by Naomi Niles
“We see each other all the time,” I reminded her.
“But we haven’t really spoken in ages.” She smiled, and her blue eyes were constantly curious. “And, I noticed the other day that someone else picked Renni up from school.”
“That was Aunty Vanessa,” Renni piped up.
“Oh,” Erica looked disappointed by the answer. “Your sister?”
“My friend, actually,” I said grudgingly. “I was busy with a case last week.”
“Of course,” Erica nodded. “Being a single parent can’t be easy. I’m sure it helps having friends who pick up the slack.”
I cringed at the way she said it. I hated how inadequate she made me feel. Was I so insecure that it took a few stray words from someone I didn’t even like to get me all frazzled?
“I’ve got to get going, Erica,” I said, trying to cut the conversation short.
“Oh,” she said, looking disappointed. “Well, how about a play date soon with Renni and Donny? You and I can catch up while the kids play.”
I smiled tightly. “I’ll let you know.”
“Oh, okay…”
“See you later, Erica,” I said, steering Renni away from her.
I made sure that Renni’s seatbelt was fastened well before I got into the front seat and turned the engine on.
“Mommy?” Renni called, from the backseat.
“Yes, darling?” I asked.
“I drew a picture today at school,” she said. “You want to see?”
“Do I ever.” I nodded emphatically, as I turned around in my seat to face her.
She reached into her backpack and pulled out the small sketchpad that Vanessa had bought for her last birthday. Then she pulled out a loose piece of paper from inside it and handed it over to me.
Her picture showed our house complete with the old oak that sat out front. There was an inflatable pool in the front yard and we were standing around it in our swimsuits. I could make out Renni and myself easily, and I could recognize Vanessa from the white blonde of her hair, even though I didn’t understand why Renni had chosen to make her hair curly.
In the corner of the image, hovering just above our roof, there appeared to be a man with wings and a massive smile on his face.
I felt my chest grow a little tighter, but I kept the smile on my face. “You drew your dad?” I asked.
“He’s in heaven,” sheRenni replied. “That’s why he has wings.”
“Ah.”
“And, he’s watching over us,” Rennishe continued.
“I see that,” I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. I turned my attention back to her picture. “He bought you that inflatable pool when you were only six months old. You adored that thing. He had to inflate it at least twice a week when you got older.”
“It burst, though,” Rennishe said sadly.
“We used it till there were holes everywhere,” I smiled fondly at the memory. “He always said it was the best thing he ever bought you.”
“I want to show my picture to Aunt Vanessa,” Renni said.
“She’ll be thrilled to see a new picture,” I nodded, as I handed the picture back to her and started the drive to Vanessa’s house. “She loves your drawings.”
“I want to be an artist when I grow up,” she informed me. “Just like Aunt Vanessa.”
“Well, then I’m certain you will be,” I said. “Keep drawing.”
Ten minutes later, we pulled up outside Vanessa’s loft apartment. I carried Renni’s backpack in for her as she rushed to Vanessa’s door and knocked excitedly. A few moments later, the door opened and Vanessa bent to her knees immediately for a hug.
“Renni girl,” she cooed. “How’ve you been, little bunny?”
“Good,” Renni replied. “I drew a new picture today.”
“How exciting,” she crowed. “You must show me.”
As Renni proceeded to get out her drawing, Vanessa gave me a welcoming smile and closed the door behind us. “You look tired,” she said gently.
“It’s been a busy week,” I replied.
Vanessa didn’t exactly have a traditional living room. She had a low coffee table that was only a few inches from the ground, and instead of surrounding it with chairs or cushions, she had opted for beanbags. She and I collapsed onto two colorful beanbags, just as Renni presented Vanessa with her latest art work.
She didn’t comment right away. She took her time, as though she were really studying the image. I knew this was why Renni loved showing her work to Vanessa. It was because she felt truly considered, truly seen when she offered up something new to view.
“This is a very interesting drawing, Renni girl,” Vanessa nodded. “There are lots of interesting things here. First of all I must say that I love what you’ve done with my hair.”
“You said you always wanted curly hair,” Rennishe said.
“I did,” Vanessa nodded. “But my hair just refuses to curl. And, who’s this is the corner?”
“That’s Daddy,” Rennishe replied. “He’s in heaven, so he’s got wings.”
“Of course,” Vanessa nodded. “That’s a nice touch.”
“Guess what?” I asked.
“What?”
“Renni wants to be an artist like you when she grows up.”
“Is that so?” Vanessa asked, with raised eyebrows.
Renni gave her a shy smile and nodded.
“Well, then you must never stop drawing,” Vanessa said firmly. “And you must never believe anyone who tells you that you’re not good. You hear me?”
RenniShe nodded seriously.
“Good. Now, I have a few snacks lying about. Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Would you like to draw a little until you are?”
“Yes,” Rennishe nodded enthusiastically.
Vanessa got out a few pieces of clean white paper, along with pencils, crayons, colored pencils, and a number of other little things in a variety of different colors. “Go crazy,” she encouraged.
Renni settled down on the floor beside us and started drawing with vested interest. I smiled at the sight of her for a moment before I turned to Vanessa. “Thanks,” I mouthed to her.
Vanessa gave me a little wink. “How was work?”
“Long,” I admitted. “We’re making progress, though… It’s just slow progress.”
“You’ll be able to get him exonerated though, right?”
“Mommy’s still working on it,” Renni piped up unexpectedly. “These things take time.”
I laughed. “That’s right,” I nodded. “These things do take time.”
Vanessa shook her head at my daughter and turned to me. “She’s a sharp one.”
“She takes after her father,” I said, trying not to let the memory of Clint dampen my mood. “Are you all set for tomorrow night?”
“Pretty much,” Vanessa nodded. “I’m debuting a whole new collection, so that part is always scary. But I’m hoping for a successful showing.”
“I’ve seen this collection, Vanessa,” I said. “It’s breathtaking.”
“I hope the critics feel the same way.”
“If they have any taste at all, they will,” I said confidently.
“Mia?”
“Yes?”
“You look a little…” Vanessa glanced at Renni and then toward me. “Pale.”
“Mommy’s always pale,” Renni said, without looking up from her drawing.
“You’re right,” Vanessa smiled. “But I know what can help with that: some wine. Mia, why don’t we go into the kitchen and get out two glasses.”
We left Renni in the living room and moved toward the kitchen where we could talk privately. I sat along the kitchen counter on one of Vanessa’s swivelling bar stools so that I could see Renni from my vantage point.
“Pale?” I asked.
“What I meant was upset,” Vanessa cleared up. “You seem bothered by something.”
I sighed. “Trust an artist to pick up on that,”
I smiled. “It’s nothing, really. I just ran into Erica today before we drove over here.”
“Ick,” she said, with distaste. “That broad needs to mind her own business. What exactly did she say to upset you?”
“Nothing major,” I said fairly. “It’s just her tone…the way she says things. It makes me feel like I’m doing a half ass job.”
“With what?”
“With motherhood,” I admitted.
“Come on, Mia!” Vanessa cried indignantly.
“No, I’m serious,” I said before she could tell me I was being ridiculous. “Half the time, I feel like I’m faking it, and the other half, I feel as though I’m failing miserably.”
“Most parents feel that way,” she said calmly. “It’s normal. And you of all people have a right to feel overwhelmed sometimes. You lost your husband and you’re raising a child on your own. Remember what it was like at the beginning, right after the accident? You and Renni have come a long way since then.”
“But it’s not getting any easier, Vanessa,” I said tiredly. “It’s been two years since we lost Clint and…everything’s still so hard. I mean, this was never the plan. When I got pregnant, I was terrified. I was only twenty-two and barely out of college. The only reason I believed I could do it at all was because I had Clint by my side. We were a team; we were going to do it together. That was the plan.”
“Plans change, darling,” Vanessa said sympathetically.
“I know,” I sighed heavily. “I just wish life wasn’t that unfair. Renni needs a man in her life. I know she misses Clint terribly, and she’s craved a male presence ever since he died.”
“Hang in there, Mia,” Vanessa told me. “Life can change on a dime.”
“Not fast enough,” I breathed.
“Be patient.”
“Patience,” I repeated. “It’s the one thing I was never very good at.”
“Maybe meeting someone would help,” Vanessa said innocently, as she sipped her wine.
I rolled my eyes. “You bring that up every three months.”
“Because you always avoid talking about it.”
“With good reason,” I said. “I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“Why not?” she demanded. “It will be good for you. And who knows? It might even be good for Renni.”
I took a sip of my wine. “I’m not ready,” I said stubbornly.
“Fine,” she sighed. “If I can’t convince you to date, can I at least convince you to come to the art gallery tomorrow to see my new collection?”
I smiled. “Now that I can do.”
Chapter Five
Sam
I was walking into the day room at the exact same time that Jackson turned up. He gave me a wave and a look that clearly indicated he wanted details from the night before.
As usual, the day room was chocked full of activity. The television had been pushed to one corner of the room with the large dining table on the opposite end, next to the kitchen.
There were a number of small seating areas between the table and the television for everyone to kick back and relax between shifts. Jackson and I picked a spot and sat down together. We liked being early for our shifts; it gave us a little time to harass a few people before we started our day.
“So?” Jackson asked immediately. “I saw you leave last night with the hot blonde. How’d it go? Was she as wild as she looked?”
“Oh yeah,” I smiled. “The plan was to fuck her in the backseat of my pick-up-”
“The whole reason you got that upgrade in the first place,” he interrupted.
I smiled. “Not entirely, but certainly an important part of my reason.”
“You didn’t fuck her in your backseat, then?”
“She got in the front seat before I could stop her,” I explained. “And she told me to take her some place where she could show me how flexible she was.”
“Damn!”
“Right?” I said. “How could I refuse?”
“You took her home?”
“Fuck, no,” I said, shaking my head. “You know I don’t take women home.”
“Pete’s again, then?” he asked with a laugh.
I smirked. “He’s not going to be happy when he wakes up to find her in the den.”
“Are you fucking serious? You left her there?”
“In my defence, I tried to wake her before I left,” I said. “She was sleeping so soundly she was actually snoring.”
“Charming.”
“The magic always breaks by the next morning,” I nodded.
Just at that moment, my phone rang and I glanced at the name on my screen. “Ah,” I smiled. “Right on cue.”
“Peter?”
“Who else,” I said, as I answered his call. “Hi, bro, what’s up?”
“You little fucker!”
I snorted into the phone. “Good morning to you, too.”
“I have told you a million times to keep your one-night stands out of my house.”
“Please, I haven’t even brought half that number home,” I said. “But give me time.”
“Sam!”
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “But come on, Pete; you kind of have to accept part of the blame here.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Well, what did you expect me to do after you went and added a sex room to the house?”
Peter stuttered over his words. “Sex room! It’s a fucking addition that was supposed to be used as a den, not your own personal sex room.”
“Oh,” I said innocently. “I didn’t get that memo.”
“Your little bootie call nearly gave our mother a heart attack.”
“Oops,” I said. “Mom.”
“That’s right… Mom,” Peter agreed. “Or have you also forgotten that she’s living here for the time being.”
“What did she say?”
“She said that she’s going to pray for your soul.”
I smiled. “Can you also tell her to pray for my continued virility?” I asked. “Because I would really appreciate that.”
“You have no shame.”
“Aw, thanks.”
“Go back to work, you little turd,” Peter said in a dark voice. He only ever used that tone when he was secretly amused, but didn’t want me to know.
“See you soon, big brother,” I laughed before I hung up on him.
Jackson looked at me with amusement. “Peter owns a gun you know,” he reminded me.
“He loves me too much to ever use it on me,” I said smugly.
“Are you willing to risk it?”
“Always.”
“Okay,” Jackson said, heaving himself to his feet. “We’d better get ready. The crew on engine twenty-two is coming in soon.”
Jackson and I headed to the lockers to change into our bunker gear and gather our supplies. Mitch, Sean, and Hamish joined us moments later. Hamish glanced at Jackson and me wearily, but I gave him a little smile to show him that our hazing was all in good fun. He returned my smile a little skittishly and then began to suit up.
“Crew twenty-two just came in,” Mitch told us. He was the officer in charge for our crew, mostly because of seniority, but also because he was so damn level headed all the time. “So we-”
He broke off as the alarm sounded. “That’s us,” he said, his tone changing instantly into one of urgent action. “Let’s go, boys.”
“That was fast,” I breathed, grabbing my trauma and medical boxes on the way out.
We jumped into engine forty-one, the fire truck that was more or less designated to our crew, and headed west on the main road.
“It’s a three-seventeen,” Mitch informed as, as he spoke to the dispatcher through the truck radio.
I turned to Hamish. He looked a little pale, but also determined. “Three-seventeen, kid,” I said. “You know what that means?”
“It’s a… an automobile accident.”
“That’s right,” I nodded.
“A ca
r slid off the road on route thirty-three,” Mitch told us as more information came in.
With the siren belting through the air, we got to the lake in a few minutes. We jumped out of the truck and took in the scene that greeted us. The car had obviously skidded on the icy road, smashed through the weak fence separating the road from the lake, and now it was half submerged in icy water.
There was a small group of civilians staring in horror at the accident. They looked on helplessly as we arrived. Immediately, my brain kicked in to action mode, and I surveyed the scene. There were two people in the car, the driver and the passenger. If we waited much longer to get them out, hypothermia would set in.
“We need back up,” I heard Mitch say, but I tuned him out and turned to Jackson.
We had a moment of silent communication, and it was like we both knew what we had to do. I stripped off my heavy bunker gear, and Jackson followed suit. Then, before anyone could stop us, Jackson and I dove into the lake from either side and started swimming towards the sinking vehicle.
The moment my body hit the water, I felt daggers stab at every inch of my skin. It was enough to turn a man’s brain numb, but I pushed through, knowing there were two lives at risk if I couldn’t hold it together for the next few minutes. Thankfully, the car wasn’t that far into the lake, and I reached it quickly. I was at the driver’s side, where I could see the lifeless form behind the wheel.
His neck was still above water, but it appeared he had lost consciousness, either from the cold or from the impact. There was a small bleed on the corner of his forehead. I used all my strength to force the door open. I took a deep breath and submerged myself, keeping my eyes open so that I could unfasten his seatbelt and free him from the car.
Once he was unstrapped, I grabbed a hold of him and pulled him out from the vehicle before it sank. I kept a firm grip on is body as I pulled him to the bank. I was unaware of anything but the unconscious man by my side. The moment we made it to the edge of the lake, I heard a cheer go up from the watching bystanders. The paramedics were already there, and they took charge as I approached.
Coughing and shivering, I dragged myself out of the water. Someone, I think it was Hamish, shoved a blanket into my hands, and I quickly wrapped it around my shoulders.
“Where’s Jackson?” I asked, the moment my teeth stopped chattering.