by Naomi Niles
“I love you, Sam.”
I was taken aback by her words, and they made me freeze in place. Love was not a word I threw around lightly. The only people I really ever said it to were my brothers, and even then it was not always in a serious context. But despite my surprise, I recognized the surge of emotion that rose up to meet Renni’s words.
“I love you, too, Renni,” I said, and as I said the words I knew instinctively that I meant them. Who would have thought that the first time I said “I love you” would be to a five year old?
I said goodbye to Renni and made my way outside. Since Mia had dropped Renni and I off, I didn’t have my pick up with me. The station was not far off anyway, and I had wanted to walk back and enjoy the day. I exchanged a few words with Joseph, said goodbye, and headed for the station.
It was a blustery day; the wind was strong but not uncomfortable. I thought about Renni and her parting words the whole time I was walking. In fact, I was so engrossed in that moment, that I barely noticed the burning stench in the air.
When it finally caught my attention, I realized that this was no fledging fire. Frowning, I glanced around, trying to find the source of the smell. And then I saw it. There was a building facing away from me on the adjoining street that seemed to be on fire. I grabbed my phone and called in it, just in case no one had spotted it yet, then I ran straight for the building.
The fire seemed to be coming from the upper floors. There was a massive sign on the front of the building that read that it was in foreclosure. I hoped that meant there weren’t any people inside. On the heels of that thought, an older man stumbled from the entrance, coughing and retching. I rushed towards him.
“Sir?” I said. “Sir, are you alright?”
“My wife,” he gasped. “My wife is still in there. I couldn’t carry her out… I couldn’t… She was too heavy…”
“Is she unconscious, sir?” I asked, in my calmest voice.
“I think so,” he replied. “She’s in a wheelchair.”
“Are there any more people in the building?” I asked, looking around desperately for any sign that help might be on the way. Where were the first responders?
“One other family that have yet to move out,” the old man replied. “But I think they’re at work.”
Relieved, I stared up at the building. “Can you help me?” the man asked desperately. “My wife, she’s sick.”
I paced on the spot, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. This was my job, but I was not prepared. I had no gear and no back up. The promise I made to Mia rang in my ears, and I knew this would be going against it. But there was a woman in that building who needed my help.
“Stay here,” I told the man. “When the fire fighters get here, tell them what you told me.”
Before he could reply, I took a deep breath and headed straight into the burning building.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Mia
“Morning, Helen!” I said cheerfully as I walked into our shared office space.
Helen looked up at me through her glasses. “Well, well,” she smiled. “Someone’s mighty chipper this morning.”
“Am I?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. I laughed. “Okay, maybe I am.”
“And, does this good mood have anything to do with your hot young boy toy?”
“He’s hardly a boy toy,” I said defensively.
“Oh, give me an excuse to use the term,” Helen said. She slid her chair closer to the desk and leaned against it. “But seriously… How are things going with the two of you?”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “Things are going really well. I’m in a relationship for the first time in years, and it actually feels really amazing.”
“I can see that on your face,” she nodded. “I’m happy for you, Mia. If anyone deserves a good man, it’s you.”
“Thank you, Helen,” I said sincerely, checking the time on my phone. “So…work.”
She laughed at my reluctance. “We’re actually doing pretty well work wise,” she told me. “We have all the paperwork ready for the Gilbert case and Alice Cena’s trial has been pushed back, so we have more time to work on her defence.”
“Hmm… I think I’ll go visit her tomorrow,” I said. “I don’t want her to feel forgotten. She should know we’re doing our hardest to prove that she’s innocent.”
“You have a way with people, Mia,” Helen said, in an admiring tone. “You always have. It’s quite uncharacteristic in a lawyer, which is probably what makes you so effective.”
“You think so?” I asked. “I always kind of felt as though I was faking it half the time.”
“Can I let you in on a little secret,” she said. “We’re all faking it, honey; it’s just that some of us are better at it than others. You’re sincere – it’s a quality that is hard to come by, especially in our line of work.”
“It is possible to be a lawyer and to be honest,” I said.
“I’ve heard your argument before,” Helen nodded. “I just don’t know how realistic it is.”
“Meaning I’m an idealist?”
“Meaning you have a tendency to judge people by your own standards,” she clarified. “Which can skew your perception somewhat.”
I nodded and glanced at the clock again.
“Mia?”
“Yes?” I said, meeting Helen’s eyes.
“Why do you keep checking the time?”
I smiled. “Sorry, I’m just…preoccupied.”
“I can tell,” she nodded. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s career day at Renni’s school,” I explained.
Helen frowned at me. “So why aren’t you over there?”
“Because Renni didn’t ask me to career day this time,” I replied. “She asked Sam.”
Helen raised her eyebrows in surprise. “No kidding.”
“She really wanted him to be the one to speak to her friends,” I said. “And, he was actually really happy to do it for her.”
“I can see that that’s earned him some major brownie points.”
I smiled. “He didn’t have to do it,” I said. “Plus, it’s a pretty big statement to make, don’t you think? I mean, he’s probably the only non-parent in the classroom right now.”
“Was he aware of that?”
“I made it a point to mention it to him,” I said. “He was completely unfazed.”
“That’s a good sign,” she said. “It means he doesn’t scare easily.”
“Yeah… I wish I could say the same about myself.”
She looked at me carefully for a moment. “You scare easily?”
“Well… Mo, not like that,” I rushed to correct myself. “It’s just that lately… I’ve had a few concerns.”
“About what?”
“His job,” I admitted. “He’s a fire fighter, and I guess it didn’t really hit me until recently…”
“That he’s a fire fighter?” she asked in slight amusement.
“I didn’t really sit and think about what he does every day,” I said. “I was so caught up in work and Renni and the fact that he was wrongly incarcerated that I overlooked his job. He took me to this picnic thing that the station does annually, and I sat there listening to all these crazy stories.
“He’s done some insane stuff, Helen. He’s pulled kids out of burning buildings and grown women out of cars just before they explode. I mean, he’s literally risking his life every time he reports to work.”
Helen listened to me sympathetically. “I can see how that might be hard for you.”
“If I commit to this man, I’m going to spend the rest of my life worrying about him,” I sighed.
“That’s true,” she nodded. “But the alternative isn’t really an option, is it?”
“Which would be what exactly?”
“Asking him to give up his career,” she said.
I dismissed it immediately. “Of course, that’s out of the question. I could never ask him to
give up his career for me. Nor would I want him to. I mean, being a fire fighter is what makes him Sam. I couldn’t ask him to throw that away for me.”
“Even if that means you won’t have to worry?”
I hesitated for a moment. “Yes,” I said finally. “Even if it means I won’t have to worry anymore.”
Helen smiled. “Each relationship comes with its set of challenges, Mia,” she said. “Maybe you have to accept the fact that this is the challenge in this particular relationship.”
“It’s not just me anymore, Helen,” I reminded her. “I have Renni to think about, too. She’s crazy about Sam already, and she’s already lost one father. I don’t want her to have to lose another.”
“Of course not, honey,” Helen said, with maternal fondness. “No mother wants that for their child. But you need to decide whether being with Sam is worth the risk.”
“The risk?” I repeated, in a small voice.
“The risk of losing him, the risk of having Renni lose him,” she explained. “Is being with Sam going to be worth it in the long run?”
“I… I… I don’t know,” I stammered at last. It was too big a question for me to answer just like that, without careful thought and consideration.
“Think about it,” Helen said gently. “And until you do, enjoy yourself. You’ve been alone too long, Mia. You don’t need a man in your life, but it’s nice to have one all the same, especially if he’s a decent human being who can treat you and your daughter with love and respect. Remember to live a little.”
I was contemplating Helen’s words when my phone started to ring. I didn’t recognize the number, but I was hoping it was Sam as I answered.
“Hello?”
“Mia?” the voice was urgent and familiar.
“Speaking,” I replied. “I’m sorry, who is this?”
“It’s Peter, Sam’s brother.”
I felt my insides grow cold suddenly, and I froze in place. Why would Peter be calling me? The last time he had sought me out was because his brother had been thrown into jail. I felt myself panicking.
“Peter,” I said. “What’s wrong? Is Sam alright?”
“Sam is in the hospital-”
“What?” I gasped, standing up and upending the chair I had been sitting on. Helen looked at me in alarm, but I couldn’t make myself look at her.
“Don’t worry,” Peter said quickly, raising his voice to make sure his words got through. “He’s fine, he’s safe. There was just a small…incident. I just thought you’d want to know.”
“What hospital?” I asked.
“Sloane Methodist,” he replied.
“I’m on my way,” I said, without asking for more details.
“Give me a call when you get here,” he said.
“Okay,” I agreed, before cutting the line abruptly.
I grabbed my purse and headed for the door.
“Mia?” Helen’s voice reminded me that she was still in the room.
“It’s Sam,” I said. “I don’t know what happened, but…he’s in the hospital.”
“Go,” she said immediately. “I’ll cover for you here.”
“Bless you,” I said, rushing for my car.
The fifteen-minute drive to the hospital was too long. And, it made me regret not asking Peter what had happened. My mind started creating increasingly dramatic scenarios of what might have happened, and suddenly, I was seeing Sam lying unconscious on a hospital bed tied up to a million different wires. I wondered why in every scenario, I saw Sam’s first before he morphed into Clint.
I reminded myself that Peter had said that Sam was fine. Somehow, that didn’t give me much comfort.
As I parked my car, I called Peter, who told me to meet him at the hospital’s entrance. When I got there, he was standing by the massive doors waiting for me. He was dressed in dark pants and a white shirt, with his officer’s badge on full display on his breast pocket.
“What happened?” I asked the moment I saw him.
“As I understand it, Sam had just left Renni’s school, and he was walking over to the station for his shift. On the way there, he smelled smoke and headed in the direction of the fire. Thankfully, the building was in foreclosure so it was practically empty.
“Except for this older couple that got stuck on the fourth floor. The husband managed to make it down, but his wife, who was handicapped and sickly, didn’t.”
“Sam went in there after her,” I said, understanding immediately.
“Yes,” Peter nodded. “The ambulance got waylaid on the way there. If Sam had waited any longer, she would have died. He saved her life.”
“What about him?” I asked desperately.
“There was a lot of smoke,” he replied as we took the elevators up two floors. “Sam blacked out the moment he got out of the building. They rushed him here and called me. I’m listed as his emergency contact. He’s conscious now and completely fine.”
“Can I see him?”
“Of course,” he said, coming to a stop outside room three-seventy. “Go ahead. I’ll wait out here.”
I thanked Peter and headed inside the tiny room. Sam was propped up on the high single bed with his left hand connected to a small monitor that appeared to be keeping track of his heartrate.
“Hey, you,” he said, his face breaking out into a huge smile. “What do you think about my master plan to get you out of work today?”
I stared at him without cracking a smile. “This is not funny,” I said firmly.
The smile on his face slipped as he realized how upset and emotional I was. “I’m sorry,” he said, and his tone reverted to seriousness. “I just thought I’d…lighten the mood.”
“Peter told me what you did,” I said, hoping that my words didn’t sound like an accusation.
“Mia,” his voice was soft and emphatic. “I wouldn’t have done it. But he was looking at me and asking for my help. And I could see it in his eyes…he loved her. He loved his wife and was terrified of losing her. How could I have just stood by and waited? How could I have stood there and done nothing?”
“You couldn’t have,” I said, trying to force back my tears.
“Mia,” Sam’s voice was imploring. “Come here…please.”
I hesitated for only a moment before I walked over to his bedside. He put his hand on my hip and forced me to a seating position beside him. He held my hand and kissed it tenderly.
“I’m sorry to have to put you through this,” he said sincerely. “I know I made you a promise-”
“I told you it wasn’t a promise you couldn’t make,” I interrupted him. “I told you it wasn’t realistic.”
“I know you did,” he nodded.
“But…this is your job,” I said. “I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with it.”
“Mia-”
“I’m always going to be worried for you,” I sighed. “I’m always going to be terrified when you go off to work.”
“Mia-”
“I just… I want you to be safe. And, I’m scared of losing you. And, I’m-”
“I love you.”
I stopped in my tracks and stared at Sam for a moment. He didn’t blink.
“What?” I asked.
“I love you, Mia,” Sam repeated again. “You’re the first girl I’ve ever said those words to.”
“I am?” I asked, in amazement.
“Actually…the second girl.”
“Oh,” I said.
“The first girl was five years old and had the same green eyes that you have.”
“Renni?” I asked in shock.
Sam smiled slowly. “This morning,” he nodded. “She said it to me first.”
“Oh,” I said. It seemed that was all I was capable of saying.
“Mia-”
“I love you, too,” I said suddenly, the words bursting out of me before I had given my mouth permission to speak. We stared at each other for a moment and then Sam smiled and kissed my hand again.
“I g
uess that’s that,” he said, his hazel eyes twinkling.
“I guess so,” I whispered.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sam
I flipped through the channels, trying to find something that would take my mind of the numbing boredom that came from sitting in a hospital room by myself for the past two hours.
I knew I was being silly. It was practically the first time I had been left on my own. If Peter, Madison, or Mom weren’t with me, then Mia certainly was.
This morning, however, Peter, Madison, and Mom all had to work and Mia had Renni to take care of. I was fairly sure someone would pop in soon, but the boredom was starting to get to me. A local news story caught my attention and I took my finger off the button. I heard the name Jackson Neilson, and I held my breath for a moment.
The news was running a story about his indictment. There was interest because of the fact that he ran a bar in town. It had since been shut down and exposed as a front for a massive money-laundering scheme that included a local drug ring. Apparently, there was evidence tying Jackson directly to the drug ring, and it seemed that his chances of getting out of this were slim.
I sat there thinking about the early days with Jackson. He had always been ambitious – we both had – but his ambition had always been different to mine. I had been less interested in money and more interested in distinguishing myself in my profession. Jackson had always complained that fire fighting didn’t really pay as much as it should.
I had always believed that he was just shooting his mouth off, complaining about something we couldn’t change. I had no idea he would take it so far.
I thought about our rookie days together and how enthusiastic we both had been about starting at the station. I remembered how Jackson’s excitement had turned into recklessness and then cockiness as the two of us became known for our burst of bravery in the line of fire.
“They should increase our salaries,” he used to tell me. “They don’t pay us enough for what we do.”
“They pay us the same as everyone else,” I used to remind him.
He would shake his head at me. “We both know that you and I put ourselves in danger far more than anyone else in this station.”