‘In that case, one thing is definitely the job situation. I don’t think I want to keep working there, Donna.’
‘I understand that, but I do feel bad. I shouldn’t have told you about my problems because it’s now impacting your career. The whole glass ceiling thing might all change for the better some time soon.’
I shrugged. ‘Even if it does, it just feels tainted now, but I’m glad you told me. I think my time there has run its course.’
‘So you’re definitely going to leave?’
I stared at the view for a while, and Donna and Laurie remained quiet. Eventually I said, ‘Yes, I’m going to leave. Who knows what I’m going to do, though.’
‘If you choose to go to another company I’ll write you a sparkling reference,’ said Donna.
‘Me too,’ Laurie chimed in.
‘What about you?’ I asked Donna. ‘Are you going to see it out, or are you going to take George’s offer and swan off to Sunshine Land?’
‘Unfortunately, that’s like asking if I’m going to hold on far longer than I’m wanted, or give them what they want. Neither fills me with joy. But at least if I leave with somewhere else to go, somewhere better, that’d give me some sense of victory.’
‘It does sound way better,’ I said. ‘Laurie, George’s office is this huge glass building with views of South Beach in Miami. And Donna would be vice-president.’
‘You know, I’ve always wanted to take a holiday to Miami. Is there any chance you’re still considering that job offer, Elle?’
‘Asks the woman who practically locked me in my room to stop me agreeing yesterday.’
‘That was when I thought you were going to be his child bride.’
‘What do you think I should do?’ Donna asked me. My managing director was asking me for career advice. It felt nice.
‘I think you should go for it. If it’s awful, come home. You’ll never be happy if you stay at the agency, anyway.’
‘I think you might be right. I’m not going to give up my career, just maybe give up that company.’
‘Just rolling things back to the present, does anyone want to go there?’ asked Laurie, pointing to a town in the distance with several stone towers poking up into sky.
I shielded my eyes and squinted. ‘I think that might be San Gimignano.’
‘Oh that’s famous,’ said Donna. ‘That’s the medieval city isn’t it? The walled one? From Assassin’s Creed II? Yes, let’s go there.’
This woman was full of surprises. And with that we dusted ourselves off, climbed back on the Vespas and took off.
We explored every corner of the town, which didn’t take long, and ended up in its main square, surrounded on all sides by houses and towers three, four, five storeys tall. We set up camp for a while at a bustling café, at an outdoor table where we could people-watch – and it was about time for a gelato fix.
‘So. Do you think you could actually pack up your life and move here?’ asked Laurie when our orders came. ‘I’d miss you.’
‘I’d miss you too, I’d miss everyone. I don’t know – maybe I should stay in London.’
‘No, if it’s what you want to do you have to do it. Especially if you’re going to leave one job anyway – it would be the perfect time. I’ll miss you, but I’d also like free holidays to Italia.’
‘But what about my parents? I don’t want to be too far from my mum and dad.’
‘Can I offer you a little advice?’ interjected Donna. ‘About moving away from your parents?’
‘Go ahead, the more advice the better.’
‘I have a daughter, as I think you know, and since the divorce I’ve kept her as close as possible. She’s been not only my family, but my escape from work, my best friend, my everything. But when I think what she’s missed out on because of me it breaks my heart. She had the opportunity to study abroad for a year, in New York, but she never even told me about it – just turned it down – and I know it’s because she didn’t think she could leave me. I clipped her wings as I was scared of being on my own, and now it doesn’t feel good. It’s my biggest regret. Trust me, your mum would hate to think she was the one holding you back.’
‘I have an idea,’ said Laurie. ‘How old is your daughter now?’
‘She’s just finished university.’
‘So prime gap-year age?’
‘I guess so, though she’s just been job-hunting.’
‘If you go to Florida, maybe you could take her with you. You’d be giving her the adventure you think she’s missed out on, but neither of you would be lonely.’
Donna lapsed into silence, stirring her melting gelato.
‘It was just a thought,’ said Laurie.
‘It’s a really good thought, I like it. It had crossed my mind as soon as the offer was on the table, but I was thinking more from the angle of “could I leave her”, or “should I stay?”, rather than would she want to uproot and come too. Now I think about it, I reckon she’d like it.’
Our conversation lulled for a while, and I thought about what it would be like to live here in Italy. Would I become fluent? How often would I fly home? Would it be the biggest mistake I’d ever make, or the best thing I could have ever done?
‘I am the most humongous bitch in the world!’ I suddenly cried. ‘This has all been about me. Laurie, I haven’t asked you how you’re feeling about Jon. Are you going to see him again after we’ve gone home?’
‘I’d like to …’ she said.
‘But?’
‘Okay, you’re not allowed to murder me in my sleep for saying this, because I know this whole thing was my idea, but I think I’d quite like to just take it slowly and not rush into anything. Maybe be on my own a little bit.’
‘Who reversed our brains?’
‘I know! It’s just that I do really like Jon, and I would like us to see each other again, but I might just see if it happens organically.’
‘Does this mean you’ll go back to dating in London?’
‘Not … aggressively. I liked the concept of this holiday, of meeting people with similar interests and getting to know each other. Back in London I think I might just put myself out there a bit more – but not in an attempt to find love, just to get some hobbies of my own. Maybe I’ll meet some new people, maybe I won’t.’
Donna nodded. ‘Sometimes it’s nice to go and do these things you think you should only do on a date on your own, or with friends.’ We all nodded at our combined wisdom. ‘So what happened to Marco? Did you ditch him?’
‘Yeah, there was no spark.’
I snapped my fingers at a memory. ‘And what happened with Pierre – yesterday I saw him sucking face with Annette, of all people. I thought she was dead-set on Marco. She’s like a dominatrix to Pierre, surely?’
Laurie coloured a deep red.
‘What is that look for?’
‘Nothing.’
I put down my gelato spoon (for all of five seconds). ‘Laurie, you tell us this instant or we’ll eat your ice cream.’
‘Fine. But you can’t breathe a word to anyone.’
Donna and I nodded. Except we might as well have shaken our heads because I had a feeling I was about to hear a story that would be repeated for years to come.
Laurie sighed, then ordered more gelato all round. ‘The other evening I got a call to my room. It was Pierre, sounding a bit … husky. He asked if I could come and help him right away.’
‘We have phones in our room? Sorry, not important.’ I waved her on.
‘First I just thought maybe he’d broken something and needed help, so I went over there, then as I was about to knock on his door I wondered if it was something more like he’d put a wine bottle up his bottom and it had got stuck there – and you can’t miss that, it would be hilarious. So I knocked, he called me in, and …’
‘And?’
‘I don’t even want to say it.’
‘Say it!’
Laurie squirmed. ‘He was crouched on the floor, in lit
tle PVC shorts and this collary-strappy thing, and he’d tied his wrists to the bedpost.’
Donna and I gawped at her. ‘TELL US MORE!’
‘Well, I didn’t know what to think, so I asked him who did it to him, and he said …’ She fanned herself. ‘He said he did it to himself, because he needed to be punished, and I should give him a good spanking.’
Donna covered her eyes, I covered my ears, Laurie covered her mouth.
‘Did you do it?’ I whispered.
‘No!’ she cried. ‘I told him to put his clothes on and stop being so silly, but that just spurred him on.’
‘I think by this point I would have thwacked him one just for putting you in that position,’ said Donna, gulping down some Sicilian lemonade and fanning herself.
‘Then it got awkward,’ said Laurie.
‘Then it got awkward?’ I cried.
‘I think the penny dropped that I wasn’t into all this stuff.’
‘Why was the penny ever … picked up?’
‘I have no idea. I’ve asked myself the same thing. Maybe I was a little treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen to the three of them for a few days, but if he thinks that means a girl is a dominatrix I think he needs to do a little more research.’
‘What did he say?’
‘He got really flustered and tried to wriggle out of the hand ties and I tried to help, then he toppled over and one of his balls fell out.’
Donna was laughing so hard she knocked her gelato to the ground; then, after taking a moment to mourn it, her giggling fit started up again. To think that only two weeks ago I was terrified of upsetting this woman. Now I know she drives Vespas, plays video games and finds balls hilarious. She was so normal. Was I allowed to be friends outside work with my director?
‘I just grabbed his nail clippers, snipped the ties, said a polite goodbye and legged it,’ Laurie was saying. ‘And I’ve avoided him ever since. Now you’re saying he’s hooked up with Annette, and frankly it makes perfect sense.’
‘Pierre … who would have thought it. I can’t wait to tell Jamie.’ My face fell. He would find it hilarious, but would we laugh together in the same way we had before?
Laurie and Donna glanced at each other. ‘Would now be a good time to dissect the Jamie situation?’ Laurie asked. ‘Did you think any more about him during the night?’
‘Just drifting thoughts, no conclusions. I like him so much, and it’s clear he likes me too. It was all a misunderstanding, but I’m nervous about living up to this perfect girlfriend role.’
‘What do you mean? Why would you need to be perfect?’ asked Donna.
‘I just wouldn’t want to be the one to hurt him again, if things didn’t work out.’
‘You’re not Rachel, though; you wouldn’t do what she did,’ said Laurie. ‘And hang on, why so convinced it wouldn’t work out?’
I shrugged. ‘Just thinking of the worst case scenario, I guess. Donna, do you want another ice cream?’ She shook her head, and Laurie narrowed her eyes at me; she wasn’t done with me yet. ‘In that case, does anyone mind if we split up and meet again in an hour or so?’ I was keen to get off the Jamie topic. I still didn’t have the answers – I just needed a little more time.
I left the girls, and left the tourists, and walked until I found a secluded bench high on the hill, shaded by trees. I sat down and relished the peace and quiet.
I’d been on my own for a long time and I still considered that a good thing, even if things were changing now. I knew myself so well, and I knew that if I needed to make some decisions, the best person to help me with that was myself.
It was so relaxing here, like all my worries were drifting away, even despite everything that was going on. I think I was ready to make a change to my life. Would it be as big a change as coming here? I didn’t know – I’m not sure I could make that decision without going home first. But these ten days away had opened my eyes to not only all the fun, all the life, I was missing out on, but also to how my career could grow and blossom in a million different directions.
Jamie. What would become of me and Jamie? This time yesterday I thought it was over, but now the ball was in my court and I felt that it wouldn’t be over unless I decided it should be. But there was no real reason we couldn’t at least try to make it work – either long-distance or if I did end up moving to Italy. And with a deep breath I decided I needed to stop fannying about and plunge into this big love pool everyone’s always harping on about.
‘Live a little, Elle,’ I told myself.
By the time I met Laurie and Donna again I felt refreshed, like someone had rinsed my mind with that lovely Garnier cleansing water.
‘You look happy,’ Laurie commented as we strapped on our helmets.
‘I feel very happy. I think I’m going to try and make it work with Jamie.’
She beamed and leant over to high-five me, almost toppling from her Vespa. We then rode a short distance away from the town and parked up at a pretty lookout at the top of a vineyard, to survey the horizon and choose our final stopping point of the day.
‘What about that place?’ asked Donna as she and I climbed off our scooters, pointing to what appeared to be a crumbling monastery not too far away.
Laurie was still seated on her Vespa, muttering something, when all of a sudden there was a piercing scream and she sped off at top speed, her feet dangling wildly out to the sides, her scooter cutting right through the vines while she bumped and squealed her way over the soil.
‘LAURIE!’ I shouted and took off after her, as if I’d be able to chase down a Vespa. ‘Jump off!’
She answered me with another trilling scream, the scooter shook manically and then they crashed head-first into a hedge. Laurie’s bottom and a spinning bike wheel was all I could see when I reached them.
‘Laurie, Laurie, can you hear me?’ I pulled at her knickers, the only thing within reach.
‘Owww,’ she warbled from inside the hedge. ‘Get off, these are expensive knickers.’
She shuffled out and collapsed to the ground, shaking. Her face and body were covered in tiny scratches, her dress somehow tucked into her bra, her shoes gone. She started crying, deep, breathy tears.
I reached into the hedge and turned the key in ignition, and the Vespa was silenced. I wrapped my arms gently around Laurie and stroked her hair. ‘Shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay. Are you hurt?’
‘M’ankle.’ She pointed down and tried to flex it, which caused a fresh bucket of tears. ‘Ow, m’anklehurts.’
Donna reached us, talking a million miles an hour on her phone. ‘Your ankle hurts?’ she asked. Laurie nodded and wiped her nose on my shoulder. Donna hung up. ‘That was Sofia: Sebastian’s going to drive out and meet us immediately. Do you need an ambulance?’
‘No. Just a make-up artist and a driving lesson – oh, and some sand to stick my face into.’ The shock was dying down, and her breath was gradually slowing.
‘What happened?’ I asked.
‘I don’t know. I guess I just got a bit cocky and made a mistake, started it in gear or something. Then I panicked and I couldn’t remember how to stop, and my life was flashing before my eyes. Well, some fields were at any rate. Oh God, how bad is the scooter?’
‘I’m sure it’s fine, don’t worry about that.’
‘But I’m going to have to buy them a new Vespa. I’m such an idiot. Why do I do these stupid things?’ Suddenly she sucked in her breath and grabbed my arms. ‘How’s my face? Did my Botox burst?’
‘No, you look fine.’
‘You had Botox? Why?’ said Donna, crouching next to us.
‘Because I’m determined to ruin everything about this holiday. Donna, did you see my knickers?’
‘Only from a distance.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Why?’
‘Because they’re a bit slutty, they say “Slut” on them.’
‘I didn’t notice.’
‘Then I’m so glad I told you.’
I
smoothed her hair out of her face. ‘Do you want to try standing up? You don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything.’
Laurie nodded and grabbed my hand. Donna and I took an elbow each and lifted her carefully. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to put weight down on her foot, and kept them closed as she took a wincing hobble forward.
‘It hurts like crap, but I think I can walk.’
‘Are you sure? If you need to go to hospital, or just rest—’
‘No, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I might just get one of those stretchy bandage hoo-hahs, and lay off the high heels until we’re home.’
‘Well, let’s sit you back down for now until Sebastian gets here,’ I said. Poor Laurie. ‘But if you decide you don’t want to travel tomorrow that’s okay, we can stay as long as you need.’
‘You just want more time with Signor Jamie,’ said Laurie, mopping her mascara-streaked face with a wad of leaves.
‘That’s not true.’ Except it was, and I’m the worst friend ever.
Donna went back up the hill to collect the remaining two Vespas, and somehow managed to come back clasping a large bottle of limoncello as well – who knows where she acquired that from. She poured a capful and handed it to Laurie. ‘Drink up.’
‘We’re all going to have to have one hell of a detox after this holiday,’ I said, helping myself to a swig.
‘I think I need a holiday after this holiday,’ said Laurie.
Donna looked out at the view from our little spot tucked in by a hedge, halfway down a field. Sitting there with bare, dust-covered legs, make-up free and swigging from a bottle of booze, she was a far cry from the woman who’d sat stiffly in the meeting room correcting me on Mayor Boris Johnson. ‘It’s been fun. I didn’t think it would be, but it has. Thanks to you two.’
‘Thanks to us?’ asked Laurie. ‘Are we your amores, Donna?’
‘No, I’m no closer to finding an amore, but then I never had any intention of doing so. But what a miserable old cow I was when I first got here.’ She giggled and put her face in her hands. ‘Can you believe that entrance I made?’
I laughed. ‘It was quite dramatic.’
You Had Me at Merlot Page 19