by Stella Rhys
I knew I looked as confused as possible when I came out because Hannah kind of giggled and said, “Breathe. She seems nice,” as she walked with me through the kitchen and then out to the dining room.
All I needed was one glance at the bar to know who I was looking at.
My instinct was to grin.
“Kelsey?” I said, my eyes wide as I watched that head of bright red hair turn around.
“Holy shit! You look so different!” she gasped right away, clasping both hands to her mouth.
“You do too!”
The next few minutes was comprised of squealing and hugging and pulling back from our hugs in shock to note another different thing about each other’s appearances. After introducing Kelsey to Evie as my best friend from high school, I finally thought to ask why the heck she’d decided to show up this morning.
“Well, I saw you back on Facebook for the first time in forever!” Kelsey laughed as Evie and I rounded the bar to talk to her from the other side. “You liked a picture of my cat!”
“I did?”
“Yeah! But maybe you didn’t realize it was me? I changed my name to initials so my employers can’t find me,” she snorted. “But yeah, I saw that notification and was like, ‘whoa. Blast from the past.’ And your profile didn’t have any new info on it so I may or may not have Googled you and found a bunch of articles about this place – which is amazing by the way. Holy shit, woman! What’s this about the lobster roll and the Blood Mary?”
“The Hail Mary, and I’m going to make you one now – you’re gonna love it,” Evie said with a grin that grew to a hearty laugh when a few minutes later, Kelsey took her first sip.
“Holy crap. This is strong. It’s a good thing you include a meal with it so I don’t get immediately shitfaced,” she said, popping the poached shrimp into her mouth while plucking the lobster claw off the side of the glass.
“But do you like it?” Evie asked.
“Oh, I’m definitely gonna need another one in two minutes.”
Evie grinned at me with a thumb pointed at Kelsey. “I like her,” she declared shortly before the lunch rush rolled in.
And for the rest of the afternoon – between managing the restaurant, solving server dramas and making sure tables were happy – I checked in on Kelsey, catching up with her a minute or two at a time.
Apparently, she lived on Long Island now with her husband and her deeply spoiled cat. She worked in insurance but got to do so from home, so much of her time was also spent selling homemade jewelry on Etsy, and she still kept in touch with some of our old friends from high school, but mostly not.
“I actually cut out some friends by senior year because of how shitty they were about the thing with you and… that asshole,” she said, finishing her sentence with a grimace as she eyed me. “Sorry. Should I not be talking about that?”
“Mr. Scott?” I asked. “Oh, I don’t care. He’s not really a big deal to me,” I said truthfully. In all honesty, I barely thought of my old English teacher. Whenever my mind visited that part of my past, it thought mostly of Emmett, and judging from the way Kelsey went quiet, she could tell.
“Should I get going? You guys are busy,” she said suddenly.
“Oh God, stop. No. You’re fine,” I reassured her. “If I look out of it, it’s because I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“Well, yeah, you were trolling Facebook at 2AM,” she teased just as Evie rounded into the bar to make a cappuccino. “Though in your defense, if I reactivated my Facebook after more than ten years away, I’d have stayed up the whole night stalking the shit out of people.” She sipped on the last of her drink. “I mean I still do that, actually.”
“Really?” Evie giggled. “Me too. I still stalk like, people I hooked up with once when I was a sophomore.”
“Same. Though the hook-up I still stalk happened my junior year…” Kelsey said, trailing off as she watched me process what she was saying. “Am I allowed to talk about Emmett Hoult, or no? Because I did run into him a few years ago… and we may or may not have talked about you.”
My eyebrows lifted as a gasp ripped from Evie’s throat.
“Oh my God – spill!” she hissed almost demonically. Kelsey bit a grin back but looked at me first.
“First things first, can I just say that I’m sorry I hooked up with him back then when you told me not to?” she asked, laughing sheepishly at herself. “I mean I’d literally watched a bunch of our friends lose their minds after hooking up with him once and never getting to talk to him again, and I still did it.”
“I mean who could blame you?” I shrugged, the topic of Emmett making me feel dead inside. “He was gorgeous. He was the one all the girls wanted.”
“True. Though I don’t think I ever told you the drunken shit he said to me the night we hooked up. I was too heartbroken that he was ignoring me, just like I knew he would,” Kelsey snorted, rolling her eyes at herself.
“What’d he say?” Evie asked, abandoning the cappuccino she was making to hover over the counter.
“Well, we were in Greg Barton’s bedroom, and Emmett was all drunk and just laughing and groaning and hesitating to kiss me. He kept saying, ‘This one might really fuck up my chances in the future, ‘cause you’re her actual best friend.’”
I wore a blank look as Evie gasped again.
“Yeah,” Kelsey said, nodding at whatever shocked look Evie was wearing on her face.
“Well, fuck me! That means he was always in love with Aly!” she whispered furiously as Kelsey smirked and shrugged.
“I mean I think so. Pretty sure everything he did back then was to get your attention, Aly. He just didn’t know what he was feeling because teenage boys are stupid. Almost as stupid as teenage girls,” she said, jabbing her thumb at herself. “Anyway, less juicy story – I ran into him a few years ago and asked if he’d seen you because you weren’t on Facebook anymore and you have like, no social media. And he said he hadn’t, but he heard you were doing good and that was all that mattered to him. The end,” she said, giving another shrug as if to say sorry that was boring.
I shook my head as if to say it wasn’t.
Because for some reason, that story resonated more with me than the other one. Or maybe just as much. I wasn’t entirely sure why, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it even as Evie engaged Kelsey in a discussion of her brand new theories about Emmett.
I was still thinking about it even after the lunch rush, so while Evie and Kelsey chatted at the bar, I excused myself to the office to go back on Facebook. I sank into my chair, kicked off my shoes, and hugged my knees to my chest as I forced myself to return to my inbox and finally open Emmett’s message from ten years ago.
Hey.
I know you’re not gonna read this because you haven’t read any of my messages but you haven’t blocked me yet either so whatever. I don’t really have anything important to say. It’s just Sunday and we’re all at my parents house in the city for the wake, and everyone just left but your mom and dad are still here.
Your mom said you were sorry you couldn’t make it because school’s been crazy but she made a “yea we both know she’s lying” face which would’ve been funny if it didn’t kind of feel like shit.
But I get it, Aly. If I were you I think I’d probably hate me too so I get it. Please feel free to keep ignoring me - I’m just going to keep typing here though because it feels better.
It’s just weird being in this house on a Sunday with my mom and your parents because I keep getting up to look for you but you’re not here. And I keep thinking I hear my dad yelling for me to come downstairs but he’s not here either. Not really at least.
It’s crazy. Everything’s just so off and I feel like I’m going nuts, like I’m the only one who notices it or cares.
Mom hasn’t talked to Julian in days. I’ve never seen her like this before and I wish you could be here and see it so you could help me figure out if this is normal for what’s going on right now, or if I s
hould be worried. I don’t know no one ever believes me but I just have this bad feeling like it’s not over yet - like Dad is gone and everything is shit right now but there’s more coming and I can feel it. I swear to God if you were here you’d agree with me.
I really just wish you were here, Aly.
I know that’s stupid to say but I miss you like fucking crazy and I can’t talk to my friends about family stuff. They don’t get how we are but you do so that’s why I’m talking to you like this. You’re not actually here but you’re still better than them.
Anyway if for some reason you read this I just want to say again that I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know he was going to send you to boarding school and I already told you how I tried talking him out of it but that was three messages ago. I just don’t know how to fix things. Everything’s fucked up right now and I just want to talk to you because believe it or not I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day you left. And right now I’m pretty sure I need you.
Your parents are leaving now and I have to say bye but if you read this can you call me? Or just text me and end it with ‘don’t text me back’ and I won’t. If I’m not okay I just want to know that at least you are.
Miss you like crazy.
Emmett
37
EMMETT
I woke up Monday morning to incessant calling from Julian. I knew it was him because I assigned specific ring tones for him, Mom and Gram, and his was the sound of Ben Stein going, “Bueller… Bueller... Bueller?” I thought it was hilariously appropriate then, because I liked to tell Julian that that was what his big brother talks sounded like to me.
But this morning it was gnawing at my soul so with a groan, I snatched my phone off the nightstand and answered with an irritated, “What?”
“You’re still asleep?”
“It’s 6AM.”
“It’s 9AM. You’re looking at the clock upside down.”
“Why did you call three times in a row?”
“I’m at the stadium. I just had a front office meeting with Drew Maddox about his future with the team.”
“What are you telling me this?”
“Because he spent the last ten minutes trying to convince me to let him into your apartment so he could ensure you weren’t dead. Apparently he’s been calling you for a week now,” Julian said while typing at lightning speed in the background. “And you haven’t picked up.”
“I’m alive. I just don’t want to go out with him after the last time he dragged me to a club.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. Everything?”
Maybe my tolerance had gone down since I’d last gone out with Drew, because my one outing with him last week felt like fucking torture. I was completely bored and over-stimulated at the same time. The whole night felt like a revolving door of shots, clubs and girls who “just heard” that I’d gone through “a really bad breakup” and “that’s so sad – do you want a massage?”
“Vague,” Julian remarked.
“I can’t explain it but you of all people know that Drew can turn a normal situation into a crazy one in about two seconds flat.”
“I believe you. But you might want to enjoy the time you have left with him, because he might be traded soon.”
“What?” I jolted upright, making Ozzy jump.
“Don’t tell him.”
“What the fuck?”
“Trust me, I’m against it. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s going to go down as one of the best in the game, so know that I’m in his corner. I’m just letting you know that there have been discussions,” Julian said, holding the phone briefly away as he spoke to his assistant. “On the bright side, he said he’s been trying to get you to ‘look alive’ and you certainly sound it right now.”
“Dude,” I said. “Don’t trade him.”
“I’m trying not to. But do me a favor and pick up his next call. I can’t have him asking about my family during front office meetings.”
“Fair,” I conceded as Julian moved on.
“How are you doing this morning?”
I stared back at Ozzy for a second. I had no idea how to answer. I’d just had my first real emotion about something besides her, so maybe that was a good thing. But the fact that it was about my best friend’s probable trade wasn’t great.
“I’m doing,” I finally said. “Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet?”
“I find out tonight,” Julian said. I could hear a smile in his voice. “Sara’s been watching videos online about how people surprise their husbands with the baby’s sex, so I’m guessing she’s gonna pull some weird shit on me soon. I know in my heart it’s a girl, but I’ll let her do what she needs to do.”
“It’s funny listening to you act like you don’t love it… you giant fuckin’ pile of mush.”
“Yeah, you definitely sound alive again,” Julian said. “Anyway, I gotta get back to work. But I’ll let you know about the baby when I find out.”
“Thanks. Talk to you later,” I said, hit with that mix of both happy and sad when I hung up the phone. It was a combo I’d been feeling a lot lately, mostly because I couldn’t quite enjoy anything without wishing I could do it with her. I couldn’t listen to Julian talk about Sara without wishing I had exactly what they had.
I’d started trying the whole not-saying-her-name thing to see if it would help, but so far, it was almost making it worse. Honestly, despite the fact that I was faking normal a little better these days, it felt like I was at a breaking point. Almost a month later, and I wasn’t better.
I was worse.
So when Drew called tonight, I picked up the phone. And when he asked me to go out, I said yes. I’d survived the last time, and he could very well be traded next week, so it felt like I had to.
Though I probably should’ve asked before he picked me up that night where the hell we were going.
* * *
“Drew. There’s literally the same location of this place in the city. Why did we have to go to the one here?” I asked, still in disbelief that I’d gotten into the car without knowing we were headed for the Hamptons.
“Because this location is better. They pick all the hottest girls from their Manhattan location to work here for the summer,” Drew said, pointing at Iain as we headed for the doors. “Iain agrees with me.”
“Sure,” Iain said, barely needing to nod at the bouncers at the door before they stepped aside to let us in.
“Come on. Admit it. This place is awesome,” Drew said as we walked into the probably the last club on Earth that I wanted to be at tonight. The place was called Godsend and it was the same club where I’d found her at the start of the summer.
Aly.
Some girl had spilled her drink all over me on the dance floor, I’d gone to a bathroom to wash the stain out, and half a minute later, Aly walked out looking like a vision from my fucking dreams.
It was a memory I’d actually forgotten about since I’d made so many with her after.
But now that we were in this club, in the same place I’d first seen her again, I could see every moment of that night again. I could practically hear the sound of her breathy laughter from when I flirted with her in the bathroom, and within the first minute of sitting down, it was starting to tear at me.
“Hey, man, don’t make that face, alright? There’s a girl here that you’re really going to like,” Drew yelled over the music. “You’re going to think she’s awesome!”
“Right,” I yelled back. “Haven’t heard that one before.”
“Look, I promise she’s gonna be your type, asshole. I knew it the second I spotted her when I came here last week,” Drew said, wiggling his eyebrows at me in a way I’d never seen happen on his face. “She’ll be here in a sec. She’s just gotta finish with that table over there first. See her?”
I followed Drew’s eye line and let my gaze land on the bottle girl serving the round booth next to ours.
She had
her tray held up high next to her head, but I could see her high ponytail bobbing around while she talked animatedly with the table of guys who tried to play it cool around her. But I could see from the way they stared at her – from the way their eyes moved wildly all over her body – that they were fucking fixated. Shit, so was I. I hadn’t looked at anyone this way in what felt like ages, but her body was everything I wanted and missed. It was tiny and tight with perfect tits sitting high on her chest, looking like they could spill out at any second.
“See?”
I didn’t have to look at Drew to know he was grinning wide. He could see this girl had my attention and he was counting it as a personal victory. I would’ve turned to at least shoot him a smirk, but I was too busy watching the guy sitting closest to the her.
As she leaned over to pour their drinks, he tilted his head, hanging damned near out of his booth to check out her ass. Little shit. Looking was fine, but staring like she was a zoo animal was fucking excessive. I was a second from pointing out the dickhead to Drew, but just as I did, the girl lowered her tray.
And I processed Aly’s face just as the dickhead lifted his hand to slap her ass.
“What the fuck!” he yelped before I could even process what the fuck I’d just done. I had him by the collar and I could feel his weight in my grip, but I wasn’t looking at him.
My eyes were fixed on Aly in a little shot girl outfit that had me pissed off, turned on and feeling like my heart might jump out of my fucking throat.
Christ.
Those eyes. That mouth. Those tits and those legs.
She looked sexier than I had the capacity to handle.
I heard a thump and an “ow” as I dropped my handful of collar and floated over to her, studying every inch of the shocked look on her face. Fuck, I missed that. It was messed up and a little twisted, but I missed that stunned expression. I’d been staring at it all summer. When I said yes to being friends, when I caught her watching porn – when I made her come in the back of that car just by sucking her nipples.