by Brona Mills
‘Just enjoy it, Stella.’ He runs his free hand over my stomach, slips his fingers under my bra. He twists my hardened nipple, prolonging another jerk, and a scream escapes me. My insides contract around his fingers, the pulsing continuing longer than I thought possible.
When I’ve nothing left, he slips his fingers out of me. I feel empty without him. He lowers over me, kissing my neck and stroking my face. ‘If it’s alright with you, I vote that number three takes place when I’m inside you, and I promise to make sure you come before me.’
I laugh and close my eyes. ‘I don’t think I can anymore.’
‘Trust me, baby. I can get you wound up again before you know it.’ He tilts my face towards his and places a kiss on my lips. ‘You want some water?’
I force my eyes open and nod.
‘I got some wine for dinner,’ he tells me as he moves off the bed. I roll onto my side and shiver. David pulls the covers over and tucks me in. ‘Don’t go to sleep.’ He chuckles as I close my eyes for a second.
When I wake, the room is darker. Night has snuck up on us. A glass of water sits on the nightstand, an empty bottle of beer next to it. Shit. I stretch and bump into David, who sits crossed-legged on the bed, reading a book.
‘Oh. My. God,’ I say, my voice a touch too loud. ‘I’m so sorry.’ I sit up and hide my head in shame. ‘I fell asleep on you.’
David closes his book and chuckles. ‘It looked like you needed it.’ He pulls me into a hug and lies back against the headboard, tucking me into his side.
‘Our night of hot passion was so boring, you read a book,’ I retort.
He grins. ‘It wasn’t all boring.’
‘I’m sorry, David.’ I squeeze him. ‘I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of selfish sex. And now I’ve turned the tables.’
‘Hey.’ His voice is serious, and he ducks his head to meet my eyes. ‘We’re not going to be that couple who counts who owes who what, okay? I don’t play the tit-for-tat game. That kind of shit starts in the bedroom and works its way into every part of the relationship. Having the woman I love fall asleep when she’s exhausted isn’t something I begrudge. When do you ever get a night off from being a mom to sleep early?’
I force a smile and trail my fingers along his stomach, following the trail of dark hair lower. ‘I’m awake and full of energy now.’
‘I’d hope so. Five hours of snoring will do that to you.’
I slap him lightly on the abs. ‘I was not asleep for five hours.’ I glace at the clock. It’s almost eleven. My heart falls. I’ve slept away most of our first night together.
‘What’s wrong?’ He drops his hand to my ass and gives it a light squeeze.
‘I wanted this night to be perfect. We’re not going to get much time for the two of us in this relationship and I wanted to make sure we took advantage of it.’
‘We will.’ He strokes my face and runs his fingertips over my lips. ‘I cooked dinner. We can eat whenever you’re ready.’
I straddle him and his cock jumps as soon as I’m rested on top of him. ‘Think I have some business here first.’
‘So do I.’ He grabs my hips and pulls me forward to sit over his groin. ‘I promised you at least one more big one.’ He pulls me down for a kiss, and I shuffle back to pull off the last of his clothes, then I take his erection in my hand. My fingers don’t fully grasp his girth. He’s warm and smooth and rock hard and I can imagine what he’s going to feel like inside me. I stroke up and down, and around, covering as much of him as I can. I reach back and unhook my bra, so we’re finally naked in bed together.
I part my legs farther and he rolls us so he’s on top of me. He runs his hand over me and I’m already wet, waiting for him. His hips are between my legs and he pushes his cock against me but stalls, waiting for permission before going any further. I take a moment, relishing an offering that’s never been made to me before. My stomach flips, and I bite back a grin before I tilt my hips, opening myself to him. He slides slowly inside, gentler than I thought he’d be, especially the way he was finger fucking me a few hours ago. The sheer size of him has pleasure spiking. ‘David.’ I sigh.
‘You okay?’ He stills inside of me.
‘Yes, don’t stop.’
He returns to the slow strokes, taking time to match the pace with the trail of kisses he’s leaving over my body. Around my lips and the scar leading off to my cheek, down my neck and collarbone. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and rest my head against his when I realise he’s making love to me. My heart stops, and I have to swallow the emotion stuck in my throat. He tightens his grip on my hands.
‘Stella, I don’t want to stop doing this. It’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever done in my life.’ He continues the slow thrusts inside me. ‘I’ve been wound so tight for hours, I’m about to come, but I made a promise to you so I’m going to have to fuck you for a little bit.’ He sits up and drags my legs with him. Still inside me, he twists me to the side.
The new angle has me gasping. The sheer size of him thrusting in this direction hits right off my G-spot. I moan in anticipation when he rears back. He doesn’t disappoint. He slams into me, and the build-up to my third orgasm begins. Jesus, he’s fucking me sideways. Our bodies sweat and despite the slap of skin on skin, I can see he’s holding himself back, and his sheer determination to make me come again before he does is impressive. He runs his fingers over my clit and lightly twists it. The moment I start to tense around him, he quickens his thrusts and eventually stills, the both of us pulsing around each other.
He leans back on his heels and runs his hands over his face. ‘Christ.’ He falls halfway over me. An age passes before our breathing returns to normal and his heartbeat, pounding against my chest, slows. ‘Let’s eat in bed. There’s no way I want you dressed or out of this room.’
I find his hand under a pillow and hold onto him. ‘Fine by me.’
Two weeks later
Sunday, March 1, 1998
The sun shines on me outside Cici’s Boutique, but it’s Nathan standing in front of the store that has me sweating. My throat closes. Why the hell isn’t David here? He’s supposed to be my knight in fucking shining armour.
‘You’re not supposed to be back.’ No wavering voice, no tears or weakness.
‘Just thought I’d stop by, see if you and my child want to go on vacation. Spend some time together, you know?’ He swaggers as he closes the distance.
I remember how attractive he was the first time I saw him. I literally used the word swoon to my friend Sarah when he walked over to us in a bar. His swagger filled me with anticipation of what that body could offer. But now, right here, I see the monster that’s hidden behind a pretty face and a pumped up body that’s only used to make women swoon or fear him. I’m done with both. Now, I see the threat in that swagger.
His muscles come from steroid use, and someone once told me there’s no real power behind them. They’re just for show. I felt righteous knowing people could see through the facade—Nathan was weak. The only sad thing was it hurt like hell being on the receiving end of those fake steroid muscles.
‘If you’re too busy, we can always go without you.’
Ice runs through me. Where did Pamela say she was taking Max today? Nathan couldn’t have seen him, or he’d be there, watching and waiting for word to get back to me. In fact, he can’t know where we live, or he would have confronted me at the apartment.
‘I don’t have anything to give you, Nathan.’
He grabs me by the wrist and squeezes tight. I don’t panic as much as I should, but my heart beats faster in my chest and I look around the quiet street. In another half hour, the place will be crawling with tourists and shoppers. I only need to stay safe and out in the open until then.
I try to pull away, but he jerks me towards him. ‘Oh, Stella, you have a lot left to give me.’
A man down the street calls my name. Nathan looks over my shoulder, releases me, and takes a step back.
&
nbsp; I swing around, and Tony from the Chanel store and two other guards run towards me.
I caress my wrist that’s already aching and step away from Nathan. But I don’t run away. I don’t want him to see me flee. I don’t want him to know that maybe there’s a little fear in me. But fear is good. An appropriate amount of fear keeps people alive.
‘You okay, Stella?’ Tony asks, gripping his walkie-talkie.
Nathan stares at me but backs up and crosses the street.
‘I’m okay,’ I croak.
He nods. ‘I’ll come into the store with you and wait until your boss gets here.’
‘Thank you,’ I whisper. An appropriate amount of fear and an escape plan keeps people alive.
Cici wants to close the store and collect Pamela and Max at the playground. There’s no way I’m going to risk Nathan following Cici, so I tell her to stay put.
I call Tony, who tells me he pulled Nathan’s image from their security feed and distributed it around the guards in the other stores. No one has reported seeing him. It’s been an hour since Nathan scarpered away from someone his own size, and this is the window of opportunity I have before he gets confidence to return. I check the security cameras before I sneak out the service door, hop a bus, and wait for a busy junction to switch lines. I take off my jacket and leave it on the seat and slip a silk scarf around my hair that I swiped from the boutique on the way out. I left the price tag on so Cici can still sell it once I’m gone. Once off the second bus, I dart inside a coffee shop, watching the door from the ladies’ room. I wait ten minutes, and when neither Nathan nor anyone he might have sent to follow me appears, I cross the street and walk for a block, using the reflection from the store windows as a mirror to see behind me. I seek temporary refuge in a department store, where I browse the make-up sections. A little bit of my bitchy shopper days comes back to haunt me. I complain loudly about the lack of vintage colours in stock and tell the sales assistant to call me a cab to collect me at the back door. First I pull the scarf tight around my face, then slide my fake Ray-Bans from Chinatown over my eyes, muttering about photographers.
Back at the apartment, I throw the scarf and glasses on the couch and run to the boys’ room, shouting. ‘Michael, David? Are you here?’
Mike opens the bedroom door. ‘What happened?’ He grabs ahold of my arms, trying to stop me from shaking.
‘Max’s dad is back.’ I’m about to launch into an explanation, when someone moving in the room behind Mike catches my attention.
Mike sees me staring and closes the bedroom door behind him. ‘What’s going on? Where is he?’
I explain about this morning, leaving out the details of how Tony and the guards probably saved me from being dragged down the street and bundled into the back of some crappy stolen car.
Mike leads me to the living room. ‘We’re going to sort this out.’
‘We’re not going with him. I don’t care what happens,’ I whisper. ‘I’d rather die.’
‘Stella, listen to me.’ Mike gently takes my hands. ‘We’re a team, remember? Trust me that we’ll sort this out for you. We’ll get him to leave.’
I lean back. How much can I tell Mike without exposing the crazy notion and possible time travelling David, who shows up older to make the father of my child disappear? ‘He left the last time when he realised I wasn’t getting an inheritance. He must have heard I was working in the industry again. I’ve been spreading my name around, trying to get you working.’
‘He assumed you had money because you’re working as my agent?’
I was trying to make a better life for Max, and I only ended up attracting Nathan back to me. ‘I need to pack. I need to be ready to leave.’
‘Leave?’
‘My mom will come with me. We’ll be okay, Mike. But if we stay, we won’t be.’
‘Stella. You can’t run. Let us help you.’
‘Do you have any idea what happens to boys who grow up around violence? They go from hiding in the corner of the room, crying, to the one who hits their mother, their girlfriend, their wife. I won’t let that happen to Max.’
‘You’re safe here. David and I are here, and we’re not going to let him hustle his way back into your life. In case you haven’t noticed, I kind of owe you one.’
‘But he’ll expect to be able to drag me, kicking and screaming, somewhere else.’
‘We won’t let him.’
‘If he gets his hands on Max, I’d go with him. Of course I’ll go.’
‘He won’t get Max, I promise you. We’ll keep him out. Let’s wait for David to come home. We’ll talk it through. But, Stella, I think it’s time you are honest with us and tell us everything about him.’
I don’t want to leave without seeing David again, but if he’s not home soon, I won’t wait. I’m not going to take a chance when it comes to Max, just because I want to see the face of the guy I love before I move on. ‘I’m going to start packing,’ I cut Mike off before he can speak. ‘I’ll wait for David. He said he’d be back before lunch, but if I have to leave, I want to be ready.’
Mike’s face is stoic. I sigh. I don’t want him pissed at me.
‘Who’s the chick?’ I gesture towards the bedroom.
‘She’s a friend. She just got here. Actually, I think she might be able to help us.’ He scampers off to the bedroom. ‘Stella?’ he says before he’s out of sight.
‘Yeah?’
‘Don’t ever think you’re alone.’
My heart sinks into my stomach, like it’s lying at the bottom of a valley. I didn’t think I was alone until today. I expected DD to show up in a ball of white light outside the store, but he never did.
Mom and Max arrive home half an hour later, and Mike emerges from his room alone. Great, now this chick is staying the whole day.
‘Hey, bud.’ Mike gives Max a high-five.
‘Can you take him to my room to watch a movie?’ I ask Pamela.
‘Of course. Come on, Max. Mommy has some packing to do and then we might go on vacation somewhere.’
Mike waits until my bedroom door is closed. ‘I told you we’ll help you. You just have to sit tight. I’m going to get David, and we’ll come straight back here, okay?’
‘I’m packing. Then I’ll take it from there.’
Once Mike is gone, I gather backpacks and lay them on the couch. Do I pack for good, or for a few days? I cross the room to the kitchen and open the cupboards. What do we have that’s packaged light? What about Max’s toys? He’ll need something. I abandon the kitchen and look in the green toy box under the living room TV. I lay everything out and see what will fit. I should make an emergency bag so if we get stuck, it can be the main bag with total essentials. I grab underwear, one change of clothes each, and GeGe, and stuff it all in the small bag. I fill another backpack with food and Max’s snacks. He’ll want his SpongeBob, too. I think I washed it yesterday. I drop the two full bags by the door on my way to the laundry room. I’m wasting time going back and forth. I need to do one room at a time.
Speeding up, I bang into the armchair and don’t stop to straighten it. In the laundry room, I gather Max’s clothes and a pair of sneakers. On the way out, I pick up empty water bottles.
Mike returns with David and I freeze behind the laundry room door, making sure no one follows them in.
‘Looks like Audrey’s not the only one who’s scared,’ David says as they walk in.
Who the hell is Audrey? Does he go around saving all sorts of damsels in distress?
David continues speaking to Mike. ‘What the hell do you know about Max’s dad anyway? Are we dealing with a total psycho-who-might-kill-us-if-we-get-in-the-way kind of ex, or plain old green-eyed monster jealous?’
‘Are either of those a good option?’ Mike replies.
Fuckers are talking about me like I’m not even here. Shit, they don’t know I’m here. I don’t need to hide from them. I stride out of the laundry room.
‘Stella, what the fuck?’ David yells a
t me. ‘Is there a room you haven’t turned upside down? You have to tell me what’s going on. Right now.’
I look around the living room and kitchen and see the mess I’ve made. If I’d been paying attention, I would have realised the place looks totalled.
Mike sneaks off to his room, a grocery store bag in hand. He doesn’t need to keep his girl hidden in his room. She could come out to the kitchen, you know. Well maybe not right now.
David leads me to the couch. He rubs his thumb over mine after we sit down facing each other. He sends tingles through me with his gentleness, like he did a few nights ago. He doesn’t speak but he holds my gaze, searching. I flinch when his fingers graze my wrists. He holds his breath when he sees the red marks already turning a shade of purple.
‘It’s not as bad as it looks,’ I tell him.
‘You’re not with him anymore. You don’t need to lie about how bad it is.’
‘I . . . I wasn’t. It’s . . . just.’ I drop my gaze to the floor, unable to look at him.
He caresses my wrists, and I close my eyes, wishing Nathan out of my life for good.
Mike comes back and sits on the coffee table in front of us. I rehash some details of the day for David, and Pamela and Max join us. We fill Mike and David in on our past experiences with Nathan and how we paid him off before. I leave out the time DD helped at the hospital—Pamela doesn’t even know about that one.
Mike is quiet until he drops a bombshell. ‘We pay him again.’
‘It’s no good,’ I tell him. ‘He came back, and he’ll keep coming back. He’ll take Max from me eventually, I know he will.’
‘We pay him a lot and get a lawyer to help us. We draw up some kind of contract, and he can’t come back into the country,’ Mike says.