by Brona Mills
‘I’m sorry,’ he says.
I move forward and touch his arm. ‘Don’t apologise.’
‘There’s so much we need to talk about, and I can finally listen to you. I’m not going to have a hundred different scenarios running through my head.’
I nod. ‘I understand, I really do.’
‘I was horrible to you,’ he whispers. ‘The other women. The snide comments and passive anger.’
‘We can talk about it tonight.’
‘I hope you can forgive me. I made a promise to you in the beginning. You told me you needed me to prove every day that there were still good guys out there, and I let you down. We were so good together, Stella.’
‘We were.’ I wish I could rest my head on his shoulder and inhale his scent, imagine that there haven’t been a hundred other women over him in the last ten years since we’ve been separated. ‘But sometimes, love isn’t enough.’ Once in my car I type the address the accountant sent me into the GPS and take a deep breath.
David’s shoulders sag as he walks back in the house, knowing I’ve ruined our moment. I watch his tense stance at the door, and wish I could wrap my hands around his waist from behind, and squeeze the reassurance into him.
I should remember the good things he’s done and not concentrate on the things I had no right to get mad about when we were separated. I should remember how he always took Max for the weekend when he said he would, showing up for golf lessons, and little league practice, and school shoe shopping. Prom photos at the house, and the time I panicked when Max was seventeen and never came home after a night out. How he texts me happy birthday every year. And he thinks I don’t realise, but every year on the due date we were given for our baby, he tries to text me, but never sends anything.
I put the car into drive and push the gate fob, remembering the first time I noticed the three dots indicating he was typing, appearing on my phone. I was about to text him about work, but when I saw he was typing, I waited. They kept disappearing and reappearing, like he was deleting and rewriting. I couldn’t figure out what would be taking him so long to put together, and then I saw the date at the top of my phone. It was an hour later and the dots were still randomly blinking. I called him. He was in a bar. It was eleven in the morning. I called Mike to collect him, and as his manager I was left with the clean-up of the scandal he left behind with a random girl in a bar in the middle of the day. There were pictures. She looked like me. I hated him for that. I had no right to have feelings about him with other women. That annoyed me the most, because in my heart, he was still my husband. And I knew the day would come when he’d forgive me, and I’d comfort him for feeling bad about everything he ever did to us. But now that day is here, I hate him for every woman he ever touched that wasn’t me. Because, in my heart I still felt like his wife, so in my heart, I still feel like he cheated.
It takes me an hour and a half to get through traffic to Lakewood. The GPS has me pull right to the drive of the property that Audrey bought last week. Her Mercedes is parked at the back of the driveway, which is nestled in between the two neighbouring houses. She has the car as far away from the road as she can get, with some packing boxes and building material resting on the bumper. If the neighbours saw it from the road, they wouldn’t think twice about it—she’s moving in after all. But if you’re trying to hide your licence plate, it’s a good way to be inconspicuous.
Despite the evidence of renovations about to be undertaken, it looks like she’s the only one here. I ring the bell and her footsteps travel to the front door. She doesn’t hesitate as she unlocks the bolt. At least she isn’t scared that someone is visiting her. Shit, who’s she expecting?
Her face falls when she sees me. ‘Stella? What the hell are you doing here?’
‘We need a chat, don’t you think?’ I cross the threshold without being invited, and Audrey closes the door behind me.
‘It’s going to have to be quick. I have some workers arriving and I need everything wrapped up to collect the kids. How the hell did you even find out about this place?’ she leads me down the hallway and into the kitchen. ‘Shit, does Mike know?’ Her face falls and she looks defeated.
‘No, I didn’t tell him. And I won’t. I just need to know what’s going on. Why are you leaving?’
Her eyes widen. ‘I’m not leaving,’ she snaps. She looks around the house. ‘Ah, shit. Stella, this is so not what you think it is.’
‘Then what the hell is it?’ I hiss. ‘If you’re in trouble, Audrey, you know I’ll help you.’
Her face softens. ‘Thank you, Stella. But this is a birthday present for Mike. That’s why I’m keeping it a secret.’
I try not to turn my nose up, but I guess I’m not as good an actor as I think I am. ‘No offence, but I don’t think he’s going to like it. No matter how many guys you have working on it.’
‘Not the house, smart ass. The money.’
‘You’re going to have to explain in full sentences, Audrey.’
The doorbell rings and Audrey sighs. ‘I have to get that. Put the kettle on. I’m going to be a while.’
I stay put while Audrey answers the door and two men shake her hand. She introduces them as the renovation foreman and building supervisor. They assess the hallway and I retreat to the kitchen to find the kettle.
I turn the faucet on slowly so I can hear their conversation. They move onto the living room, discussing best methods for finishing for a resale and their additional month turnaround time.
‘You told me it would be finished in January. I have decorators and staging booked and a bloody open house scheduled for then.’
Audrey’s flipping a goddamn house. Fuck. I’m relieved and feel stupid and emotionally drained. I sink into a dusty chair at the kitchen table and wait thirty minutes for Audrey to return.
‘Why the hell do you want money for Mike’s birthday, Audrey? You guys are more than millionaires.’
‘He is. But I’m not.’
I flash my eyes to read her face. ‘I thought you guys shared everything. No pre nup, no monthly allowances. Just plain old-fashioned what’s yours is mine sort of thing.’
‘We do. But let’s not dance around the fact that everything we have is what Mike earned. His fortieth birthday is a big deal. He works hard. He comes to bed exhausted most nights. And I wanted to be able to earn some money and buy him something big from me. Something that I worked hard for. Something I put in effort and sweat and worry and deadlines and could come out on the other end and give him. He’s given me everything. I just wanted to show him if I had the opportunity to work, I’d give him everything I earned too.’
My heart constricts a little. ‘That’s really nice, Audrey.’
She smiles. ‘I kind of hope the sentiment is something he’ll like too, ’cause I’ve got to say.’ She leans forward and whispers, ‘I should have come up with this brilliant plan earlier. This is costing more than I thought, even with managing it myself and if I don’t sell it, I’ve spent nearly a million dollars on a sentimental birthday present.’ Her stifled laughter turns into a snort and full-out giggles.
‘Don’t forget that everything you earn on this flip is taxed too, so you’re going to have to deduct nearly forty percent for the IRS.’
Audrey pinches the bridge of her nose and screams, ‘Fuuck.’
I laugh with her. ‘God, Audrey, what the hell did you want to buy him anyway?’
‘A watch.’
‘All this for a watch?’
‘This is so stupid. I should have just had the store hold it for me and then paid for it on credit card the day before his birthday. It would still have been a surprise.’
I take her hand. ‘Come on. Let’s go shopping. I’ll pay for it and when you sell this you can pay me back.’
‘You don’t need to do that.’
‘Kind of do. I thought you were running off and I feel bad.’
She sighs and follows me down the street to my car. ‘Thank you for coming to rescue me. Ev
en if it wasn’t needed.’
I hug her. ‘Any time, chica.’
‘I need to wait until these guys finish up. But I’ll meet you on Rodeo around six, okay?’
‘Perfect.’
I park outside Cici’s and head inside for a coffee while I wait for Audrey’s text.
She’s waiting for me outside Rolex. ‘You know you don’t have to do this. The store will hold it for me if I ask.’
‘Your husband would kill me if I let you put something on lay-away.’
She giggles. ‘He wouldn’t.’
‘I know, but it makes me feel better for splurging.’
‘I have it picked out.’ She links her arm through mine and skips through the door. ‘I saw it a while back and I know he’ll love it. Liam was looking at all these watch catalogues over at David’s one day, and this one caught my eye. It’s really understated and not too flashy, so he could wear every day.’ She leads me over to a glass display where the sales assistant is standing.
‘Can we see the light blue Oyster, in platinum?’ Audrey asks. Turning to me, she continues, ‘Seriously, it’s the classic watch with the presidents bracelet strap, and it has the day of the week display as well as the date.’ Audrey’s jumping around like a child in a candy store.
The assistant slides the watch onto the display board on the counter for us to view.
My heart stops when I see David’s watch placed on the leather board in front of us. Beat, damn it. Take a breath and start beating again.
‘I know,’ Audrey says. ‘Isn’t it just perfect?’
My heart hammers in my chest and I breathe in relief. Holding back the tears at the watch that once temporarily saved my life, I answer her, ‘It’s perfect. Wrap it up,’ I tell the assistant.
I hand over my credit card for the fifty-five thousand dollar watch and know I would have paid a million dollars for it to save Max and me from Nathan all those years ago.
‘We need two,’ I tell the assistant.
Audrey raises her eyebrows at me.
‘I missed David’s birthday. Someone should have bought him something, too. Forty is a big deal, like you said. Don’t worry, I’ll wait until you give Mike his, so I don’t ruin the surprise.’
She hooks her arm through mine. ‘I wish I’d seen you guys together. Even now, you can see how in love you both are.’
I smile at her, gritting my teeth under my lips.
Five months later
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Before I even open my eyes, I know it’s morning and I know David’s awake. Neither of us slept much. With Mike’s birthday tomorrow, and Audrey and David’s impending travels and car crash, rest isn’t something my mind was going to allow. Every time I turned in bed, he was moving to accommodate me and settle right back next to me.
‘What’s your plans today?’ he asks.
‘I was going to sit here and bite my finger nails all day. Might throw up a little. Haven’t decided yet.’
‘You don’t need to be nervous. This’s happened before. It always works out the same, remember?’
Hm. ‘Yeah, but no one has ever seen beyond tomorrow. We know what happens in the past, but what then? We have no idea if Audrey or you make it home safe. That’s why Mike is freaking out so much. That’s why you should be freaking out too.’
David kisses me on the nose. ‘I love you, Stella. That’s all you need to know.’
I turn to face him, the panic rising in me. ‘That’s not exactly a reassurance, David. It sounds more like a goodbye.’
‘It’s not. You have to trust us. We’ve been working on this forever.’
‘The last time you visited me, you weren’t sure if you were getting home. Something happens when you’re travelling to make you think that. Maybe you should stay here.’ My gut clenches. If he stays, he’ll be safe. And Max and I might be okay on our own.
‘There’s something you need to see.’ David tosses the covers back and gets out of bed. He’s pulling his underwear and pants on when my bedroom door opens and I pull the covers over me.
‘Hey, Ma, you up?’ Max opens the door and startles when he sees David one leg in his pants.
‘Shit. Sorry.’ Max turns around. ‘Still getting used to someone being in here.’
‘Max,’ I scold, and he hovers on the threshold.
David laughs while he buckles his belt and pulls his shirt over his head.
‘Sorry, I was looking for my black V-neck. Do you know where it is?’
‘Do your own laundry and you’ll know where everything is,’ I tell him.
‘Funny, since you don’t do yours.’
David taps the top of Max’s head on the way out. ‘Don’t be cheeky to your mother.’ The two of them leave the room together, and I grab my dressing gown and follow them downstairs.
‘I need to cancel golf this morning.’ David pours coffee and hands me the first mug. ‘I need to show your mom something.’
‘Urgh, you could have text me half an hour ago and I would have stayed in bed.’ Max takes my mug and groans as he lowers himself onto the bar stool.
‘Couldn’t. I was busy half an hour ago.’
‘Dude, that’s so not cool.’
I roll my eyes. ‘He’s lying.’ I nudge David in the ribs, and Max takes his coffee and paper to the living room.
‘Where are we going?’ I ask David.
‘Want to go see my really cool time machine?’ he asks.
Instead of heading for David’s car in my driveway, he tugs me to the end of the road and crosses the street to his house.
‘Shouldn’t something like a time machine be locked up somewhere secure, like oh, I don’t know, in your super-duper lab?’
‘They were until recently.’ David opens his front door and we step inside the mirror image layout of my house.
‘There’s more than one? How did you even move something that big without the neighbours noticing?’
David chuckles. ‘You’d be surprised what I can sneak in this house.’
‘Don’t remind me,’ I scoff.
David tenses. ‘I wasn’t meaning to be smart.’
‘I know.’
He runs his arm down mine, kisses my cheek and heads towards the stairs.
I follow him to his bedroom and into his closet. ‘You don’t have to apologise, David. We were separated.’
‘Doesn’t make it any easier, though, does it?’
‘Sometimes it did.’ I smile. ‘I knew I could call you all sorts of things in my head those times.’
He leans against the island dresser. ‘Do you know if we sold both our houses you could afford to buy your dad’s old house? It’s been on the market for a while.’
My heart hammers in my chest. ‘I did think about it last year when it first went up for sale.’
‘Why didn’t you say anything?’
‘Honestly, I was scared to take such a big leap. Max is hardly ever home, and Mom has her own place. There’s no need for such a big property. It would be buying something just to prove I could. And I decided a long time ago I was going to choose happiness over proving myself.’
‘You’re happy here?’
‘I’m across the street from you. It worked really well for Max growing up. Even now, when he’s home, he doesn’t need to choose between us.’
‘It could be something we could do together, after this is all over with.’
‘You’re going to sell your house, so I can buy the one I always wanted?’
His smile reaches his eyes. ‘If it’s something you still want, then yes. Or, you know, if you ever got the opportunity to buy it as an investment property, you might want to look into it.’
‘Ha, yeah, right. I don’t have enough cash lying around for an investment that size.’
‘But if you did, you should think about it. It would be a way of getting it back, without having to live there.’ He smiles and opens his safe in the wardrobe.
‘You keep the key to the place you’re hiding
your time machine in there or something?’
Pulling out a jewellery box, he opens up a watch with a cheap leather strap. ‘Kind of underwhelming when you see it.’
‘See what?’ I look closer at the watch. The face is covered in multiple dials, and interval measurements.
‘My really cool time machine.’
My heart skips a beat, and I watch one of the hands tick over a full second before my heart catches up with itself. ‘That’s a time machine?’
‘As close as we could get.’ David unfastens the strap and places it around his wrist. ‘We realised that we weren’t going to be able to build something that would actually facilitate time travel, so we opted to try something that can harness onto time and locations, and hopefully time jumps, like when Audrey leaves.’
We walk out of the closet and sit on his bed.
‘Will this make it safer for you? Bring you home?’
‘That’s the theory. You see—’
‘Give me the layman’s idea on how it works.’
‘It’s an atomic watch, so it’s the most accurate method of time measurement. The watch itself came with time zones and city locations already functional. It’s why there are multiple faces and hands. Liam and I upgraded it to take account of leap second jumps and have included some things Liam was working on with anchoring yourself to the earth’s core. So that when the earth’s rotation in time—’
‘You’re losing me.’ I hold my hand up.
‘When Audrey jumps, we should be able to leave with her. Where we go will be determined by a few things, like where the universe wants us to go. Much like Audrey didn’t have a choice each year where she ended up. With this, we should be able to make sure we leave in the first place, and that we influence the time and locations to some extent. This way I can make sure I get to the right places to save you.’
I drop eye contact with him and look at the carpet.