by Rachel Dylan
She followed them to the door and gave them both hugs. She was fortunate to have them in her life right now.
Grace barked and Lily leaned down and gave her some rubs. “I know, girl. There’s a lot going on around here right now. But everything’s going to be okay.”
“Come on into the kitchen.” She motioned for Rex to take a seat at the kitchen table. “Would you like something to drink? I could make coffee.”
“To be honest, coffee sounds amazing right now. I can’t see sleep in my future anytime soon.”
She took the coffee out of the cabinet and put on a pot before sitting down across from him. “I’ve been thinking about the farmhouse photo.”
“What about it?”
“I wasn’t alone the day I went out there. Alison came with me.”
“What else do you remember about that day? Anything at all, even if it seems like a minute detail, could be important.”
Her head started to pound and the coffee couldn’t brew fast enough. “Just that Alison tagged along. We thought it would be fun and we actually brought Grace, too, and made an afternoon of it. After we got done there, Alison went home so she could get ready for a client meeting and Grace and I went to the dog park.”
“Do you remember talking to anyone at the dog park? Or did you notice anyone on the periphery, watching you play with Grace?” Rex asked, his brows drawn together.
Racking her brain for useful details but coming up empty, she sighed. “No. Nothing stands out in my memory.”
“A killer fitting this profile would like to terrorize. He’s probably been watching you for a while. He has to handpick his victims and make sure they fit his list of characteristics.”
Lily reached down for Grace, who licked her hand. “We’ve got to stop this guy. I don’t like being attacked in my own home.”
“If only it were that simple.”
She stood up and got two large mugs out of the cabinet. “How do you like your coffee?”
“Just sugar, if you have it.”
She poured them both a cup and put his in front of him along with the sugar and a spoon. She drank hers black. “We have to outmaneuver him. Figure out what his next move would be. Isn’t that what guys like you at the FBI do?”
“It is, but like I said, we only have so much to work with. We’ve got video surveillance set up here now, but he has to know that. He probably won’t be so bold as to come back to your house. He knows we’re watching.”
She took a big sip of coffee, letting the warmth flow through her. “You’re giving him a lot of credit.”
“Serial killers are often highly intelligent. Never underestimate the enemy, Lily. I know this is a totally different world for you.”
Actually, he had no idea who she really was or what she was capable of. But her CIA past had nothing to do with the serial killer, and thinking about it brought her down. It was a dark hole that threatened to consume her if she let it. It was better to face this issue as Lily Parker, photographer, rather than Lily Parker, CIA operative. “I’m not underestimating, but I think we have to try to get out ahead of him.”
He crossed his arms. “I’m sorry, but I just have to say something.”
“All right.” She eyed him warily.
“Something is off with you.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Maybe it’s the fact that I was attacked in my home and then someone threw a brick through my window.”
“But that’s just it. You’ve been through some terribly traumatic events, but you don’t act like how I would think someone in your position should act under the circumstances.”
She laughed. “And how exactly is that? What am I doing wrong?”
“It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong, but like I said before, you’re holding back on me. The guns, the strategies, your reaction. You need to tell me what it is that I don’t know. Because even if you think it has nothing to do with the attacks, you could be wrong.”
“Believe me, I’m not withholding anything from you that could be helpful for the investigation.”
“Which means you are withholding something.”
“Don’t we all have secrets in our past?”
He didn’t respond immediately. “Yes, but some secrets are much more dangerous than others. I did a little digging on you. You haven’t lived in Atlanta your whole life.”
“No. I went away for college and then worked a few years in Virginia before coming back home. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“And what kind of work did you do after you graduated college?”
It was time to try to deflect. “What does this have to do with the case?”
“It’s not meant to be a trick question.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
He frowned. “But you still haven’t answered the question.”
This guy was FBI. If he put in the right calls and pulled a few strings her past would be revealed. When she’d been working for the CIA, her cover was as a state department employee. Even if that was all he found out, he’d have questions about any government work she may have done. If he was persistent enough, he’d discover the truth one way or the other. The question was whether she wanted him to hear it from her or get the Agency’s version of events.
He didn’t break eye contact with her. “Because what if there’s a missing piece of your past that somehow relates to the killer or potential future victims?”
“It’s just not so cut-and-dried.”
He leaned forward in his seat. “Lily, if you were doing something that might not have been on the proper side of the law, then it’s even more important that you come clean. I’m not asking any of these questions to get you in trouble. I’m only trying to protect you and other potential targets out there.”
She fought to keep any reaction from her face. “It’s not illegal. I can promise you that.”
“Well, if it’s not illegal, then why can’t you just tell me so we can move forward?” He took a breath. “Is it a profession that you’re embarrassed of?”
She hesitated for a moment, and he latched on to it, mistakenly thinking that he’d stumbled onto something.
“Believe me, Lily, there’s no shame in working odd jobs to make ends meet after college.”
“I think I’ve led you down a completely wrong path here.” What should she do?
“You need to come clean with me, Lily. Please.”
It was the please that got her, along with his sincere brown eyes. She took a deep breath. He was right. If there was even a small chance that there was a CIA connection to all of this, she had to tell him. Lives were literally on the line. “Are you really sure you need to know?”
He nodded. “Yes, I really need to know everything you can tell me.”
“Okay, then. There’s a reason I didn’t want the news to put out a story connecting me to the killer. I don’t want anyone to know I live here and what I do now.”
“Why?”
“Because I used to work for the CIA.”
* * *
Rex must be delusional because he thought that Lily had just said something that wasn’t possible. “Say that again?”
“The Central Intelligence Agency. I’m sure you’re very familiar with it.”
He had known some things about her didn’t add up, but being a spy wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Or maybe she wasn’t a spy. Maybe she’d had a desk job. “And what did you do for the CIA?”
Her blue eyes were bright as she fixed her gaze on him. “My missions were classified. As a special agent with the FBI, I’m sure you can very well appreciate the sensitivity here. But I worked in the field.”
“How could you not think your career as a CIA agent was relevant to this investigation?”
“
The guy clearly isn’t going after me because of my CIA background. My CIA life is over. It’s been over.”
“I didn’t say that the killer was someone in the CIA, but that expands the circle of connections you have in a unique way that we have to consider. How long have you been out?”
“Nine months.”
“That’s not that long, Lily. Why did you leave?”
“I’ve already said enough for now. I really don’t want to talk about the past anymore. I want to figure out how to catch this guy. If we can leverage my skills to do it, then I’m all for it. But what I’m not going to do is give you a play-by-play of my career at the CIA, not to mention the fact that I can’t.”
Lily was hiding even more than he had imagined. And he noticed something else. For the first time he saw pain in her eyes. Something bad had happened to her while she was at the CIA, and she didn’t want to talk about it or perhaps couldn’t. “Can you at least tell me what geographic regions of the world you worked?”
“Primarily Europe. I’m fluent in both French and German.”
He was impressed. This woman was not only smart, beautiful and tenacious—she was dangerous. He’d heard many stories about field operatives with the CIA. They were tough and even deadly when they had to be. “We can’t rule out that the killer is somehow connected to someone you knew while at the CIA, or that there’s a possible link between someone in your CIA past and the other victims.”
“Do you realize how many people I came into contact with at the Agency? That would be quite an expansive list spanning the entire world. I realize you want to be thorough, but I doubt that anyone I dealt with knows any of the victims.” She let out a breath.
“You’re probably right about that point, but we can’t discount the possibility that there could be a common link between the victims. So I’m still going to need names of people you associated with.”
“All right. I’ll make a list.”
“And you aren’t going to like my next question, either, but I have to ask it.”
“Go ahead.”
“Are you currently seeing anyone?”
“You mean like a boyfriend?”
“Yes,” he replied.
She looked down at her coffee cup. “No. There’s no one.”
“What about your exes? I’ll need to run them down, starting with the most recent.”
“The list is pretty short.”
“Still, I’ll need it.”
“Well, there’s only been one boyfriend of any significance.”
He nodded. “And what’s his name?”
“James Dexter.” She stood up, poured more coffee and handed him back his cup.
“I’ll run him down just to make sure he’s in the clear and isn’t connected in any way to the other victims.”
“I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.”
“Why not?”
“He’s dead,” she said quietly.
He wasn’t expecting that answer. He reached out and touched her hand. “I’m so sorry, Lily. What happened?”
Lily looked up at him as a single tear fell down her cheek. “I killed him.”
FOUR
“Did you just say that you killed him? As in literally?” Rex looked into the big blue eyes of the woman in front of him. And even though she said she’d worked for the CIA, she definitely didn’t seem like a cold-blooded killer to him.
“I had no choice but to take action against James,” she said, barely audible.
“Tell me what happened.” His heart pounded as he waited to hear her explain.
“It’s a long story.” She looked away and then took a sip of coffee. She wiped the single large tear from her cheek, and thankfully, no more tears fell.
It killed him to watch a woman cry. He hated to push her to talk, but he had to explore every avenue when it came to his investigation. “I’ve got the time. I think I need to hear this.”
She nodded. “On my last mission with the Agency, I found out that James was working both sides. Basically, a double agent.”
This was only getting worse. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. She’d obviously gone through a lot. “So James was a traitor.”
“Exactly. And if you would’ve asked me to pick out someone on our team who was capable of selling this country out, he would’ve been the last one on my list. He was always so loyal, or so I thought. A real team player who would go the extra mile to help anyone who needed it. Now I can see that his attentiveness was really just opportunism, which allowed him to gain information that he could exchange for money.”
“That’s the way people like that work, Lily. They are master manipulators. That’s how they can get away with it for so long. The FBI also has its fair share of traitors. It makes me sick.”
“Well, imagine how it made me feel,” she said in a raspy voice. “This was my boyfriend. Someone I thought I was potentially going to marry. The man I saw myself spending my entire life with. I don’t think I have to spell out how much that hurt me.”
“What did the Agency think about your relationship?”
She shrugged. “We tried to keep it quiet. But I think they knew and didn’t care. There are a lot of romantic relationships that occur within the CIA, especially among field agents. We were both highly effective operatives. The most important thing from the Agency’s perspective was that we were getting the job done. We both had stellar reviews and were climbing up the ladder. There was even talk about one of us being promoted to the third in command at one of the embassy hot spots. Which would’ve been a feat for someone our age. James was only two years older than me.”
“So what happened on this last mission?”
“James wasn’t even supposed to be there. Not from the CIA side anyway. I was working by myself. I can’t go into the operational details of the mission because that’s still classified.”
“I understand.”
“But I was meeting with one of my assets, and James showed up. He killed the person right there on the spot before I could get the critical information that I needed from them. It was in that moment that I knew he was working both sides. The realization hit me like a sledgehammer. I’ll never forget that exact moment as long as I live. Talk about life changing.”
“So you killed him in self-defense,” he said softly.
She nodded. “I could say it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but honestly in that moment it was a pure survival reflex. I knew he was about to pull the trigger. He’d just killed my asset, and then he turned and pointed the gun at me. So I did the only thing I could do. I got the shot off before he could shoot me first.”
He reached out and grabbed her hand. “Lily, no one should have to go through something like that.”
“It was the lowest point of my life. Then I had to go back to the Agency and explain the entire situation. Literally over and over again. I was polygraphed three times by three different examiners. I was put on leave during the internal investigation. All of James’s subterfuge came out, but it was a long and difficult process. And because of our relationship and the way things ended, I was also considered a security risk. So they had to make absolutely sure that I wasn’t a double agent, too.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“At the end of the day, my name was completely cleared. But the damage was already done as far as I was concerned. I never went back to work, even after they told me I could. I left the Agency and moved here to my hometown. Started my photography business. A totally new and fresh start doing something radically different.”
He had never met anyone like Lily before. Most people would’ve crumbled under the pressure and stress of such an ordeal, but she’d chosen to go after another dream instead. “That was a very brave move.”
She laughed. “Some wo
uld call it more cowardly than brave. I did run away from my troubles. Instead of continuing with my CIA career, I just cut my losses and left it all.”
“No, you made the best decision you could make for yourself at the time. You had to deal with James’s betrayal, not only as a CIA agent but also on a personal level. Those things don’t just resolve themselves easily. No one could question your motives for leaving.”
“It sounds as if you speak from experience.”
“Well, it was nothing like what you went through, but I have been betrayed before by someone I cared for.” He paused. This wasn’t the time to talk about the problems of his past. He wanted to focus on her. “But enough about me. I appreciate you telling me all of this. I know it wasn’t easy, but now I have a better understanding of your background and all you’ve dealt with as you transitioned from the Agency to your new life here in Atlanta.”
She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. “And now you can see why I don’t want to be in the news. There are people who would want to harm me if they knew I was an easy target sitting here in Atlanta.”
“You mean foreign agents?”
“Yes. I made a lot of friends while on the inside, but I made my share of enemies, too. It’s all part of the job. Also, it’s possible that the people James worked for would try to come after me if they knew where I lived. I’m not even sure exactly who he reported to. Just that it was a foreign government.”
“Which one?”
“I can’t say. And honestly, I’m not even a hundred percent certain myself, although I do have my theories.”
He was frustrated by all of the security clearance issues, but he understood protocol.
“I just don’t want any extra attention put on me,” she said. “It’s always best for former operatives to live a low-profile life, at least for a few years. Put some time in between themselves and the missions. Even if this weren’t happening, I’d still want to lie low. It’s one of the reasons I chose photography—in addition to really enjoying it.”
“I totally agree. There’s enough of a threat against you already without adding enemies from your CIA past. Even if the chance of any of them finding you and acting on it is small, there’s no reason to risk it unnecessarily.”