“Hey dad.”
He eyes us suspiciously. “Son, Kennedy....what's going on here then?” He points between the two of us.
I try to release his hold but he grips my hand tighter.
“Let's cut the crap dad, I know Mom filled you in. Kennedy and I are together now, whether people like it or not, that's how it is.” I feel the uneasiness of his voice, though he tries to be strong. His dad narrows his eyes at Cole and I try not to make eye contact with Mr. Peterson; the look he gives me is so intimidating. Quite frankly he scares me to death.
“Is. That. So,” he retorts.
“Yes dad, it is.”
“If you think I am going to stand back and let you ruin the rest of your life over some girl, you have another thing coming boy! You could really make something of yourself.”
“And I will, Dad!” Cole is shouting now, the tension in the room is thick. “Just because I choose to love someone doesn't mean I'm going to end up a failure!”
Mr. Peterson laughs out with a loud huff, “Love? What the hell do you know about love? You don't even know the meaning of the word Cole. Oh and the baby! What are you planning on doing? Play daddy to a child that's not even yours?” he growls out.
I drop my head at his cruel words. He’s right; I guess that's why it hurts so much.
“That's right, I will play dad if that's what it takes to have Kennedy in my life; I'll do it! Whatever it takes, I will make this work.”
“You cannot be serious right now! This will never work between you two! You need to get your heads out of the clouds and into the real world!”
“Come on Ken, let's get outta here.” He pulls me towards the stairs and shouts back to his father, “I will speak to Mom when she gets back, I can see there will be no getting sense from you today.”
“Watch your mouth boy,” his father growls at us as we make our speedy exit up the stairs.
“Who does he think he is, saying those things to me?” he speaks through clenched teeth while pacing his bedroom. “Please don't pay him any attention Kennedy; he's always been this way. I know my Mom is more understanding, she will understand baby.” He hooks his finger under my chin pulling my mouth to his and we are kissing again, deeply and passionately. As we part he looks at me, “That feeling is all I need to know that our decision is the right one, I don't think I could wake up knowing I will never get to feel that again.”
“I feel exactly the same Cole. There have been times in my life where I no longer wanted to live, but now you are the reason I live; the reason I wake up and my heart skips a beat. I never knew feelings like this existed.”
He lays me back gently onto the bed, stroking my hair. “I love you so much Ken.”
“I love you too Cole. You save me. Every single day you save me from the nightmares and the memories of the past, I will love you forever for that.”
We lay there in our warm embrace for what seems like forever; at least I hope it will be forever. I want that with him.
I hear the buzzing of Cole’s alarm and we both stir at the sound. Shit! We both fell asleep on his bed. This is by far the best night's sleep I've had in months.
I race out of the room, hoping no one sees me as I make my way into my bedroom. I look through the clothes hanging in the closet and pick out a floaty, floral dress, a cardigan and a pair of pink flats. I lay them out on the bed and run over to the bathroom hoping to beat Cole to first use of the shower. I push gently on the door and it opens. As I peer in, I stop dead in my tracks. I catch a glimpse of the back of Cole as he is about to enter the shower, steam billowing out of the shower stall. I gently try to close the door, but I hear him say my name.
“Ken.”
“Yeah?”
“Come in, lock the door.” I step into the bathroom and secure the door with the lock. My mouth falls open at the sight of Cole standing in front of me stark naked. This man is a total Adonis. Every one of his muscles perfectly defined. He waves me over and I have no idea where to look!
As I stand in front of him, he loosens the tie on my robe; slowly lowering it off my shoulders and down my arms, it falls to the floor in a pool around my feet, leaving me naked. I shift under his gaze and glance over to the mirror above the sink. For the first time, I notice the tiny bump that has appeared. I throw my hand over my stomach, frantically trying to cover it. Cole sees my reaction and pulls my hands away.
“Please don't hide your body baby, you are beautiful.” He caresses my tiny bump, stroking his thumb back and forth tenderly.
I stumble as I try and find the words, “I'm not… I mean… it's just…I noticed my stomach seems to be a little bigger today, don't you think?”
“I think this little bump is just as beautiful as you are.” With that he leads me into the shower stall.
He takes one of the wash cloths and lathers it with gel; pushing my hair to the side as he starts to work the cloth over my neck and shoulders, making his way further down my back. I turn to him, water cascading over the two of us in this intimate moment. I take the cloth and do the same for him, working in circular motions over the planes of his muscular back. Every inch of him defined and a treat to my eyes.
We take turns washing each other; the action so intimate and loving, totally making me feel at ease. He gives me a soft, alluring kiss before jumping out of the shower. I continue to wash my hair, getting out only a few minutes later.
As I make my way across the hall, I hear the faint sound of music coming from Cole’s room. I rush to get ready, throwing on the clothes I laid out before drying my hair. The natural curl waves as my hair falls down my back. It has gotten so long; I think maybe I need to get it cut. I'll be sure to mention it to Abbey, I'm pretty sure she will be able to recommend somewhere.
As soon as I have applied the final touches, I grab my school bag and head down stairs. Cole is already there with coffee in hand, stuffing his face with the breakfast his mom has prepared. I hear them talking between themselves, but they stop as soon as I enter.
“Good morning Kennedy, sleep well?” There was a hint of sarcasm to her voice and my head dropped. The last thing I wanted was Jocelyn to think badly of me. She rushes over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Oh silly girl, I'm only teasing you, come here.” She pulls me in for a hug. “You know I think of you as family. I'm pleased you and Cole have decided to make this work; it's obvious you make each other happy. Ignore Mr. Peterson, he's a real grump sometimes you know, he just doesn't understand things like I do.
Jocelyn leads me over to the counter and I jump on to the stool beside Cole. She shoves a plate of food in front of me.
“Come on, eat up.” I lean into Cole, totally overwhelmed by the amount of food she gave me.
“Just eat what you can,” he whispers into my ear. I take a gulp of the fresh orange juice and dig into the eggs. I have to admit they are totally delicious, in fact the best eggs I've tasted in a long time.
“Mmm mmm, these eggs are good Jocelyn.”
“Not as good as mine though, right baby?” Cole eyes me and I shake my head, pursing my lips into a flat line.
“Sorry Cole, but these are by far the best I've tasted, like, ever!” Jocelyn looks over at Cole and bursts out into laughter. His face looks like a sad little puppy dog.
“That hurts baby. Right here,” he mock pouts as he clutches his fist to his chest and taps above his heart. I laugh and rub him on his arm.
“Practice makes perfect Cole,” I wink at him as he shoots me a sideways smirk.
Grabbing our bags, we head off to school in Cole's truck. We pull up and I spot Abbey and Ash standing outside the main entrance. I kiss Cole and make a swift exit, running towards them. Abbey throws her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug.
“Woah, woah, woah girl! You look totally rocking today!”
“Why thank you Ash, you don’t look too bad yourself.” I look at him, not quite realizing what the difference was. Then I spot it.
“You got your nose pierced again!
” I shriek.
“You like, my little Barbie?” He tilts his head to the side resting his hands on his hips eyeing me questioningly.
“Well it's certainly you!”
“What's one more? You're going to start looking like a damn pin cushion,” Abbey laughs out.
“Claws away Abbey, you totally want a piece of me!” he gestures with his hands
“Ugh no, I'll stick to Jake thanks!”
She links my arm and leans in, “I totally need to tell you about this thing Jake did to me the other night!” Oh dear lord, I'm in for a day of far too much information from Motor Mouth Abbey. Damn, it’s what I love about this girl!
School went by quickly, everyday pretty much the same. Our group of friends were getting closer and we spent most of our time together. Especially since Abbey was now officially with Jake. We would even sit and watch them at preseason practice on most nights after school. I love watching Cole play, he is really good and he looks so powerful and strong out there. Dennis still throws out the odd, vulgar comment now and then, but he was careful to do it when Cole was out of ear shot. I know Cole is waiting for any excuse to beat the crap out of him, so I keep quiet and don’t mention it to him. Caitlin has been pretty quiet since the night of the party and I'm praying I have seen the last of her.
This morning is the day of my ultrasound, and I am so excited. I’m anxious to see the baby for the first time. Cole drove us to the hospital, and I can tell that he is nervous; he hasn’t stopped tapping his leg the whole time we have been sitting in the waiting room. I touch his leg with my hand, trying to get him to calm down. I lean in and whisper, “Calm down Cole, this is the exciting part. Everything is going to be just fine, you just wait and see! We are actually going to get to see the little bubba on screen.”
“Bubba?” He questions.
“Yeah, that’s what I have been referring to the baby as. It seems more personal than just saying baby all the time,” I laugh out.
Cole reaches over and puts his warm hand on my stomach and rubs it slowly. I love it when he does that. The affection he displays towards me and the baby reassures me every day that this is most definitely the right decision.
It really makes me feel like he loves this baby as much as I do already. I can't even believe I considered getting rid of it, I know it will be a fighter just like me and I will do anything in my power to make sure no one hurts it. The nurse comes out and calls my name and I stand, walking towards the room. I turn to see Cole still glued to his seat.
“Are you coming?”
“Yeah…I just wasn’t sure whether you wanted me in there with you? You know, first time and all?”
“Of course I want you in there with me; I want you to see the baby too,” I say smiling at him. I know deep down that he doesn’t feel that involved yet, but I’m hoping when he lays eyes on Bubba he will fall as in love with the little one as much as I have over the last couple of weeks.
We walk in to room and the tech is sitting beside a huge machine with a screen attached.
“Well hello there you two. How are you doing? Are we ready to see the little one on the screen? I'm guessing you are the father?” She looks towards Cole. She was so chatty and friendly, totally making me feel at ease. Cole just stood there looking a little stunned and awkward. I tug on his hand.
“This is my partner,” I reply, not really knowing what the appropriate thing to say right now is.
“I intend on being there as the baby's father,” he blurts out. A little bit of me melts at his heart warming words.
“Ok, well, let’s get this show on the road. Kennedy right?” She asks, looking down at my file. “If you want to pop over to the bed and lie down, we can get started.”
I walk over to the bed, half excited and half scared to death, dragging Cole behind me. As I lie down, I lift up my top and turn my head to face the screen. The nurse places a large sheet of tissue paper in the lining of my pants, covering my clothing. Cole sits on the chair beside the bed and leans down, kissing the top of my head. I know his affection is an act of reassurance, I think he can sense when I'm nervous.
The ultrasound tech walks over and picks up some clear jelly, shaking the bottle vigorously.
“Ok Kennedy, this is going to be cold so try not to jump too much.” She squirts it all over my stomach, and boy was she right, it is cold. She picks up the handheld device and starts passing it over my skin. She maneuvers it over my stomach and I hear the most beautiful sound. 'Thud, thud, thud'. It vibrates through the room.
“That sound is the baby’s heartbeat. I am going to take a good look at baby, then when I’m finished I will turn the screen around and show you, okay guys?” I nod in response, fighting back the emotion of hearing the baby’s heart beat for the first time. I look to the side and catch a glimpse of Cole. I swear I can see the glistening of a tear in his eye, but I can’t be sure.
The tech taps away on the machine, moving the handheld device from one side to the other, pressing to get to the positions she needs. After a short while she turns to us, “I think I got all we need Kennedy, your baby looks healthy, all measurements within range and normal.”
“I was worried because I'm barely even showing, are you sure the baby is big enough?”
“Everything is perfectly normal, like I said, within range; heartbeat is very strong as you heard at the beginning of the scan. Would you like to see your baby?” I nod excitedly in response; I just couldn’t wait to get a peek at Bubba.
The whole experience feels surreal, seeing the baby is finally going to be what I need to make this seem like a reality.
The ultrasound tech turns the screen towards us with one hand while moving the handheld device with the other.
The first image visible on the screen is a tiny face. “So here is the little one’s face,” she explains pointing to the screen, “and if we move over here, we can see two little arms. Uh oh wait a second. Baby is deciding to move, cheeky little thing,” she laughs out loudly. I begin to feel a swell of tears, seeing the tiny little person inside of me. I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to fight back the overwhelming emotion.
Cole squeezes my hand before saying,
“Holy smokes, this is amazing! I’ve never seen anything like this… ooh look, look at the baby moving. Can you not feel it Ken? Should she not be able to feel the movements?” Cole’s words come out so fast he is practically rambling and I can practically feel his excitement. He’s holding my hand for dear life and is sitting bolt upright, practically leaning over me to get closer to the screen.
“It’s perfectly normal to not yet feel the baby move, but I would expect you to start feeling movements in the next few weeks. I will make a follow up appointment for you so we can check on the baby’s progress, especially after the bleeding. How have things felt since then, Kennedy? No more bleeding hhm?” She begins using the tissue to wipe away the excess jelly from my stomach.
“No, none,” I answer quickly.
“Can I ask you something?” Cole blurts.
“Of course, ask away.” I look over at him, my eyebrows furrowed with intrigue.
“Can we have sex? I mean… is it safe? You know, after the bleeding and everything?” He looks down at the floor awkwardly, now slouching in the chair in obvious discomfort of his own question.
“It’s just that the bleeding happened after… well… you know what I’m saying here?”
“Hmmm... I understand. Sex in pregnancy is generally very safe. The rupture in Kennedy’s case could have been brought on by the sexual intercourse, but was likely to happen at some point anyway. I can’t see any reason why you can’t continue to have sex, but I would suggest taking it slow at first to avoid any repeat of the bleeding that occurred.
“Oh right, thanks. Obviously my main priority is the baby, but I thought it was worth asking!”
“Of course, these are all very normal questions couples ask, I will get the receptionist to give you my phone number, so you can contact me day or ni
ght. If you are concerned about anything, just give me a call, Okay Kennedy?”
“Oh yes Ma’am, thank you.”
“Oh, just one last thing. Would you like to know the sex of the baby? I have recorded it on the medical notes, but most couples do ask. How do you feel about knowing?” She looks between Cole and me, searching for an answer in our reactions.
As I look at Cole, I see a stunned look written across his face.
“So you’re telling us we can find out the sex of the baby?”
“Absolutely my darlings. So, do you want to know? Kennedy?”
“Oh, yes, yes please.” I’m practically bouncing up and down at the prospect of knowing if my little bubba is a he or a she.
“You’re having a baby girl! Congratulations!”
With a look of elation on his face, Cole jumps to his feet, sweeps me off the bed and hugs me tightly while twirling me around in circles. I hook my arms around his neck, holding on as he continues to spin and let out a little squeal at his reaction. He stops and sets me down on my feet, resting his forehead to mine.
“Baby it’s a girl, a beautiful little girl who is going to be as gorgeous as her mommy!”
I’m lost in this moment of beauty; of this man embracing me, making something others would see as a freak show into something so special, so beautiful. This is why Cole is so easy to love, this genuine man who loves me, despite everything, and because of everything.
“Okay Kennedy, take your notes and hand them to the receptionist, I’d like to see you again in 2 weeks, just a routine check-up, it is all very normal for someone who has had bleeding.” She hands me a card with her details and contact numbers.
“Like I said, call anytime, there is even my email address on there. Oh and I nearly forgot, here is baby’s first picture.” The doctor hands me two crystal clear, still shots of the baby. You can see the whole of the baby’s body in the picture; the hands, legs, head and even the heart is clear to see.
“Oh Kennedy this is wonderful,” Cole gasps.
Cole thrusts his hand towards the doctor; taking her hand, he shakes rapidly. “Thanks so much doc,” he says as he continues to shake her hand. She pulls her hand away awkwardly, trying to release Cole’s grip. I laugh and shake my head as I pull him towards the door, thanking her as we exit. The receptionist hands me a card with the details of my next appointment and we make our way out to the parking lot.
Beautiful Broken Girl (Broken Girl series Book 1) Page 19