by Thomas Rath
Thane just stared unable to contain the tears that welled up in his eyes. “Oh, Jack, no.”
Jack looked at him, sadness touching his face. “Well, if you can’t forgive me I guess I understand.”
Thane shook his head quickly a slight smile breaking through his gloomy face. “No, Jack, it’s not that,” he managed chuckling through the tears.
Jack stared at him blankly, not seeing what was suddenly so humorous when he’d just poured out his heart to apologize. Thane reached up and grabbed Jack’s shoulder suddenly bending over in a fit of laughter. “Well, I’m glad to see you’re so amused about the whole thing,” Jack said with a touch of irritation. “I expose my heart completely to you, trying to ask your forgiveness and you fall over laughing.”
Thane looked up again, the tears still falling from his face but whether from sorrow or amusement, Jack could not tell. “I’m not amused, Jack,” he managed through another fit of laughter, “I’m very sad.”
The look on Jack’s face sent Thane over the edge again doubling him over in waves of amusement.
“Is this how Chufa express sorrow?” Jack asked with obvious concern in his voice.
It was long minutes before Thane could gain control of himself enough to speak. Jack, feeling like a dolt and uncertain as to what he should do, just stood there and waited. Finally, to Jack’s greater dismay, Thane reached up and hugged him. “I’m sorry, Jack,” he said breathlessly wiping the tears from his face. “I do not blame you for what happened with Dor.”
“You don’t?”
“Of course not. You had nothing to do with it.”
Jack brushed his fingers through his unruly hair. “Well, you haven’t said a word all day and your face was sagging so much I thought the horse might trip on it. I just figured you blamed me.”
Suddenly realizing what he must have put Jack through this whole day, his face dropped.
Seeing the change, Jack roared, “Now, don’t start with that again. What happened to the laughing and all? Seless’ sacred doors Thane, what has gotten into you?”
Thane felt the laughter trying to take control again but pushed it back while trying to explain. “I’m sorry Jack. I have been unkind this day in how I have been acting. Believe me when I say that I do not blame you in the least bit for what happened with Dor. I’ve been trying to come to grips with it this whole day but it does nothing but tear at my heart. You must understand Jack that Dor has been a part of me since birth. He is the only one, besides my mother, who ever showed me any kindness. He is my best friend and because of me he was almost killed. And now he’s gone, thinking I have betrayed him. In a way, I guess I have.”
Jack’s features softened a bit and took on the look of a father who just found his son hurt by the town bully. Although he wanted to help, wanted to reach out and comfort him, Jack didn’t say anything, knowing it best that Thane work through it on his own. Only then could he truly heal and feel good about himself.
Thane looked at the ground and then looked up again with the hint of a smile. “I’m sorry about the laughter. You must think me mad. I couldn’t help it though. The look on your face was too much.”
Jack snorted, grabbing the reins of his horse. “I don’t see what is so funny about me feeling bad and thinking it my fault you have been a mass of brooding clouds all day.”
Thane stared at his friend wondering if he may have hurt his feels but caught the wisp of a smile on his face as he climbed onto his horse.
“I think you underestimate yourself, and your friends, Thane,” Jack said as he settled himself into his saddle. “You will never really be free until you see both as they truly are.” Turning his horse about, he kicked it into a gallop leaving Thane to ponder his words.
Jack pushed them hard the rest of the day taking them well past sundown before stopping at the top of a large hill to make camp. Thane wondered what was driving Jack so fiercely. Obviously they had to get Tam back, but he couldn’t help but feel that there was something more.
Both fell into the chores of setting up camp without much conversation. The night was clear, the clouds having been chased away long ago by the building wind, leaving a sky filled with brilliant pinpricks of light. After tending his horse, Thane quickly drew fire from the few small branches Jack had been able to gather and both sat close trying to draw as much heat as possible into their fast cooling bodies. Erl disappeared and both new they probably would not see the giant wolf again until morning. Jack produced a small pot, which he used to warm the last of his water mixed with some dried venison and a few wild carrots Thane had found earlier. In no time both sat comfortably, sipping their venison soup while staring into the fire that danced seductively casting a hypnotic spell upon the weary travelers.
“Why are you helping me?” Thane suddenly asked, disrupting the gentle quiet that had fallen in a hush around them.
Jack looked up as if he’d just been wakened from a deep sleep. “What?”
“Why are you helping me, Jack? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all you have done and all you are doing for me, but why? Why are you putting your head on the block to help me?”
“Isn’t that what friends do for one another?” he replied, looking into his empty bowl as if he couldn’t believe it was gone before rising to take more from the simmering pot.
Thane was warmed somewhat by his reply but felt that there had to be more. Jack seemed driven, as if a demon were at his heals ready to take a bite. He knew Jack was his friend but he almost seemed more eager than he was. He was going to press the issue but the thought occurred to him that Jack had lived in the mountains for many years with the trolls. Maybe he knew something about how they treated prisoners or some other bit of ghastly information that might cause him to push so hard. Thane felt a chill run through him. He couldn’t bear to think of how Tam must be feeling. Was she all right? Would they get to her in time? What would they do with her? His own experience with trolls and their ways pushed him to exhaustion the find Tam and rescue her. Oh Tam, you have to be well. You have to hold on. “Do you think she is still...?” Thane started in a whisper and then stopped. “Do you think she’s all right?”
Jack just stared at him, his countenance turning dark. His eyes bored into Thane with such sadness that it caught in Thane’s throat. “If what Dor said is right,” Jack finally said looking away into the night, “they must have some purpose for her and will, at the least, keep her alive until they reach their goal. After that...” he trailed off, his voice as distant now as his eyes.
Thane swallowed hard trying to force the lump in his throat back down. “What do you think they will do to her?” he croaked.
Jack’s eyes rounded on him, his expression sad, looking at Thane as if to measure his resolve, as if he needed to know if Thane could take his forthcoming answer without crumbling.
Thane stared back trying to steel himself. He had been in battles before; he knew the face of death and fighting. He could take what Jack gave him.
Jack’s breath heaved over his long beard causing the whiskers to wave in its wake. “Can’t say,” he finally said shrugging his shoulders. “I guess it depends on where they’re going and why.”
That was it? There had to be more. He was sure of it. Jack had looked as if the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders only moments before. Had he not passed the test of Jack’s glaring contemplation? He had to know more. The previous look on his face alone was testament to that. The worst possible thoughts rushed through Thane’s mind in a torrent of horror. What was he hiding that he felt he couldn’t tell him? Before he could ask, Jack placed his bowl on a rock and, after throwing the last bit of wood on the fire, bundled himself in his cloak and laid down, turning his back to Thane.
“Best get some sleep”, he muttered through a yawn. “We’ll be leaving before light.”
Thane just stared, the grip of fear for Tam increasing steadily until even the fires heat could not warm his icy, cold bones. Dear Mother of us all, please watch ov
er her. The tears welled again in his already heavy and burning eyes. She had to be all right. They had to get to her before...Thane felt himself fraying at the seams. It was all becoming too much for him to handle. He wished he could just make himself wake up and be home in his father’s hut curled up near his mother. His sweet mother. Another thing to tear at the weak edges. No, I must stop this. He stood up against the howling wind and gathered his cloak tight around him as a shield. I must stop this foolishness. I have been acting a coward and a fool. Tears fell across his cheeks and were blown by the wind back into his hair. She must be all right. She has to be all right.
He clenched his teeth as well as his fists giving himself over to anger. It burned through him at all the injustices that had been done to him and to those he loved. It wasn’t right and he would do something about it. He would have been a protector to his people. He must stop being a child and start acting as a protector would. His mind and body raced with the anger that surged through him lending him strength and resolve. I can do it. I must do it. But, how? He suddenly faltered as the thought washed the life giving anger completely away making him sink heavily back to the ground.
The wind pelted his face with what suddenly felt like a lover’s caress. The wind. Thane groaned within himself. Why must life extract such a heavy toll? It was the only way and he knew it. He could find her and know exactly how she was. He felt the self-hate building within him again. It was the reason for all his problems—the curse. But, it was the only way. He would use it. He had to. But for once it would serve him for good. A sliver of light brightened within him. Yes, it will serve me for good this once. This time it will not have me. I will have it to help me get Tam back.
His resolve returned, although a bit unsteady. He kept reminding himself that it was the only way. It was for Tam. For Tam. But how did I do it? He thought back desperately to when he had “ridden the wind” before. Hundreds of questions raced through his mind like how it was possible and if other Chufa could do it. He pushed all these back trying to concentrate his efforts and facilitate the process. Focusing on memories of his past experiences he retrieved what he felt was necessary. He needed to let himself go, give himself over to it.
Closing his eyes, he tried to relax. He could feel his natural resistance having spent most of his life trying to suppress or cover his abilities. This time he needed to bring them forth but now found it a struggle. With effort, he forced his breathing to slow and then stared at his feet making them relax toe by toe. Long minutes passed as he worked through his muscles running up his body, willing them to relax, willing himself to let go, to let his mind break away. He sent his mind out to the world around him; let it be stroked by the wind. He could feel the rushing air pulling at him gently, calling him to join it. He let his worries dissolve in the promised exhilaration of soaring through the night sky as if part of the wind itself.
Suddenly, he felt himself rise. All the cares and worries of the day were washed away as the wind gathered strength around him, lifting him higher and higher, shooting him into the night sky. Opening his eyes slowly, Thane took in the scene before him almost stealing his breath at what it revealed. The beauty of a countless number of stars filled his senses to overflowing. They seemed so close, he felt he could almost reach out and touch them. Glancing down to the distant world below, he caught sight of what looked to be a lone star flickering in the grass as if it had fallen from the sky and was giving off its last bit of life before it faded into nothing.
Concentrating on the small distant light, Thane urged himself closer. He could feel himself dropping, pushed earthward on a tremendous downdraft, as he drew closer and closer to the source of light. In seconds, he recognized the fire he had been sitting in front of only moments before. The flowing air threw his hair back as the earth reached up as if to engulf him. He quickly willed himself to slow and then finally stopped just inches from the ground. Righting himself, he could feel the strands of air flow around him as they twisted about keeping him in one spot. He looked at himself sitting before the fire as if in a peaceful slumber. It was all so strange and frightening. He could feel the wind falter a bit as the realization of what he was doing began to force its way into his thoughts. Thane turned away quickly pushing down his fear and calling the air to gather and raise him higher. Instantly he shot up, enlivening his soul with a sense of complete freedom.
He pressed forward, willing the wind to greater and greater speeds. Dipping down, he skimmed along the grass sensing it as it brushed against his stomach. He felt so alive. Miles passed in scant seconds as he willed himself to go faster. Lights suddenly appeared in the distance growing in intensity as the expanse between was hungrily devoured. Thane pulled himself up to a sudden halt that would have flattened him into nothing had he been in his physical body. He found it interesting that he felt only the slightest sensation from the abrupt stop.
Drawing slowly closer, he felt he must have somehow gotten turned around as the walls of the Fort rose up in the night sky. Could he have traveled back to Hells End Station? It can’t be. This is much larger. Haykon. The word jolted into his mind. It must be Haykon. This is where they were headed. This is where they hoped to find Tam and the trolls. Thane rose up gently. The whole fort was lit up with torches sending their light out to the darkness beyond.
He moved above the large stone walls and was greeted by hundreds of men hurrying about as if preparing for battle. He noticed some injured off to the side near the back being attended to by men wearing white armbands. The battle must have already been joined. But if that were true, where were the trolls?
He soared over the front gates and into the darkness seeking the enemy. Moving off to his right, he skimmed closer to the ground searching for any clues as to the whereabouts of the troll army. Soon, bodies began to appear in a mixture of men and trolls left strewn out upon the ground. Steam still rose from some of the dead and he knew that the battle had been waged not long before. But where are the trolls. They wouldn’t leave the Fort until it fell or until they were beaten.
He willed himself higher into the night air away from the abhorrent scene below. Quickly gaining altitude, he searched the world beneath looking for any signs that might lead him to the troll army and Tam. He immediately found what he was looking for farther to the west. Hundreds of bright, tiny lights lit the night like a beacon leaving no question as to where the trolls were camped.
As he drew closer his breath caught at the sheer force of numbers. Dor wasn’t exaggerating. Never in his darkest nightmares would he have ever thought up so many trolls. The torches seemed to stretch in an endless river of light heading straight for the mountains to the west. But why were they leaving? An army of trolls that size could have easily overrun the fort.
Suddenly something scratched at the edge of his mind. It was something familiar. It was almost like a whispered caught on the wind. Thane cocked his head as if trying to listen but then stopped. It wasn’t a voice; it was more like...like a piece of him? Calling the wind at his back, he pressed forward at a moderate speed while trying to decipher what it was he was feeling. Passing over the teeming army, the sensation continually grew stronger until he felt he could pinpoint its exact location in the mass of confusion below. Then it hit him. Of course! He finally understood. Tam!
Gathering more wind, Thane willed himself forward with a quick burst. The sense was like a rope pulling at him as it drew him closer to the mountains. As he neared the rocky walls of the great barrier, he noticed what appeared to be a tiny crack that cut straight up the mountainside creating a slender breach where the line of torches narrowed and then spilled through.
Just inside the gap. He knew that was where he would find her. Arching down, he headed straight for the dark line that outlined the pass keeping just above the wind whipped torchlight. His sense of Tam grew stronger as he quickened his pace in a gust that made the torches flicker angrily as he passed over. His heart leaped at the thought of seeing Tam again. He knew she had to still be a
live. How else could he have detected her presence?
All sense of his surroundings vanished as he reached the mountain pass and focused his mind completely on Tam’s location. She was right there in front of him just yards away. He knew it. He could feel her as if she were a beacon of light drawing him in.
Slowing slightly, he pushed forward to enter and was shocked to discover a sudden wall of resistance that absorbed his velocity in scant moments before forcing him back in a tumbling mass of flailing arms and legs. What was that! Righting himself quickly, he called back the faltering wind, wrapping it like a cocoon around him, and hovered motionless a short distance from the mountain pass. Something must have stolen his air current, but what? And how? He scanned the entrance looking for any clue that might answer his questions and allow him passage to Tam.
After long minutes without the slightest evidence of cause, he decided to try again but with a bit more caution. Gathering the wind’s strength, he pushed forward matching the agonizingly slow pace set by the trolls below. Trying to ignore Tam’s distancing presence, Thane continued his vigil of the mountain pass in the slight hope that something might present itself and give him an answer before he reached the gap.
Preparing himself, he again approached his goal and attempted to enter. Pushing his hands out, he could feel the resistance and stopped, hovering, as the heads of trolls and their waving torches passed beneath. It didn’t make sense. What could stop the wind like that? He jerked as a high held torch passed through him eating up some of his air and stuffing his nose with smoke. Cursing silently, he lifted himself higher and glared at the torch now bobbing into the pass as it fought for life against the gust rushing out from the mountain corridor. He watched as another torch passed beneath taking up the same dance as its predecessor as it too entered the pass against the wind that tried to douse its flame. Of course! What else could stop the wind but a stronger gust being funneled against it?