Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3)

by Natalie Barnes

  Shaking my head lightly at him, I giggle.

  “Frankie, I’m pretty sure that I have exceeded my daily fitness requirement today.”

  Frankie gasps, then tsks me.

  “I bet you did.”

  I roll my eyes at him. He starts dabbing my skin again and goes on.

  “I’m sure with Tristan staying on your bus now, it’s been nothing but a non-stop fuck-a-thon.”

  “Jesus, Frankie.”

  I push against his shoulder; he pulls away from me slightly, giggling himself.

  “What?” He shrugs. “It’s the truth.”

  Yeah, it is. Shivers run through me at the thought of Tristan’s hands and mouth all over me. Fuck. Frankie goes on getting me “beautimous” as he would say. We make small talk here and there for a while about the tour and who his newest eye candy is.

  When Frankie is done with me, I check myself out. He has me in black shorts with the shredded black tights and unlaced black boots that go up to mid-calf. I’ve got my smoky eye going on.

  This seems to be my usual thing, only now I’m wearing a different black corset. Frankie must have altered an old one because I have already felt certain pieces that were fitted for me at the beginning starting to get snug now.

  Sliding my index finger inside the top, I try to loosen it off my chest some. My boobs still fucking hurt, but at least wearing something like this shouldn’t get Tristan as pissed as he was when I wore a t-shirt with no bra. I smile remembering the dangerous look that was on his face. I love getting him all riled up like that.

  “Thanks, Frankie!” I yell over my shoulder. “You go girl!” he shouts back, laughing.

  My guys are right outside. I figure I'd better check on them. Laughter booms from a room that’s a little ways down the darkly lit hallway. The door is open about an inch. Pressing my finger on it, I poke it open.

  “Hey, boys,” I smile at them.

  They stop for a moment and look up at me, grinning back.

  “Fucking Sophia…”

  Roger throws his head back and laughs. Yep, he’s buzzed already. Sitting next to him is Jeff, who is sipping a beer. I shut the door behind me, noticing Matt standing in the corner, but Jared is nowhere.

  “Where’s Jared?”

  “He had to take a piss,” Matt says off in the corner, smoking a joint by himself.

  “Little bitch better hurry up. We’re going on in a few.”

  Roger’s laughter quiets down as he brings his red solo cup up to his mouth. Taking a seat across from Jeff, I lean back on the chair, looking down and pretending to pick at my nails. Matt comes up from behind me, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

  “Do you need anything?”

  “Nah, I’m good.”

  I look up and over at him as he walks around in front of me then takes a seat on the other side of Roger.

  “Ahem…”

  Roger coughs into his hand then rubs it on his thigh. Leaning over his knees now, he pulls off his sunglasses and locks eyes with me.

  “Do we need to do... Shit, I don’t know.” He shakes his head and shrugs. “Never mind, I don’t know what I was going to say.”

  Giving him a half smile, I fold my arms over my chest.

  “What, Roger?” I ask him calmly.

  He looks back up at me and grins.

  “Sophie, I don’t really know what to fucking do here, you know?” He shrugs again. “I mean, should you be taking it easy or some shit right now?”

  Chuckling at him, I look at the other guys just staring at me like I’m some kind of foreign animal or something.

  “I’m fine, Roger. It’s still me, and I feel fine. I’m pregnant, not sick.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  He nods his head more vigorously and takes another drink.

  “You guys wanna know something about me?” Jeff’s voice speaks up, killing the kind of awkward silence that was going on.

  “Not really,” Matt jokes.

  Jeff smiles to himself and finishes the rest of his beer. When he’s done with the last drink, he sets it down on the table in front of him, cracking his knuckles as he sits back. He lets out a low chuckle.

  “Well, I don’t really care.” Picking at invisible lint on his pants, he shrugs again. “Jeff’s not my real name.”

  Huh?

  “What, is that your stage name or something?” Roger asks.

  Jeff cackles to himself, scratching the back of his arm.

  “Nope. No stage name. It’s my middle name, actually. When I was auditioning for this band, I didn’t want to use my name, and honestly I was too stoned at the time to think of some fucking cool stage name to use, so…” he looks around at all of us, the corner of his mouth lifting up. “I just used my middle name instead.”

  “Don’t fucking stop there, dude.” Roger nudges him. “What the hell is your name, then?”

  Jeff throws his head back and laughs. This has me intrigued. Sitting up straighter in my seat, I wait for Jeff to finish.

  “It’s fucking Theodore!” he groans.

  Matt and Roger are silent for a second, looking back and forth at one another before they bust out laughing.

  “Yeah, whatever.”

  Jeff flicks the cap to his beer across the room. Trying to hold in my smile, I give myself a few seconds for the guys to calm down.

  “That’s a sweet name, actually,” I assure him.

  Jeff, or I mean, Theodore, rolls his eyes at me.

  “No, for real. That’s like Bill and Ted style,” I say, giving him a cheesy grin.

  “My friends back home call me Ted.”

  “See!” I throw my arms up. “You should’ve just put down Ted.”

  “Fucking Theodore,” Roger laughs. “Reminds me of those chipmunks.”

  Jeff laughs it off, scratching the small hair under his chin.

  “Roger is no fucking better, man.”

  “That’s a man’s name, dude.”

  “More like a janitor’s name,” Jeff says under his breath.

  Matt smirks at me before walking over to the door. It’s almost time to go on. Hey, that reminds me.

  “Fuck, where’s Jared?”

  I get up, following Matt over to the door.

  “I’ll go see if I can find him,” he says.

  He opens the door and takes a left. Roger’s still laughing, probably because he’s more buzzed than anything. Jeff’s name isn’t that funny. Cool to know, too.

  “Let’s go.” I wave my boys to follow. “Once Matt finds Jared, they’ll probably just head straight for the set.”

  “Fucking right!”

  Roger always gets so pumped before each show. I love it. I haven’t run into Tristan yet and he usually comes in and sees how things are going before I go on. I pause for a minute and scan the roadies and venue staff scurrying around us. As a matter of fact, I haven’t seen anyone from Undead. They’re probably all chilling in their own rooms tonight.

  My stomach tenses up for a moment when I realize Tristan is probably having the “talk” with them right now. Shit. I know, I know. It’s already coming out in our small circle, but still… it’s a little crazy wondering what they might think.

  Around the corner from the stage, Matt and Jared are waiting off the side.

  “He was taking pictures of the place,” Matt says, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb.

  “Taking fucking pictures… really?”

  Roger quirks his eyebrow up at Jared. Jared runs his hand over the top of his head, pushing his hair to the side.

  “I like to have mementos, okay? To remember this shit,” he shrugs.

  “Well isn’t that all fucking nice and shit,” Roger coos at him before bellowing with laughter again.

  “All right, all right.”

  I motion with my hand to settle Roger down. We’re about to go on and I don’t need our introduction to be Roger and Jared rolling around, trying to land fists into each other. Yes, they sometimes still do that.

  Looking
down at my ridiculous chest, I try to move the snug corset over me just a tad. It has soft boning in it so it’s not like it’s putting pressure on my belly or anything, but my boobs are another story. I hope it’s not like this for the whole pregnancy, because that would suck. I would rather feel hung over every day than have my breasts feel this fucking tender.

  “Guys, you’re up. Sophia, you got a few?”

  Steve steps up to Matt with his clipboard and his earpiece in. His long, dark hair is pulled tight into a ponytail. The lights dim even more in the already dark venue and my band looks like ghosts as they make their way onto the small stage toward their instruments. Light fog billows around their ankles as they set up, then begin to play our intro. Rubbing my hands slowly together, I let out a breath before Steve hands me the mic and I make my way on stage.

  Stepping into the red haze of light, I go right into wailing. Starting off heavy like this always gets my adrenaline going. When Jeff reaches his solo, I step up on one of my sound boxes and lean over the crowd, singing with full force again, losing myself completely in the song.

  When we’re finished, Jeff and Matt keep a steady rhythm going as I introduce us.

  “How’s it going, Milwaukee?!”

  Jeff does a quick riff on the guitar. Running my tongue over my dry lips, I pull my hair out of my face, keeping my hand on the back of my head to hold the pieces in place.

  “It’s good to fucking be here for all of you’s tonight!”

  Seeing the crowd’s excitement brings the corner of my mouth up as my eyes take in the people around the top of the balcony.

  “Show me your tits!” some dude in the front yells at me.

  Ignoring him, I jump off the box and start walking toward the other side of the stage, making it look like I’m feeling the crowd when in reality, it’s because of that douchebag. It’s not the first time some idiot has yelled that kind of shit at me, but now it feels different.

  “I would like to introduce you to the boys.”

  Grinning, I wink at someone in the crowd. With the lights blaring in my face, it’s hard to make out who they are.

  “This fine young man here is Jared.”

  I look up and over at him. He gives me a full smile back before he nods at the crowd. His perfectly styled hair stays in place as he does a little head bang for the audience. Placing my right hand on my hip, facing the crowd, I take a few steps back to where Roger’s set is up on his own stage behind me. I can’t hold back my laugh when Roger does this goofy ass beat behind me. Matt and Jeff still keep on playing.

  “Roger, everyone,” I gesture over my shoulder with my thumb, tipping my chin back.

  He spins his stick through his fingers, doing a mini solo to show off. Walking up to Matt, who is on the other side of the stage, I wrap my arm around his neck, hanging off his side. With the hand that’s holding my mic, I point at Matt. Before I can even get his name out, screams erupt louder.

  Matt has always been the “dreamy” one of the group, I guess you could say, with his jet black hair, piercing blue eyes, and tats. Shit, he’s quit the ladies’ man. Giving him a nod, I release my arm from around his neck and traipse over to Jeff, bobbing my head.

  “Last, but certainly not least… our man, Jeff!”

  I give him a quick wink. It’s hard to see his eyes with his long bangs in the way and his hat tipped forward, but he’s wearing the widest grin. His fingers glide over the strings with ease as he does his own riff.

  Running my fingers through my hair again, I head straight for the center of the stage.

  “Now tonight, I ask just one thing from all of you’s.”

  I raise my index finger, a smile dancing across my face. More screams and whistles echo around me. Twisting my wrist, I point down at the ground. My smile fading, I continue.

  “Tonight, whatever bullshit you’re carrying, or whatever’s pissing you off, I promise you,” I pause for a moment to take in the killer sight in front of me. “For tonight, and only tonight, I will make you all forget.”

  The corner of my mouth rises and at that moment, the boys go right into Obliterate. We hit them hard with song after song, not breaking at all. By the time our set is almost over, I’m breathing heavily into the mic and my hair is sticking to the sides of my face and back. Fuck, I’m out of breath.

  “Thanks for the awesome night, Milwaukee. Did I help you forget?” I ask teasingly at the end, with maybe a hint of sexy.

  Again, screams, whistles, and lights from cell phones scatter all around me. Holding my stomach with my hand, I giggle into the mic.

  “Right on, then.”

  I nod one last time and leave it like that. The lights slowly fade as music blares out of the speakers.

  “That was fucking sweet!”

  Roger pats my back. If it was someone I didn’t know, I would feel so embarrassed at my sweaty back being touched. But it’s Roger, and by the looks of him, he has a few more gallons of sweat on him than I do. Gross.

  Right when I’m turning the corner, a firm grip takes hold of my upper arm and instantly sends a sensuous stab to my core.

  “So fucking sexy,” Tristan growls in my ear.

  “Where were you?” I ask, keeping my back to him.

  “Busy.”

  Tristan runs his nose up the side of my neck, inhaling right below my jaw.

  “Busy, what?” I ask all breathily.

  “You’ll just have to wait.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tristan

  “Did you get a hold of him?”

  I wait for Lux to respond.

  “Yes, I did. Now what else is it that you wanted me to do?”

  “Nothing right now. I’ll get a hold of you later.”

  Pressing end, I slide my phone into my front pocket. I’m can’t stop fucking grinning. We’re about to do our last show in the States and tomorrow morning, Sophia and I are flying out early to head back to L.A. before the European leg.

  I haven’t really said too much to my guys yet, but I’m sure they’re probably catching on. Sophia still gets uncomfortable the more people who know about it, and she still hasn’t said a fucking thing to her parents. She wants to do it in person somehow, but I don’t see how that can happen ‘til after the tour is over. It will be too fucking late by then, so she’s just gonna have to call when we get back. Fuck, her mom probably already thinks I’m a piece of a shit, and I can’t fucking blame her for that.

  Scanning the hall, I push myself off the wall and head right for Sophia’s room. Frankie should be almost done with her by now and I want to feel my girl before she goes on.

  I’m starting to really notice little changes in her. We’ve played pretty much every night since Milwaukee except for one, and it’s starting to wear on her. Sophia tries to cover it up, saying she’s fine and performing even harder like she’s trying to prove something. She might feel weak, but she’s not. That woman is the strongest person I have ever fucking met; shit, even more than I am. Once Europe is over, my girl needs to take a damn break, especially since right after the baby’s born, we have to go off and start another tour a couple months later.

  Frankie’s high-pitched squeal rings out, sounding muffled through the door. Shaking my head, my lip curls up at the side. That guy is defiantly something else, but he makes my Sophia smile. Anyone or anything bringing that beautiful smile of hers out has to be someone pretty damn special to her.

  She’s a lot like me in that she keeps her circle small. I’ve never heard her talk about old friends or whatever, pretty much just her band who she didn’t meet until she started college. She just doesn’t let anyone in. I still can’t fucking believe I’m one of the lucky bastards she loves and that I’m going to be the father of her baby.

  I twist the knob, not even knocking before I walk through. I clench my jaw to stop grinning, but it doesn’t work. The moment my eyes land on hers, I couldn’t help but smile. I’m fucking smiling all the time now. Not saying that’s bad or anything, just something
I’m not used to. First time I started doing this was right when I left the studio after the first time I ever laid eyes on her. Now it’s amped up by a thousand.

  “Hey, baby.” Sophia’s eyes light up when she sees me. Goddamn, she’s beautiful.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask, stepping between her parted thighs.

  Frankie takes a step back, smirking at me. Sophia’s small hand takes hold of mine and pulls it up so it cups her soft cheek. Her eyes are laughing at me.

  “Tristan, I’m only a couple months. Pretty sure I still have a while before anything,” she hesitates for a moment, her eyes darting to the left, “uncomfortable happens.”

  Frankie does his stupid giggle as Sophia lets go of my hand. The corner of my mouth curls up as I lean into her, gripping the arm rests of the chair and getting right in her face.

  “I was talking about last night.”

  Sophia’s eyes dilate and her breathing hitches.

  Frankie gasps in the background. Shut that little fucker up. Pushing off her chair, I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for her to speak.

  Sophia shakes her head at me slowly, her eyes glaring, but I know that’s bullshit because the smirk on her face tells me she’s probably fucking wet now just thinking about it.

  “Gawd! I love you two’s dirty fucking mouths.”

  My eyes snap up to Frankie as he fucking fans his face with his hand. This guy is ridiculous! I raise my left eyebrow up at him. Sophia looks over her shoulder at him.

  “Frankie. Go.”

  He looks at Sophia for a moment, then his face splits with a grin. Twirling a piece of his blond hair between his fingers, he looks from Sophia, to me, then back to her.

  “Okay.”

  We both wait there for a second because he always has to get some stupid little last word in.

  Biting his lip, Frankie leans over Sophia and grabs onto some black bag. It kind of looks like a purse. Frankie slides the straps up his arm so they rest on his shoulders. What the fuck? It is a fucking purse. Jesus, this guy. Sophia notices me giving Frankie’s “purse” the eye. A wide, knowing grin lights up her face.

  “Bye, bitch.”

  Frankie kisses her on top of her head. Sophia smiles up at him, closing her eyes when he kisses her.