“What? You didn’t think I would miss my Dollar Settlement’s first gig at Download, did ya?” he winks.
Smiling, I take him in. Still Lux. He may be the only person here that’s wearing a full suit. But Lux can get away with that, he just has this Sam Elliot vibe about him. Gawd, he was and always will be a good looking old timer, too.
“Ready, Sophia?” Lux asks me, his eyes warm.
He’s like a second dad to me. Nodding, I slowly step out of Tristan’s hold.
“Well, then… get your cute ass out there and ‘give ’er,’” he air quotes, using Roger’s words.
I laugh, then look back at Tristan. Right as I am just about to step out, Tristan reaches for my hand, stopping me. He gives me his panty-wetting, crooked grin.
“Don’t fuck up,” he says.
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you, too.”
That’s kind of our fucked up way of saying ʻI love you’. Staring up at him, with my band beginning to play behind me, I step up on my tiptoes and caress his rough cheek. Tristan’s eyes close as he leans into my hand. I love this man.
“Get out there!” Lux yells, shaking his head.
Oh shit! Grabbing the mic from Steve, I mouth ʻI love you’ to Tristan.
He stays on the sidelines for the entire set, arms folded over his strong chest. In the shadows, he watches me. And his watching me gives me that much more drive.
The hard rain cools my skin as it falls. My wet hair sticks to my back, making it a little harder to head bang without having it sting my skin as it whips, but we jammed the hell out of our entire set and it was fucking perfect. All of this is fucking perfect. My sweet baby, Tristan, my family, and my boys, and of course… the music.
What a fucked up, crazy ride this has all been, but if I had to start right back at the very beginning again, I so would…
The Motherfucking End
BONUS SCENE
Everything I Want
Tristan’s POV
“I’ll one up you, motherfucker. I’ll snag two just to shut you the hell up.”
Caleb bumps Dave’s shoulder with his fist.
“Yeah, two nasty ones,” Dave mumbles, slipping his guitar strap over his head, smirking back at Caleb.
“I wouldn’t want my pussy any other way.”
Caleb’s grinning like a son of a bitch. Christ. Shaking my head at them, I walk over to the mic, glancing at Gunner twirl his sticks around, waiting.
“Are we gonna do a do over again?” he asks as I yank the headphones off.
“Nah.” I look down at the phones in my hands, “Let’s just fuck around.”
We’ve been in the studio for the last few months and now we’re finally finishing up our fifth album. Next month we start touring again and I just found out this fucking morning that the last group the label just signed with are total fucks and Lux had to let them go. Now, it’s all about managing other bands the studio signed with to see who’s fucking available to open for us.
I fucking doubt they’ll be able to get anyone. Most of the bands around are busy with recording or starting different tours. I know Lux was rambling on about some band he saw not too long ago back east in Chicago. Actually, he wouldn’t shut the hell up about them. I trust his judgment. If he sees something he likes, it’s usually, but not fucking always, pretty good. What in the fuck were they called again? All I know is that the lead singer, a chick, can sing hard like a man, and soft and feminine like, too.
Whatever. She’s probably just some stuck up bitch, showing off her tits and pretty much letting her band carry her. Seen the shit a hundred times before. Not all the time, but way more than the ones with actual talent.
The guys and I go over some of our older material, just fucking around ‘til Lux gets here. About an hour ago, he called to see if we were still at the studio, saying he has something he would like to discuss about the tour. Maybe he called one of his studio contacts and found someone that would be willing to prep for a tour in a month? Fuck, maybe he’s postponing it until they can straighten this shit out.
Placing the headphones back down, I push my sunglasses up with my index finger. Since Caleb and I hit the bars pretty hard last night, I knew I had to wear them for the fact that I had a fucking rager headache this morning. Even though it’s dimly lit in here, any light would feel like splinters to my brain.
After he places it in, he shoves it off to the side.
“Man, I gotta take a piss,” he says and starts heading out.
I catch a glimpse of Caleb’s back stilling for a moment when he opens the door, but I don’t really give it too much thought. Ryan heads after him and eventually, I’m the last one making my way out. Lux better hurry the fuck up. I feel like shit and I’m not in the mood for any bullshit today.
Walking up to the doorway, I catch a lot of bodies crammed tight in the small room. What the fuck? Stepping in, my eyes instantly zero in on one of the most fucking hot chick I have ever fucking seen. No shit. Even living out in L.A. and touring all over the damn world, this chick right here...
Fuck, my cock hardens at the sight of her fucking tits. Yeah, call me an asshole. Anything with a dick would look there first. And how can you not? Tight as hell body, fucking gorgeous rack. Goddamn. I love the fucking fact that I wore shades today, because now I can take my time and get my fill of her. But fuck… I can’t get enough and that’s when my eyes roam up ‘til they meet with these shiny sapphire eyes. Fuck! It literally feels like I’ve just been gutted. And that pisses me off.
This chick is definitely trouble. Looking that fucking good is bound to bring some evil with it. But as I keep staring at her, her smiling eyes fade as she takes me in. What? She probably is a stuck up bitch.
“Hey guys!” Lux says to everyone in the room, waving his hand around.
Okay, so this is definitely a band.
“Just wanted you guys to meet the new band I signed today. They will be joining you guys on tour. They’re Dollar Settlement and they can jam. I went out and saw them in Chicago last month.”
Yep, figured as much.
Lux points over at the chick.
“This is Sophia. She’s lead vocals, but don’t let that pretty face of hers fool ya. This chick has a set of lungs on her.”
Sophia? Of course someone that looks like her would have a name like that. Taking in her simple but sexy as fuck clothing, I can only imagine pounding into her. Fuck! I can’t keep staring or I probably will just fucking go after her.
Glancing back over at Lux, I try to get my mind off her, but I just get angrier at myself for having to keep glancing back at her. What the fuck? Fucking pussy. I roll my eyes knowing no one can see me.
Lux turns slightly over to this dude with the ponytail. Checking him out, I can’t help but wonder if he’s had her and again, the thought pisses me off. Why the fuck?
“This here is Roger. He’s the drummer.”
Roger steps in and nods, reaching out his hand. He offers it to me first and I kind of want to push it away, but after looking him over again, I don’t get that he’s bagged her. Taking his hand, I shake down hard once before letting go. He continues going around and offers his hand to the other guys. I guess that’s cool of him.
“This is Cory. He’s lead guitarist. And Matt, who is rhythm.”
Looking over his shoulder, he stares at this quiet dude in the back. Where in the hell did he come from? Didn’t even notice the fucker back there.
“And last but not least is Jared. He’s bass and I think he’s a big fan.”
You can hear the laughter in Lux’s voice as he introduces him, which causes everyone in the room to chuckle a little bit, but I don’t even notice since my eyes are back on this Sophia chick. Shit. She’s beautiful. Fuck! I can’t be goggling all over her. Bitch is probably used to it. But who can blame her, looking all like a goddess. She must be the type who spits when she sucks dick. By the looks of her, no way would she be down for some dirt.
“Okay, so before
I leave you guys to all get to know each other, I have just a few more things to say to the newcomers.”
Turning his back to me, he starts talking with Sophia and her band. Her eyes dart from his and over to mine for a second before going back. The longer I watch her listen to Lux’s words as if he were God or something, the faster this heated anger starts to rise inside me, and I don’t fucking like it.
“You got it, Lux,” she says, her voice small but upbeat.
Damn. Just hearing her speak sounds so sexy. How am I gonna tour with someone like her and fucking control myself? Maybe her singing voice sucks. She’s probably just some rock eye candy. Yeah, that’s fucking it.
One by one, her band members start to flood into the recording room. She hesitantly takes a step forward. Am I affecting her? Good! Because she sure as hell did some shit to me.
Say something, weak fucker! I scream at myself, but for some fucked up reason, my anger wins.
“This isn’t no bar gig,” I growl at her. “You fuck up on tour, it makes this label look like shit. I have shares here, so I don’t want myself looking like shit. You got it?”
Fuck, dude. Sophia’s eyes widen with heat behind them before she glares at me. But then she goes and crosses her fucking arms, pushing her tits up. The juicy flesh peeks out of her t-shirt. Goddamn.
“I think my little band can manage,” she goes, her voice sounding a little bratty. “Are you done? Because I have some work to do.”
She finishes with a hint of annoyance threading through her sweet voice. Then she smiles at me. I don’t know whether to fucking scream at her for being beautiful, like it was her own goddamn fault, or screaming at myself for not keeping my shit in check. It’s like I’m a fucking kid again. Shit.
When she walks by me, her arm brushes against mine and my dick jerks at the feel of her soft skin. Then she’s gone and I look on for just a second longer as her back goes through the door.
“Ahem.”
Caleb coughs from out the other door, leading to the hallway, smirking at me like a bitch. I feel like shit all over again, but there’s something annoying there and I can’t put my fucking finger on it. I just need to get the hell out of here. Heading for the door, my back tenses when I hear Dave joking out in the hall.
“I call fucking dibs on that one. Holy fuck, she’s hot!”
Never in all my time with Dave have I ever wanted to slam my fist in his throat as I do right fucking now.
Caleb slaps my shoulder and gives me another shit grin. Shaking his head, he looks over at Dave.
“Nah, bro. She’s off limits.”
“Why the fuck do you say that?” Dave laughs, but his voice has a serious tone to it.
“Because…” Caleb stops and grins over at me as we wait outside the elevator. Where the fuck is he going with this? I’m not in the mood for one of Caleb’s crazy ass riddle shit.
“She’s Tristan’s.”
I stare back at my friend, wanting to wipe that smirk off his face. Shaking my head at him, I look ahead as the elevator doors open. I step in first, and with my back to them, the corner of my mouth rises.
Sophia, huh? I think I may have to have some fun with this one.
Acknowledgements
I can’t come up with any words that can truly express how absolutely grateful I am for all of you. My readers. From the first page you flipped through in Everything I Want, and all the craziness that you embarked on during Tristan and Sophia’s journey, to now getting to “The Motherfucking End.” THANK YOU!
Your kind words and support for my characters and writing has given me more strength this past year than I have ever received. And for that, I would love to show my appreciation.
Clearly, it’s obvious now that Caleb is up next in line with his own story to tell. A while back, just on my Facebook page, I asked if anyone were to have a book next, who would it be? The winning majority by a landslide was Mr. Caleb himself. So, I took him in and what I found out was that Caleb has definitely got a story to tell, and Beautifully Chaotic is it.
It’s a story that really, I wasn’t gonna do because, let’s be honest, I have another couple that has been patiently waiting on me since the beginning writing stages of Everything I Want, but I want to do this for all of you. I simply had to tell them to chill just a little longer so I can get Caleb’s story out there. Needless to say, they may have not been pleased, but with how my brain works and all the wonderful faces and stories coming to life inside, they just simply have to wait.
Beautifully Chaoticis YOURS! Another way of saying thank you for giving me a chance.
Bloggers! Oh, how you rock my world with your constant support in my writing and helping me get out there, because, let’s face it, when I first published I knew shit about the literary world and just so happened to stumble across some pretty freaking amazing women that didn’t turn their backs on me or push me to the side because I was “new.”
Instead, these ladies gave me the advice to get out there. Eventually, one thing led to another and all of a sudden, I had my first blog tour last fall. Yep, didn’t know what that was before then, either. It’s so funny how much growth can happen in a year, and I’m even more excited for the next. None of that would be even possible without the bloggers. Thank you so, so very much.
Putting out the vibe… even though we’re small, you ladies do BIG work for me and always have an ear out and heart open, from whenever I have my late night second-guessing, to making some pretty stellar teasers and trailers. I always have a smile on my face when I read through our conversations and I’m so blessed that I have you two, Shannon and Melissa, in my corner.
This leads me to, Shannon. Yeah, girl. You not put out the vibe, you’re the best PA, setting up all the behind the scenes work, making web pages, scheduling, and going back up to the last paragraph, always listening to me and giving me kind words of wisdom.
Right from the very beginning, like chapter one on my iPhone when I was starting to get Everything I Want down, you have been there. Kind of funny how it started. I remember telling you that I was writing a book and I wanted you to read it. What you said next had me laughing so hard that I had to pull over on the Fort Street Bridge downtown and laugh.
“Well, make sure you type it out.” LOL, yes, you actually thought I was writing in a notebook. So funny.
But since the very beginning, when I know for a fact that I had some disbelieving in me, you had my back. Thank you.
My husband Jake, who I love to call Butters. Long story ;) This past year has been crazy, but you still showed support and love and helped around the house and with the kids when I had to get cracking on my first series. We had our ups and downs this year with everything, but I love that you would get excited seeing me succeed in something and want nothing more than to see your wife happy. Thank you for picking me up when I feel like I have fallen, and holding my hand the entire way. I love you, Jake.
Kathy Coopmans, you are a saint! This woman is amazing. Like I said in the beginning, I had no clue whatsoever how to go about getting my name out there. I mean, Everything I Want was out for a good few months and I was lost. Sorry to say, at the time, I didn’t know better and would just message blogs asking them to read my book or post something. Yeah, I know, but I swear I thought that’s just something you had to do. I didn’t know any of the back end of it. Anyways, I came across Panty Dropping Book Blog and come to find out, that’s Kathy’s blog. All I knew at the time about her was that she’d had the blog for a while and was also becoming an author. Another thing I thought was pretty sweet was that she was also from my home state. Kind of silly, but a glow took over when finding that out.
I remember explaining myself to her and apologizing I’m sure a hundred times because I didn’t know better. She just laughed it off and called me cute. “You need to set up a blog tour,” she said. Then, she hooked a girl up. Set me up with Heather over at the blog and that’s how my first blog tour came.
I went through some roughness
with the first company I published through and wanted to break out. Again, she came to the rescue. She got me in touch with her editor, Kim. And that’s when I pulled my first book out and eventually, my editor Kim now ;) will be working her magic on that, too. Thanks again Kathy, I’m forever grateful to you.
Kimberly Capuccio, you are the best! I know sometimes working with me can get kind of Lampoons at times, but you make me feel so comfortable and your work is amazing! My only regret is that I wish I had you before I published my first book, but I have you now, so it’s all good. ;) Especially with the craziness of this last little bit, thank you for everything, girl.
Jill Stenglein over at Picture This Photography & Design, your work on all the covers was simply beautiful. You helped me out every second of the way with my visions and brought them to life.
Okay, one more. This may seem silly to some, but I just have to get this out there, because if it wasn’t for this individual and her amazing voice, Everything I Want would almost cease to exist.
I used to work in a cubicle in accounting, inputting invoices all damn day. The only way I would find comfort at work was to jam out all the time. Yes, I may have pissed off my co-workers with my music, but hey! I had earbuds in. Anyways, I was still feeling the awesome book high you get from reading a certain book that just rocked your world. I was lucky that I had a few swimming around at the time. Bully by Penelope Douglas. Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren, and The Mighty Storm by Samantha Towle.
I was in my own little world, thinking about the characters and listening to music while inputting when all of a sudden, this jam comes on and I swear it seemed like everything stopped. Swear to God. The song was Scarlet, by In This Moment. This song was so amazing that instantly I had to stop and grab the closest piece of paper near me and start writing down the main notes to EIW. Literally in that moment, for the first time ever listening to that song, did I see the entire story come to life. I was pumped. I was excited! Shit, I’m ADHD so I just had to leave my desk and head out for a break so I could bask in my revelation. That night, on February 22nd 2014, I started writing the notes on my phone since I didn’t have a working computer at the time. Once that happened, I’ve never stopped since.
Everything I Have (Everything I Want #3) Page 25