I sauntered over to the front counter, and instead of grabbing my purse, I grabbed the microphone. "Hey, boys and girls, it has been my pleasure to meet the most soulless people in the city of Atlanta. I have to leave now because the smell of you rotting from the inside out is making me sick to my stomach. Have a great day." I handed the microphone to Chet, who had turned white as a ghost, which was probably hard to do for him since he was the whitest man on earth already. I looked around and everyone was staring at me as I grabbed my purse.
Finally, the silence was broken as the bartenders and bar backs from the club all shouted in unison, "We love you Desiree!"
I strutted for the door and waved to Wallace at the bar, who was giving me the thumbs up. Desiree out, bitches.
CHAPTER 64
So the next football game was coming up, and I needed to get people lined up to help with the booth. How hard could this be? You got to watch a bunch of hot, butch men parading themselves back and forth in front of the booth all day long. Lots of eye candy everywhere you looked.
I grabbed my phone and started dialing the people I had met through the club and who had come to my shows previously. I was sure some of them would be willing to help out.
My task was turning out to be harder than I thought. I left a lot of voice-mails, and the couple of people I did get a hold of were not interested in helping out. It was time to call in the cavalry, and Germaine was his name. I was hoping Germaine would have some free time since he was pretty preoccupied now with his twinks, was staying out late, and was having a lot of company over. I never knew who I was going to run into in the morning getting a coffee or in what state of dress they would be. I had seen so many pairs of boxer shorts lately that I could identify the twink just by the brand of boxers I found on the kitchen floor.
I dialed Germaine's number, and it went straight to voice mail. "Germaine, it is your favorite roommate. I need some help in getting people to man the booth for the next Georgia A&M game. Please let me know if you have anybody that can help out. Hugs."
Germaine was always predictable and he usually called back within a couple of minutes. I knew he would have an idea of what to do.
I waited, but his return call never came. Now I was in panic mode. My phone was silent and none of the people I had left messages for even called me back.
How did I end up in this situation? I'm a nice guy, but I felt like a total pariah. I'd been shunned by everyone with whom I used to be friends and now the A Gay group has turned its back on me. I didn't realize how much I needed everyone, and not just for their help. They were my support and backbone that got me through everything, but I didn't realize it and let it slide through my fingers. I thought Atlanta was a friendly town, but it sure had given me the cold shoulder. I was at times like this that people turn to God, and I was not the exception to the rule.
"God, it's me. What have I done to piss you off? I try to be a good person and help all that I can. I know I don't go to church, but I truly believe in my heart that if you lead a good life, you will make it to the next level when you pass this great world even if you weren’t at church every Sunday. I know you don't give people any more that they can handle, but I've had my fair share of it in life. Please give me some sign that things will be okay. Amen." My mother would have been so proud.
No answer immediately came, and I needed advice. The next person I called should have been the first person I called. "Marni, I need some advice. Are you available," I asked.
"Darling, anything for you. Meet me at the club in a half hour."
Marni would know what I should do. I was sure of that. I threw on some warm clothes and headed to the club. There was a chill in the air and the leaves made for a brilliant landscape. I loved Georgia at this time of the year because the humidity was gone and the scenery was incredibly beautiful. It made me miss the mountains because you could go to a mountain peak and just stare at the carpeted valley with all of its beauty and color everywhere. It really made me feel at ease.
I got to the club and Marni was already waiting for me at the bar with a screwdriver in hand for me.
"Rough day?" he asked.
"Yes. I don't know where everything went wrong. One minute I was on top of the world, and the next I couldn't get arrested if I tried."
"Welcome to the world of show business. One day, you’re the belle of the ball, and the next, you are the tabloid headlines. The only thing worse is when they stop talking about you at all.”
"That's what I'm afraid of.”
"Don't be. You've worked too hard to get where you are. Don't let a lie ruin everything that you built up. All of us at the club know you were the brains and beauty behind your show.”
"How do I fix it?"
"You work. You get out there and show these people that you won't be stopped. Look at all the entertainers who work here. They have busted their asses to get where they are and didn't let anyone tell them no. People don't tell you that being a professional entertainer is hard work. It's not just show up and entertain. You have to plan and practice and perfect your craft to make people like you. You have to put the show into the show.”
"Where do I start?"
"Call one of your friends from the contest. Most of these girls love you and would do anything for you. Start there and get out there and show people that you are not afraid of a little bad press. Make them forget those stories and have them start telling your new story. Maybe this is your second coming?”
"I haven't come in a long time," I said and laughed.
"See, now you can see the humor in the situation, and with humor you can get through anything. You are a lot stronger than you believe you are.”
CHAPTER 65
I made the call to Mary Jane, who was more than willing to help me out. She was having a show that week and invited me to come and sing a couple of numbers live with her and the band. It was nice to have some support again. She really was a lovely person.
We got together to rehearse since Mary Jane was more of a rock chick than I could ever be. "Sweetie, you have to remember that some of the people with the best voices never make it big. Look at all those people on Broadway who are belting it out night after night without ever achieving world-wide fame. Do you know why they do it?" she asked.
"No, why do they do it?"
"Because they enjoy doing it. They are doing it because it makes them happy and not because they are seeking world fame and fortune. Yes, it is nice if that ever happens, but that is few and far between. And most of those people never make it big because they are not the pretty people whom everyone adores. Look at all the early videos on MTV. It killed the ugly person's careers in music. I do it because I want to make everyone happy. I like entertaining people and it brings me joy," she said. "I want you to do that with me and enjoy it as much as I do. Now we need to find some songs you can work with."
"I want to feel the music as much as you do.”
"Well, let's find something that you feel comfortable singing. How about ‘Another Piece of My Heart’ by Janis Joplin? I think you would do great with it.”
"I'm not familiar with it, so let's hear it and see what we can do. If it is something you think will work, I'm sure it is something worth considering. I really want to break my mold and give the people something different.”
"Janis it is, then. We just need to find you one other song that will click with the crowd. How about a little Pat Benatar?" she asked.
"You have to remember that I'm a little younger than you are and don't know many of the older artists."
"Older artists are just as relevant as they were back in the day. You need to get a musical education.”
She went to her record collection. And when I say records, I mean records. She didn't have CD's or an iPod. Everything was alphabetized by artist's last name so she was able to locate everything quickly in one of her six Peaches Records crates. She found Pat Benatar and pulled out, one LP after the other, and examined the song list on the back. "The on
e thing you don't get to appreciate on a CD is the art work. When these records were done, so much more time was spent on the artwork for the cover, the back, and the LP sleeve. They really tried to sell a story. But now-a-days, it is just slap a picture on there and call it art. Oh my God, I sound like my mother. Here is a song I want you to listen to and tell me what you think. This was Pat's first big hit, and I think it would work for you. It's called ‘Heartbreaker’.”
She put the LP on the turntable. The first thing you noticed was the amount of energy in the song and the driving guitars. It moved you forward then you heard the voice of a dirty angel as she growled through the song. It was instant love, and I thought I could do it justice.
I started singing along with the chorus and Mary Jane knew at that moment that she had made the right decision.
"So Pat it is. The band hasn't played this one in forever, but it should come back quickly. Now let's get that Janis song.”
"It's always good to expand your mind.”
"Well, if you want to expand your mind, take a hit on this," she said as she pulled out a joint from her pocket and fired it up. "I need a smoke break."
She inhaled deeply and passed it to me. I'm not a big pot smoker, but since I hadn't been drinking yet, I took a couple hits off the joint. It made me relax a little, which was great, since I hadn't been able to find much peace lately. I passed it back to her as we both sank into her comfy sofa and let the music of Janis wash over us.
"Why haven't I heard this music before?" I asked.
"You didn't have that one friend around who could turn you onto some new music back in the day. Everyone needs a music geek in their life. I guess that is how I started out as a music geek. I loved discovering new music, and it was such fun back in the day to hang at the record store and talk to the staff to see what they were really into. I used to go to a place called the Head Shed, which sold music as well as paraphernalia. I think I discovered two of my true loves in one spot," she said. "They were always so nice to me since I was young when I started coming into the store. Every time I smell incense, it immediately takes me back to when I was thirteen years old. Those were the good old days."
"You're not that old.”
"I know, but time flies by as you get older. It is hard to believe that crowning is just around the corner and that this process started months and months ago. To be honest, I don't really care who wins as long as it isn't Athena."
"I agree. I've had so much fun meeting everyone but she's been a total bitch to me the entire time," I said.
"Don't worry, she's been a bitch to everyone. That's just her. She didn't get enough love as a child.”
"I was the opposite. I got smothered, but I didn't appreciate it like I should have. I guess if it didn't always come with a side of religion I would have been willing to accept it more."
"Honey, there are all kinds of love that are going to come into your life in all different forms. You might not recognize it at first, so just let it wash all over you. Come on. Break is over. We need you to learn the lyrics so that we can get you with the band in a couple of days. The show is Saturday so we don't have much time."
“Holy crap,” I thought. I haven't been in front of a big crowd since the debacle started, and I wasn't quite sure if I would be ready for it. So I listened to the music and wrote down the lyrics. It helped me to retain it better if I could visually see it. I just hoped I could keep up with the band.
Mary Jane said we were going to stick to the way Janis and Pat did the recording that I first heard. She was nice enough to load them into my iPod so that I could rehearse some more. That was the whole key for me, because when I did "Bombshell," I had already known all the music. Maybe I was just psyching myself out. This was only two songs, so I shouldn't be worried. At least I would be singing with Mary Jane, so I really needed to relax.
I also needed to figure out an outfit to wear. This was Mary Jane's show, so I didn't want to upstage her. There is nothing worse than when the secondary performer outshines the headliner, so I was going to blend in a little so that I didn’t steal the spotlight. Since it was going to be in a bar I decided something mid-length and dark would be best. I could always accessorize a little to give it a little panache. Plus the heels were going to be five inches so that was enough showing off.
It was finally Saturday, and I was as ready as I was ever going to be. We had rehearsed a couple of times during the week, so I felt confident that it would be great. It was time to make my way over to Harriet’s Club, where Mary Jane performed on a regular basis. It was a dive bar, but the patrons really loved Mary Jane and had always been supportive of anyone she brought out on stage with her. At least I wasn't trying to headline something right now because I didn't think I could fill a confessional with people wanting to come see me.
In the dressing room everyone was really relaxed. You could smell the pot cloud before you even saw it. There was a spread of pulled pork barbecue sliders with pickles and hot sauce for your liking along with Doritos and a small self-serve bar with a bucket of ice and a stack of red solo cups. I remember my momma calling red solo cups ruby red crystal to help me feel like we had something even though we were struggling at the time. She did try to make me feel secure even though she probably didn't know what was going to happen next. I need to thank her for that the next time I see her.
"Baby, are you ready for this?" Mary Jane asked.
"Yes, I am. And thanks for giving me the opportunity. A lot of people have turned their backs on me, but not in a good way," I said with a little nervous laugh.
"You have been before bigger crowds than this and you did great," she said. "Just remember they are all here to be entertained. We will do about a half hour before I call you up, so sit back and relax," she said.
"Already am," I said as I held up my red solo cup. Off they went, I could hear the music start bleeding through the walls. I was a little fidgety, but it was a good energy. I was looking forward to having some fun. I watched the clock and about twenty-five minutes in, I slipped out the dressing room door and stood by the side of the stage. Mary Jane and the band were killing it as usual.
She finished a cover of the Cars song, “Let's Go,” and started my introduction.
"Alright, boys and girls, I want to bring up a good friend of mine to help me out on a couple of numbers. Many of you have seen her competing with me to be crowned the first Miss Club Cabaret, and through all this we have become good friends. Please welcome to the stage my friend, Desiree."
I started up the short riser of stairs to some applause and some boos, but all I could do was keep moving until I got to my mic stand. And to my surprise, Mary Jane had some more to say.
"Hey, hey, hey. That's not how we behave here. Didn't your mother teach you some manners?" she said admonishing her own crowd. "When I bring someone up here, I expect you to treat them with respect. There have been many things said lately of this entertainer, but it has all been bullshit. Y'all need to quit believing everything you read on the Internet. I know for a fact that Desiree put all her energy into writing ‘Bombshell’ and she deserves your divided attention."
The crowd looked a little sheepish.
"We love you, Mary Jane," someone yelled.
"Thank you, baby. Now everyone please share your love for Miss Desiree," Mary Jane commanded.
This time the crowd went up and I felt much better. The band then went right into Janis, and the crowd knew it immediately. I grabbed the mic and did my best Janis howl, and we were off to the races. The crowd was singing right along with us, and I felt all their energy coming my way. It was great to sway and groove again on a stage and feel the music again. I had missed this.
The first number ended and the band went straight into "Heartbreaker." The crowd knew this one just as well and they were bouncing around and fist pumping. We just sang our hearts out, and I got almost every word right and hit every note right. It was a good night. The song ended and again the crowd was very generous with th
eir round of applause.
"Everyone, Miss Desiree!" Mary Jane said as I waved my goodbye and headed off stage. I slipped along the club wall and grabbed a seat at the bar to watch the rest of their set.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a very sexy twink staring at me. "You were wonderful," he said. "And I never believed the stories about you. I saw ‘Bombshell’ and I knew that someone who was so passionate about her character and music had to have more invested in the show than just coming and reciting lines."
"That is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me." I said as I reached out to grab his hand. "What is your name?"
"I'm Ceasar, and I'm glad I got a chance to meet you. I hope I can see you in some more things very soon," he said.
"I hope you will too," I said. He slipped back into the crowd. The rest of the evening, I had several other people come over and tell me how much they enjoyed "Bombshell." For once, nothing negative was thrown my way. It was good to know that there are some genuine people out there who can pay you a compliment instead of stabbing you in the back on the Internet.
Mary Jane's set was over and she joined me at the bar. She was patting herself dry with a towel.
"I sweat like a pig when I do these indoor gigs, especially with the lights," she said as she was running the towel up and down her arms. She even ran the towel over her hair, which turned out to be her real hair.
"It is my real hair," she said. "I like it long. Girl, I'm glad you came tonight. I hope this will put an end to all your gloom and doom. There are people out there who do love you."
"Thank you for making me realize that. We all get trapped in our own little bubble and this was the kick I needed to get my shit together."
"Are you ready to take Athena down now?"
"Definitely.”
CHAPTER 66
I awoke that morning feeling refreshed for the first time in a long time. After last night’s performance, I felt more like myself and the drive had returned to win the contest. I realized that it was awfully quiet in the apartment, which was nice, since I rarely got any time to myself at home. Hopefully, Germaine was either at work or still out somewhere with the boy of the day.
The Crown Is Mine Page 31