The Binding (Chronicles of Azaria #1)

by Sam Dogra

  Or maybe his lies made me feel more justified in keeping my own.

  “Anyway,” Ryan said, dragging out the fur-lined sleeping bag from his pack. “Here.” He tossed it towards me. I took it from the flowers. Thankfully, the petals’ scent was so strong I couldn’t detect his own. Good. Otherwise I’d be in for a very restless night.

  Ryan flapped out a woollen blanket. I eyed it with a raised brow.

  “It’s pretty cold,” I said. “Will that be enough?”

  “I’ll cope,” Ryan shrugged. “You need your strength to help your ankle heal. We’ll get another one later.”

  “So chivalrous,” I teased. Grasping the bag’s ends, I flattened it into a wrinkled cylinder, and with some awkward shuffling managed to tuck my legs and torso inside. I didn’t notice a lot of difference in temperature, but I knew it would warm with my body heat. I longed for my bed back home, with its feather pillows and cotton sheets, my bedside lantern, and my unfinished…

  Forget it, Eliza. You can’t go back.

  I glanced to Ryan, who had settled a few feet away from me, wrapped like a caterpillar in a cocoon. He tucked his face inside, so I could only see the edges of his sandy hair.

  “Good night, Eliza,” he murmured.

  “Night,” I said, yawning. Maybe I was tired, after all.

  Turning onto my side, I set my head amidst the flower petals, and quietly drifted off.

  The night was over.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ‘Even the stars envied their glances, for none would look upon them with such devoted tenderness...’

  —Tale of the Binding

  The chirp of a hellersbird stirred me from the darkness, and I rolled onto my back. Sunlight bore through my eyelids, and I raised my arm to my face. Why was it so bright? My room faced north; I never got woken by the dawn spilling through my window. And why were my cheeks so cold? The rest of me was wonderfully snug in these furs, so…

  Wait a minute. Furs?

  My eyes snapped open, and I bolted upright. My ankle surged with pain, and I groaned, reaching under the covers to clasp it. Rough linen greeted my fingers. At once everything came racing back. The blue moon, the hungry bear, my fall.

  Ryan.

  I turned to where he’d fallen asleep. The brown blanket had been folded, its owner no-where to be found. I almost screamed. How could he have gotten away? We were Bound—if he moved more than half a mile from me, both of us would feel the ‘Parting’. The ripping pains, the convulsions, the hallucinations; not to mention the fact that if I didn’t find him by tomorrow, we’d start to turn into Unbou…

  “Morning!”

  My eyes shot to the ridge we’d descended the night before. Ryan sat on a tree root, drinking from a water skin. Cielo stood beside him, nibbling at the sparse grassy patches. His saddle had been removed, showing off his glossy white coat, made all the brighter by the flowers surrounding him.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank the Goddess, he hadn’t left. That had been careless of me. I should’ve thought about what to do if Ryan wandered off alone. The moment he felt any difference, he’d know what had happened, and the last thing I wanted was for him to find out we were Bound.

  That, and I wasn’t too keen on experiencing Parting myself.

  Ryan took a quick swig from his skin, then jumped to his feet. In the daylight, he looked so different. Now I could appreciate how tall he was, though Adam was a hand’s breadth higher. His features seemed softer in the sun. He’d taken off his coat, and his ivory shirt hugged his chest. He wasn’t particularly muscular, yet the cloth formed a perfect outline to his shoulders and ribs. I suddenly felt a huge disdain towards buttons. Just a twist in the right place, and then his shirt would…

  I snapped my gaze back to my lap, pressing my hands to my eyes. I wasn’t even fully awake, and the curse was up to its devious tricks. And I thought touching him had brought out the worst of it. If this kept up, it wouldn’t be long before I’d have to start wearing a blindfold.

  Once I regained control, I lowered my arms and took a breath. The scent of wildflowers filled my nostrils, and I concentrated on the crisp air. My fingers wrapped round the sleeping bag, painting a tactile picture in my head. Don’t think about anything else, and especially not why I suddenly craved a pair of sewing scissors.

  A gust swept the valley, and blossoms streamed across the field, screening my view. The oaks creaked in the distance, and I heard Cielo snort. I was glad for the temporary cover. It would give me time to cool my burning cheeks. It was unnerving how easily the Binding worked into my thoughts. The curse would latch onto the tiniest feeling and transform it into an almost unbreakable yearning. Rubbing the scab on my cheek, I sighed.

  This was going to be a long, long day.

  The breeze died, and the veil of petals fell back. In their place, a shadow loomed, and I looked up. Ryan stood over me, a quizzical look on his face. I resisted the instinct to jump. He’d snuck over here fast.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked, dropping down beside me. His knee brushed my leg, and I half-flinched.

  “F-fine,” I managed to rasp; my mouth had turned to sand. Ryan tilted his head, and offered the skin. I seized it and guzzled half the contents. The cold liquid sloshed down my throat, soothing the heat in my chest and my cheeks. I focused all my attention on the sensation, as gradually the urge to reach out to him faded.

  “You’re a little jumpy today,” Ryan observed, as I handed back the skin. I wiped my mouth, avoiding his eyes. I wasn’t going to give the magic any more chances than it deserved.

  “Oh, I’ll be okay.” I took a snowdrop between my fingers. “I’m just not used to sleeping out.” I rubbed the silken petals, trying to blot out the rumbling in my chest. Without the night to hide behind, I needed to be much more conscious of my body’s reactions. If I wasn’t careful, Ryan would see everything, blushes and all, and I had a feeling he already knew more than he was letting on. But if he wasn’t going to make a big deal of it, neither was I.

  “Well, you’re going to have to get used to it,” Ryan said, folding his arms. “We’re going to be on the road all the time.”

  I frowned.

  “What, so you don’t treat yourself to an inn now and then?”

  Ryan laughed. My heart fluttered like a caged bird. I bundled my hands into fists, praying he wouldn’t notice.

  “I prefer it out in the open,” he said. “More freedom. Less expensive, too.”

  I raised an eyebrow. That was an odd thing to say. I mean, it was obvious Ryan came from a wealthy background; one look at Cielo told that much. It was possible he might have stolen the horse, but what were the odds of also pinching a custom-built crossbow that happened to fit him perfectly? Finally, the fact Ryan wanted to keep away from inns and stay on the road said it all.

  He was trying to lie low.

  But why? Who was he hiding from? Or perhaps the question was, what was he trying to hide…

  “Are you hungry?”

  I blinked. Whoa girl, keep daydreaming like that and Ryan really will think you’ve a few screws loose. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, trying to pull off a thoughtful gaze.

  “Yeah, a little,” I said, hoping there hadn’t been a long delay before I answered. “But didn’t we have to abandon your food?”

  Ryan dug his hand into his pocket, producing a navy handkerchief. He spread it on his hand, revealing a cluster of berries.

  “I found these on the other side of the field,” he said, extending his arm. “They’re not much, but they’re very sweet. I promise I’ll buy you a big lunch to make up for it.”

  “I’ll hold you to that,” I chuckled, making to take a berry. I was starving—I hadn’t eaten a thing since dinner yesterday, bar a few nuts I’d brought to the clearing.

  Ryan’s palm curled round my fingers, meaning to be supportive. My hand twitched, wanting to pull him towards me. No, no! I yanked my hand away, sending the berries flying into the flowers.

  “G
oddess, I’m so sorry!” I hung my head. This curse was seriously getting on my nerves.

  “It’s alright.” Ryan plucked his handkerchief back. “I can fetch more. There’s plenty left.”

  “Sorry to be such a pain.” I sighed. “I just…well…” Come on, think of an excuse! “…I…being touched, sometimes I can’t help but…you know. I don’t like it.” My cheeks flushed, but this time because of shame. Such a terrible, terrible lie, and it would keep coming back to haunt me. Too late to regret it now.

  “Oh. Of course, your parents must have…” Ryan trailed off, not wanting to upset me. He stared at the ground. “Forgive me.”

  “Forgive you? For what?”

  Ryan swallowed.

  “Last night, I made you…you were holding on so tight, I never thought that…it would be uncomfortable for you.”

  I bit my lip. I was forcing so much guilt onto him, and after everything he’d done for me, too. How could I be suspicious of his motives when I harboured a secret so much worse?

  A twinge ran down my arm, wanting me to hold his hand, but I tensed my muscles instead. It would only be a repeat of the berries.

  “Ryan, don’t apologise,” I said at last. “You’ve got me out of danger, twice. And I have to learn not to react like that if you touch me.” This was true. If I didn’t find ways to rein back my feelings when I was in contact with him, I’d have no chance at beating the curse.

  Or keeping my mind.

  “Okay.” Ryan folded up his handkerchief, dusting the petals from his trousers. “By the way, how’s the ankle?”

  I shuffled back and kicked the sleeping bag off my legs. I slipped off my boot, resting my bandaged ankle on the soft bed of flowers. The swelling had gone down, but when I tried to move my foot, I winced. Ryan crawled over, inspecting it.

  “You should start putting more weight on it today,” he said, “else it’ll go stiff. Wait here.”

  He climbed to his feet and walked across the meadow’s edge. In the midst of the shrubs, I made out a bleached trunk, fallen from a storm long past. Ryan examined it, sometimes testing the branches, before he removed something from his belt. With his hunting knife, he hacked at the bark, until a straight piece broke away. He scooped up the stick and returned to me.

  “Try this,” he said. I nodded. With difficulty I rolled onto my knees, then placed my good foot on the ground. I braced my thigh, summoning the power to push my body up. Ryan hesitated, unsure if he should take my shoulder.

  “It’s alright, give me a hand,” I said. I gritted my teeth, hoping I could resist the urges that would come from the contact. Ryan crouched beside me, taking my arm, and slowly we both stood up. My pulse bounded, so I counted my breaths. I was so focused I almost didn’t feel Ryan place the stick beneath my arm. His grip loosened, and I found my balance.

  “Well?” He took his hands away—Goddess, it was like releasing a pressure valve in my chest—and stood back. I remained still, recovering from my latest bout of Binding. I was building some endurance to it. At least I wasn’t shaking as much as last night.

  When I was confident I was back in control, I took a tentative step. Pain wasn’t so much the problem as unsteadiness; I felt my ankle would give way any second. Quickly I sagged against my make-shift crutch, and let my other leg follow through. I paused, as a fresh flurry of petals whipped across my hair.

  “Not too bad,” I said. “If I practice a bit, I’ll be fine.”

  Ryan smiled again.

  “Show me where that berry bush is,” I said, trying out another step. This was much less clumsy, as I was more aware of where to position my legs. Too eager, I tried to take two steps in one go, and almost toppled over. Ryan’s hands sprang up, waiting to catch me, but I managed to keep upright. Fear of him touching me was quite the motivator.

  “Don’t overdo it,” Ryan joked. He kept alongside me as I walked, close enough to grab me should I need help.

  I wasn’t planning on falling again.

  He guided me towards the edge of the field. I swatted away the blossom storm; it had become irritating, now. Cielo lifted his head from grazing, curious. He walked over, ears twitching, but a stern glare from Ryan told him to keep his distance. I giggled, shaking my head.

  I was moving quite smoothly now. However, my leg was tiring. By the time we reached the bushes, I couldn’t take another step. I hobbled over to a nearby log and dropped down, rubbing my hip.

  “Very good for your first try,” Ryan said. He grabbed a handful of berries, placing them on his handkerchief again. This time he laid the cloth on the log. “There, all yours.”

  I managed an apologetic shrug, before I dived onto the fruits. They were bursting with juice and flavour, sweeter than any I’d tasted back home. I practically inhaled the entire batch. Ryan chuckled.

  “You really were hungry,” he said, reclaiming his handkerchief and filling it up again. He sat down next to me, tossing berries into his mouth. “Want more?”

  “I’m good, thanks,” I said. “I should save room for that lunch you promised.” Ryan grinned, flicking another berry down. Smiling, I looked back across the field. The colourful plants surrounded by the haze of trees soothed me, and for once I wasn’t distracted by his presence. I was even tempted to admit I didn’t mind his company. But I didn’t want to give the Binding ammunition for later. “So what’s the plan for today?”

  “We’ll make a quick stop in Bane,” Ryan said, swallowing the last of his fruity snack. “I know you weren’t keen last night, but you can use my cloak, so nobody will recognise you. It’s a long way to Lanaran, and there are a lot of things we need.”

  I sighed. He was right. Lanaran was three days away from Bane. Still, I didn’t like the idea. True, I hadn’t any immediately remarkable features that would identify me in a crowd, but it was a risk I wasn’t comfortable to take. Especially since Adam would have just left. What if we crossed paths on the road?

  “Not happy with that?” Ryan asked, resting his foot against the log and wrapping his arms around his knee.

  I hesitated.

  “Please don’t worry.” He raised his arm to squeeze my shoulder, but at the last moment changed his mind. “Besides, you’re travelling with me, remember? They’ll be looking for a lone girl, not the two of us. We’ll be fine, I promise.”

  All I could do was nod. I couldn’t get out of this one. I’d have to stick to Ryan and hope no-one looked too closely.

  A yawn escaped me, and I felt the pull of the dried blood on my cheek. I raised my hand, grimacing at the texture.

  “Ryan, is there any place I could wash up?”

  Ryan stared at me, bemused.

  “Goddess, I’m so sorry!” He started laughing. “How rude of me. Of course you’d want to clean up.” He pointed past the berry bush. “There’s a small stream over there.”

  “Perfect,” I said.

  “Think you’ll need help?”

  I shook my head, a little more vigorously than necessary. The Binding didn’t need any more encouragement.

  “I should be alright. I’ll shout if there’s a problem.”

  “I’ll come running.”

  Ryan tucked his handkerchief away and strode back to the blanket and sleeping bag, whistling for Cielo. I watched the white horse trot to his master, before I grasped my crutch and got to my feet. My face probably looked like it had been smeared in war paint; not a look that particularly suited me, with my pale skin and midnight-blue eyes.

  With awkward steps, I crossed the bushes, helping myself to a few extra berries along the way. Sure enough, the stream appeared, tucked between a pair of boulders. Water cascaded off the rock, so I could catch it in my hand without stooping. The grime and blood took a while to get off, but eventually my hands came away clean, and I felt much more refreshed.

  Drying my hands on my leggings, I turned my back on the stream and re-entered the field of flowers. Ryan was on the tree root again. Cielo stood at his side, saddled and ready to go. As I approached, Ry
an slipped on his coat, a dusky maroon in colour, then handed me a folded cloak.

  “All set?” he asked.

  “I think so.” I opened out the cloak and shuffled into it. I had to bunch the fabric inside my belt so I wouldn’t trip over its hem. I tucked my hair inside the hood, then drew the cords taut.

  When I was done, Ryan knelt down, wanting to boost me into the saddle. I stiffened. Last night I’d been pressed against him for only half an hour, and that had been horrible enough. A longer journey would turn me inside out.

  “Um, Ryan…” I began. How could I put this? “Um, I know I said I have to get over my fear, but…well…would you mind if I rode alone? Just for today?”

  Ryan stood up, frowning.

  “Was it that bad last night?”

  I could only manage a nod. Just give me one day. One day to find a way to fight the Binding’s lust. For both our sake’s.

  “It’ll help my ankle, too,” I added. “It hurt a lot yesterday, but we had no choice. I promise it’ll only be for today.”

  I crossed my fingers behind my back. I was really pushing my luck. Ryan was sure to be suspicious. And this spoiled princess act wouldn’t work again. I’d have to come up with something more creative.

  “…alright.”

  His reluctant acceptance didn’t make me feel better. Already he’d given up so much, and here I was asking another favour. I muttered a prayer to the Goddess, promising as large an offering as she wanted if she got me through the day.

  “Come here.” Ryan nodded at the tree root. I obeyed, and stepped onto it. It brought me higher, so Cielo’s back wasn’t so far away, but I would still need to be lifted onto him. I swallowed. Just prepare for the moment. It was possible to hold the Binding at bay, I’d proven that. If I got the timing right, it’d be plain sailing.

  Ryan reached up—damn, he was tall—and held me by the shoulders, making sure I stood straight. I resorted to my counter measure and began counting breaths. Come on, Eliza, you can do this.