Mathew treated me like a princess. Nothing was rushed, nothing was urgent. Everything happened as it should happen. Full of foreplay, full of love. I took the chance to touch his butt again, but this time I put my hand inside his boxer shorts.
- It is white, if you want to know. - He whispered in my ear smiling, referring to the color of his underwear.
- I can’t help you with the color of mine, I guess you'll have to see it to know. - I laughed, trying to lose a bit of shame that I had of the situation.
I was a virgin, I had never lived a moment like this before. But Mathew was special, he treated me in a way that made me relaxed, let me light. It was different, I felt good and happy. There was nothing imprisoning me, and I had, above all, a conviction that he was doing the right thing.
Everything happened in such a magical way that at no time I had got scared or ashamed. He told me beautiful things all the time, leaving me free to continue or not. Making it clear that he only would go wherever I wanted, and if at that moment I decided to back off and wait longer he would agree, understanding and supportive.
But I wanted, I really wanted. I was seized with a desire, far more than desire for love.
He left me free to decide what would be the next step of that moment. Though he could not hide his joy and his wish that it continued. Each touch of him made me even more passionate and even more certain that I wanted to be his.
- We don’t need to do anything you don’t want. - He told me as he stroked my hair and kissed me tenderly.
- I want to. I just don’t want to abuse of your health, you are still sickly. - I said laughing, showing that even then I kept my sense of humor.
- You're my disease, you are my cure. - He said kissing me and making me feel the happiest woman in the world.
Nothing happened suddenly. We stayed there a while, both of us, just knowing us, falling in love even more. He was a prince, my prince, and I could feel like a real princess. My first time was not in a fancy hotel, it was not taking off the wedding dress, or in a hut on a deserted island. But I can assure you it was the best first time a girl could wish for, because it is not the location that makes something special, but the person who is with you at that moment.
I can’t say it didn’t hurt a bit. I think every girl should feel a twinge in her first time, but I was fine, I was relaxed, I was happy. Mat was a gentleman. He was passionate. He was my prince. I couldn’t have done with someone more special than him.
I got out of bed and left him still lying asleep. I groped on the mattress that was beside the bed where I should have slept and grabbed my clothes that were fallen there. I paid attention to not to be clumsy and wear anything inside out and then went towards Suzan’s bedroom so she helped me to prepare a breakfast for Matt.
I found her bedroom without major difficulties. Mr. Lucas was sleeping. He had spent the morning in the studio painting, as Mrs. Julia informed me, who was already in the kitchen taking care of her duties.
- Did you sleep well, honey? - She asked me being nice.
- Yes, thank you. - I replied, with a small inner smile that tried to escape from my mouth and say how that night had been wonderful. - The fever left Mat. He is already better, but is still sleeping.
- It was nice to know that you were by his side. - She told me while slicing bread. At least the noise indicated that. - You were the medicine he needed.
We were silent for a moment. Then Mrs. Julia broke it:
- Well, feel free honey, it's your house. I'm going out with Suzan to solve some problems of Lucas. He is no longer willing to take the medicines, he’s deceiving us, and we will have to take some more drastic measure, for his own good. I’ll pass by your house before, to inform that you are fine and you're here taking care of Mathew. Make yourself at home. Feel at home.
Suzan helped me up with the tray, leaving me at the bedroom door.
- Thanks for everything, Emily. My brother is all I have, and I love him so much. It hurt too much to see him suffer like that.
I was embarrassed, didn’t know what to say. It was me who was happy to have someone so special in my life. In having Matthew. A real gift sent by God.
I entered the room and while sitting on the bed I realized that Matt was not there. I called his name and heard a voice coming from the bathroom.
- Ems? - He said, sounding not to believe I was there.
- Yes, who else? - I replied laughing.
- I'm leaving the bathroom. - He said laughing, showing a great joy to see me. He approached me and hugged me. I bet he didn’t even take a proper bath. I noticed that his hair was wet and he was bare back.
- I'm just wrapped in a towel - he told me with a hotter air than normal - I hope you don’t think I'm trying to seduce you. - He completed laughing.
I smiled. He was actually better.
- I brought breakfast for you. You need to get well soon, get out of this room and get back with your life.
- Get back with my life? - He asked me, giving me a kiss on the forehead. - This means to have you back. And you know, I think that fate conspires in our favor, because I dreamed about you this night. Or I hallucinated because of fever, I’m not sure. But I dreamed about you and now you're here.
I don’t believe in that. He was thinking that last night was a dream. It really seemed like a dream. It was too good to be real, to be true, and he was not able to believe all that had happened between us.
- And what you dreamed? May I know? - I asked, hugging and giving a kiss on his neck. He was just wrapped in that towel, and this left me completely crazy about him. I could feel the water running down his back.
- I'd rather not say. Who knows someday it might become reality?
I let go of his hug and walked towards the door.
- Are you leaving now? Don’t you want to stay to have breakfast with me? - He asked me with a sad voice.
- I wanted to know what you dreamed. - I said approaching the door and closing it slowly. Giving the hint that I was not getting ready to leave, I was preparing to stay.
- What are you doing, Ems? Why did you shut the door? - He seemed to not quite believe what was happening. He hadn’t understood yet that the events of the previous night were not dreams or delusions, were real. But I also would not judge him. Who knows how many times he had such delusions about me before?
- It was not a dream, Matt. You were not hallucinating. - I said, after shutting the door and walking towards him. The scent of the soap that came off his skin was wonderful. I wanted that feeling again of fullness that he had given me, and I owed it to him. If he thought it had all been a dream, then that was the time to show that everything was real. I wanted again, I wanted more. I wanted to be his again.
- You mean I was not dreaming? We...
- Yes, Matt - I was putting my arms around his neck. - Everything was real. Yesterday we had our first time. My first time, and it was magical. All that happened was real, and I just want you to know that I'll never leave you. Whatever happens, our love will withstand everything.
He just hugged me. Hugged me, with love, with passion. All his feelings were employed in that hug. I felt that we were one. Our fates had crossed paths, intertwined, and that was no going back. There was no use in trying to escape or take another direction. Were meant to be together. He and I, I and he.
We kissed, I hugged him with all my love and said in his ear, softly, how much I loved him, and he was the love of my life. In exchange I heard him tell me the same things he had said the night before. He told me I was the woman of his life and that no matter what, he would never leave me or get away from me. That our love would survive all odds, and that even death couldn’t separate us, because our love was eternal, was epic.
I went down my hands behind his back as he kissed me. Quietly I removed his towel, letting it fall.
- What are you doing? - He asked me smiling, the way he came into the world, hugging me.
- The question is not what I'm doing, but what we'll do. - I r
eplied, kissing and falling on bed with him.
CHAPTER 16
Mat managed to recover quickly. After that day I never went back to his house because I didn’t want to meet Mr. Lucas. Even though he was sick I still felt better to avoid an encounter. I didn’t know how to deal with a bipolar person, as many people don’t know how to deal with a blind person.
He returned to attend my house normally and our romance was going great. Suzan also visited me constantly increasing her friendship with Jason. He tried to somehow win the girl, but she just wanted his friendship. It was one of those cases where only one of your friends is interested, and the other isn’t.
Recess of my work was going fast, and I had lost a good part of the days with this story of the fight with Matt, his illness, the case of the family, and everything else.
Also, I talked to my mother about what had happened. Told that had already happened my first time with Mat and I was very happy. I haven’t told many details, of course, but I told them the most important facts. I was not a virgin anymore. The first question she asked was if we had used a condom. My mother was always very open with me, since I had my first period when she talked about the changes that would happen in my body, explained where babies come from, talked about the fact of teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and all the information all mothers should talk to their children.
Our family has always been very open to dialogue. My mother was my best friend, and I realized that it happened between Jason and Dad. They were more comfortable having certain conversations. I believe Jason stay more comfortable talking about certain things with a man than with mom, just like me, I felt more open to talk to my mother than my father, although I'm sure he would not be very comfortable to know that his little girl had initiated sexual life.
Mom made sure to schedule a gynecologist soon after, so we could have a correctly accompaniment. Contraceptive use, routine tests, and all these things that is interesting and important to a woman. I always went to the gynecologist, since my menarche, like is called the girl's first period, but now with this beginning of a sex life, it happened a new stage in my life, and every care was very important.
She scheduled it for two days later. There, Dr. Mendes asked if I would feel better to talk in private, but there was no need, since my mother knew exactly everything that happened in my life. He did a series of tests and he asked me what kind of birth control I would prefer; orally or the feared injections. I never really liked this idea of syringes, needles and sharp things in contact with my skin. Once I was sick and it was a struggle for one nurse to put me a serum. Of course I chose the pills. That should be taken exactly the same times. He also told me exactly when I should start taking; from the first day of my period, the first two months my body would adapt to the medication, and that I didn’t even dream of forgetting the condom. So much complication! Moreover, he warned that I should continue with the use of condoms, which not only protects from unwanted pregnancy but also STD.
***
Another week was coming to an end when Matt suddenly arrived at my house with a surprise invitation.
- We will travel this weekend. - There wasn’t a question or a request for my parents. It was a statement. He was saying that we were going to travel.
- What do you mean “travel”? - I asked, not understanding what he was talking about.
- Travelling, hours. We'll take some time away, enjoy your vocation. We leave tomorrow and come back at the end of next week. A week for us, the last week of vacation deserves to be enjoyed somehow.
I didn’t have much to say. I was at home with nothing to do, my vacation ending. It would be a great idea to travel with Matt taking time to have some fun.
- All right - I said hugging him and kissing him - and where are we going, may I know?
- All possible places - he told me - let's see where fate takes us. - And turned me into the room, giving a belly laugh.
I spent that day anxious, not knowing where Mat would take me. I didn’t worry too much about the destination, after all, being with him was always something special. At night he didn’t come to see me. I believe it was on purpose to make me even more curious about what would happen.
The next day he came to my house around 8:30 am. I was still asleep, didn’t know we were traveling so early. I woke up with him kissing me and waking me up.
- Wake up lazy – he said after hug me and lie next to me – Did you forget that we are going to travel?
- If you still that close to me, then I will not want to leave this bed at all. - I said laughing, kissing his face, he had finished speaking he loved me very softly in my ear.
I stood up then, but not so fast. I stayed for about 20 minutes hugging him. It was nice to have my body next to Mat’s. So I got up, went to take a bath while he went down with my bags. My mother had separated enough clothes for me to spend a year in Japan, not to mention the fear she had that I starve because only that would explain the amount of pies, cakes, cookies and other things which she had prepared for us to eat on the trip.
- Darling, I put some condoms in your nécessaire and an alarm clock that will indicate the time to take the pill. - My mother whispered in my ear when I said goodbye to her on the doorstep.
I think I must have been as red as a tomato. My mother knew all of my life, we talked about every fact that happened to me, but that confidence meant that she was a bit indiscreet at times. I don’t know if Matt got to hear what she had just told me, but what I know is that I was completely ashamed to think that my mother would know that in the next days I put my sex life in practice. One thing is I reckon I've done, it is quite another I know that that night, for example, my mother might think that I'm doing something right at that moment.
- Take care of my daughter, boy! - Said dad giving me a hug and shaking hands with Matt - And you take care of him too. - He said laughing, showing a bit of his humor.
- Next trip you have to take Suzan and me together. - Jason spoke, he could not miss the opportunity to try to force a more "caliente" approach with my sister-in-law, who was also present along with Mat and gave me a big hug making thousand recommendations to care of her brother.
- I took Dad's car - Mat said watching me and opening the door to let me in - it was the least he could do after that night.
I just laughed. I got in the car and he stepped on the accelerator. I didn’t know where we were going and he also would not tell me. Deep down I knew it would be cool, I would have an unforgettable week. As was usual, Mat would surprise me once again, or twice, or three times…
After about an hour and a half of trip he stopped the car. I rode with the window open a little getting wind that blew in my face and threw my hair back.
- Have you ever driven, Ems? - He asked me, after having parked the car.
- Of course not. What a question! - It was the first dumb question that he had done. How a blind could drive?
- Do you want to try?
I didn’t understand anything. Did Matt want me to run over someone or cause an accident, or something similar? Was he going mad?
- Do you want to try, Ems?
- No. I don’t. I know what my limits are, Matt. And driving is something I know I can never do.
- You can do anything you dream of, Ems. There are no limits, no barriers. And today you're driving.
He spoke with a certainty that made me start to believe that I really could do everything I wanted. I was not angry with him, I had just noticed that he was not mocking or making a bad joke. Mat wanted to do one more surprise, and I was curious to see how he was thinking about doing that.
- This is a ghost road. Nobody uses it anymore, it was abandoned long ago. I want you to feel like what is driving, and without worrying. I'll be your eyes and I will guide you in this adventure.
I didn’t know whether to accept or not. He said the road was abandoned, it didn’t have any risk. What was I afraid of? The most that could happen was for me to scare Mat.
&
nbsp; - Okay - I said trying to demonstrate safety - if you really want me to do it.
I switched places with him in the car. It was a funny moment, our bodies touching, I was going over and under him. I took the opportunity to steal a kiss, when I realized that our faces were closer.
- Put your seatbelt. - Mat spoke with a funny voice. It was almost as if he was beginning to regret the idea itself.
- Do you know a prayer? - I said as I placed my hands on the wheel and gave a laugh of Cruella De Vil planning to steal the Dalmatians.
- I already have all of them in mind. - He replied with a slight smile coming from the corner of his mouth. - I hope I don’t regret it. Do not kill us, Ems, I still have many plans for the future.
In the following steps he explained each item of the car. There were three pedals, one for the brake to the accelerator and another one for clutch. Moreover, he told me about five-speed that I had no idea what they were for.
- Put the gear in the first, release the clutch slowly and go accelerating. - He told me, as if I fully understood what he was saying. – Don’t press the accelerator again, go slowly.
I was still flying. I had no idea what he meant with this thing of “gear”, release clutch and step on the accelerator slowly. I never had the slightest interest in knowing how to drive. The only thing that interested me was that the car ran and had someone to take me to places that I wanted.
Mat realized that I was more wrapped than toilet paper on sale and began to explain things more calmly. He told me about the function of each of these pedals, the difference between that amount of gears and how I should handle each one.
After a lot of teaching, even having him as a teacher I must confess it was very boring, I could start the car. I kind of ran without knowing what I was doing. The only thing I really wanted to make sure to know where it was… Was the brake, in case he shouted and I needed to stop before a serious accident happens.
At first I just followed straight, until I started doing some curves.
Shooting Stars Don't Say Goodbye Page 16