“I can’t promise I’ll never sigh when I’m upset.”
“Then if you’re not upset with me, Nora, or Sep, we should be alright.”
“But when people live in the same house, they’re bound to get on each other’s nerves. What if I sigh then?”
“Then I’ll have to dump more cold water on you.”
At that, he laughed. She probably would, too. “You know, you’re a real spitfire when you want to be.” And he had to admit, he didn’t mind that so much. Setting the brake, he said, “I’ll put the sleigh and horses away.” He got down and held his hands out to help April down so she could keep Nora in her arms. “Sep, will you take in the presents?”
Sep nodded and grabbed the stack of gifts.
As April and Sep went into the house, he hopped into the sleigh. After he took care of the horses and sleigh, he went into the house and noticed the smell of hot chocolate in the kitchen. He hung up his coat and hat, put away his gloves, and took off his boots before he went to the kitchen table and sat next to Sep.
“Would you like a cup?” April asked.
“Sure would,” he replied. “Where’d you put the gifts, Sep?”
“In the parlor,” Sep said before he finished his cup of hot chocolate.
“Good.” He took the cup April offered him and glanced at Nora who snacked on a cookie. “I hope no one minds if I take that large blanket my ma made.”
April poured her own cup of coffee and shrugged. “I figured you’d want it since it fits the bed.”
Since Sep was in the room, he decided not to mention what he wanted to do with it. For the moment, April could assume he meant to put it on the bed. When he warmed up and finished his drink, he took the blanket, along with a couple of other items he found around the house, and made a divider in his and April’s bedroom. By the time he was done, April brought Nora in to get her ready for bed.
“What is this?” she asked, holding Nora and staring at the blanket that acted as a wall between the crib and their bed.
“This is Nora’s temporary room,” he replied, motioning to the space where the crib sat. “She’ll still end up in the third bedroom, but we won’t rush it. I understand it’s going to take some time before you’re ready to put her in there, so for the time being, this will offer us some privacy.”
He waited to see if she would argue that the arrangement wasn’t to her liking, but she nodded and turned to take care of Nora. Satisfied, he left the room to help Sep finish up the remaining chores for the day.
An hour later, he returned to the room and placed the gifts specifically for April on the dresser. His sisters and sisters-in-law sure went out of their way to lavish feminine items on her. He had no idea what half the gifts were for, and he didn’t care to either. The kerosene lamp was turned low in the room, but he could tell April was already asleep by the gentle rise and fall of her back which was turned toward him.
He tiptoed to the partition and pushed the blanket aside to check on Nora. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted, and her expression as content as a baby could get. He went over to the crib and brought the blanket up to her chin. She turned her head in his direction but remained asleep. He was surprised he’d developed such an attachment to the baby as soon as he had, but he was used to his nephews and nieces so maybe it came naturally.
It was strange to know he walked into this house to check on a sick child only to find himself in the role of her father a couple days later. He shook his head at the wonder of it all. It was easy to like Nora. She was a baby and had nothing to do with him getting married. And today he saw a side of April that made him think having a wife might not be so bad after all. It certainly had been nice to hold her during the gift exchange. He no longer felt like the odd man out as he often felt whenever the family got together and he saw his brothers and sisters with their families. He didn’t realize a part of him had been incomplete until now, though he’d rather die than admit it to anyone, especially Tom who’d given him grief in the past about how lonely he had to be without a good woman to come home to.
He turned his attention back to Nora and saw part of April in her. He had no idea what April’s first husband looked like, but he figured some of him had to be in Nora’s face as well. It seemed to him, though, that with his nieces and nephews, each child took after either their mother or father more, and judging by the similarities between April and Nora, he figured Nora took after April more. When April had his children, he wondered which ones would look more like him and which would look more like her.
He shook his head, wondering what Tom would think if he knew Joel was actually entertaining the notion of having children. Patting Nora on the head, he left her section of the room and got undressed. The thought did occur to him to go to bed naked and see what happened in the middle of the night, but he sensed the timing wasn’t right. He and April had made a significant move in a positive direction, and he wasn’t going to rush things tonight. Maybe tomorrow night.
After he slipped into his night clothes, he settled next to her in bed. Unlike the other nights, he didn’t turn away from her. This time, he drew her back to his chest and wrapped his arm around her. He knew he’d get little sleep by doing this, but he hadn’t been sleeping that well anyway. It’d be pointless to tell his anxious body to calm down because nothing was going to happen tonight. He was hard and ready for her, and no doubt, his body would be relentless in bothering him. Oh well. He’d gone twenty-two years without it, and one more night wasn’t going to kill him.
Getting as comfortable as possible, he closed his eyes and sighed. He opened his eyes, wondering if she heard him sigh, yet again, and if she would comment, but she didn’t. Her breathing remained steady and slow, so perhaps she was still asleep and spared from what she considered to be the agony of listening to him sigh. He fought the urge to laugh. If he thought about it, it was funny that such a simple thing should bother her. And for some strange reason, he actually thought it was cute when she imitated his sighs. He knew she did it to make a point, but her expression was of a person who was so flabbergasted she didn’t know how else to respond to him.
Maybe tomorrow would turn out as well as, if not better, than today. He’d like it if it did. Even things with Sep hadn’t been so bad, minus the punch to the jaw. The kid didn’t have enough strength to do any serious damage, but he sure had a temper. Joel needed to teach Sep how to control his emotions so he didn’t fly off the handle. If Sep did that to the wrong man, he might end up hurt or dead.
One thing at a time. Nothing was going to happen overnight. Today was a step in the right direction, but it was just one step. Patience, Joel. Just like when recovering from an illness, this is going to take awhile. Content with the reminder, he managed to doze off.
***
When April woke up the next morning, she became aware that someone was holding her. She’d never been held through the night. In fact, she hadn’t been held much at all, not unless Harvey was having sex with her. Otherwise, he felt no need to engage in physical contact. After they married, all touching led to one thing.
But Joel had held her yesterday at his parents’ house and then again through the night. She liked it. She liked being held without having to do anything else. It was a pleasant change, and if she could remain like this for the rest of her life, she’d be the most content woman who ever lived.
She stayed in bed as dawn broke over the horizon. Though she heard Sep go down the stairs to do the morning chores, she decided to hold off on making something warm to drink. Instead, she snuggled closer to Joel. He sighed, something that didn’t surprise her, and tightened his hold on her.
“Are you awake?” she whispered.
“Yes,” he replied, his voice soft enough so that he wouldn’t wake Nora.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough.” He kissed the top of her head and added, “Yesterday was nice, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.” She wondered why he kissed her, and on
the head of all places. “Your family is big.”
He chuckled. “And getting bigger all the time.” He nudged her to roll over, and after considering it, she did so that she was facing him. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her lightly on the lips. “My mother could have a hundred grandkids, and she’d still want more.”
She struggled to push down her apprehension. He was talking about grandchildren for his mother and his erection was pressing into her abdomen. It didn’t take much to figure out where this was leading. She just didn’t know if she was ready for it. Not that she had to do anything in the act anyway except spread her legs, but after the pleasant day yesterday and then being held all night, she was hoping they could just enjoy more holding. However, he was a man, and men had different needs from women. She understood that. She just wished it didn’t have to hurt the woman. If she was wise, she’d let him take what he wanted. Maybe then, he’d be willing to hold her again. To ask him to just hold her instead of going further might make things go back to how they were before yesterday, and that was something she didn’t want either.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes while he kissed her again. At least he wasn’t a sloppy, wet kisser like Harvey had been. Sometimes it’d taken all her willpower not to gag when Harvey kissed her, especially when there was alcohol on his breath. With Joel, she didn’t mind the kissing so much. His lips were soft and she didn’t feel rushed to open her mouth to accept his tongue. In fact, the kiss lasted a few seconds before he rolled onto his back and he encouraged her to settle her head on his shoulder.
She wanted to ask what he was doing but then thought better of it. If he wasn’t going to go further, she wasn’t going to suggest it. With one arm around her shoulders, he gave her a light squeeze that could only be interpreted as a hug. With his free hand, he took her hand and held it over his chest.
“What do you want to do today?” he asked, his voice quiet in the still room.
“Uh…” She took her attention off of the way he caressed the palm of her hand with his thumb and said, “I don’t know. Do you go back out to your parents the day after Christmas?”
“Liked being there that much?”
She shrugged. “I might still have trouble knowing who is who, but it was nice over there.”
“I’m glad you think so.” He kissed the top of her head again and sighed. “I thought if it’s warm enough, it might be nice to go for a sleigh ride. It looks like it’ll be cloudy so the sunlight won’t hurt our eyes. Right after my family moved to Nebraska, my parents would take us on sleigh rides around Christmas. We didn’t have the land to do that back in New York.” He laughed and rubbed her arm. “Sometimes they’d stop so we could build snowmen, and sooner or later, there’d be a snowball fight.”
“Did you start it?” she asked.
“Only when I was old enough to know I had a good chance of winning. Before that, I learned to be close to our mother because no one ever threw a snowball in her direction.”
“I bet they didn’t.”
“Nope. No one ever messed with Ma. She’d have our hides.”
She chuckled.
“So, what do you think? How about going on a sleigh ride? If we bundled Nora up, she could play in the snow.”
“Oh, but it’s so cold.”
“That’s the point of snow. It’s supposed to be cold.”
“I don’t know. She’s only a year old.”
“She’ll be fine. As long as we bring lots of blankets and have the foot warmer going, she won’t get nasopharyngitis.”
Startled, she lifted her head so she could look at him. “She won’t get what?”
“Nasopharyngitis.” With a sly grin, he added, “It means a cold.”
“Why, that is the strangest term I ever heard for it.”
“I know. That’s why I said it.”
She nudged him in the side and laughed. “You’re using that fancy doctor talk on me.”
“What good are the terms I had to memorize if I can’t use them?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her before he kissed her again. “As much as I’d like to spend all day in bed talking to you, I don’t feel right letting Sep take care of all the chores by himself.” He brushed her cheek with his fingers, the action a mere whisper across her skin. “We’ll take that sleigh ride after lunch when it’s warmer.”
She nodded, surprised that he wasn’t going to do anything else with her. He kissed her and held her and didn’t demand she have sex with him. She wondered if she should thank him for being tender with no expectations on his end, but she wasn’t sure how to adequately express it so she didn’t.
As he slipped out of bed, Nora stirred in her crib. With a gleam in his eye, he whispered, “I think Nora heard us talk about the sleigh.”
Amused, she got out of bed and moved the blanket aside so she could reach the crib. Nora yawned and opened her eyes. Picking her up, April smoothed her daughter’s disheveled hair and kissed her cheek. She waited until Joel was dressed before she emerged from Nora’s side of the partition.
“I’ll get a pot of coffee going and then head out,” Joel said.
“Alright,” she replied as she went over to grab a new cloth diaper from the pile on the edge of the dresser.
Joel patted Nora’s back. “If you’re good, I’ll let you eat some snow.”
April grimaced. “Eating snow?”
“Sure. All kids like to eat snow. Didn’t you do that when you were a kid?”
“I don’t remember doing it.”
“Hmm… I suppose we’ll have to let you eat some, too.”
She highly doubted that she’d be eating snow later today, but he stepped out of the room before she could voice her opinion on the matter. “I think he’s a strange man,” she told Nora. With a smile, she added, “But in a good way.” Listening to him whistle as he headed down the steps, she grinned and shook her head. “In a very good way.”
Turning her attention back to her daughter, she grabbed the diaper and got her ready for the day.
Chapter Sixteen
April stood by Sep while Joel pulled the sleigh up to the house. Nora pointed to him and called out, “Joe, Joe!”
“Yes, honey. That’s your pa,” she replied, figuring the sooner Nora got used to referring to him as her father, the better.
“Why does he want to go for a sleigh ride again?” Sep asked.
“To do something fun as a family,” she said.
Joel got out of the sleigh and headed toward the porch.
“It seems like a waste of time to me,” Sep mumbled.
“He’s trying, Sep. He wants to be part of our family, and this is his way of showing that. I think it’s sweet.”
He rolled his eyes. ‘Sure you do. You’re a woman.”
“Well, he’s a man, and it was his idea.”
Sep shrugged but didn’t comment.
With a grin on his face, Joel bounded up the porch steps. “Are you ready?”
“No,” Sep began, “we’re just standing here because we want to stay home.”
Shooting him an amused look, Joel said, “Very clever joke, Sep.” He held his arms out to Nora, and Nora was more than happy for April to hand her over so she did. “I know you’re ready,” he told Nora and tapped her nose. “April?”
She accepted the hand he extended to her and went down the steps, careful to avoid the small patch of ice to her right. Sep followed and stopped when they reached the sleigh. April got in first and Sep sat beside her. Still carrying Nora, Joel went to the other side of the sleigh and sat next to April.
“I have to give you back to your ma,” Joel told Nora.
April took her and bundled her under the two blankets Joel and Sep spread out over their bodies. The foot warmer was close to her feet, taking the edge off the cold around them. Joel glanced at her and winked. Blushing, she turned her gaze to Sep who pulled the top blanket up to his chin and stared straight ahead.
“It’ll be fun,” she whispered to her brother.
He shrugged.
Turning her attention to Joel, she said, “You’re right about the cloudy sky making it easier to be out here. You know, so we don’t have to squint so much.”
Smiling, Joel put his arm around her shoulders and drew her to his side. His body was solid and warm, just as it was at night. She loved the way she felt when he held her. Safe, protected, cherished. She also experienced a strange fluttering sensation in her chest. She wondered if he noticed something similar when he held her. If she was comfortable enough with him, she’d ask him. But as it was, this was all brand new, and since he was willing to adapt to their marriage, she’d do what she could to work with him.
Nora sat up on April’s lap and watched the scenery as Joel drove the sleigh along the flat land. They spotted a few animals along the way, but April hardly paid them any mind. She was acutely aware that Joel’s thigh touched hers and that her arm was tucked nicely into his side. At one point, he even kissed her cheek. She glanced at Sep to see if he saw it, but Sep had his eyes closed and had slouched down so his head rested against the back of the seat. She didn’t mind. It allowed her a moment of privacy with her husband.
Ten minutes passed before Joel removed his arm from her shoulders and pulled back on the reins. She sat up and Sep straightened in the seat. Examining the endless miles of snow around them, Sep said, “I thought we were home.”
Joel chuckled and set the brake. “Half the fun is the sleigh ride. The other half is getting out and playing in the snow.”
Sep grimaced. “Playing in the snow?”
“Sure. Nora here needs to experience the joys of being a child.” Turning his gaze to April, he asked, “Is she bundled up enough?”
April nodded.
He took Nora in his arms. “Ready to get out?”
“Yes,” April replied and followed him off the sleigh.
“Come on, Sep,” Joel called out.
Sep, who remained in the sleigh, shook his head. “I’m too old to play in the snow.”
Shotgun Groom Page 13