by Aria Scott
Surfer dudes. They lived for the waves like I’d lived for football. Their whole lives were about catching a ride, just like mine had been about catching a football. The difference was, no one could take the ocean from them, while someone had already taken football from me.
Suddenly I envied them. I envied their freedom, their dedication. Without quite realizing it, I stood up and walked over to the window. Then I stood there and watched them. I looked at the beach in front of them, and helplessly remembered the time I had walked in that very spot with Aubrey’s hand in mine.
God, she was so beautiful. So goddamned sexy, and so sweet, inside and out. It had taken me weeks to realize how precious she was to me, and now that I’d realized it, I’d lost her. Just like I’d lost football. I’d seen the look in her eyes when she’d come to the jail to bail me out—the disappointment, the disgust, and a barely-hidden pity that had felt like a knife in my gut. I knew it was over. I knew she wanted her money, and wanted out.
And she’d earned both. She’d done her part. She’d played my game. Now she deserved to be paid and let go, as we’d both agreed to in our ‘contract.’ I was the fool for losing my heart in the process. I should have remembered it was ‘just business’ between us. It had always been something fake, no matter how real it had felt at the time.
My mood slipped lower and lower, until I felt nearly stooped over with regret. What was it about me, that made people want to fuck me over? And why was it always about money? First Simone, and now Joe Caifano and Tillman...who was next?
Another memory crept into my mind: a silky red curtain of hair falling over her shoulders as she’d climbed on top of me and rode me, the way she’d purred my name as I’d kissed every inch of her skin and then buried myself inside her. And then, that last fight we’d had at the jail, and how she’d looked at me...with the love gone from her eyes.
I opened my hand, pressed it against the window, reaching for the beach, for the woman I’d once walked there with. But cold glass blocked my hand. It reminded me that I’d never touch her again, and never see her again.
Forever I’d be reaching for a memory that hadn’t even been real in the first place.
Chapter 22
Aubrey
I washed my hands at the washing station before I headed from the dog playroom to the café portion of the building where Dakota was working.
Dakota was wiping down the counter. “How’s Duke doing?”
Duke was our newest rescue dog. Since I’d returned home to Grove and opened the adoption café, I’d taken on three emergency rescues. I’d also relieved Gage Wilder of the dogs that he had taken in for me while I was in Miami.
I sat down on a stool at the counter. “He’s behaving much better. He just needed a little TLC. He’s a good boy at heart. Is the morning rush over?”
“Yes, just a few stragglers will come in now until noon. We’re getting busier every day. Just the regular commuting crowd that stops in for coffee on their way to work will end up covering our salaries.” Lisa tossed down the rag and then joined me at the counter. “Speaking of the customers – many of them are requesting stuff beyond the basics that we have available here. They’re asking for bagels and donuts and all kinds of stuff.”
Chase had picked a great location for the Canine Café. Not only was the building and land perfectly suited for our needs, but it was located on a heavily-traveled road that hundreds of commuters took each day. Apparently, there were very few convenient coffee stops along the way.
I sighed. “I wish they were more interested in the dogs than breakfast.”
“Well, we’re still really new. Word of mouth will start to spread. And the customers are putting tips in the donation jar for the animals, so that’s good.”
“Yes, that’s good,” I agreed. “But I don’t want this to turn into a bakery. I’ve been doing some research online and I’ve reached out to someone who runs an adoption café in Miami. She’s given me all sorts of ideas on how to reach out to the community. Wine parties and different events – all to draw the right clientele to us.”
“Miami?” Dakota knit her brows. “Is that where Chase got the idea for this place? I’ve never heard of an adoption café before.”
As it had been for the last few weeks, as soon as Dakota brought Chase’s name up I grew uncomfortable. “I suppose so. It’s a clever way to get around the zoning issues and ordinances. And he knew this was a dream of mine.”
Dakota could tell the subject of Chase was obviously a sore spot with me, but she really didn’t know why. I didn’t confide in her the details of our fake marriage arrangement and apparently Chase hadn’t either; our breakup was still too painful for me to talk about. After our debacle of a wedding night, Chase had somehow managed to keep everything out of the media. As far as I knew, Dakota only knew that Chase had spent his wedding night in jail and she believed that to be part of the reason for our separation.
Plenty of people knew the truth, though. It was only a matter of time before the whole sordid affair was exposed. All this misery, and I had gained nothing. Our spectacular breakup had only highlighted how far I had deceived myself.
I had foolishly lost my heart to Chase, only to have it badly broken, just like I had known all along it would be. Somehow I had managed to delude myself into believing that Chase had developed feelings for me – real feelings, not just sexual feelings. It had been a real punch in the gut to discover the truth when our ruse was discovered.
In an effort to survive the pain, I’d been spending all my free time getting the Canine Café up and running. I worked for about twelve hours a day, rather than go home and face my heartache. Couple that with being around Chase’s sister day after day, pretending that everything was fine, had me feeling edgy and depressed. At home, even Jax and Molly couldn’t comfort me during my crying jags.
Even though the Canine Café was everything I could have ever wanted, all it did was remind me of Chase. This hadn’t been a part of our deal. He had done this for me because he knew it was my dream – and now, that only hurt more.
I desperately wanted to shake myself out of this morose feeling. This place was the culmination of my dream - it gave me the ability to save some animals and I was able to spend my day doing what I loved. It was also the perfect jump-off point for me to become credentialed to train service dogs. So, why was I so damn depressed? I had everything I ever wanted.
I hopped off the stool. “I need to check up on a new potential rescue. I got a call from a shelter two towns over. I’ll be out for most of the afternoon, but I’ll be back in time to walk the dogs. Can you handle the café on your own?”
“Sure, go do what you need to do.”
I knew one thing for sure. I’d never have any trouble finding rescues. It was adopting them out that I had to work on. I hoped that once I built up a trusted reputation and developed more connections, that adopting dogs out wouldn’t be so difficult.
After I met with the shelter and agreed to take on the skittish pitbull mix that they were mere days from euthanizing, I headed back to the café. I had driven the longer way back into Grove and tried to enjoy the ride on the beautiful late summer day. It wasn’t until I saw the familiar sign up ahead that read ‘Clearwater River Ranch’ that I realized why I had chosen this route back to work.
Ever since our wedding day, I had carried around the promise ring Chase’s mother had given to me like a good luck charm. I had been clinging to the hope that Chase would call me and say everything had all been a big misunderstanding. It was time to let go of that false hope.
I turned my car into the long gravel driveway leading to the ranch where Chase grew up. I had been putting off returning the promise ring, because I had been too embarrassed to face Mary. A sense of anxiety washed over me as the house came into sight. I didn’t want to do this, but I felt I had to.
I parked in front of the house and forced myself to get out of the car. What had Chase told his mother? What kind of questions would she as
k me? I wondered what I would see in her eyes when she answered the door. Hatred? Disdain?
No one answered after I rang the doorbell. I nervously waited for a few minutes, growing more uneasy by the second. When I concluded that no one seemed to be home, I let out a shaky breath of relief. I had just started retreating down the porch steps when the door swung open.
Mary’s smile was friendly and welcoming. “Why, hello Aubrey! Come on in.”
Her pleasant demeanor helped, but I was still really nervous. I followed her into the house.
“Come on back to the kitchen. I was just going to make myself a cup of tea. Would you like a cup? Or I could make coffee if you prefer?”
“Tea would be great. Thanks.”
I watched as she efficiently flitted about the kitchen putting the teakettle on and gathering the cups, sugar and creamer on the kitchen island.
“How’s the café going? Dakota is so excited about it. She’s already talking expansion!” Mary laughed and then continued, “I’ve been planning to visit soon. First, I just wanted to give you a chance to settle in before I came and snooped around.”
My fingers found the promise ring in my pocket and fiddled with it as I answered. “Oh, it’s going great. And you can visit anytime. Really.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see it. It’s such a unique idea.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially and continued, “And don’t tell him I told you this, but I’m pretty sure that Gage is thinking about adopting one of your rescues.”
“He is!” It was the first good news I’d heard in weeks. “That would be terrific.”
The teakettle began to whistle. Mary poured the hot water into our cups. “He really took a shine to that black and white mutt, Gizmo. He got used to having him around, I guess.”
Silence fell over the kitchen as we fixed our tea. I hadn’t known what to expect from Mary when I stopped by, but I certainly hadn’t been expecting such a friendly chat. I couldn’t think up a graceful way to bring up the promise ring, so I just took a breath and dove right in.
I took the ring, still on its chain, and placed it carefully on the countertop in front of me. “Mary, I want to return this ring to you. Your parents’ love story is such a beautiful one, and this ring should stay in your family. I’m…” I could barely meet her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t speak for the longest time. I could see the disappointment on her face. “So, you’re just going to give up then?”
I felt thoroughly ashamed that I had deceived this kind-hearted woman. I wasn’t even sure how much Chase had told her. “I don’t think you understand. Chase is not interested in a relationship with me.”
“Says who?”
I blinked at the challenge in her tone. “Well… Chase.”
She shook her head in denial. “Did Chase tell you that?”
I took a sip of my tea, giving myself time to gather my thoughts. “Not really, in so many words, but it’s more complicated than that.”
Mary’s eyebrows arched questioningly. “You’re making it more complicated. Do you love him?”
The conversation was getting more awkward by the second. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from my teacup.
Mary sighed. “Look, honey, I know all about the marriage contract business. Chase didn’t want to tell me, but I found out by accident before the wedding. Let’s put all that aside, because it isn’t important. Just tell me, Aubrey, do you love him?”
I didn’t know how to answer. If she knew all about our fake marriage arrangement, why was she even asking me this?
She shook her head bitterly. “Maybe I was mistaken. I thought I saw real love between the two of you. So, you did marry Chase for the money then?”
My head jerked up. “No! Maybe I agreed to his mad scheme, at first, because of the money. I barely knew him when he asked me. I really didn’t think it’d matter; we were both getting something we needed out of it and I didn’t think it’d hurt anyone. But, I’m ashamed of all that now.”
“You’re ashamed? Why? Is it because Chase lost his football contract and you got paid anyway?”
I pushed away my teacup. “No. I feel awful for Chase. I know how devastated he was to lose that contract. If I had known how much this charade would hurt him- hurt both of us…”
I pleaded with my eyes, begging Mary to understand me, but she didn’t say a word.
“You asked me if I loved Chase. The answer is that I ended up falling in love with him, despite myself. Even though the whole thing was a fake. I fell hard and now I have to pick up the pieces. It’s all really rather humiliating, Mary. I was such a fool.”
“Aubrey!” Mary’s face broke into a huge grin. “I knew it!”
She circled around the kitchen island to where I was sitting and wrapped me in a hug. “You are a big fool. You’re both big fools. The only thing standing between the two of you is pride. Foolish, youthful pride.”
I cautiously returned her hug, my mouth hung open with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
She untangled her arms from me and pulled up the stool next to mine and sat. “Let me tell you a little something about Chase. He was once with a woman who he thought he loved very much. She was a cold-hearted woman – I could see right through her. She was no good for him, but even though it’s painful, sometimes you have to let your children make their own mistakes.”
Mary tapped her fingers on the counter. “He was blinded by her beauty and fooled by her sweet words, but I could see how cruel she really was. I should have said something to Chase, but even I had no idea what she’d do.”
I felt my stomach clench. “What did she do?”
Mary continued, “I’d never seen my son hurt so much as when she ran off with another man, but I was secretly relieved. I knew that he’d eventually get over his broken heart. But,” she shook her head sadly, “I don’t think he ever got over what happened next.”
I held my breath.
“The next day, Chase found out that she had cleaned out his bank accounts before she took off. That betrayal just about crushed him.”
“Oh my God! That’s awful. What did Chase do?”
Mary shook her head. “He didn’t do anything. I think that was a big mistake, but he just wanted to forget about the whole thing. He let her get away with it. The scam she pulled on him changed him profoundly.”
I could only imagine how much an awful deception like that must have hurt a proud man like Chase.
“I know he hasn’t gotten over that betrayal. I still believe he has a bit of a trust issue when it comes to money. Paying you to become his bride was so stupid. I’m sure he thought he could handle it – guys are macho like that. They think they’re emotionally stronger than us women.”
My mind was racing a mile a minute trying to process what Mary was telling me. If Chase was so sensitive about the money thing, why had he been practically throwing it at me?
Mary patted my shoulder. “Somewhere along the way, Chase lost his heart to you. Just like you did with him.”
I shook my head in denial, but Mary continued, “and it scared him bad. He was scared that it wasn’t real. That he didn’t have the judgment to know if you loved him or his money. That you would take the money and walk away just like Simone did.”
I was stunned. “You think Chase loves me?”
“Yes, I do. Like I said before, fear and pride are both of your own worst enemies. So, honey, I want you to hold onto that promise ring I gave you and return it to me only if things don’t work out. But, promise me that you’ll give it a try. You need to talk to Chase and tell him that you love him.”
My thoughts were in a jumble when I left the Clearwater River Ranch. Mary’s revelations about Chase’s past had shocked me and left me with a lot to think about. But the question that kept running around and around inside my head was: could it be possible that Chase really loved me?
The thought left my heart racing and my veins thrumming with life. Hope took seed inside me and started growing
until it was an unstoppable force.
I arrived at the Canine Café late in the afternoon. While I was walking the dogs, I called up Lisa. I told her that an emergency had popped up and I needed to leave town for a few days. She agreed to look after my dogs and I silently vowed to pay her handsomely for being such a great friend.
As soon as I was finished at the café, I headed for home, leaving Dakota to lock up. I played with Molly and Jax for a few minutes before I started to put my plan into action.
First, I dug through my desk drawer until I found the envelope I was searching for. When I found it, I quickly addressed it and added a stamp. It was the letter, sealed and dated by Dr. Goswami, that I had written to Chase weeks ago.
The dogs accompanied me as I jogged down the long driveway to the mailbox and posted the letter. If Chase didn’t respond to this letter, which exposed my true feelings about him and proved that they had nothing to do with money, then I would know that he didn’t love me.
But no matter how he felt about me, I needed to make one thing right. After everything Chase had done for me, I owed him that. I went back inside and made a phone call. I needed to book the earliest available flight to Miami.
Getting an appointment to see John Clarke proved to be impossible. After turning me down outright, his secretary was now refusing to even talk to me. As soon as I spoke my name, she hung up on me.
I refused to give up. I decided the best way might be to just show up in person at his office. Unfortunately, the facility had tight security. Without an identification badge or an appointment, they wouldn’t even let me into the parking lot.
Discouraged, I sat in my car. A quick check on the internet confirmed that his home address wasn’t public. How could I get to this man? I tried to remember everything I knew about him. He was filthy rich, for one. Where did people with tons of money spend their time?
Then I remembered Chase telling me that once he’d been a guest of John Clarke’s at his country club. He and another teammate had played golf with the man. I couldn’t remember the name of the club, but I was sure if I heard the name, it would come back to me.