by Ragen, Naomi
She never ceased to marvel at how easy it was to make friends even if you couldn’t invite them over for ten-course gourmet meals in a palatial dining room. Abigail knew her living conditions were temporary and that eventually she would buy something larger and more modern. And yet she felt no rush to change anything. She was strangely, perfectly, content.
She and Adam spoke almost every day. In the beginning, they’d ended every conversation the same way: “When are you coming home?” he’d ask plaintively. And she would answer gently: “I am home, and I have no intention of leaving.” But finally, he’d stopped asking. Now, mostly they discussed Kayla and Daniel.
The day after Adam left for the States Kayla had broken the news that she and Daniel had also decided to go back to America. It had come completely out of left field. In Abigail’s mind, there had only been two choices: Seth and America and law school, or Daniel and Israel and no law school. Kayla and Daniel had chosen door number three. It had been hard for her to accept at first.
“But why, Kayla? Aren’t you happy here?”
“Happiness is a by-product of doing the right thing. Moving on with your life. I’ve looked into my life, and I know what I need to do now. I’m a mediocre poet and a worse archaeologist. But I was a very, very good law student. I realize it was never practicing law I rejected. I just didn’t want to practice Seth’s kind of law. It took me a while to understand that. So I’m going back to finish my degree with the same intent that I started it: to change the world, and make it more just, one lawsuit at a time. This is what I know how to do. I just have to learn how to do it better, as Rav Natan said.”
“And Daniel?”
“He’s coming with me.”
“Really?” She was stunned. “And what is he going to do in Boston?”
“Daniel has also come to realize that he loves medicine, because even if you can’t save someone, you can give them comfort and help to make whatever time they have left a blessing. And that is an awesome skill. He’s going to retrain in geriatrics, to specialize in hospices so he can help people sing their Tenth Song. In the meantime, he’s planning to get a job in a nursing home. We’ll live the student life for a while, and then who knows? It doesn’t matter.”
“You aren’t going back because of your father, are you?”
She hesitated. “I admit, partly. I owe him. But no, the decision was mine and Daniel’s, and it was made for many reasons, ninety-nine percent of them selfish.”
It was painful to know she was leaving, just as they’d become friends. But Abigail felt, instinctively, it was the right decision.
“Will you ever come back here?”
Kayla’s face lit up. “Always.”
They’d been back in the States now for two months.
“Kayla got a job working at the Family Advocacy Center. She loves the work and is putting aside money to refill the hole in her tuition account,” Adam informed her. “She’s looking forward to starting law school again in the fall.”
“Did she mention what courses she has in mind?”
“She says she’s looking at Introduction to Advocacy; Child Exploitation, Pornography, and the Internet; and Law and Social Change . . .”
“Wonderful! I spoke to Daniel also. How does he seem to you?”
“He likes his job at Beth Israel Seniors Home, even if he is only an orderly. Geriatrics seems to be the right place for him. In the meantime, he’s started studying to pass his American Medical Boards so he can go back to practicing medicine.”
“I’m so proud of him. He’s come such a long way.”
She heard him exhale.
“They are talking about a wedding.”
“Kayla told me. I understand they want to get married at the end of this coming June in Israel at that ancient synagogue near their dig. They want Rav Natan to marry them.”
“That’s only two months away!” There was a pause. “You were right about Kayla, Abby. I don’t know what happened to her in the desert, but she is a better person. And I really like Daniel.”
She was glad for him. “Are you in touch with Seth at all?”
“Not really. But I heard through the grapevine that he is seeing someone new.”
“A law student?”
“No. I think she’s a Ph.D. candidate at Boston University studying gender equality. She’s Israeli. A friend of Daniel’s sister. Kayla set them up.”
“Really?” She smiled to herself.
“Seth’s parents are having a hard time with it. They’ve called me a number of times, pushing for Seth and Kayla to get back together. And each time they call, they casually ask me for free investment advice. Apparently, there has been a drastic downturn in their income from some really bad investments . . .”
“Madoff?” she asked hopefully, relishing the idea.
“They’re not saying. But their house is in preforeclosure. Apparently it was mortgaged to the max, and their loan is now underwater. The banks are pressuring them.”
Well, well, she thought, smiling and shaking her head. “Will you be coming to see me before the wedding?”
“I . . . still have to testify, you know. So I can’t come right away. And then there are all my clients coming back, so I’m drowning in work. I’m actually thinking about hiring someone as an associate. Or even getting a partner.”
“I hate being without you. Give the house to an agent and sell it,” she told him. “Retire. Come live here, in Jerusalem, with me.”
“But . . . what about the children . . . the grandchildren?”
“How often do you actually see them now? They’ll see you just as often if you live in Jerusalem.”
“But to leave America . . . my work. Don’t you miss it?”
“Yes,” she said honestly. “Sometimes terribly. When I think about the children, my grandchildren, my students. Or when I want a library or a good steak, or a visit to Filene’s Basement . . .” She laughed. “But if I went back, I would miss my life here more.”
“Are you still in touch with that rabbi . . . ?” Adam always pretended to forget his name, holding him responsible for the upheavals in his family.
“Natan. Every once in a while, when he comes to Jerusalem to give a lecture at a little place in the center of town. We sit on the floor with big pillows, and my back aches, but my heart soars. Come, Adam,” she pleaded with him. “It’s time to let go of the past.”
He wasn’t ready. Not yet, she thought sadly, missing him. But her days of following him around, of letting him decide her life for her, were over.
She walked down the street already planning the wedding, thinking about flowers, and food, and the dress she would wear. Thinking about Adam sharing her apartment, walking to the shuk with him hand in hand early in the morning. She would teach him everything that she had learned. She would open her life and her heart to him, welcoming him in and hoping he wouldn’t want to leave.
June was not so far off.