“Yes, sir. He also has endorsements with Power Juice and Sports Mind totaling another two million annually for the next three years.”
“Do you think you’ll be ready to present this to the Darcys next week?”
I sit up straighter. “You want me to present?”
“His wife is rather insistent it be you.”
“But I’ve never presented to a client this big before.”
“You’ve been managing Miller’s account for the past year without an issue,” he argues.
Stroker is referring to my stepbrother, Buck, whose real name is Miller. Everyone has recently started calling him by his given name, but it’s an adjustment for me. I’m not quite there yet.
Usually the accounts I handle are half a million or less. The Darcys’ portfolio is far more significant. Way bigger than anything I’ve touched, apart from Buck’s accounts, and I’ve always had Mr. Stroker look at those before I make any kind of change. I don’t want to be responsible for screwing up Buck’s fortune.
“You’ve got a handle on it. Why don’t you call them and set up a meeting for next week. I’m open most mornings.”
“Okay, great. I’ll consult their game schedule and see what works best.”
“Perfect. You arrange it, check the notes I’ve made on the PowerPoint, and at the end of the week—say, Friday afternoon—I’ll set aside an hour and you can do a dry run for me so you feel prepared. How does that sound?”
“That sounds amazing, Mr. Stroker.”
“It’s just William, Violet. You can drop the formality now.”
He’s told me this before, but I find his last name entertaining. “Of course. Right, William.”
He gives Randy Balls, another one of Alex’s teammates, a run for his money with the dirty names.
“Great. Three o’clock Friday afternoon is open for me. Book the conference room with Edna on your way out.” He passes over the folder and picks up the phone, which means I’m dismissed.
I thank him and stop to set things up with his assistant on the way back to my cubicle.
Charlene is sitting at her desk, chewing her nails and pretending to do some kind of research. When she sees me she grabs my arm and yanks me into her cubicle. “Why aren’t you crying? Didn’t you get fired?”
“No. Stroker didn’t can my ass.”
Charlene sighs with relief. “I’m so sorry. He rarely comes down this way.” It’s true. Junior accountants usually only see the boss-man in the conference room on meeting Monday, which was this morning. “Let’s never take pictures like that again while we’re at work.”
“Agreed. We should have waited until I got home. Then we could’ve posed the beaver on the bed so it looks like he’s taking me from behind, or holding my boobs.”
“Such good ideas. So what did Stroker say?”
“I’m presenting to Mitch Darcy and his wife next week.”
“You’re what?” she practically screeches this, so anyone within earshot, which is most of the office, peeks their head over the edge of their cube wall.
“It’s okay, everyone. I told Charlene I’m thinking about going vegan.”
Jimmy seems to have returned from his coffee break. He looks suspicious, and rightfully so—I’m the first one to order a Philly cheesesteak when he gets takeout—but he’s on the phone, so he goes back to his call. The rest of the office is used to our ridiculousness, so they resume whatever they were doing, too.
I lower my voice to a whisper. “I get to present.”
“That’s a big account,” Charlene whispers back.
“I know.”
“That’s amazing.”
I know she means it, but I recognize the wistful look in her eyes. We’re close, but we’re still competing with each other, and with Jimmy and Dean, for a senior accountant position when it comes open. Being allowed to present to one of the bigger clients gives me an advantage over everyone else.
The people who don’t like me at the office are really going to hate me now.
2
Cardboard Cutouts
are Terrifying
VIOLET
I get a text from Alex at the end of the day telling me they’re still hours from home. I’m super disappointed. And I swear not just because I won’t get to have awesome sex after a week with only Buddy the Beaver—my super-special vibrator that actually looks like a beaver—to take care of my orgasm needs. As cute as it is, it’s a poor replacement for Alex’s dick. And the rest of Alex, too. I miss him.
Charlene checks her phone, smiling secretly. I imagine she has messages from her boyfriend, who happens to be Alex’s best friend and teammate, Darren Westinghouse.
“How’s Darren feel about bromancing it for another night with Alex?”
Charlene glances up. “Oh, uh, you know—disappointed he doesn’t get to spoon with me tonight.”
“My beaver needs something to hug, other than synthetic dick,” I grumble.
Charlene pats me on the shoulder. “You’ve waited a week. What’s another day?”
“I have MC separation anxiety.”
I don’t get how she can be so unaffected by the delay, but then Charlene and Darren’s relationship is a little weird—and not like Alex and me weird. Darren’s a quiet guy, and private, so the media attention their relationship has garnered, and all the odd speculation about it, means they’ve had a few rough patches along the way.
Plus, Charlene can be flighty. She falls out of love as fast as she falls into it. That they’ve been dating consistently, or mostly consistently, for well over half a year is actually amazing.
“Why don’t we go out for dinner somewhere? We can celebrate you getting to present the Darcy account.”
“I don’t know if I feel like it…”
“We can leave your car here. I’ll drive so you can have a drink, and I’ll drop you off at home.”
“What about tomorrow morning?”
“I’ll pick you up.”
“Really?” Charlene can barely make it to work on time as it is.
“It’s supposed to snow like this all night. If we’re late tomorrow, we can blame it on the plows,” she suggests.
I glance out the window and look down at the streets below. They’re blanketed in white, and traffic is stupid: people honking, sliding, and braking. I don’t like winter driving all that much, and definitely not with this kind of traffic. Charlene is a much better driver than me, not that I’ll ever admit that to her. Now that I don’t have anyone to go home to, I guess dinner out sounds like a decent option.
“Yeah. Okay. Maybe I should call Sunny and Lily to see if they want to join us. We can all be dickless together.” Sunny is Alex’s younger sister. She’s dating Buck. In January she moved from Guelph to Chicago, which is a cute little city in Ontario, Canada. That’s where she and Alex grew up.
Her house in Chicago was purchased by Alex. She pays rent, but instead of putting it toward the mortgage, he puts the money into an investment portfolio for her. That’s all I know about it because Stroker deals with Alex’s account directly. Which is fine. Sometimes I feel like Alex wants me to do it, but I’m not comfortable with the insane amount of money he makes. Not yet.
Seeing how well he takes care of his family tells me what I’ll be in for when we get married, and sometimes that makes me nervous. I don’t want to be responsible for investing it as well as enjoying it. Like I said, at least not yet. I mean, my yearly salary is less than the cost of the car Alex recently bought me. With cash.
Lily is Sunny’s childhood best friend who also moved to Chicago recently. She lives with Sunny, and she’s dating Randy “Balls” Ballistic, Buck’s childhood best friend and another Chicago hockey player. I call him Horny Nut Sac—sometimes to his face, sometimes behind his back. It’s super convenient that we’re all hockey hookers. We hang out a lot when the boys are traveling for away games.
I pull out my phone, ready to send Sunny a message, but Charlene puts a hand up. “I’m on it. Yo
u pack up.”
I shrug and shut down my computer, throw a few files into my laptop bag, and grab my coat. Charlene reappears at my cubicle, ready to go. “Sunny suggested we find a restaurant close to their place since they’re both already at home.”
I make a face. “It doesn’t have to be vegan, does it?” Sunny doesn’t eat animals or animal products. I don’t have a problem with this, but if I’m not getting Alex’s meat stick tonight, I might as well indulge in a burger or something equally disgusting and bloat-worthy.
“Lily says the restaurant has a wide selection. Plus, she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Sunny to drive in this weather.”
I sigh. “Fine.” It makes sense to go that way, and not just because getting downtown would take forever in this weather for Sunny and Lily. Going to them will put us halfway to Alex’s. And Sunny is a worse driver than me, which says a lot.
Charlene and I lug my stuffed beaver to the elevator. We get a few strange looks, but most of the people in our department are unfazed by us now. Charlene takes the tail, and I hold the head as we slip and slide down the slick sidewalk to the parking lot across from our building. Charlene and I should’ve parked our cars in the underground lot this morning, but there were no spots left. With Alex and Darren away, we sometimes have sleepovers and stay up too late. Then we have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Last night was one of those times.
Getting the beaver into the trunk of Charlene’s car is a feat, but after some shoving and punching, we squeeze him in.
It takes three times as long as usual to get to Sunny’s neighborhood. The traffic is terrible. I’m definitely glad I didn’t drive or we’d be in a ditch.
We end up at a cute little place that isn’t just for people who don’t eat meat. They do, however, have a nice selection of food without faces for Sunny. I browse the menu. Even with the heat on full blast in Charlene’s car, and our cozy spot in the back of the restaurant, I’m still frozen.
“Maybe I should get the French onion soup and the mozzarella sticks.”
Charlene frowns. “Is that really a good idea, Vi? Onions and cheese? Those are, like, the worst combination in the world for you.”
I’m moping because I won’t get to see Alex tonight. Eating dairy is how I cope with stress and disappointment. However, it will also cause me to moop later. Dairy is hard enough on my system; add onions to the mix and I become lethal to anyone within a ten-foot radius. “Alex won’t be home to witness the aftermath.”
Lily and Sunny exchange a look.
“Yeah, but what if the aftermath runs into tomorrow like it usually does?” Charlene says.
I ponder that for a moment, before reluctantly agreeing. “Good point.”
I decide on a burger and fries, hold the onions, but I add a glass of wine. I don’t need beer bloats to go with the burger bloats.
Sunny keeps checking her phone all through dinner, which isn’t unusual. She and Buck spend a lot of time messaging each other when he’s away—and when he’s not. They’re so in love. It’s as sweet as it is surprising. Buck used to be a huge manwhore. Like, epically slutty.
Sunny has done a great job of taming him. He’s like a big, well-groomed, fun-loving yeti when it comes to her.
After we order, we settle in with our drinks. Only Lily and I have fun ones, since Charlene is driving and Sunny isn’t much for booze.
“How’s the new job, Lily?” I ask.
Alex helped get Lily a job teaching skating to kids who are looking to go pro for hockey when she decided to move to Chicago. She’s an incredible figure skater. She should have been an Olympic contender, but money got in the way of her dream when she was a teenager. She doesn’t seem to let that hold her back, though.
“Amazing! I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about the change, but I love it. I really appreciate Alex recommending me.”
“Alex is just glad he could help.” My fiancé is amazingly generous, especially when it comes to family. While Lily isn’t technically related, she grew up with the Waters family, so she’s like a second sister to him. “I guess having unlimited access to Balls’ balls doesn’t hurt either, right?”
“Oh my God, she stays there almost every night they’re home,” Sunny supplies.
Lily blushes and looks down. “He’s great. I’m meeting his mom this weekend.”
“Really? Already? That’s crazy!” Charlene says.
Lily tucks her dark hair behind her ear and looks around the table, suddenly uncertain. “You think so?”
I kick Charlene, at least I think I do, but Sunny is the one who flinches, so I flick Charlene in the side of the boob. “It’s not crazy at all. Not everyone has to wait a year before family intros.”
“A year?” Lily’s eyes go wide.
Lily looks like a porcelain doll. Except not creepy. Which is a very important distinction. She’s gorgeous and model thin, with almond-shaped eyes the color of dark chocolate and an Uma Thurman haircut circa Pulp Fiction. She and Randy have been officially dating for less than two months. But they’ve been banging each other since last summer, so it’s not that unreasonable that she’s meeting his mom.
Charlene cups her breast and shoots me an annoyed look. “We haven’t been dating a year. And my mom lives in New York, and Darren’s parents live in South Carolina. It’s not like we can drop by for dinner.”
I’d point out that Darren’s parents have been in town on more than one occasion and she still hasn’t taken the opportunity to meet them, but it’s not my relationship, so I keep my mouth shut. For now.
“I think it’s great that you’re meeting Randy’s mom. She’ll love you!” Sunny says, redirecting the conversation. She embodies her name, radiating positivity and warmth all the time. She’s also blond and blue-eyed with endless legs and a stunning, innocent face.
Lily gulps her mojito. “I sure hope so.”
“I introduced Miller to my parents the day after we met, and they loved him right away. Well, mostly, until Alex told them why he was traded to Chicago.”
He was traded last year around this time after getting caught in a public bathroom stall with his coach’s niece. The door was open.
Sunny waves her hand in the air, then twirls a blond lock around her finger. “But they love him again now, so that’s all that matters.”
Our dinner arrives, and I demo my burger and fries. I order another drink to celebrate both my unfulfilled sexiversary with Alex and the presentation I’ll be making next week. I’m the only one drinking like it’s Friday night, but then Lily probably remembers her terrible hangover from the last time we tied one on. And we all have to work tomorrow.
I’m in no rush to go home, but everyone else’s phone keeps going off. I send Alex a text, but I don’t get a reply. It’s disappointing on such a special day. Or a day that Alex has built up to be interpreted as such. I assumed there was going to be some seriously epic loving based on the ostentatiousness of this afternoon’s gift alone. Unfortunately, his last message was sent several hours ago saying they were still stuck, his phone was dying, and he didn’t think he was going to make it home tonight.
Me and my beaver are sad.
Charlene suggests we go, and Sunny and Lily agree with more enthusiasm than necessary, which I find odd. It’s still snowing when we leave the restaurant, so I can see Charlene’s point about getting home. Even though Sunny and Lily live two blocks away, they pile into the back of her car so we can drive them, too. It probably takes as long as it would to walk, but at least they don’t have to deal with the freezing cold and blustery snow.
Both of them are huddled into their jackets, texting away on their phones and giving each other sly looks while I scan Alex’s Facebook profile for signs of life. He hasn’t posted anything since this morning, and that was a cheesy update about how much he loves me. It’s sweet, but it leaves me even more disappointed.
Charlene pulls up to the house, staying a safe distance from the curb so there’s enough room for
the girls to open the door and not fall face first into the two-foot snow bank.
“Isn’t that Randy’s truck?” I ask.
“Oh, uh, um, he left it here for the week so I could drive it instead of my car. The tires are way better,” Lily replies.
“Wow. He lets you drive his truck already?” It took forever before Alex let me drive his sports car. And then I dinged it and he took away my privileges. Not even blow jobs seem to be able to bring them back.
Lily shrugs. “Is that weird?”
“Thanks for the ride, Charlene! See you girls soon!” Sunny gets out of the car and pulls Lily along with her.
“Bye, guys. Thanks, Char! See you soon.” Lily waves and hurries across the street, hand in hand with Sunny.
I figure Charlene and I will go back to her house and hang out some more since it’s close. On occasion, I’ve been known to stay at her place when Alex and Darren are away, because I don’t always like to be in his big, huge house by myself. I get all freaked out even though there’s an insane alarm system. But instead of taking a right, she goes left, toward Alex’s.
“We can go to your place. I’m sure I have a change of clothes,” I suggest.
“I’m kind of tired. I won’t be much fun.” Charlene yawns, as if to prove her point.
I don’t get why everyone is acting so weird tonight. Usually that’s my job.
Charlene’s phone buzzes, and then buzzes a few more times. She waits until we’re at a stoplight before she checks it. I do the same with mine, but Alex hasn’t messaged at all. It’s really not like him. He’s always in contact. Maybe he can’t find a charger for his phone.
I don’t say much on the drive. When Charlene pulls in Alex’s driveway, the porchlight illuminates the door and the holiday wreath I have yet to take down. The driveway’s been cleared of snow, as well as the steps. If it keeps snowing like this, the maintenance guys will have to circle back and do it again.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a bit? We can watch TV or something? Have a drink?” I’m already slightly buzzed; one more will help put me to sleep, and possibly take my mind off my disappointment.
Forever PUCKED (Pucked #4) Page 2