Being Human

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Being Human Page 2

by Quintin Fortune


  # # #

  The break room was littered with empty pizza boxes, left over Chinese, and two-liter pop bottles. Deadguy and Kiri looked on in amazement as Jill looked over the bills in dismay. "Five hundred dollars worth of food."

  "Yeah," DG said, a grin on his face. "Awesome, isn't it?"

  "I haven't spent this much since..."

  "Valk's last vengeance hunt."

  "God, don't remind me. I still have teeth marks on my kitchen table."

  "Can we keep him," Kiri asked. "Please? Can we? Can we?"

  "Kiri, he isn't a pet," Jill answered. "This man might have a family that's worried about him."

  "That's right. Listen to your mother," Deadguy joked.

  Jill opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and glared at Our Hero. "Not funny," she snipped.

  "Not to you," he snipped back with a chuckle.

  "Sugoi," Kiri said slowly, watching Jim eat. "I've never seen anyone put away that much food." She looked under the table. "Were are you putting it all?"

  Jim shrugged between bites of fried chicken.

  "What are we going to do," Jill asked.

  "About...?"

  "Jim! What are we going to do about Jim?"

  "We could always check out the missing persons reports. See if he matches anyone."

  "Hey, he's got some strange markings on his neck," Kiri stated. "Looks like a bar code of some sort."

  Deadguy walked over and glanced at where she was pointing. "It's only three lines," he corrected. "Not exactly a bar code, but it might mean something." He leaned into Jim's peripheral vision. "Any clues?"

  "About what," Jim asked between bites of a bacon double cheeseburger.

  "The three blueish lines on the back of your neck," he asked.

  "Couldn't say." He shoved a handful of fries into his mouth.

  "You do know to chew your food," Our Hero asked. Jim hiccuped, then suddenly Kiri was sitting there. He looked back between the sitting Kiri and the standing one. "Well this is a quirky little conundrum."

  "What," the sitting Kiri asked between gulps of a two-liter pop.

  "Look down," Deadguy suggested. The sitting Kiri did.

  "Ah," she yelled. "I'm a woman." She started to open the bathrobe Jill and loaned him, but the standing Kiri quickly slammed it shut.

  "No no," she said, starting to blush. "No one wants to see those."

  "I do," DG spoke up.

  Kiri blushed slightly as she crinkled her nose at him in anger.

  "He's a shifter," Jill stated.

  "A what," Kiri asked.

  "A shape-shifter," she answered. "They're called 'Shifters' for short."

  "Historically, Shifters are mostly the bad guys," Deadguy explained. "I mean, there have been rare times where a shifter was good, but mostly they're evil."

  "What's evil mean," Kiri/Jim asked, gulping more pop.

  "It means doing things that would hurt others in one form or another," Our Hero said. "We're here to make sure that sort of thing doesn't happen."

  "We're the good guys," standing Kiri stated.

  "Alright, Jim, you're going to have to change back or change into someone else," DG said. "I think the reader and myself are having a hard time keep track of who's saying what."

  "How do I change back," Kiri/Jim asked.

  "Kiri, help change Jim back," Jill instructed.

  "How," she asked.

  Our Hero shrugged. "Make him hiccup again. Or burp. Or fart. Or whatever." The Heroes walked into the main office to find Valkadaidan meditating on his desk. A faint red glow surrounded him. "Why is Valk glowing," he whispered to Jill. She shook her head.

  His red glow started to flicker, then the edges started to change to orange. Without warning, he burst into flames. "Deadguy, try to put him out," Jill screamed, running towards the fire extinguisher. Our Hero ran over and tackled him off the desk. The Dragon-Blooded was screaming, but not from the burning flames. He covered him with his trench coat, but the fire burned through it. Jill doused him with the extinguisher, but the flames persisted. "Do something," she yelled at him.

  "Like what," he screamed back.

  Just as suddenly as the flames ignited, they snuffed out. Valkadaidan slowly sat up and pulled Deadguy's trench coat off. "Why is this on me," he asked.

  "Dude, you were on fire," DG said. "What the hell?"

  "Another vision," he said, rubbing his eyes. "They're getting worse. There was fire everywhere. In it was a woman clad in black. Felt like I knew her but I didn't."

  Deadguy held out his hand. "Well, could you at least warn us the next time you're going to experience spontaneously combustion?"

  Valk looked up at him. "I'll try," he said, taking Our Hero's hand and being helped up.

  Kiri looked over the severed head of Xenio. It didn't seem like anything currently designed by any technological firm. It was sleek, smooth. There was no discernible way to see how it was put together. The neck appeared to have a part of a metallic spinal cord. A few wires hung from it. She placed it on her desk and put in her earpiece. "Techie's Log. Entry 8," she said in Japanese. "I am attempting to take apart the head casing of one Xenio the formally Indestructible." She pulled a screwdriver out of her desk and started prying the case. It wouldn't budge. She threw the screwdriver on the desk. Next up was an electric drill that smoked and screeched. The results were a worn drill bit and a still smooth head.

  "Problems kid," Deadguy asked. She looked across her desk to see him reclining at his, feet propped up as usual.

  "Shut up," she said.

  "Don't understand Japanese," he replied.

  "One day you will." She picked up the head and went into the break room. Jill was standing there, making her coffee. "Do we have any hammers?"

  "I think so," she answered in perfect Japanese.

  Kiri was stunned. "You...you can speak Japanese?"

  "Yep," she answered. "I'm fluent in seven language, including Japanese."

  "So, you're like really smart?"

  "Smart enough," Jill answered. "Smart enough to know when to let the boys play hero and when to reel them in."

  Kiri giggled at the comment."Have you figured out what we're going to do with Jim?"

  In the main office, the phone rang. Deadguy answered, then yelled in shock. Within seconds, he was standing in the doorway of the break room. "Boss, we've got a problem. Big problem. Emphasis on 'big'."

  "What do you mean 'big'," Jill asked.

  "Rampage is loose."

  Jill dropped her cup of coffee.

  "Who's Rampage," Kiri asked.

  "Big trouble," Jill answered. "but, I think this might give us a chance to see what Jim can actually do."

 

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