Tom wanted to get on the Road but he knew it’d be several days yet with his wounds not healed. It was a bitter blow the morning one of the neighbor lads brought word of the disaster that befell Port Jay. Tom hung his head, wondering if the Lanchester Mansion had survived the fire and if Katie was safe. Then in the afternoon he and Agata walked to the beach where the wind was tossing the sand about and the great rolling waves were smashing against the rocks and drawing back again in boiling, hissing foam. It was a scene of constant turbulence, one wave following after another. He looked at the jagged, upthrusting masses of rock surrounding the beach and saw the rocks were in combat also, reared up from unknown depths in awful angles and broken off again by forces that were thrusting them up and pulling them down just like the waves, and it was only the smallness of the little bit of time he was looking at them that gave the illusion they were still. He saw that in the little bit of time between one wave’s rising and its falling down a kind of scum had crept out and covered all the base and the sides of the wave, and when the wave fell down the scum was washed away like the boiling surf and never seen again. And that scum was man and his works that had covered the earth in so short a time. As he thought these things he said nothing to Agata but only talked of a coop that needed mending and of why she’d worn her green shoes instead of her gray. When he looked at her he saw the question in her eyes she didn’t speak of, though it filled the noisy silence and he knew it was a question to be answered. So when they’d walked back to the house and they’d made themselves a pot of tea and Tom had changed the dressing on his foot, which was healing well, though it was still raw, and they were settled in their chairs he asked, “Have you a coin?”
“I know you’ve been working to earn the money you’ll be needing when you go. Sure I’ll not cheat you. Must we speak of this now?”
“I think we must.”
She looked at him a moment, but his expression told her nothing, so she rose to get her box of coin and opening it she took out a coin and handed it to him. “Here. There’s yet what you owe for the clothes but I’ll not have you saying you were never paid.” She smiled, thinking it was his joke.
“You can keep it. Would you toss it for me?”
“ . . . Toss this coin?”
“Yes.”
She tossed it and it fell to the floor.
“What’s the verdict?”
“Heads.”
“I’m sorry, but I must leave you this night. I’ve a long way to go, and it’ll be all the longer for a man lamed as I am. So I’d best get a good start.”
She looked at him in disbelief. “So tails you stay and heads you leave?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not leaving just for the toss of a coin. I’ll not believe you’d do that.”
“Believe what you wish.”
“Wait. Sure it’s dark in here and I didn’t give as close a look as I should. Now I look closer I see I was mistook. Sure it’s tails. You can see for yourself if you’ll not believe what I tell you.”
“Agata, the coin will never fall right for you and me.”
“Then why have me toss?”
“I must be going, and you must stay.”
“Sure, you’ve a cruel way to tell me, saying a woman and all her charms can’t get the better of a toss of a coin?”
“I can’t explain the why of it but I’m always leaving women and I’ve never come back to any. But there’s one I’m going back to now. I’m sorry I stopped here. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d had a choice.”
“Wait. We’ll toss again. I’ll not let you leave. This time sure it’s due to come up tails.”
“The logic of that is wrong. Each time the chance is the same. If it came up heads a hundred times in a row, still the chance on the next toss is one in two.”
“If it came up heads a hundred times in a row, sure that coin has heads on both sides. More fool me, setting my cap for tails.”
He had nothing to say to that, so he went to put his things together, but it struck him he had no things, just the stick he used for a cane.
She walked to the door and shut it before he could go out. She took off her shirt and showed him her breasts. They were white and firm like those of a young woman, the nipples hard and red. “I’ll give you everything. I just don’t want to be alone.” Tears stood in her eyes. For a moment Tom thought of a younger woman and of a man beguiled by the glamour that was a soldier’s life. Then as gently as he could he took hold of her and moved her out of the way. He opened the door and went out, closing it behind him. He walked to the end of the path and looked back at the farmhouse. The door was still shut. The windows were dark. The night was silent. The moon had risen in the east. He turned his steps towards Port Jay.
Chapter Eighteen
THE DEVIL’S KISS
In the guttering light the hall stretched forever. Plinths were laid out in long rows bearing crates like coffins. Katie paced the endless aisles, stopping from time to time to open one of the crates. She would look in quickly, then move on. She knew what she sought was in one of them, but the ones she opened all bore corpses: women with long, stringy gray hair; men with chiseled faces and beards. They all looked the same. Time was running out, and a terrible destiny would befall her if she did not find that which she sought.
At odd times sounds like muffled footsteps echoed from other parts of the hall. These footsteps — slow, leaden – filled her with dread, but though she looked behind and to the sides she caught not a glimpse of a pursuer. All she saw were the distant walls covered in macabre hieroglyphics, and the endless rows of caskets. Coming to a spot where two aisles intersected, suddenly sharp claws plucked at her from behind and as she screamed she woke to see Tavish looming over her. “Where is . . .? Did something happen?”
“Don’t worry. We’re safe.” He had his arm over her belly and he smiled, but she didn’t read friendship in his smile. “Forgive me for waking you.”
“Was there a reason?”
“I’m lonesome. I need someone to talk to.”
“Must we talk this time of the night . . .? Can it not wait till morning?”
“Many nights I’ve wanted to talk.”
“What is it you’ve wanted to talk about?”
He took a long time before answering. They heard the forest’s small rustlings and nighttime whisperings. “I’ve wanted to tell you I love you.”
“Now you’ve said it can you sleep?”
He looked at her. “No.” He closed his eyes.
“You’re a fine man, Tavish. You’re good and strong.” He opened his eyes again. “But you should not have come with me. I let you come because I needed you, and I’m selfish. But you should not have come. You’re not strong enough for the task you set yourself. I think you know that.”
“I would be if I’d yet had hope of your kindness. But that’s drained out of me. Can you not care for me at all?”
“You know the answer and it’s the only answer I’ll give. It’s not that I’ve a cold heart or I’m hard to please, but there’s another man I love.” She took his arm and moved it off herself. “You’re a good man, Tavish, and you know you’re better than to do whatever it is you’re thinking of. I’ve feared the coming of this moment, and I must ask you to swear one thing for me. Will you swear, for the love you bear me?”
He answered in a low, choked voice, “I will.”
“Do you swear you’ll go no further but will always be my loyal protector? Be the man you want to be, the man I know you are, and go no further but to love me in your thoughts . . . ? If you swear, that will give you the strength you need. And I’ll swear in return never to think you less than the brave, good-hearted man I’ve always known you to be.”
They looked one another in the eye, hers deep and blue, lit by an inner glow none of those who’d loved her had been able to pin a name to, his brown and misshapen with the hurt he’d carried all his life. Finally, in the same low and choking voice he said, “I swear.”
/> “And so do I.” She placed her hand on his.
“I worship you. I’d never hurt a hair on your head.”
“Thank you, Tavish. You’re better than I deserve.” She stood and looked about. The night held no answers. She felt no safer and she knew she must hide. “The fire’s out and there’s a chill in the air.”
“I’ll get some brush.” He smiled at her. Then, with the ghost of a bow he left the little clearing and went to gather some kindling. The moment he was gone Katie fastened on her sandals and with a quick tug at Tommy Dog she ran into the forest in the opposite direction. She felt she’d come quite close, and it frightened her. She’d tried to see Tavish differently, to like him if she could, but she’d given her heart to Tom, and she had no room for another man. For the rest of this night, at least, she’d put herself where Tavish would not come across her. She looked for a little hidden patch where she could lie low like a squirrel till the sun rose.
As soon as she’d gone a good distance from the campsite she stopped to rest and take in her surroundings. The ground was covered by a thick mat-like grass. Above her the stars twinkled like drops of dew on a frosty morning. The trees at her side stood like spectral sentinels. Almost she remembered this spot. There was a moment of resonance as her mind and her memory became one. She had been here before. Looking about she recognized each twisting branch and every trailing tendril of moss. This was a magic spot. How had she known?
“I said we’d meet again, and it’s a fair night you’ve chosen to resume the acquaintance.”
It was the woman from the night of Madam Lanchester’s formal dance, the night she now thought of as the last of her old life. She had a new life now and in this new life were many risks and a multitude of uncertainties. Here was one now.
“The dance is just beginning,” said Deirdre.
Katie heard soft music borne on the still air. “I’ve only now put on my sandals.” Her feet were moving of their own volition.
“How very fortunate.” Deirdre held out her hand. Tommy gave a growl and then laid his head on his twisted limbs. Katie looked at Deirdre’s hand. Then, not certain why, she placed her hand in the other woman’s. They danced. Much to her surprise, Katie found she knew the steps. Indeed, she found she’d always known them. She could feel other dancers in the pattern. She looked around and there they were, the others, all her sisters, throughout the forest, dancing together. The music, the moonlight and the rhythm of the dance all meshed to make a mystical moment of magic.
But what was this? Something was wrong. There was a disturbance, some roughness in the wood. A man, she thought she knew him, held some kindling for a fire. He looked about, distracted. His harsh voice rasped, “Katie . . .?” Her name sounded vile in his grating voice. “Where’d you go?” She took the next two steps in the sorcerous gavotte, and turned.
“Pay him no mind,” said Deirdre. The man had tossed the kindling to the ground and now was looking intently at the track Katie had left. Katie laughed at the distress written on his face. He muttered something to himself she couldn’t make out. But his actions upset the pattern she and her sisters were treading out. He moved violently in her direction. He looked straight at her. She saw how ugly his face was, and the pain written on it made it uglier yet.
“Katie?” he called, and then passed her by. Tommy barked.
“He sees us not. You are invisible to his eye.”
The man went thrashing away, desperately searching for something. Deirdre took Katie’s hand and led her a little away from the dance. “So where are you off to this night?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, I think you do.” They walked a little in silence. “Shall I take you there?”
“Methinks thou art a witch.”
“I am a woman, as you are. You could be more.”
“Could I now?”
“Obstinate hussy, you must kiss the Devil.”
“And why’s the Devil in such need of a kiss?”
“It’s a little thing. Smaller than that. And you want to do it . . . Look, we’ve come to a stream. How shall we get across?”
A clear stream of water crossed their path. It was deep, and Katie saw the grass standing in the ground the water was flowing over, like looking through pure crystal.
“Is that a boat?” Katie saw a wooden box, like the coffins she’d been dreaming of, on the bank of the stream not far off.
“I think it may be. Shall we sit in it?” The two women sat in the wooden box. Tommy came in too and curled up at Katie’s feet. Deirdre gave a little shove and they were out in the stream.
She said, “This little dog cannot cross.” She picked Tommy up and she twisted him and made his legs stick out at odd angles. Then she held his head under the water till he was drowned. And after he was dead Katie saw his body drifting away down the stream, like a broken toy.
When they came to the other side of the stream Deirdre got out first, and then she helped as Katie got out of the boat. There was a great hall, and stairs that led up to it. There were just seven steps in the stairway and when they’d gone up it they could see for miles and miles all around. Katie realized she was looking out at the world and its grandeur, and she could see all the human creatures in their sordid situations. She saw wars being fought, and she saw ill-tempered children throwing tantrums, and she saw many other things, and she saw that a whitewash had been laid over all men, but it had come off now and she could see them clear, the pushing, self-protective, malodorous, carnivorous, lecherous puppets they were. A man came and stood beside her. He was a very fine man and he wore a scarlet coat with silver buttons. Her gown swirled around her feet and it had gold buttons that reflected the man standing next to her. He was an elegant man and all things were contained in him. This was the man she’d been born for. He took Katie’s hand, and kissed her fingers, and gave her a deep and a courteous bow. Then he did something she’d not expected. He plucked a pomegranate from a tree at his side and handed it to her. She took the pomegranate and as she did she realized she had a ravenous and a voracious hunger on her, so she opened the pomegranate and put the seeds in her mouth and ate them. Then she took the man’s hand. She knew she was making a mistake, but little did she care. She wanted to be all things for this man. There was a power and a passion in him that could not be controlled. She saw this in his eyes, also she saw it in the way he smiled, and it was reflected in the jewels and the buckles that he wore. And he went to kiss her on the lips, but full well she knew what tomfooleries he’d be up to, so she said, “Not at this time. There is no urgency. I think I will withhold my kiss.”
The music stopped. She looked in his eyes and she looked at his smile and they weren’t what they had been before.
“Then why did you come?” the man said. “You’ve partaken of my hospitality. Now here you must stay till either you give me your kiss, or else I give you leave to go. And never will I give you leave.”
And Katie said, “I came because this woman asked me.” Deirdre smiled and curtsied. “But why she’d ask me I cannot say. I’d think she’d rather ask a man than ask me. But she doesn’t ask a man and I think I know the reason for it. If she asked a man, the man will have her teach him all her magic tricks and then he’ll use them against her to lock her in the closet. He’ll want to marry her without the payment of a bride price and when she has a daughter he’ll want to marry her too. He’ll want her to tell him his future, and then he’ll lie with her in many filthy ways and enjoy himself in a manner not becoming. So that’s why she’ll not ask a man and she’ll content herself with you who only wants a kiss. And I haven’t even a kiss to give you. Sure I’ve given my kiss to another and he’s taken it with him far across the sea, so I’ve naught for you.”
At this the man disappeared in a nimbus of wrath and a sulphurous flash that left a scorch of pure black where he’d stood. But Katie, sure as he’d said, had to stay. Her fate it was to remain in that shadowy land till he’d give her leave to go, and never would he gi
ve her leave. So she watched as day passed after day across the world below, enduring the passing months and wheeling seasons. She saw the people coming and going in their furious errands and their tireless rituals. And all the while the baby grew within her stomach. And when the day came she gave birth, but it was a shrunken, misformed thing with sticks for arms and stones for eyes and she didn’t like it at all. So the man, who was the Devil, put the baby in his crocodile jaws she’d not seen before and he ate it all up.
Still Katie withheld her kiss. She’d grown to be a haughty lady and lived many years so. She found she could order the other witches about. She could do this for the simple reason there was nothing she wanted them to do. She told them to dance, and Deirdre and the others danced round her at her will, but truly there was nothing she wanted of them. She was the queen of all evil, and the Devil was her consort, but still she withheld her kiss.
One day she went down the stairway of seven steps and walked in the land below. A knight in foul armor, much rusted, came her way. She said to him, “Whither are you bound, and what is your name?”
“I am bound for the battle that all must lose, and I haven’t a name, for I am the child that you bore and never was I granted a christening.”
“How can that be? I saw that child eaten and by the Devil.”
“The Devil has a womb also and also gives birth. And I am the child that the Devil consumed and gave birth to. You see my armor all dented and rusty for I’ve been in battle for the worser side. And now my day is done and I am for the defeated dust which is what we all become.” And with those words he passed and was gone.
Now she looked and saw that all those round her were old and gray and falling into decay. She also was old and her hair was faded and hoar. So she went down to the stream she’d crossed before, but now it was a mighty river and it was deep and broad and the waves on it were fierce with whitecaps and much spray. She looked for the little wooden boat she’d used before, and after a while she found it, but it was old and fallen apart. She did her best to put it together and then dragged it to the shore and sat in it, just as she had so many years ago, and let it take her across the river. But it was an old boat and the wood was rotten and no one had taken care of it for such a long time and the waves tossed it mercilessly and in the middle of the river it fell apart and Katie went into the water. She sank down and down and down and there was no bottom to the river. And then she saw there was a gap, like a thick black line at the bottom of the river and all the water was flowing out of it and the water started to shake and she heard her name being called, “Katie . . . Katie . . .”
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