by Mary Alford
They’d crossed into Vermont, stopping only briefly for food and gas. It was late by the time they reached the cabin. Not that it mattered. She knew where they were going. The cabin she’d dreamed about.
The moon hung low on the horizon when Jase pulled the truck into the small garage around back and turned to her, trying to access her reaction. “Ready?” he whispered into the cold night air.
No. She cleared her throat. “Okay.”
A handful of seconds ticked by before he got out of the truck and opened the door for her. She didn’t budge.
“Why did you bring me here?” she whispered. She couldn’t stop the question. She didn’t want to. She needed to hear his answer.
He looked into her eyes. She tried to read what he was thinking. She couldn’t. “Because it’s safe. Because no one knows about it.” The last part came as an afterthought. It sounded more like a threat.
She followed him to the door. She’d dreamed of this place. Jase and Kate spent many moments here together in this mountain hideaway. Hannah couldn’t speak. She waited silently beside him as he unlocked the door and held it open for her.
In the foyer, he said, “Wait here. I’ll take a quick look around.”
She didn’t answer. She stepped into the great room and almost lost it. Everything about the place remained the same as the day they’d left it that last time.
With the cabin secured, Jase came back and silently watched her.
Tears were close. She’d never cried in front of him. No, Kate never cried. She couldn’t seem to keep from it lately. Especially now. It seemed as if once she and Jase were together at their special hideaway, the memories wouldn’t stop.
“You remember this place?” He sounded surprised. Or maybe not. Perhaps bringing her here had been a test he’d hoped she’d fail.
“Yes.” Somehow, she managed to force the word out over the painful lump that threatened her breathing.
She could see it in his eyes. He didn’t believe her. “There’s no way.” He grasped her arms. “You’ve never been here before. Kate would certainly have never told anyone about it, so how is it possible that you recognize it?”
“I told you. You don’t believe me, but I told you.” Her voice broke into a sob.
“Because what you say is impossible.”
She jerked free and headed for the door. He caught her and brought her back round to face him, pinning her against the wall.
She no longer tried to hold back the tears. When Jase saw them, he let her go and backed away.
He looked as if he’d seen a ghost. “Enough. I don’t want to hear any more about this. You’re tired. We’re both tired. You need sleep. Take that bedroom.” He jerked his head in the direction of the room he and Kate had once shared. “I’ll bunk in the guest room.”
When she didn’t make a move, he grabbed the bag containing her clothes and toiletries and took it into the room, and then he picked up his backpack, went into the other bedroom, and closed the door.
Hannah stood for a second longer listening to silence in the room where Jase had gone and wondering if there’d ever be a time when he would believe what she said.
Chapter Eight
She’d recognized the cabin. No one but he and Kate knew about it. There would be no way Hannah could have pulled that out of any surveillance file because it didn’t exist. If she knew about the cabin, then had she been telling the truth about Kate’s feelings toward him? He’d spent the last year of their relationship wondering what he meant to her. As much as he didn’t want to believe Hannah’s story, he’d found what she’d told him oddly comforting.
“You’re definitely losing it, McCoy,” he muttered to himself. When had he become so foolish?
He needed to talk to someone who could ground him. In the past, Kate had been the one to keep his head straight. He settled for the person who’d been there with him and Kate since the beginning of their relationship.
He dialed Aaron’s secure cell number and realized it could barely be called morning. After the third ring, Aaron answered. “Bishop.”
“It’s me.”
“Jase, thank goodness. It’s been hours since you checked in with Travis. We’ve been going crazy here worrying about you.”
“I’m sorry, I know. It’s just that we’ve been in a bit of jam.”
“I heard. Travis told me. We found the Suburban outside of Arlington. It was clean.”
Jase blew out a sigh. “I was afraid of that. At least it sounds like they bought the diversion.”
“I wouldn’t count on it. There’s a reason why they were able to shoot our two agents at point blank range.”
Aaron was right. Those men were skilled. “Any lead yet on who they’re working for?”
“No. Travis has a team going over every part of the Suburban as well as tracing their path from the diner on the off chance something will turn up. I’m not holding my breath. Whoever’s behind this is good.” Aaron hesitated then asked, “Has she told you anything useful?”
Useful—no. What Hannah told him so far was useful only to him. Jase cleared his throat and managed to keep his tone neutral. “No. Nothing yet. Has Travis uncovered anything further on the spy angle?” Part of him almost hoped it turned out she was a spy. Then he could dismiss her.
“That’s just it. By all appearances, she’s nobody. There’s no evidence to connect her to any terrorist groups or foreign governments for that matter. Travis’ still working out the details of her trip to Afghanistan. So far, it appears innocent enough. She doesn’t have so much as a parking ticket. In fact, up until Melinda heard her talking about Kate’s last mission, she led a relatively uneventful life. She’s twenty-five. She’s been a schoolteacher for roughly three years. She’s dated the same man since she was in high school. Her only connection to what happened to Kate is the fact that she has her heart, and that she’s had dreams about Kate’s life.”
Jase couldn’t believe Hannah’s trip to Afghanistan wasn’t connected to their case. “We’re missing something. We have to be. Maybe there’s a connection she’s not aware of. She could have met someone and unwittingly become their pawn.”
“I don’t see it. I spoke with her doctor again. He suggests we not push her too hard. She’s been through a lot. If there’s a shred of truth in what she’s saying, she may be of some use to us in the investigation.”
Jase couldn’t believe what he was hearing from his by-the-book boss. “If she has Kate’s memories why doesn’t she know who killed Kate? And if she does know, and she’s not saying, then…”
“If that’s the case, then Hannah Sandoval has more to worry about than a haunted heart. She’s in danger. Obviously, after what’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, whoever’s after her will stop at nothing to silence her. I’m sorry to put you in the middle of this, Jase. How are you holding up?”
“I’m okay. I want to see this thing through, figure out who’s behind Kate’s death and those two agents.”
Aaron was right about one thing. Kate’s killers were obviously worried enough about Hannah’s claims to try to eliminate her threat.
“Be careful. You’re at a disadvantage by being on the run and not knowing who’s chasing you. Keep your eyes open and keep her safe. We need her. We’ll get to the bottom of this—whatever this is. When it’s safe, bring her back to Langley, and move on with your life. Let me deal with Hannah Sandoval from there.”
Jase disconnected the call, cracked the door, and looked out. Her bedroom door remained closed, and there was no sound coming from inside. He’d treated her badly and should apologize, but he needed time to clear his head because he couldn’t force her out of it.
He liked the way she said his name. Her voice was so sweet and innocent. She probably wasn’t even aware of how attractive that was to a man starved for something innocent to believe in. In the truck she’d said she was sorry. She’d been dreaming and wasn’t aware she was talking in her sleep. She’d said more. Something about trusting
someone.
Jase was too keyed up to sleep. He called his partner. If he knew Travis’ work habits at all, he’d be slugging down coffee while working some angle of the case.
“How you holding up, partner?” Travis asked once Jase identified himself. Just like Travis not to bother with such formalities as hello. “I’m surprised to hear from you. I figured with all the excitement of the day you’d be down for the count.”
“Yeah, well, I guess that’s why I can’t sleep. I’m too wired. What are you working on tonight? You in the office?”
“Yeah, I’m monitoring some of the chatter sites. There’s a whole lot of noise out there. Especially since the two agents were murdered. More than usual.”
“Anything promising?”
“Not yet. We have the usual terrorist groups claiming responsibility, but nothing’s been confirmed. I have lots of leads. I’m hoping I’ve missed something beyond the usual rhetoric that’ll help us solve L … the case.” Travis caught himself before he said Kate’s name. Jase didn’t share with Travis, but the things he and Hannah had talked about had helped to ease the pain and the guilt that had once consumed him.
“It’s okay. I know you’re doing everything you can. I’ll check in tomorrow. Hopefully, one of us will have some good news by then.”
“I hope you’re right. ’Night, Jase. Get some rest. Something tells me you’re going to need it.”
Jase stretched out on the bed and put the Glock under the pillow next to him. Talking to Aaron and Travis hadn’t helped. He still felt haunted. By that night. Kate’s death. By his attraction to Hannah. He’d been mixed-up inside since Kate’s death. Off his game.
All the more reason to get back to his ranch in New Zealand. The quicker he solved Kate’s murder the sooner he could start forgetting Hannah Sandoval and working on being normal again. God only knew what that meant.
He spent the rest of the night, fully clothed, snatching moments of sleep only to awaken from dreams of Kate. At times, she appeared close enough to touch. He’d reach for her only to have her turn into Hannah before his eyes.
He wasn’t sure what time he’d finally fallen asleep. The last time he looked at his watch it was after three. He awoke as the first bits of sunlight edged its way through the curtains in the room and abandoned sleep entirely.
Jase stretched and winced at a couple of new ache and pains. He glanced at himself in the mirror of the bathroom. The life he’d lived as a spy showed on his face. Each death-defying mission, each kill, had left its indelible mark in the etched grooves around his mouth, the squint lines around both eyes. The furrow between his brows. He prayed with time the memories of the things he’d done in the name of justice would leave his face as well as his head.
He shucked his clothes, stepped under a warm current of water and tried to wash away the unsettling truth that once this mission was over he’d never see Hannah Sandoval again.
* * * *
She’d slept like a rock. Exhaustion had a way of doing that to a person. She’d awakened to the smell of fresh-brewed coffee.
Hannah rummaged through the bag containing a change of clothing, then went to shower. She looked pale as a ghost. She felt like one as well. The ghost of Kate Willows.
She followed the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Jase was there. He stood with his back to her. Tall. Strong. Dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans, he was so handsome.
Seeing him standing there sparked a memory of another time when he and Kate had been in this very kitchen. She closed her eyes. On one of the rare times they’d managed to slip away from the job together. They’d made snow ice cream together. Jase told Kate it was one of his mother’s favorite things to do one those rare occasions when it actually snowed in Texas.
They’d worked together in the kitchen and had ended up tossing more snowballs at each other than in the bowl. Soon, playful wrestling had turned to kissing.
Hannah must have made some sound, because he turned and pinned her with his haunting gaze. She could feel her cheeks growing hot. He took his time looking away. Was he remembering that time as well? It took everything inside of her to let go of that memory.
“Coffee’s fresh. I have to go out. I’ll probably be gone most of the day. You look like you could use some down time anyway. Don’t go anywhere without me, and whatever you do, don’t call anyone.”
He didn’t wait for her to say a word. He brushed past her and left her standing alone much like the night before, with only Kate’s memories to keep her company.
Chapter Nine
Hannah had spent most of the morning watching the snow pile up outside the kitchen window and remembering things Kate and Jase had done here together. It had been at the cabin that Kate first tried to tell Jase how she felt about him.
The last time they’d made a trip up here had been six months before…
That trip stood out in her mind because everything about it had been special. They’d taken Kate’s Jeep, stopped at every tourist attraction between D.C. and Vermont, and she’d never been happier. The past, all the terrible details of the war had faded away, and it was the two of them.
Kate had promised herself she’d tell Jase how she felt about him, but when it came right down to it she couldn’t. They’d left for D.C., and then later with the preparation for that final mission there never seemed to be the right time. And she’d been filled with regrets.
Make him understand now. It’s not too late. Do this for me.
Hannah dismissed the idea without really considering it. Ridiculous. He hadn’t wanted to listen to her the last time. The man who’d left her today wouldn’t accept those words from her again.
When morning faded to afternoon, Hannah dug through the bags they’d bought at Wal-Mart and found a few energy bars. She ate one and downed the remaining coffee from that morning.
The cabin grew cold with the descending darkness. The temperature in this part of Vermont could plunge to below freezing with nightfall. Hannah tossed some wood in the cast iron woodstove and made a fire. Before long, the great room became warm and she stopped shivering.
She must have fallen asleep, because she hadn’t heard him return, yet something woke her. Someone had covered her with a blanket. She sat up. He stood next to the woodstove, adding more wood to the fire.
“You’re back.”
He turned when she spoke. The expression in his eyes told the truth. Nothing had changed.
He came and kneeled in front of her, only a whisper of space separated them. She saw all of his doubts. Then he pulled her against him and he kissed her.
Jase’s fingers tangled in her hair, holding her still. Something fractured inside her. Suddenly she couldn’t get close enough. Kate loved him. Her dreams painted a picture of that love they’d shared.
Kissing Jase was like standing on the edge of a cliff and jumping off. It was a rollercoaster ride, exciting and thrilling, and she never wanted to end. He was life. Death. Dark. Light. He was Jase.
She’d dreamed of him through all those dark days at the hospital. When he had finally found her, he had been nothing like what she’d thought he would be and everything like Kate’s dreams promised. Jase was like a storm in the night. Just that devastating.
He gripped her arms and pushed her away, and then he stood and moved closer to the stove. He didn’t look at her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He shook his head, still not looking at her. “Blame it on, frustration, everything that’s happened, I don’t know. Still, I had no right.”
He was full of regrets, but she had none.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. Besides, it wasn’t just you. It was me. Things got carried away.” She hated the color that crept into her face. The ridiculous way her voice stumbled over the words.
He drew in a deep breath and turned back to her. She wished she could understand what that look meant. “We need to talk,” he said softly. His voice sent a shiver through her body. “But first, I for one am starving. I’ll
try to find us something more substantial than power bars to eat. I think I saw some spaghetti sauce and pasta in the pantry.”
He left her alone, and she was glad because she could breathe again. It took her even longer to follow him to the kitchen.
He was looking out the window, much as he had the last time. He saw her reflection when she came into the room and he turned to her.
He blew out a breath and killed whatever he was feeling. She watched it happen as if watching someone flipping a switch. He was all business again.
And she didn’t know what to say to him.
He held up a box of pasta in one hand and a jar of sauce in the other. “Beats nothing I guess. We’ll make a trip into town tomorrow for supplies.”
She still hadn’t moved from the door. “How long do I have to stay here? My sister must be going out of her mind with worry.”
Jase dumped cold water into pot and added the pasta. “As long as it takes. As long as you’re in danger. Like I said, it’s up to you. You’re the one with all the answers locked up in your head.” He turned back to her. “Aren’t you?”
Hannah chose to ignore the challenge in his words. She scraped back one of the chairs and sat down at the table, doing her best to ignore Kate’s memories of them here together.
He could finish preparing the meal by himself.
Jase grinned at her act of defiance and continued working. The smell of the spaghetti sauce wafted her way. She remembered the last time she’d eaten had been hours earlier. Exhaustion seeped into her bones like a disease. From lack of food. The illness. She felt nauseous. She wouldn’t be sick in front of him. She drew in a couple of deep breaths.
He put two bowls filled with pasta and sauce on the table and seemed to notice her drawn expression. “Are you okay?”