“ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU TRUE POWER, YOU FALSE PROPHET, PIECE OF SHIT!” he bellowed at the prone man. The magic coursing through him begged to be unleashed. Tartum was taking in the breath needed to speak the first word of power for his spell, when he felt Elizabeth’s hand gently grip his shoulder.
“Please, Sweetheart, stop this.” she whispered to him. With his senses enhanced by the magic, he heard her with remarkable clarity. Her voice distracted his rage and before he could take another breath, he felt his grip on the magic fall away and the weakness that followed caused him to stumble. The man under his foot saw his chance and shoved Tartum’s foot off of him. Springing to his feet, he sprinted down the lane as fast as he could, screaming that the devil was behind him. Tartum leaned on his staff and allowed Elizabeth to guide him through the crowd of people that were applauding and asking when the next show was. Tartum couldn’t believe the fools thought the whole thing had been an act. A few people even tried to tip him.
As Elizabeth guided him back to the compound, Tartum was silent. Something had happened in the moment she touched him that turned his whole world upside down. She had disarmed him and caused him to lose his grip on the magic. He wondered why it had occured but could think of no explaination. Then he began to wonder if this had ever happened before; he recalled a few times he had lost his grip on the source when she touched him back during his training. At the time, he thought it was simply exhaustion, but now…now he wasn’t so sure.
He felt her hands on him now, guiding him through the back alleys and streets that would lead them back home. Cautiously, Tartum tried to open himself to the magic. He felt nothing; the only thing he could feel was Elizabeth’s hands on him. With her hands on him, the magic wouldn’t come. A cold, sick feeling sprang up in his stomach at this revelation, and Tartum thought he was going to throw up. Willing the contents of his stomach to stay where they were, he focused on the current conundrum.
When they arrived at the guild entrance, Elizabeth released him to open the door. With her attention on the door, Tartum took the oppurtunity to attempt to open himself to the magic. As he had felt thousands of times before, the magic immediately flowed into him and his strength returned. He said nothing and was careful to keep his posture the way it was. He needed Elizabeth to touch him again, he had to know if it was coincidence, or if her touch stopped his ability to channel. As the door to the guild swung open, Elizabeth turned to help him inside. The moment her hands touched him, his grip on the magic dissolved and the weakness that ensued coupled with the shock of the confirmation threatened to make him pass out. The world began to spin, and he leaned heavily on her shoulder.
“Oh my Gods! Sweetie, are you alright!?” Elizabeth asked. The concern in her voice was real. It made Tartum feel sick.
He couldn’t reply, he simply nodded and pulled away from her. Leaning on his staff, he forced his body to carry him back to his room while she followed him. When they arrived at the door to his room, he stopped and held up a hand to stop her from following him.
“I wish to be alone tonight.” he said. His tone was flat.
Elizabeth’s look of shock and confusion couldn’t have been more complete, “If you’re mad about the cultist I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to kill him with all those witnesses around. We are supposed to keep a low profile, you know!” Tartum knew he had hurt her with his rejection, and he could hear the anger building up in her voice. The fact that she didn’t understand why he wanted to be alone gave him hope that she wasn’t blocking his magic on purpose. The knowledge didn’t make the thought of her touching him again any less repulsive.
“It’s not that, I need to think. I’ll talk to you later…” he said and walked into his room locking the door behind him. He listened until he heard her footsteps walking away from his door. He stayed with his ear pressed to the door, until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore and then collapsed heavily in his chair. Buddy heard him sit down and came out from under the bed. He seemed to sense his master’s mood and with his ears and tail lowered he put his head in Tartum’s lap to offer any comfort he could provide. Tartum absently began petting Buddy’s head as he thought about Elizabeth and why her touch would effect him in such a way. He couldn’t believe how long it had been going on, unnoticed. A thought occured to him, and he placed both of his hands on Buddy. Opening himself to the magic, a wave of relief came over him as the magic flowed into him without hesitation.
“Well, old friend, at least I can still touch you without worry.” he said to Buddy with a smile.
In response, Buddy’s tail began wagging and he gave a short bark of agreement. Tartum sat in his chair for the rest of the night debating what to do about Elizabeth.
CHAPTER 31
Tartum awoke the next day after a night of fitful rest. He could not stop thinking about, how all this time Elizabeth had been blocking his magic, and he was just now figuring it out. He also couldn’t figure out how she was doing it. As far as he could tell she wasn’t aware it was happening; which made it all the more strange. She had never shown any skill in magic, nor had she ever shown any innate ability. He absently fumbled with his ring as he went over the problem again and again. Finally, after spending two more hours torturing himself, he finally made a decision; he went to see Rashlarr.
He walked into Rashlarr’s room and found him reading a large green book. He didn’t notice his arrival, so Tartum cleared his throat to make his presence known. Rashlarr looked up with a start, and for a moment, Tartum thought he might tell him to leave. Slamming the book closed, he hastily covered it with papers he had scattered on the table. Tartum would have found his actions curious, if he wasn’t completely preoccupied with his own problem.
“Tartum! To what do I owe the honor of this early morning visit?” Rashlarr asked. He no longer seemed concerned with his unexpected presence but stood protectively near the book he had poorly concealed and even kept one hand on it as he spoke.
“Sorry to disturb you. I have a question.” Tartum paused, now that he had to vocalize his thoughts, they seemed very personal, and he found himself feeling awkward and stupid. He almost changed his mind about asking Rashlarr about it. He turned to leave when the thought of Elizabeth touching him crossed his mind. He shuddered, and that solidified his resolve; stupid or not, he needed answers.
“Last night, Elizabeth and I were out, we had a good time…but we ran into a group of religious fanatics, and I got into a little bit of a fight with one…” he began. Rashlarr gave no indication of his feelings on the subject but nodded his head and listened intently. Tartum sighed and continued, “Well…the guy grabbed Elizabeth…so I broke his shoulder and would have killed him on the spot. I had the copper rod in my hands and was fully open to the magic…”
Tartum found himself momentarily unable to go on as he relived the memory of her touch pulling the magic out of him. His anger began to rise which gave him the strength to resume his story, “Elizabeth…she put her hand on my shoulder…and my hold on the magic was gone. I mean it was instantly, and completely, gone! At first I thought it was an isolated incident. I thought that…maybe she had distracted me…caused me to lose my focus. I tried to reopen myself to the magic while her hands were still on me, and I couldn’t! It was like being back in the null box! Yet, the moment I was free of her touch…the magic returned. I hoped it was an isolated incident, but this has been happeneing since I began my training! Is she some kind of curse? Does she have innate magical ability that no one told me about? I don’t think she does it intentionally, but I need it to stop happening. Rashlarr, what do I do?” The desperation in his voice was obvious by the time he was done asking his questions. Tartum looked at Rashlarr for any sign he understood. What he saw he hadn’t expected. Rashlarr was laughing, only it wasn’t Rashlarr’s laugh coming from his mouth. As distracted as he was, the idea that Calimsha would respond, especially like this, never crossed his mind.
Calimsha’s laughter steadily increased, until she was roaring wi
th delight. Something about his situation was amusing her greatly. Tartum quickly became agitated with her; taking a deep breath to calm himself, he addressed the demon.
“Hello, Calimsha…So glad I’ve caught your attention…” Tartum said. His tone was flat with barely controlled irritation.
Calimsha looked at him with Rashlarr’s eyes. Her gaze still made him uncomfortable, but he forced himself to keep it. He had come too far to allow himself to be intimidated by her piercing looks. His defiant stare seemed to take the mirth out of her, and she regained her composure. That was fine with Tartum, her voice made his head feel like spiders were crawling on his brain.
“So, half-breed! Beauty has tamed the beast, has it!?” she said and began laughing again.
Tartum’s patience snapped, “ENOUGH! I did not come here to entertain you, demon! I came here for answers! Give me what I want or let Rashlarr come back! I have no time for you!” he barked at her.
Calimsha stopped laughing, but the smile never left her face. Her eyes, however, blazed, and Tartum began to regret his words.
“Oh! There’s still some fight in you yet, isn’t there, Half-breed…excellent! Yes…yessssss! You bring me no end of entertainment! Yesssss!!!! I will answer your question. Your kind always did fall easily for a pretty face. Yes…a pretty face…” she said. Tartum didn’t know how to respond and decided to remain quiet lest his words change her mind.
Seeing he wasn’t going to speak, Calimsha’s smile became the too big grin she sometimes got when he had really impressed her. “You learn quickly, half-breed. Yes-yessss! Well…the answer to your riddle is simple…your beauty is not your first love, but your second! You are a cheating lover half-breed! Yes-yess!!! You have two lovers! One is magic, the other is flesh! Flesssssh…yes-yes! You must chose one and forsake the other, for it seems that, like with all love triangles, when two sides discover each other, they tear at the middle until either one side wins, or they tear you apart…Very entertaining, half-breed! Very entertaining, indeed! Yes-yessssss!!” Calimsha’s voice felt like claws on his sanity, but he forced himself to listen to her words.
What she said made little sense to him. It sounded like she was telling him that his ability with magic and his love for Elizabeth were fighting for dominance over him. He almost dismissed her words as lies; said to him to further her own agenda. The voice in the back of his head began to act up, and Tartum began to think on Calimsha’s words. When Elizabeth touched him, he had to admit, magic was the furthest thing from his mind; yet, when he was casting a spell, Elizabeth was the furthest thought from his mind. He began to believe Calimsha was telling him the truth. Gathering himself, he prepared to endure her voice once again. He needed to clarify what she had said. He needed to ensure he had understood her correctly.
“So…you’re saying if I stay with Elizabeth, my ability to cast will go away. Yet if I leave her, my ability will continue to grow?” he asked. With a grimmace, he braced for her answer.
Calimsha’s smile got smaller, but only enough for it to fit normally on Rashlarr’s face. “Yes, half-breed. You understand, finally. You must choose to stay with Elizabeth and risk losing your ability to channel the magic…or you must leave her and risk being alone forever! There is a good possibility that if you fall in love with another, it would have the same effect. Such is the price your kind sometimes pays. Yes…sometimes pays…” she told him. For a second, Tartum thought he heard sympathy in her voice. If it had been there, it was gone the moment she began to speak again.
“So, what will the beast choose? The magic? Or the flesh? This will be most entertaining to observe!” she said. The excitement in her voice was unmistakeable.
The weight of her words was too much, and Tartum collapsed to the floor. He knew what he wanted. He knew what his choice would be; yet he couldn’t help but feel like the entire situation was throughly unfair. Why did he have to chose between love for a woman and love for magic. Why did life have to throw this crossroad at him, just as everything was going great in life. He felt cheated and wanted to lash out, but there was no one to blame, no one to punish for this injustice. The last time he felt like this, he was burying his father. He sat there feeling sorry for himself. Rashlarr’s foot kicking him in the ass brought him out of his bout of self-pity.
“What the hells, Calimsha!?!” Tartum protested, as he jumped to his feet. His butt was sore where she had kicked him. He was outraged that Calimsha would strike him after everything she had just said. A scathing retort was on the tip of his tongue when the look in her eyes gave him pause. He wasn’t looking into Calimsha’s sarcastic and amsued eyes anymore, these were Rashlarr’s eyes, and they were filled with disgust.
“What the hells indeed, Tartum! You come into my room, ask me questions that bring Calimsha out of her dormancy, and then when you get bad news, that I believe you already knew, you sit on my floor and pout like a child? Unacceptable! These are not the actions of a man that has obliterated ogres, killed kritchet, or put a fifty foot long hole in the wall of my training room! Get a hold of yourself! Find your manhood, and make a decision! If I see you acting like that ever again, I will not bother trying to be nice. I will kill you as you sit in your pool of tears and self-pity.” he was shouting at him now. Tartum was so taken aback by the anger in his voice, he was speechless.
Tartum’s silence only served to further Rashlarr’s disgust. “If you have nothing to say for yourself then get out. I have no time for you, if you’re going to act like a child!” with that, Rashlarr turned his back on him and walked towards his book.
Tartum knew he should say something and blurted out the thing that came to mind. “It’s not fair! I shouldn’t have to choose!”
Rashlarr rounded on him, he was on him so fast, Tartum barely registered what was happening. Rashlarr was inches from his face, and the look in his eyes was pure hate. “Fair!?! FAIR!?! Who in the gods’ names told you life was fair? I had to let a fucking demon possess me so that I could reach this level of power. She constantly torments me and takes over my actions, forcing me into isolation! I make this sacrifice happily, for I know what I want from my life and have given much to get it. So now I’m very powerful and able to cast spells that would have destroyed me without Calimsha’s help. Then you come along, some orphaned brat that not only is naturally more powerful in magic than I am but has a better rapport with Calimsha than even I do!? Yet still, I endure this in order to further my ability with magic. How in the hells is this FAIR!?!? You pathetic child! What have you EVER sacrificed for the magic?” Rashlarr was so angry with him, spittle was flying from his mouth. Before Tartum could answer, Rashlarr slapped him across the face.
“If you ask me, it’s about time the magic demanded something back from you! There isn’t a caster in the world that wouldn’t kill their own children to possess half the ability with magic you have! It’s time for you to take off your rose colored glasses, and join the rest of us in the real world, you wretch!” Rashlarr began to walk away from him, when another thought occured to him, and he spun around.
“You know, it’s not even that big of a sacrifice. It’s not like you have to kill Elizabeth or give up control of your body. You dump Elizabeth, or you dump your magic. Either way, life goes on and you’re stronger for it. For someone as clever as you are, you’re really quite stupid! Get out of my room! NOW!” Rashlarr bellowed at him.
Tartum had never felt lower in his life and did as Rashlarr ordered. As he walked back towards his own room, he thought about everything Rashlarr and Calimsha had said to him. He wanted to hate Rashlarr for talking to him like that. He still couldn’t believe the man had hit him! He would have doubted it actually happened, if it hadn’t been for the trickle of blood running from his lip. By the time he had walked the short distance to his room, he had come to the conclusion that Rashlarr was right. He was being selffish about the situation. He had known what he was going to do, even before Rashlarr kicked him. He just didn’t want to. Not so much because he was worried ab
out anyone else’s feelings or some warped sense of loyality. It just hadn’t been part of his plan, so he had felt it shouldn’t apply to him. The realization made him a little disgusted with himself. He knew what he wanted, and he knew what he was going to do. He also decided that after Rashlarr had some time to cool off, he would apologize for his behavior.
Walking into his room, he wasn’t totally surprised to see Elizabeth sitting in his chair waiting for him. Buddy had his head in her lap, and she was petting him. When he walked into the room, they looked up at him. Elizabeth smiled brightly, and Buddy barked his greeting. The way they greeted him made him doubt his decision.
Looking at Elizabeth and Buddy, he had a vision of his future if he stayed with Elizabeth. He saw them in a large home somewhere in the city. It was lavishly furnished, and Elizabeth was pregnant with one of their children. Buddy was older but still in the prime of his life. Tartum imagined he was still a thief, but now he saw himself wearing a merchant’s apron, and he got the feeling he worked in Shu-Shu’s store. He saw himself growing old with Elizabeth, a full, normal life, with all the joys and sorrows a life like that provided. He also could tell he no longer had the ability to wield magic. There was no adventure, no glory, no power. If anything, it seemed he was almost a slave to Elizabeth’s whims. Although he saw it was a comfortable and safe life, he also saw it was mundane and boring. He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them, he was back in the present with Elizabeth standing in front of him; the smile still on her face. She was reaching out to hug him; he knew if she did, he would never be able to do what he needed to.
The Jade Mage: The Becoming: Volume 2 Page 21