by Brett Baker
He sat in the chair and I sat on the couch, near the edge at first, but then against the back of it, crossing one leg over the other, spreading my left arm along the top edge, looking entirely comfortable and relaxed.
“Can I offer you a drink,” he asked, standing up. “We’ve begun producing some great craft beer around here.”
“No, thank you,” I said.
“So what brings you here, Mia?” he asked, sitting back down in the chair.
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re not sure?” he asked.
“That’s right. I’m not sure if I’m here because of the forestry bill or because you had an affair with Cleo Flume.” Up until that moment Green appeared ready to ignore the fact that he recognized my name, and acted as if he wanted to treat me as just another visitor to his office. I saw no purpose in beating around the bush though, especially when I had so many questions for him. And whether the forestry bill or Cleo Flume caused the change in his demeanor, I’m not sure. But he transformed from a cool, relaxed expression, to one of anxious anticipation.
He cleared his throat twice, stood up, and walked over to the refrigerator positioned behind a silk screen that displayed the 39 historical U.S. flag designs. He grabbed a large bottle of beer, pried the cap off, took a giant swig, and meandered back to the chair. He looked at the beer, Collective Distortion IPA, from Stone Brewing Company, slapped his lips together, and said, “You know, Mia, I’ve been in congress a long time now. Almost ten years. And the thing that surprised me most was how much everyone drinks. It didn’t surprise me that the staffers and the lobbyists drink so much. You’ve got to be a little drunk to kiss that much ass all day. But the members drink, too. Beer, wine, cocktails, whatever. If they’re awake, they’re drinking. That’s why things get so fucked up, everyone who’s supposed to be running the place is too damn drunk to know what they’re doing. I didn’t drink until I entered Congress. Now, here I am, middle of the day, and I’m starting already.” He took a swig of his beer and smiled at me. “So why are you here, Mia? For real. Surely you’re not here to bust my balls over Cleo Flume.”
“We’ll get to Cleo later,” I said. “I’m here about H.R. 3650.”
“Yeah, I kind of guessed that,” Green said. “But I guess we’ve created a situation in which you, 3650 and Cleo are all intertwined, haven’t we? Difficult to separate one from the other now that you’ve made the connection. By the way, just out of curiosity, how did you connect Cleo with me?”
“She made the connection herself. I tracked her down to talk to her about Abner Chamberlain, and she mentioned you.”
Green looked slightly surprised to hear Chamberlain’s name. “What’s your deal with Chamberlain?”
“I found out that he knew me. Or knew my name. Knew that I could stop 3650.”
“So you worked with Chamberlain?”
“No. I found out about him after he died. I’d never heard of him before that. Then he just happens to have my name written on a piece of paper in his cabin. I wanted to find out why he was interested in me.”
“Well, surely knowing about 3650 helps explain it, doesn’t it? I’d think it’s rather obvious why he’s interested in you. He’s an environmentalist, and he and his wacko liberal buddies think that 3650 is some anti-environment bill so they’re trying to stop it.”
“It’s not an anti-environment bill?” I asked.
“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous, Mia! I represent one of the most-forested areas in the entire country. Why would I introduce a bill that would threaten those forests? People who live in my district live there because they love the landscape. Changing the landscape would piss off a lot of people, and my name’s on the damn bill, so everyone would know who to blame. It’d be political suicide to pass a bill that destroyed the forest in the way that Chamberlain and his posse have alleged.”
“So then what are you trying to do?”
“It’s a simple bill. There are millions of acres of forest spread out across the country and administered by the federal government. All this bill does is direct the Forest Service to transfer up to two million acres per state back to the state to control and administer. Very simple.”
“What’s the reasoning?” I asked. “What difference does it make if the feds control it or the states control it?”
“These are vast tracts of lands that are expensive to maintain, and, the federal government just isn’t up to the task of doing so. Better to return these lands to local control because local authorities are more familiar with the land, more familiar with local resources that can be employed to manage the land, and it eases the strain on the Forest Service, which has seen their budget reduced every year for more than a decade.”
“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked. “You’re giving me the spin version of this, aren’t you?”
“I’m giving you the truthful version of it,” Green said. “I don’t deal in bullshit. I don’t have time for it. There are important problems that need solutions and the lefties are just upset because they don’t like this solution. It’s a knee-jerk reaction though. No one loses in this deal.”
“If no one loses then that means no one wins. And Congress has no incentive to do anything if no one wins. I think you’re full of shit.”
Green laughed and took another swig of his beer. “I appreciate your candor. I understand why you think that. Many people do. But it’s just not the truth. This bill makes sense for everyone involved.”
“Then why did Chamberlain want to stop it?”
“I don’t know,” Green said. “You’ll have to ask him.”
I nodded and looked at Green, but said nothing. I let the idiocy of his statement linger.
“So regardless of whether this bill is good or not, why did you tell Cleo that I could stop it?”
“Oh come on, Mia. You don’t believe that do you? One person can stop a bill? If you believe that then you really have no idea how this government works. Nothing happens or doesn’t happen because of one person.”
“Then you’re calling Cleo a liar?” I asked. “Because she said that you were worried about me. That you told her that I could stop this bill, and that made you worried. How can I stop it?”
“Cleo Flume can’t be trusted,” Green said. “She’s a liar, a cheat, and she’ll do whatever’s best for her, no matter what the circumstances. I don’t know why she made up this story about you, but that’s what it is. Completely made up.”
“So you’re denying that you gave Cleo my name?”
“I wouldn’t share any sensitive information with her. She doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut. This is exhibit A. She just wants to be involved. She wants to feel important. So she makes up some story to tell Chamberlain, and now she’s telling you the same story.”
“Then where did she get my name?”
“I have no idea. She could have made up your name and Googled you to see if you exist. I think she wanted to enamor herself even more deeply with Chamberlain so she created a bogus person who supposedly knew some bogus information that would help defeat a bill that he opposed. She’s lucky he never got in contact with you because you would have revealed that she’s full of shit.” Green took another drink of his beer and held it out to me. “You should try some. It’s delicious. I can get you your own if you’d like.”
“No, I think we’re almost done here. I just have a couple more questions.”
“Suit yourself,” Green said.
“If this is such a great bill, then why hasn’t it passed yet? If no one loses, then why does the environmental lobby oppose it?”
“The legislative process takes time. But believe me, it’s going to pass. The bill is simply too good, and the benefits are too great, for it not to pass.”
“And now with Chamberlain out of the way it’ll be much easier,” I said. “Funny how that works.”
“Excuse me, Ms. Mathis, what are you implying? Is there something you wish to say? It sounds to me like you’re comin
g dangerously close to tying this piece of legislation to Abner Chamberlain’s death.”
“Congressman Green, it seems rather coincidental, and entirely beneficial for you, that Abner Chamberlain died when he did. I think it’s only logical to inquire as to whether the person who had the most to gain from a man’s death had anything to do with his death.”
“You think I had the most to gain from his death?”
“Cleo tells me that you stood to gain quite a bit.”
“Like what?” Green asked, his tone short and sharp.
“Like passing the bill for one,” I said. “And whatever comes along with that.”
“Nothing comes along with it. What Chamberlain and all his minions don’t understand is that this is a forestry bill, plain and simple. Nothing exciting or spectacular about it. And to imply different is intellectual dishonesty. They’re full of shit.”
“Then why does the lobby oppose it?”
“Why do they oppose anything?” Green asked. “They make a living by telling the public that the environment is going to shit and that we’re to blame. If there’s no conflict then they have no campaign to run on in order to make money. Conflict pays their salaries. You can sit there and spout all you want about me having the most to gain from Chamberlain’s death, but you’re asking the wrong question. You should be asking who stood to gain the most by making the public afraid of this bill? And that answer is Chamberlain and his movement. They play on the public’s worst fears about the environment in order to coerce them in to giving money to Chamberlain and his ilk, which supports them. Helps them avoid getting real jobs. Part of this process is corrupt, but you’re looking in the wrong place. The corruption isn’t here, it’s on the other side.”
“What did you tell Cleo about me?”
“I didn’t tell her anything,” Green yelled. “I already told you, the woman is delusional, and she probably created your name out of thin air to have something to share with Chamberlain.”
“Well then, I have just one more question.”
“Ask all you want,” Green said. “I’m glad to talk to you.” He flashed that dopey smile and I wanted to tell him to stop smiling and try looking like that official portrait that hung in his window.
“When I came into the office the young woman at the desk made it clear that you had no time to see me. You’re very busy, you get lots of visitors, blah, blah, bullshit. There was no way she was going to let me see you. And then, through some miracle of miracles, you have time to see me. So what changed in those few minutes? Something made her change her mind from ‘No, he can’t see you,’ to ‘Of course, come in, right through there.’ Why did you see agree to see me?”
“Well, Mia, I always try to make time for my constituents, and…”
“No, sir. I made clear to her that I was not a constituent of yours, and she made clear to me that you had no time. Then something changed and you suddenly had time. And the only thing that changed was that I gave her my name. I didn’t tell her why I was here, I only gave her my name. And my name alone got me in here. So you expect me to believe that you didn’t give my name to Cleo Flume? You expect me to believe that Cleo just made it all up? That you didn’t think, ‘Oh shit, why is she here?’ as soon as you heard my name. That’s what you expect me to believe.”
“I’m sorry, Mia, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I’ve got a full calendar today and a lot of work left to do.”
“Yes, I know. You’re very busy. I’ve heard.”
Green stood up, drank the last few ounces of beer from the bottom of the bottle, put it on the table in front of us, and waved his arm as if to show me the way to the door. I didn’t move.
“Actually, I have another question for you, Congressman Green. I notice the children in the picture on the table behind your desk. Are those your children?”
“Yes, I have a nine-year-old son and a five-year-old daughter.”
“Do you see them often?”
“Not as often as I’d like. My work takes me away from them quite often, and now with the divorce I would have only seen them half the time anyway.”
“Ahh, so you’re divorced. Mrs. Green found out about Cleo?”
“I told her. Not about Cleo. About Molly. Cleo was just a fling. Molly was the real thing.”
“Who’s Molly?” I asked. “Did Cleo know about her?”
“Molly’s my fiancé. She’s shown me a relationship that I didn’t even know existed.”
“She must be great if you walked out on your family for her.”
“I didn’t walk out on my family,” Green said, wringing his hands at his waist.
“But you just said that you rarely see your kids. And that’s because you left for another woman. What part of ‘I walked out on my family’ doesn’t apply?”
“Cleo was a fling. She seduced me, and I was weak and I fell for her. And I met Molly soon after things ended with Cleo. With Molly I found what I didn’t know I was looking for.”
“You mean someone with whom you could pretend to be young and carefree again?”
“It’s time for you to go, Mia. I don’t know why I’m discussing this with you. Frankly, it’s none of your damn business.”
“I’m just curious how you justify something like this,” I asked. “When a man chooses to walk out on his family, that’s a major decision that affects many lives. The thinking behind such an act interests me.”
“This conversation is over,” Green said. He walked toward the door and opened it. I didn’t move. He waved his hands as if shooing me out of the room, but I just shook my head.
“This has nothing to do with why I’m here,” I said. “I’m just curious.”
Green heaved a burdened sigh, closed the door, and stared up at the ceiling. He walked back toward me and sat down in the chair once again. “When I told Veronica about the affair, I told her I couldn’t stop seeing or talking to Molly. I told her the truth. Perhaps I would have temporarily stopped, but the desire for her would always exist. Veronica decided that wasn't good enough, and, frankly, I don’t blame her. I chose not to suffer through a mediocre marriage when my thoughts would always be with someone else. I felt like we had nothing to fight for. The kids deserve happy parents and a happy marriage. They would never have gotten that had I stayed. I didn’t want to be roommates for the sake of my kids, who are perceptive.”
I started laughing. I didn’t intend to, but I couldn’t handle Green’s ridiculousness, so either I had to laugh or I had to punch him in the face. “You don’t believe that, do you?”
“I don’t expect you to understand,” Green said. “I don’t expect anyone to understand. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and neither has she. What I feel for her is above and beyond everything.”
“I’m sure,” I said, not concealing my eye roll. “So you’re able to justify this by telling yourself that you’re doing it for your kids? ‘The kids deserve happy parents and a happy marriage.’ And you’re an unhappy parent stuck in an unhappy marriage, so your solution is to walk out on them and end your unhappy marriage? No thoughts of fixing your unhappy marriage?”
“There was nothing to fix,” Green said. “She never made me feel special, she was a bore.”
“Are you fifteen years old?” I asked.
“Look, you can get the hell out of here right now. I’m tired of having this discussion with you.”
“No, no. Just another minute. I feel like I’m close to understanding this. You were stuck in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage, and your kids are so damn perceptive, so selfless, so in tune with your emotional state, that you know that what they really deserve is happy parents in a happy marriage. Your kids don’t necessarily need to be happy, or have stability, or continue the only life they’ve ever known, they just need their parents to be happy. Does that sum it up?”
“Do you know what it’s like to be ignored by your spouse? I mean, I lost a bunch of weight and added ten pounds of muscle and she didn’t say a word.�
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“So you left your family because your wife didn’t stroke your ego enough? You are fifteen years old, aren’t you?”
“Fuck you,” Green said. He again stood up and walked over to the door. “It’s time for you to leave, or I’ll have you escorted out.”
“Okay, okay, I’m leaving,” I said. “I’m very in tune with my surroundings, and what I deserve more than anything is a happy congressman, so I won’t upset you too much. I’m sorry if I raised a touchy subject. I wish you and Molly all the best.”
“Thank you. She’s happy, I’m happy. She loves my kids, I love her kids.”
“Wow, she has kids, too? Does she realize that her kids just deserve happy parents as well?” Green looked at me as if he might rip my heart out of my chest. Before I left the room I stopped and reached my hand out to shake his. To my surprise, he grasped my hand and displayed his best politician smile, which was horrific. “One last thing though. Just a little something for you to think about. As your kids get older, you might want to refine your explanation of why you walked out on them. Telling them that they deserve happy parents, and then showing them that what makes you happy is seeing them only the minimum amount of time required by law probably won’t do much for their self-worth and self-esteem. And also, you’ll probably have to explain to them why Molly’s kids ended up with more of your time throughout their childhood than they did. So good luck.”
I patted him on the shoulder, turned and walked out of the room. He slammed the door behind me, and as I passed Slopping Suzy I thanked her for her assistance. After my visit with Green I was no closer to finding out why he’d given my name to Chamberlain. I’d hoped he could explain it to me, but as with most missions during my time with The Summit, nothing had gone as planned.