“Yeah, sorry about that. I took some time off. Needed to clear my head, you know?”
Koi laughs and it is a rusty, harsh sound. It reminds me of how lost he seemed when I first met him. “Don’t we all? I was wondering. How are you doing? Your name is moving through some interesting circles these days.”
It’s my turn to laugh and I wonder if it sounds just as hollow. “Yeah, well. It’s always a challenge to elevate one’s living circumstances.”
“Well, I knew that if anyone could do it, it would be you. You were always special like that, Fallon.”
A blush spreads across my cheeks. It was Koi who had showed me the light about my sexuality. That I could have all of the kinky things I truly craved without having to take it to a dark place. I could be happy without making people around me miserable.
“Thanks, Koi. You are pretty special yourself,” I say, completely meaning it. Koi had been a little messed up but in that place, we all were.
“Anyway…I was wondering if it would be okay for us to meet up. You know, catch up for old time’s sake.”
I open my mouth, completely prepared to say yes. Why wouldn’t I go out with Koi? We’d have a few drinks and a couple laughs before…
We had sex.
I jerk back from the phone as if it’s on fire. I didn’t realize what this call was until right this moment. “Are you calling me for sex?”
Koi laughs as if it’s no big thing. “Yeah. Isn’t that what we do? What you’re into?”
I swallow. Koi is right. A few months ago, I would have said yes without a second thought. Why not? I like him and he’s good in bed. I need to blow off some steam and he’s just the kind of person I could do it with. I know without a doubt that if I sleep with him, there would be no harm in it. He isn’t attached to me romantically and he has just as much to lose as me if the paparazzi caught wind.
But there is Harper.
Harper, who dominates my thoughts. Harper, who would never even consider going out with other girls without telling me who, for how long, and what they’d be doing while they socialized. If I even looked like I wanted him to say no, Harper would do so in a heartbeat.
I shook my head. No matter how easy or good it would be to sleep with Koi…I can’t do it.
“Look, I appreciate the call but…”
I trail off and Koi picks up my sentence for me. “Is it that guy the media has been pairing you with a lot lately?”
“You’ve seen him?”
“Yeah but I was hoping it was just the vultures making a mountain out of a molehill.”
“No, not this time.” I sound a little breathy and I bite my bottom lip to keep from sighing. “He’s the real deal.”
For a second Koi is quiet. Then I can hear the smile in his voice. “I’m really happy for you, Fallon. You deserve that.”
A weight lifts from my shoulders. As if I’ve been carrying something that I didn’t even realize. I gently lay it on the ground and suddenly feel ten times lighter. It’s the same way I felt months back when I went through my phone and deleted all of my no-good contacts. Like I had freed myself from something holding me back.
Like I had gotten rid of a bad habit that I had had for the last couple of years.
Koi and I speak for a few more minutes, but we both know the conversation is over. When we finally hang up, I know I won’t hear from him again. Oddly enough, that thought doesn’t make me sad. Instead, I feel…fulfilled.
As if I have completed a journey and Koi has been beside me throughout it. Once we reached our destination, our paths split but we were both better for the partnership.
I pocket my phone and head to the table where my laptop is waiting.
On the front screen is a website I had left open. I am planning a trip to Bora Bora, a present to myself for all of my hard work and success in the last couple of months. I’ll only be gone a week—the maximum amount of time I feel that my businesses can maintain profit without my special touch—but it is exactly what I need.
The only thing I’m not sure of is whether or not I want Harper to come.
A trip together would be a big step for any relationship. It wouldn’t just be a test of whether or not we could spend time together. We would basically be living together in all of that time. I don’t know why but the thought makes me nervous.
Up until now, everything that has happened between us has been perfect. What if we get to a point where we are sharing space and he turns out to be a completely different person? The possibility turns my stomach but I know I need to find out.
I need to know if we are as compatible as we both feel we are.
I click a few buttons on the page and then I hold my breath as I pull my phone out of my pocket. I dial Harper’s number and he picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, Fallon. How was the gym?”
“It was fine.” I say softly.
Harper knows me too well. He can tell instantly that something is wrong. I hear him moving from wherever he’s at. He closes a door to give us privacy and I find myself smiling. He didn’t even bother to ask if I needed to talk. Nor did he excuse himself from where he was. He just got up and left, immediately wanting to provide me with what I needed.
That’s just how he is.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I can’t help it. I tell him everything. I tell him about Koi and how I know him. I tell him how I felt during the call and the temptation that hounded me. Through it all, Harper listens without saying a word. I can hear his deep, even breathing as I spill my soul. I don’t know why I start crying but Harper listens through my blubbering, never once interrupting me as I say what I need to get out.
Once I wind down, his gentle voice fills my ears. “It’s okay, Fallon. I understand what you need and I want you to know that I want to give you that. I want to be everything that you need and I’m happy that you’re giving me the chance to do so.”
I hiccup. “But I…I thought about it.”
He laughs, but it’s not a rusty sound like it was with Koi. Instead, it is warm and soothing, a comforting sound. “Of course you did. You are a sexual, vivacious creature. You have needs and you have been keeping them under control for several months. I am impressed by your self-restraint.”
I wipe my eyes. “Really?”
“Really. You are a deeply respectable woman, my opal.”
The endearment makes me shiver with pleasure. He called me that as if he really meant it. As if I were a precious commodity.”
“I am sorry that you are in so much pain.” I quickly move to tell him I’m not but he continues as if he knows I want to make him feel better. “Please tell me you understand why you and I are not doing as this Koi person wished to do tonight.”
“I…I don’t really understand, no.”
Harper nods through the phone. “I see. I apologize; it is my fault for not explaining it. Fallon, you are…how can I say this? You are sacred to me. Your mind, your heart, and especially your body. I want to cherish you in all ways and I do not want to run the risk of weakening our emotional bond while it is still growing. I want to build up a true relationship before we throw in the chaos of the physical.”
What he says makes sense in more ways than I want to admit. He wants something more than just sex from me. I can’t say it’s something that I’m used to. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I have spent some time in my distant past confusing sex with love.
Harper wants to make sure we never do that.
“I know what you mean.”
Harper’s grin can be heard through the phone. I love how in-tune I am with him, how easy it is for me to track the movements of his body, even when I can’t see him. “I believe that you do. No one would understand better than you.”
I flush with pleasure, loving that he knows me so well. Now, more than ever, I know this man was meant for me—made for me. We will only grow stronger in our affections for each other.
“Harper…I was wondering if yo
u had plans for next week.”
“Nothing that cannot be rearranged for you.”
I smile again, knowing that he has several meetings near the end of the week. I had planned to schedule the trip around them so that he could do everything he needed to get done but here he is, absolving me of even that. He is the most thoughtful man I have ever been with.
“Would you like to go on a trip with me? I’d take care of all of the planning and the scheduling. I just want us to have some time away.”
“I would love to, my opal.”
I blush again and we iron out some of the details I’m missing while I still have him on the phone. I am surprised by how much of the planning he wants to have a part in. He asks lots of questions about the things I want to do and where I want us to stay. He even asks me about the prep work I will have to put in before we can even get on the plane.
Afterwards, we go over a few details about the attractions I want to visit. He has some suggestions of his own and I realize what a valuable resource his experience is. By the time we hang up, I know exactly what we’ll be doing for the first couple of days on the trip.
I go back to my laptop moments after we’re done and sit down to order the rest of the tickets. Before I can even put my fingertips to the keyboard, a notification chimes in my inbox.
Harper has already gotten the plane tickets—first class—and has booked the room. I sit back in my chair, eyes wide. When had he found the time to do this? We had literally gotten off the phone less than two minutes ago.
I rub my hands over my face. This is the type of man I have wanted my entire life. The kind who would see my needs and simply meet them. No uncertainty, no questions, and no judgment. He just does what needs to be done when it needs to be done.
Some part of me wonders if I even deserve this. I am just a woman. The evil mainstream media has tried to break me down, has tried to make me into nothing but I have beaten them by creating a persona that no one could hope to breach. By pretending to be someone who couldn’t be broken.
To the outside world, I have to always remain infallible but this man manages to see through those shields. He looks past the things that I wrap around myself, and he takes care of me in ways that no one else can.
I look around my condo and shudder. This space of living was a present from one of my clients during my Sugar Baby days. It was bought by a man who had purchased a lot of my time and had “owned” me for a brief moment. But now when I look around, I see not the abode that I bought with my sex but the things that fill it.
Harper has had fresh flowers delivered to my home every day since we met. They fill the air with a sweet, delicate fragrance. He has bought me present after present and they have taken over this space with their quiet, thoughtful presence.
It isn’t the money he has spent that makes it mean something. It is the thought and time he has put into each item. He has bought me expensive vases and crystal that sit upon engraved shelving that he has custom ordered.
But he has also bought me a cheap, twenty-dollar painting that I saw in a bookstore and loved. I didn’t even expect him to remember the little thing because it hadn’t been on sale at the time but after we left he had gone back and spoken to the manager on my behalf.
He’d secure it, even though the beady-eyed manager hadn’t wanted to give it to him at all. When he refused, Harper had just gone to the general manager of the store and made sure I got what I wanted.
Because I wanted it.
Tears of joy swim in my vision when I look at the painting. It is one of the cheesiest things I own, mounted on the wall next to gallery pieces and sophisticated collections. But I love it just as much as I am beginning to love him…and that scares me.
Chapter Fourteen
I step into the room and walk through the expansive hallway while Harper tips the bellboy. Inspecting the three-room hotel suite gives me a rush that I never get tired of. There is gleaming stone on the ground of this hotel. It’s a little abnormal and in any other place, it would probably seem out of place and strange. However, since we are right on the beach, it makes perfect sense to me.
Besides that, like everything in my life, the decorations and furnishings of the rooms are high quality and nice. There is a warmth to this place that I don’t think you get in many countries. Bora Bora is an island that is happy to see to my comforts—exactly what I need.
“Thank you very much,” the bellhop sounds enthusiastic as he tells Harper that he will personally see to any additional needs we might have during our trip. I smile as I walk by the fully renovated kitchenette that I have no intention of using. Why would we cook when we are on vacation? Especially with the restaurant options that the island offers.
I continue moving through what is essentially a mini-apartment until I come to the double doors that lead to our balcony. The hotel itself isn’t very large. It’s a very expensive, highly exclusive establishment that only has about twelve of these suites. As I step out onto the gated porch, I really get an appreciation of why. The hotel is tucked into a nice little cove of the island and offers a private beach to each of its temporary residents. Our balcony has a set of winding stairs off to the side that lead right into the sand.
The smell of the sea and the feel of the warm wind against my face make me sigh with pleasure. My flow-y sundress brushes against my legs and some of my hair comes out of the hasty ponytail I put it into when we stepped off the plane. I drag more of the fresh air into my lungs and envision some of the tension leaving my body when I breathe out. Even though I love the hustle and bustle of the city, I have a deep appreciation for island life.
If I weren’t so busy, I would consider buying a house somewhere around here. A place where I could just breathe for a few days a month.
I gasp a little when Harper comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. For a moment, he just holds me and I know he has the same appreciation for the scene in front of me as I do. Before I realize what’s happened, we’re both swaying in the breeze, moving in sync with one another and the world around us. Words aren’t needed. We know exactly what the other is thinking, even without saying a word.
I don’t know how long we stand there. For once the time doesn’t matter and I can just enjoy being with him. I have no press conferences to schedule and I’ve even left my cell phone off. If there is an emergency, Johnni knows how to reach me. But this time is sacred. Just me and Harper.
“Are you hungry?” After a while, his voice rumbles in his chest, vibrating against my back. I inhale deeply, loving the way his scent mingles with what’s around us, heightening my relaxed state.
“I could eat.” My voice sounds wispy in my own ears and I smile.
“Good. I already ordered a tray of fruit and breads to be brought down to the beach. We can sit under the palm trees and eat at one of the tables.”
Again, his thoughtfulness touches me and I have to duck my chin to keep from exposing how affected I am by how well he takes care of me. Again, I am assaulted by the fact that I think I’m falling in love with him. Can I really trust someone else with the most vulnerable parts of my heart?
He rubs his hands along my shoulders. “You’re tensing up. Is something the matter?”
I shake my head immediately and spin around to face him. I flash him my brightest smile, completely meaning it. “No, nothing. Everything is perfect. Why don’t you get washed up?”
He looks down at his crisp, white suit and grimaces. “I suppose I could use a change of clothes. Traveling can really wear you out.”
I nod, completely agreeing. “You hop in the shower and I’ll get changed before we eat.”
He leans down and I suck in a breath. I live for the moments where he kisses me. His mouth brushes against mine and it’s as if I were struck by lightning. Electricity bolts from my head all the way down to my toes and it stops at my clit on the way there. I am immediately completely ready for anything he wants to do to me and when I open my eyes and look into the darker
storms of his, I know he feels it too.
“Fallon…” He trails off and for a moment, I see the hunger behind his gaze. He wants me. Maybe he even wants me more badly than I want him. His self-control is something to be marveled at. I know that he’s suffering—that much is clear when I look at the front of his pants—but he’s holding back…for me.
I put my hands against his chest and give him a little push backward. Relief and resistance both flash across his face before he lets me move him backward. He smiles and I smile back, glad that I was able to help him resist doing what he really wants. “Go. Before we get too distracted.”
He laughs the way he always does when I tease him and my heart lightens. This is what a real relationship should be like. Even though I’m wetter than I’ve ever been before, even though I’ve never been this sexually frustrated, I am content just to be near him. To be his girlfriend.
My stomach does the same flip-flop it does whenever I think of myself as his girlfriend. I have dated before. Obviously, I have been with people besides him. But that word has never felt more…right. More meaningful.
He kisses me again, quickly this time. When he pulls away I can feel him shaking and I delight in the power I hold over this impressive man. He has never wanted anyone as much as he wants me. And maybe I feel the same way.
When he vanishes into the bathroom, I release the breath I didn’t realized I was holding. I laugh a little at the absurdity of the moment. The man literally just stole my breath away. Shaking my head, I move into the bedroom where the bellhop left our bags. My eyes light up when I realize that Harper paid the guy extra to also unpack everything for us. I walk into the closet and find all of my clothing neatly hanging up.
“You wonderful, wonderful man.” I whisper, even though he can’t hear me.
I quickly select a hot-pink monokini and go to the half-bath to get ready. I clean up quickly and slip it on before finding a deep purple sarong to tie around my waist. I redo the ponytail at the back of my neck and find a pair of matching flip-flops with shimmering jewels on them. By the time I wash my face and apply sunscreen, Harper is standing at the bottom of the stairs off the balcony, waiting for me.
Love Through LimeLight Page 9