His breath sweeps over the top of my head. “I swear. And Fallon?”
His heart rate speeds up. I feel mine do the same. Even though I don’t know what he is thinking, I know it will be something I enjoy. Maybe he’s thinking the same sexy thoughts I am. “Yes, Harper?”
“I plan to satisfy you in every way you have ever wanted. Anything you need, all you have to do is tell me and you shall have it.”
The dark promise in his voice makes me tremble against his hold. He knows exactly what I’m thinking and if his tone is any indication, he’s thinking it too. There it is again, that inkling that I should be very afraid of this man. That he could gobble me up and I would ask him for more.
Harper is dangerous.
And I love it.
Chapter Nineteen
“It’s been three months. How long does it take to plan a wedding?”
I groan at Johnni’s question. I have asked the same question. I’ve always been the type of person who goes after exactly what I want, so I expected to be married by now. But every detail has to be perfect in a wedding as big as this one. The guest list even has royalty on it. It has to be spectacular. “You have no idea.”
He laughs. “Have you at least settled on a color palette? You know you’re being too picky, right?”
I huff. “I’m not. I want something classy but sexy. Is that so hard? My planner doesn’t seem to get it. I’m not asking for much.”
Johnni snorted. “Lanae Starke is one of the most successful wedding planners in the world. She not only makes beautiful dresses, she’s got all the strings to pull when it comes to vendors and designers.”
“Then why can’t she give me what I want?”
“Maybe because you’re impossible to please?”
I growl, throwing myself back into a sitting position. “I know exactly what colors I want, you know.”
“Oh, really. And what are those?”
I riffle through my purse until I find my swatches. The four colors I hold up are bold. They’re not the whitewashed colors Lanae keeps trying to push on me.
Johnni whistles. “Red for a summer wedding is pretty ballsy.”
It takes all of my willpower not to flip my hair. “So? It’s sexy and vibrant. I think that matches my personality better than the sage and sandalwood she keeps trying to get me to go with.”
Johnni taps a long, blunt finger against his chin. “Sage and cream would go with your skin color.” He cuts me off when I open my mouth to argue with him. “But! I think these colors would work. It would be hard for anyone else to pull off but you could do it.”
I preen, sliding the cards back into my bag. Johnni’s approval is what I have been waiting for. I know he won’t lie to me and he knows a thing or two about fashion. I text Lanae with my response to her suggestion.
Not even three seconds pass before she responds. Okay, we’ll go with the reds. Do you still want a white gown?
We have also discussed the cut of my gown in the last couple months. I want to go with an elegant heart-cut corset and a mermaid silhouette. She wants to dress me like a cupcake. I tilt my head to the side, looking at my screen. If she wants to dress me like a cupcake, I wouldn’t mind a few sprinkles. About that…
I explain what I have in mind.
She responds to my idea quickly and with exclamation marks.
I have a moment of relief before she starts texting me about the rest of the details we have to iron out.
I groan again, collapsing against the lounge in Johnni’s lavish living room. Johnni and I have always had similar tastes when it comes to furnishings. He likes a bit more color than I am comfortable with in my dwellings, but everything in his five-bedroom brownstone is high-end. Cream leather and white metal are highlighted by plum accents and dark ribbons of brown. I can appreciate the attention to detail he puts into every single element in the homey space.
I will mourn the necessary changes to baby-proof the house.
He laughs and hands me a drink. I don’t even stop to figure out what it is. Instead, I throw it into the back of my throat and swallow. “Ugh. Is this mixed?”
“Nope. You looked like you needed something straight.”
I toss him a grateful grin before closing my eyes. “I’ve been with the planner all day. She had sixteen band options. Six. Teen.”
Johnni tries to hide his laughter but I hear it in his voice. “You should have done what Evan and I did.”
I shake my head. “That wouldn’t work. The paparazzi would have a field day if I eloped. Not to mention all of the people we know. Can you imagine how many angry phone calls I’d have to field?”
“Or dodge. Just ignore them.”
“That works so well.”
The walkie-talkie on the coffee table chimes and I pry open one eye to get a glimpse at the baby on the screen. “Mr. Johnni, the baby is down for her nap. Would you like for me to prepare tea for you and Ms. Opal?”
Johnni glances at me and I shake my head. I ate with the planner so I’m not hungry. The only thing I want to drink at the moment is alcoholic. Johnni pushes a button on top of the walkie-talkie and responds. “Thanks, Liota. We don’t need anything at the moment. Why don’t you crack open that book while you wait for Semaj to wake up?”
The nanny sighs. “You know I prefer to read on my downtime.”
Johnni grins. “I know. But you know much I like it when you’re well rested and relaxed around the baby.”
It’s my turn to hide my grin. Johnni and Evan are great parents. They make every decision for their baby as if it were the end of the world. Lately, they have decided that “positive vibes” are the only kind allowed around the baby. They are absolutely positive that negativity will stunt her growth.
“Yes, sir. I’ll get right on that.”
“Thanks, Liota.”
Johnni catches the look I’m giving him and shrugs. “Better safe than sorry.”
This time I can’t hide my laughter and he throws a pillow at me. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re just so maternal.”
Johnni pours me another drink. “Well, after all of the hoops we had to jump through in order to adopt her? Damn right, I’m maternal. I feel like I could pick up a bus if she needed me to.”
I fan my face. “Whoa. Fierce. This is a good look for you.”
Johnni winks at me. “Of course it is. All looks are good on me.”
Giggling, I sit back. It’s been too long since I’ve had a chance to meet up with Johnni. It feels like we’ve spent the entire year apart. Between my wedding plans and his adoption, we haven’t had many chances to get out and party.
And that is okay.
That isn’t my life anymore. I am a different person now. Maybe I’ve grown up a little. Or maybe I’ve grown a little more boring. Either way, I don’t care. I am happy with the way things are going.
“So,” Johnni says and pours a third drink, forcing me to keep pace with him. “What’s this I hear about you dabbling in activism?”
Heat spreads across my face. I hadn’t meant for this information to be out in the grapevine but as usual—when it is me—everything moves at warp speed. “It’s no big deal. I signed a few petitions and one of my causes asked me if I would act as a spokesperson.”
Johnni shifts in his lounger. “Are you sure you want to step into that world? It might be just as cutthroat as the last world you tore apart. Maybe even more so.”
If he were anyone else, I would hedge. But with Johnni, I never have reason to lie or pretend. “I think I might be up for the challenge. I could help a lot of people with my resources and pull.”
I hold my breath as I wait for his response. He takes another swig from his drink before nodding. “You’re right. You could. And it’s not like you’re afraid of causing waves. Hell, you’re like a walking tsunami, just waiting to swallow up some poor, unsuspecting island.”
I laugh and even more tension leaves my body. “Only if that island is something unjust. I’m looking for real cha
nge here.”
“Change, huh? That’s a tall order. You might have to climb pretty high in order to make that happen.”
I shrug one shoulder. “I haven’t made any decisions yet but I have no doubt that it will be difficult. There’s always some obstacle to overcome.”
Johnni is quiet for a few minutes. He just watches me as if I’m a bug under a microscope. Then he lifts his glass to me. “You’re different lately, Fallon. Better. And I don’t just mean because you have a good man now.”
His praise makes me blush. I think he’s right.
I am better now. Older, stronger, more assured.
And I have Harper. My rock. He keeps me stable and grounded when things feel like they’re out of hand. I have always been the kind of person who can handle a crisis with grace and poise. But with him around, I feel like maybe I don’t have to keep myself quite so aloof.
I reach for Johnni’s drink and swallow the rest of it in one gulp. He claps a little and I give a bow.
He teases me when I pick up my phone again, ready to conquer all of the decisions I’d been avoiding. “Look out, world, Fallon’s got her game face on.”
I wink right back at him. “You know it.”
Chapter Twenty
Fifteen days later, I’m still thinking about what Johnni said as I stand in front of two closed double doors. My bridal party has already passed through and I am simply waiting for the music to change and cue my entry.
I have planned the details myself. Every second is carefully plotted out, so I know the wait only lasts for forty-five seconds. Still, it feels like much, much longer.
My father stands beside me, his chest puffed out with pride. He doesn’t speak and I find myself grateful for the moment to center my thoughts.
This is it. It feels like I’ve been waiting for this moment for my entire life.
My stomach is a jumble of emotions. Elation. Anticipation. Terror. They all make themselves known and for a moment, it feels like I can’t breathe. The heady scent of the gardenias I picked out threatens to turn sour in my mouth.
I take a deep breath, forcing my thoughts to what this step means. It’s too late to go back and even if I could, I wouldn’t. I know what I want in life and Harper is part of that. This is a gathering of power. People of influence and prestige have come from all around the world to see us become a family.
It is everything I have ever thought I wanted, but somehow I almost wish we had gone with something smaller. More intimate.
“Are you okay, baby?” My dad notes my distress and puts a hand on my bare shoulder. He smiles as me when I nod. “Of course you are. You’ve always been a little soldier.”
I swallow against the lump in my throat and nod again. He’s not saying anything I haven’t just told myself but somehow it means more when spoken aloud. I manage to make my throat work long enough to respond. “Thank you.”
He clears his throat as if he has something to say and I turn to face him. Suddenly, he seems so much older than I ever remember seeing him. But his eyes are bright. “I’m really proud of you, Fallon.”
The unexpected declaration shocks me. My parents have not always approved of my decisions. I understand why. It has not always been easy to stand behind me. But this is more than he has ever said about the issues we’ve faced. “You are?”
He clears his throat again. “Of course I am. You are your own person. You have been for years. I may not have understood all of the decisions you’ve made but the woman you are today…” Tears fill his eyes. “She’s beautiful.”
I laugh a little, happiness swelling in my chest. My face stings but I quickly shift my bouquet of gardenias to one hand and fan my face with the other. “Oh, Daddy. Thank you. That means a lot.”
The music changes before he can say anything else and the doors open wide. I step into a garden of white and red flowers. The lilies I picked out smile at me and seem to open as I step onto the red carpet. Faces and bodies turn to meet me but I don’t see anyone.
Harper stands at the end of that carpet. His eyes widen when he sees me and I tilt my head back so he can see me as glide down the aisle. The dress hugs all of my curves and flares at the bottom. I wanted something that would create a sensual shape. I wanted to drive him crazy.
The mixture of lust and appreciation in his eyes tells me that I have hit the nail on the head.
I walk through a curtain of hanging gardenias. The air around me looks as if it is decorated with fine glitter but it is the reflection of hundreds of diamonds, strategically placed throughout the room. They give the world around us an unearthly shine designed to make everyone in the room feel as if they’re in another universe. One where Harper and I are at its center.
I watch the eyes of everyone around me widen as I come into view. The boning of my dress is held together by delicate strands of silk, and red beryl stones are held against the fabric, wrapped in the fine cloth. I shift and light dances around me in deep ruby hues. The colors catch in my engagement ring and I look like a sensual fairy. A goddess amongst the humans who worship her.
And no one worships the way Harper does.
When I get to the edge of the carpet my father hands me off to my husband-to-be. Harper takes my hand with a gentle touch and I feel cherished…precious.
“You look amazing,” he whispers and his voice is deep and hoarse. I smile at him, glad that I have no veil to block my sight of him.
He looks every bit as delicious as I do. His suit was also custom made and there is only one like it in the entire world. He and I are the king and queen of hearts.
The priest clears his throat and we turn our attention back to him. When his fatherly gaze falls to me, I can’t help but bow my head in reverence. This is another of the most important reasons I couldn’t have eloped.
My faith.
A marriage is more than a contract between two people. It is a work of God. Everything that I am, everything that holds me together is because of Him and I am immensely grateful. Blessed.
“Dearly beloved…” The priest begins our union with a prayer and I bow my head, hearing his voice like a touch to my soul. He speaks of gathering, of growth, and of the other things we owe to the Lord. I murmur “Amen” with the rest of my wedding party and when I lift my head, I’m shocked to find that tears are racing down my face.
The priest smiles. “Being touched by the Holy Spirit is a profound thing, my child. There is no shame in your tears.”
I’m so filled with joy I laugh a little. He grins along with me and Harper tilts my chin toward him. The entire room seems to freeze as he gently wipes away my tears, careful not to smudge my make-up. “You are a dream, my opal.”
“This is a dream,” I respond breathlessly.
The priest continues but I can barely make out the words he’s saying as he blesses our union. My eyes are glued on Harper’s the same way his are glued to mine.
“…the rings, please.”
Harper reaches behind him and accepts the rings from his best man without breaking contact with me. He hands me his, a band of black titanium that gleams with midnight intensity. The same dark promises I see in Harper’s gaze are reflected in that band and I fight to hold back a shiver. When I slide the ring onto his finger, my hands are shaking and I can’t force myself to care. This is the most profound moment of my life and I absorb every detail as if there will be a test when I make it to the Pearly Gates.
“Harper. You are the other half of me. When I am struggling, I want you there to hold me up. When I feel as if it’s me against the world, I want you in my corner. You are the strongest, kindest, most considerate man I have ever met and I promise to love and honor you for the rest of my life.”
Harper sniffles and I think I see unshed tears gleaming in his eyes. The show of emotion doesn’t make me think less of him. Absolutely the opposite. The fact that he shows me so much of his vulnerability when the people around us see only the calm outer shell of him…it humbles me.
He takes m
y hand. “Fallon. What can I say about you that hasn’t already been said? You are a mystery to so many. They see little but your past and the rumors that surround you. They don’t get to see beyond your lovely exterior to the heart behind the walls you keep. You are so strong. You take every obstacle in your way and you pound it into dust. You take people who want to use and abuse you and you turn them into weeping children. Everything you say and do is founded in an unshakeable logic that attests to the deep expanses of your mind. You are an unanswerable question that I want to spend the rest of my life studying. I swear that I will always be there for you, always provide for you and respect you. I love you.”
By the time he’s finished I am openly weeping. I can’t help it. All of my hopes and dreams are wrapped up in this man. I have my own plans. My own strengths and ambitions. But in this instant, I realize that no matter what I have to do, he will be there. He will be a part of my actions and attempts. If I fail, it will be with him. My successes will be shared with him.
In this moment, we stop being Fallon and Harper.
We are one.
The ring slides down my finger and I cry even harder. The crowd I have almost forgotten makes the softest “Awww” sound. The priest keeps talking and I murmur a heartfelt “I do” when prompted. Harper says his moments after with the biggest grin I have ever seen on his face.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Before the priest is even finished, Harper sweeps me into his arms. His mouth brushes against mine in the most respectful way. He is gentle but insistent, and my tears dry in one fell swoop. Pressed against him, even for those few seconds, I feel my whole world coming together. There is nothing we won’t be able to do together. Nothing that we won’t be able to conquer.
“It is with great pleasure that I present the newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. Vasso.”
Harper releases me and the crowd shouts with joy. As one, they whoop and holler and I am dragged back down the red carpet. Harper wraps one arm around me as my bridal party makes its way out of the room. People reach out to touch me as we move. The amount of love and well-wishing in the room makes me cry again. I couldn’t be happier. Nothing could make me happier.
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