“I…he…I don’t know.”
“Code blue, ICU, Code blue,” came blaring out from a speaker overhead. More nurses came running, pushing a cart between them.
Above all the yelling, the only thing I heard was the steady, solid beep of the monitor.
Chapter 43
“We commend to your loving care our beloved son, brother and friend, Owen,” the minister said.
He kept talking, but I tuned him out. Instead, I glanced around at the crowd. There were hundreds of police officers here, and nearly everyone in Brookdale. Trixie and her mother sat in the chairs in front of me. Jake sat next to Trixie, holding her hand. He had been a rock for her the last few days, helping her make the arrangements, making sure that she and her mother had whatever they needed. I had called a couple of times to see what I could do, but she had refused to talk to me.
The sound of rifle fire made me focus on the service again, and I grabbed T.J.’s hand as the second round went off. After the third round, the sound of bagpipes filled the air, and I choked back a sob as the sounds of ‘Amazing Grace’ filled the air.
The honor guard moved into place on either side of the flag draped coffin, picked up the edges of the American flag, carefully folded it, and reverently handed it to the Marine, who was representing the government in honor of Owen’s service. He turned, knelt in front of Mrs. Greene, saying, “Please accept this flag on behalf of a grateful nation for your loved one’s service to our country.” He stood up, saluted, turned to his left, and walked away.
Jeff stood a few yards away, put his trumpet to his lips, and played ‘Taps’. I could see a tear streaming down his right cheek.
People walked by, leaving white roses on top of Owen’s coffin before saying something to his family. Gladys bent over, said something to Mrs. Greene, and then walked to another section of the cemetery to Harold’s grave. T.J. and I waited until the crowd thinned out before making our way over to the grave, where we both placed our roses on top. “How are you doing?” I asked Mrs. Greene, as I gave her a hug.
“What do you care?” Trixie snapped.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re the reason we’re burying my brother in the ground,” she said angrily. “You just had to set yourself up as bait, which made Hopkins and Owen have to save your butt…again. It’s like an addiction; you just can’t help yourself.”
“Take it easy, Trixie,” Jake said, putting his hand on her arm.
“We all know it’s true,” Trixie said, shaking his hand off. “He loved you, you know. Ever since we were in middle school. But he never said anything to you, because he thought he wasn’t good enough for you.”
“He never told me. I had no clue. I’ve always thought of him as the big brother that I never had.”
“Then I’m glad he never told you. It would have broken his heart.”
“We should go,” Jake said.
“She should be the one to go,” Trixie said. “Leave town, Lizzie. You’re rich now; you can go anywhere. Go away and don’t come back.”
I stood there, with my mouth hanging open, as she stormed away. Jake turned to us. “Don’t listen to her. She’s been upset for a week. She’s just venting. I’ll come by this evening.” He hurried off after the Greenes.
“Did you know she felt this way?” I asked T.J. as we walked toward his car.
“I had an inkling, but I didn’t realize her anger was that intense.”
“Well,” I said, getting into his truck, “she needs to vent her grief at someone. It’s better than keeping it bottled up inside.”
“Why don’t I pick up something to grill tonight?” T.J. said as we left the cemetery. “I’ll get something extra for Jake.”
“Sure, sounds fine.”
We didn’t say anything else until we got to my house. “Are you going to be all right?” he said before I got out.
“I’m fine,” I told him. “When will you be back?”
“About an hour. I need to stop by the station and check in.”
“How are things going, Acting Sheriff Roosevelt?”
“So far, so good.”
“There are some rumblings at the café that they’re going to name you permanent sheriff.”
“I’ve heard that.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I’ve also had an offer from the FBI to come back. They need a replacement for Dillard, and they aren’t sure when Hopkins is going to be back at work.”
“I see,” I said. “And how do you feel about that?”
“Conflicted,” he replied. “I’m not sure what I want to do. I’d enjoy either job.”
“Do I hear a but in there?”
“Not really. I just have to figure out what’s going to work before for me…for us.”
“I’m sure this isn’t an easy decision to make, given everything that’s happened.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I’ll try not to make it difficult for you,” I said. “You do what you want to do, and we’ll make it work.”
“Even if that means going back to the FBI?”
“Even if it means that.”
“That’s good to know,” T.J. said, squeezing my hand.
I got out and watched him leave before going inside. Mittens started barking as soon as she heard the key in the door. Babe was lying in the middle of the floor, and didn’t even look up at me as I came in. I opened the back door for them. Mittens barreled outside, barking her head off, while Babe sauntered toward her spot under the tree. What a rough life, I thought as I closed the door.
I worked on an article, played with Mittens for a while, made a cheesecake and cleaned the grill. By the time I closed the lid, T.J. and Jake had arrived. Mittens ran circles around their feet when they joined us outside. “Has Trixie calmed down any?” I asked Jake as T.J. fired up the grill.
“Sort of,” he said. “Her mother gave her a stern talking to when we got back to the house. I think Trixie feels bad about her outburst at the cemetery, but not for what she said.”
“She won’t apologize, trust me,” I told him, “especially if she believes in something very strongly. I think it’s safe to say she truly believes Owen’s death is my fault.”
“Her mother is thinking about going to visit some friends in Florida for a month or so,” Jake said. “I suggested to Trixie that she get out of town as well.”
“I’m sure she said no to that. There’s no one to run the club.”
“Well, actually, there is,” Jake said. “She’s going to put Samantha Black in charge while she’s gone.”
“Good choice,” I agreed. “Sam knows everything there is to know about the club, and she knows how to keep the customers in line.”
“Where is Trixie going to go?” T.J. said.
“We haven’t decided yet.”
“We?” I said. “What do you mean ‘we’?”
“I don’t think she should go by herself. She’s hasn’t started to grieve for Owen yet, and when she does, it’s going to hit her hard. She’ll need someone to lean on.”
“This better not be some ploy by you to take advantage of an emotionally fragile woman,” I warned him. “Because if it is…”
Jake held up his hands. “Slow down, Lizzie. I’m doing what I think you would do if she didn’t hate your guts right now.” I winced. “Sorry, harsh but true. You’d drop everything and go with her in a heartbeat.”
“Yes, I would.”
“Well, that’s what I’m doing. You need to stay here and take care of the newspaper. Ellen has my ideas on what to improve, especially on the website.”
“Maybe you should take her to the mountains,” T.J. suggested. “It will be nice and quiet there.”
“I was thinking maybe Los Angeles, Las Vegas, or New York. Maybe London. Is her passport up to date?”
“You’ll have to check with her about that.”
Mittens came over and dropped her tennis ball at Jake’s fee
t. “Aw, do you want to play, girl?” he said, scratching her ears. He picked up the ball and threw it.
I left the two of them alone, and went inside to help T.J. fix dinner. An hour later, we were sitting at the table, eating steak, corn on the cob and salad. “What are they saying about Edward and Ethan back in Tazewell?” I said.
He swallowed before answering. “Pretty evenly divided. Publicly, a lot of businesses are cutting ties with the Winthrops, at least until this whole thing blows over. Privately, they hope the judge locks both of them up for a long time.”
“That’s not going to happen,” T.J. said
“What have you heard?”
“Not much. Edward has been charged with Kassandra’s death, and despite his lawyer’s best efforts, he’s still in jail. Barbara and Sage are facing kidnapping, weapons charges, conspiracy to commit murder, and other charges. They, too, are still in jail.”
“Is the government is still planning to go after Edward on the federal charges?” I asked.
“I don’t know. All I know is that their case against him has been put on hold right now.”
“What about Brice Dillard?” Jake said.
“I’m not sure what all the charges are for him. Definitely obstruction of justice. And of course, he’s been fired from the FBI.”
“That’s a given,” I replied.
“They’re planning a major overhaul of the Dallas office.”
“Have they offered you your old job back?” Jake said.
T.J. nodded. “I don’t know if I’m going to take them up on their offer. A couple of the city council members called me this afternoon, asking me to consider taking the sheriff’s job permanently.”
“So the rumors were right,” I said. He nodded.
“What are you going to do if he goes back to the FBI?” Jake asked me.
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” We ate in silence for a few minutes. “Wait a minute. What about Cynthia Davis? Do you know what happened to her?”
T.J. nodded. “She really was out of town. She had no idea what Barbara was up to, and hasn’t seen Ethan in years.”
“Thank God she’s okay,” I replied. “What’s going to happen to Kassandra and Ethan’s daughter, Regina?”
“Her parents are going to take her in. Believe it or not, Ethan actually talked about raising her himself, but someone talked to him and changed his mind,” T.J. said.
“How are the repairs to the building coming along, Jake?”
“Well, that fire Barbara started did some damage to the back room of the newspaper, not to mention having to ventilate all the smoke out of there. I’ve rented one of the empty buildings on the square, and put in everything we need to operate. Actually, I like the new place. It’s bigger than the other one.”
“You aren’t thinking what I think you’re thinking, are you?”
“As matter of fact, yes, I am.” I groaned. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought something similar over the last few weeks.”
“We can’t just pick up and move, Jake!”
“Technically, we already have,” he pointed out. “We can’t really use the old place until some renovations are done. And moving to a new place might be just the thing you need. You and I both know that there’s no way you’ll ever feel comfortable in your old office, no matter how much paint we slap on the walls, or the new furniture we put in there.”
I leaned back and sighed. “You’ve already done something, haven’t you? You’re just trying to figure out a way to tell me.”
“You know me so well.”
“God, Jake, I can’t deal with this right now.”
“I’m not asking you to deal with it. I’ll handle everything.”
“I’m not letting you touch my office.”
He held his hands up. “You just tell me what you want, and I’ll make sure it gets done.”
“Have you talked to Ellen about this?”
“She thinks it’s a great idea.”
“Of course she does. I don’t suppose we could talk about this when you get back, could we?”
“Well…”
“Never mind. Stupid question.”
We cleaned up the dishes, and I took the cheesecake and the can of cherry filling I had placed in there out of the fridge. “How are you doing?” Jake said as I spread the cherries on top.
“I’m fine.”
“And I’m the president. Try again.”
I took a deep breath. “Some days are better than others. Same as always.”
“Lizzie, I really need to think you need to go to that support group.”
“I don’t want to go to a group where I might run into someone I know, Jake. That’s all I need. Gladys would find out about it in a heartbeat, and spread it all over town.”
“You need to stop worrying about what other people are going to think, and start worrying about yourself. It’s obvious this is eating you up inside. You’re not eating, you’ve admitted that you don’t sleep with a damn, and you jump at the slightest sound. It’s not a healthy way to live, mentally or physically.”
“I don’t need a lecture.”
“You’re right, you don’t. But you need to get some help, Lizzie.”
“And just what do you suggest, Dr. Mathis?”
“A vacation.”
“I can’t do that right now.”
“Yes, you can. I’ve talked to Ellen, and we both agree that you need to do this. I’m going to name her managing editor until you come back.”
“Damn it, Jake! Stop trying to run my life! We aren’t married; we’re never going to be married. You don’t own me. When are you going to realize that?”
“He’s not the only one who thinks this is a good idea, Lizzie,” T.J. said. “Your mother is the one who came to us, asking for help. Now if that doesn’t tell you something, I don’t know what else will.”
“What’s going to happen to Ethan?” I asked T.J.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if the FBI aren’t able to prosecute Edward right now, where does that leave Ethan? Does his deal with them still stand?”
T.J. rubbed the back of his neck. “At this point, yes, I’m afraid so. Everything has been approved and is in writing. They can’t just cancel the it because Edward is facing different charges.”
“So you mean to tell me he’s still going to get away with his assaults on me, and all those other women?” I said angrily. “Tell me how that is fair.”
“It isn’t,” T.J. said.
“So he gets to do what he wants to, with impunity, while dozens of women like myself have to suffer in silence?”
“I’m sorry, Lizzie. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s the one we have right now.”
“Why don’t you tell that to all of his victims? To Trixie and her mother? I can’t deal with this.”
“This is why you need to find a support group and talk about it, Lizzie, so you can learn to deal with it,” Jake replied.
“Why are you trying so hard to convince me, Jake? What have you done?”
“He didn’t do it,” T.J. replied, “I did. I have an old friend who used to be an FBI consultant. She specializes in people who have been victims of assault.” I didn’t say anything. “You won’t have to check into a hospital or anything. She’s got some vacation time coming, and she’s willing to come here, if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t know…” I said.
“Please, Lizzie, you need to do this,” T.J. said. “I can’t stand to see you withdrawing from everyone and everything. What’s it going to hurt to at least talk to her once? All you have to do is just listen to what she has to say. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, you can leave.”
“And you two won’t interfere?”
“I promise I won’t,” he assured me.
We looked over at Jake. “What?” he said.
“You’ll stay away. No trying to take care of things. That’s not your job anymore.”
“No, it�
��s mine,” T.J. said.
“Right now, it’s mine,” I told them.
“So you’ll do it?” he said.
“I guess so,” I said reluctantly.
Jake checked the time and stood up. “I’ve got to go. Check with Ellen, and set up a meeting with Bruce to go over those website ideas.”
“I’ll see when he’s is available, and we’ll go from there.”
“Sounds good. Call me if you need anything.”
“I won’t,” I told him, “but thanks for the offer.” I walked him to the front door. “Take care of Trixie for me, please. I don’t like it when she’s mad at me.”
He gave me a hug. “I’ll take good care of her, don’t worry. I’ll keep in touch, let you know how things are going.”
We watched him leave. “You aren’t just giving me lip service about meeting with my friend, are you?” T.J. asked as I closed the door.
“I said I’d meet with her.”
“I know what you said, but…”
“Stop it, T.J. I’m dealing with this the best way I know how to right now. My best friend isn’t speaking to me, I feel responsible for what happened to Owen, and I have more things on my plate right now than I can handle. Don’t push me. Just step back and let me breathe.”
“You don’t have to handle any of this by yourself. I’m right here.”
“Maybe that’s the problem.” I looked at him. “Maybe I’m not dealing with the attacks because in the back of my mind, I know that I can turn to you, and you’ll do your best to make things all better. But that’s not going to help me if I can’t face what happened. I don’t know. I’m so confused, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going sometimes. Right now, I can only deal with what’s in front of me.”
“I understand,” he said. “But I’m not trying to take away all your problems. I’m just trying to be there for you. I’m not going to walk away, but I’m going to stand beside you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or you just want to talk, I’ll be there. You just have to ask. Talking to a counselor isn’t going to be an instant fix. There’s no waving of a magic wand to make the hurt and pain go away. The ones that survive are those that have a good support system, and that’s what I plan to do for you. All you have to do is reach out, and I’ll be there.”
Death Vetoes The Chairman (Lizzie Crenshaw Mysteries Book 7) Page 34