“Unlock your front door.”
“Unlock my…are you here?”
“Yes. I hope that’s okay.”
Sandrine jumped out of bed and headed for the door. “Well, that depends.”
“On what?”
She opened the front door and lowered the phone from her ear. “Whether you can stay for a while or not.” Laney, wearing a pair of beige shorts and a yellow T-shirt, looked incredible.
“A while,” Laney said as she hung up her phone and stepped in. When she glanced down at Sandrine’s boxer shorts and flimsy BHPD T-shirt, her eyelids fluttered slightly, which Sandrine hoped was a good thing.
Closing the door, she took Laney by the hand and led her to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Perfect.”
When two hot mugs of java rested in front of them at her kitchen table, Sandrine suddenly laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I just realized that I should be a lot more bashful about my appearance, but I feel very comfortable.”
“Don’t change on my account. I’m the one intruding on your morning. And besides, you look fantastic.”
“Not too butch in these boxers?”
“You couldn’t look butch if you tried.” Laney added quickly, “Well, not unless you wanted to look butch.”
“I don’t know how I look, but as long as you’re okay with it, I don’t care what it’s called.”
Laney kissed her. “Don’t change a thing. As a matter of fact, next time we go out to dinner, I’d like you to wear this outfit.”
They both laughed and Sandrine pulled her into a longer kiss, which tasted of newly roasted coffee. Laney moaned when Sandrine drew away.
“Bring your mug,” she said, and led Laney to her bedroom. She placed her mug on the nightstand and nodded for Laney to do the same. “Take your shoes off,” Sandrine instructed, crawling into bed.
Laney didn’t say anything. When she took off her shoes and straightened her T-shirt and shorts, she seemed almost self-conscious. She joined her in bed and Sandrine put her arm around her. They lay face up, not speaking for a few minutes. The sun warmed the comforter, and the sounds of blue jays mingled with the clipped squawks of a few fox squirrels scurrying in the trees right outside the window.
“Thank you for listening to me last night.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me. I want to know about your life.”
“All the bad parts with the good?”
“Yes.”
“Well, here’s a good part. It feels good to have my arm around you.”
“It sure does.” Laney snuggled closer to Sandrine’s shoulder. “You get a lot of sunlight in your room.”
“I’m very lucky to have gotten this house.”
“How long have you had it?”
“I bought it right after making detective. My father helped me, but I’ve already been able to pay him back.”
Their conversation fell into a comfortable silence and Sandrine was truly happy.
“I’m really glad you asked me out, Sandrine.”
“I am, too. I had been thinking about you for a long time. Not that I ever wished for you to break up with Judith, but I always hoped that one day I’d have the chance to approach you. I hope it wasn’t too soon, but I really wanted to know if you would go out with me.”
“It’s wiser to find out than suppose,” Laney said.
“Hey! That’s another Mark Twain quote.”
“Well, based on our dinner conversation, I figured you could relate to another one.”
“It’s adorable that you love Twain, too.”
“So will it alarm you that, humanitarian ideals aside, my real connection came from reading Tom Sawyer and realizing that the book reinforced my identity as a pretty serious tomboy?”
Sandrine chuckled, turning her head toward Laney. “As long as you’re okay with the fact that I had a huge crush on Becky Thatcher.”
With Laney’s head now turned toward her and their noses less than three inches apart, Sandrine was suddenly electrified. “And, by the way, it was wiser to find out about you than to suppose.”
“What have you discovered so far?”
“That you’re agreeable to having dinner with me. That you like me a little, I think.”
“True on both counts.”
“Also, that if I were to kiss you, you would probably reciprocate.”
“True again.”
Sandrine moved onto her side. Laney followed suit and now they lay face-to-face on the bed. Laney wrapped her arm around Sandrine, and they kissed and nuzzled each other’s necks, learning every detail of the other’s face, mouth, and neck. They moved at a slow, lingering pace, and only after a long while, when their breathing gradually began to increase, was there any indication that things were progressing.
Laney’s hand moved down to stroke Sandrine’s thigh, massaging and kneading her quadriceps in gradually widening circles.
Sandrine marveled at this new experience. In the years she had known Laney, she had at times allowed herself to fantasize about what her body would feel like. How would she move? How would her body feel when she was aroused? A thrill of pleasure and anticipation raced up her spine. The benevolent Goddess of Fate was delivering the answers to these questions.
Sandrine moved her hand down Laney’s shoulder and over her chest. Tenderly, she caressed her breast through the yellow T-shirt and Laney murmured something she couldn’t understand. She drew unhurried circles around Laney, but the touch sped up her own heartbeat. She was completely mesmerized so she didn’t notice that Laney’s hand had also begun to roam from her thigh and downward until she felt her massaging her backside. Laney’s hand felt cool through the thin fabric of her boxers as she gently squeezed her cheek. Sandrine pushed her hips into Laney, who responded with a moan. Sandrine savored the soothing onset of pleasure and her sense of elation.
“This is amazing,” Laney said as she nuzzled Sandrine’s neck.
“We fit well together.”
“And more than that. The feelings inside…” She paused, seeming to collect her thoughts. “I feel so much more emotion with you than I have in a long time. I really, really like you. I feel it in my chest. Does that sound silly to say so soon?”
“Not if you feel it.”
“I do.”
“I know what you mean. Being with you makes me forget everything else. And everyone else.”
They continued kissing, and when Laney slipped a single finger under the boxers, Sandrine’s breath caught in her chest. Laney held still for a long while, then eased past Sandrine’s small patch of hair. Sandrine held her breath until she felt the slick, wet slide of Laney’s finger over her clit. Then her body involuntarily constricted.
They stayed in this magnificent moment a long time, Laney lightly stroking her while Sandrine massaged her breast. Sandrine felt drunk, overcome by the infatuation she had harbored for so long for the woman who was now touching the most private part of her body.
She wanted more but interrupted their kissing to say, “You feel incredible, Laney. But I do want to take this slowly.”
“I do, too. But I’m not sure I can stop.”
Sandrine could focus only on the blue eyes that burned with ardor. She shook her head, realizing that her last sentence wasn’t the truth. “I don’t want you to stop.”
“But I will if you want,” Laney whispered, her expression smoldering.
Sandrine believed Laney, which made her want more. And as her need began to slam a rhythm in her chest, she said, “Just a little bit more.”
Laney looked hard into Sandrine’s eyes, as if asking whether she really meant it, as if making sure she had permission.
Now Sandrine couldn’t stop if she wanted to. “Maybe more than just a little.” She closed her eyes, feeling their shared heat. Their skin seemed to meld together, exchanging sexual energy and passion all the way down to the cellular level. She wanted it all. She wanted Laney and nothing else. And as
she gripped Laney tighter, Sandrine felt two of Laney’s fingers slide inside her. Like a shot of whiskey rushing straight to her brain, the rush of Laney’s penetration cascaded thorough her body.
She left Laney’s breast and threw her arm around her back, clutching her tight. Laney kept her fingers just inside, never plunging or speeding up, but moving carefully, with excruciating deliberateness.
“Oh, God,” she moaned.
Laney buried her head in Sandrine’s neck. “This is amazing, feeling you like this.”
“Just stay right there.”
“I will.”
It was such a subtle movement, Laney’s fingers barely inside her, but Sandrine’s muscles began to tighten. Part of her wanted to stop, to slow down so they could build a relationship without jumping into the physical aspect that sometimes bogged down true communication and understanding. She didn’t want this to be like some of her other liaisons, where the pleasures of the flesh dominated and sometimes ruined things.
But lying here with Laney was already better than the most intimate of her experiences. She let go, shutting out her thoughts, and concentrated on the intimate connection they were making right then. That was the best way to let Laney know how deeply she felt about her.
As she gave herself to Laney, her entire body grew hot. Her thighs shook and her clit swelled as a fiery surge rose from deep inside and created multiple contractions. She cried out, grasping Laney’s shirt, her hips thrusting up to meet Laney’s gentle fingers. Her body pulsed against Laney. Sandrine was taking her to the deepest place inside her, and it felt right to go there with Laney.
Afterward, they lay motionless. Sandrine finally slowed her breathing and, after one substantial and satisfying sigh, opened her eyes. “Wow.”
Laney slipped an arm underneath Sandrine and pulled her close. “I adore you,” she said, and they cuddled together, peaceful and relaxed, until they both drifted off to sleep.
Some time later, as they both began to awaken, Sandrine smiled when a light kiss touched her lips.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Sandrine kissed her.
“I want to know more about who Sandrine Girard is.”
Sandrine inhaled a breath full of fresh morning air, satisfied and peaceful. “What do you want to know?”
Laney smiled as if she were about to be granted a wish from a genie. “What’s your favorite food?”
“A grilled-cheese-and-bacon sandwich.”
“Okay, what’s the first thing you’d do with a million dollars?”
“Pay off this house.”
“Smart. I like that in a woman. Another question. If you couldn’t be a crime fighter, what would you do for a living?”
“Hmm. I would be a stripper.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I like the feel of antique wood and the smell of orange oil polish.”
Laney pinched Sandrine’s shoulder. “A furniture stripper, funny.”
They laughed together and when they fell into a comfortable silence, Sandrine took Laney’s hand and languidly played with her fingers.
“That feels good,” Laney said. “Let’s see. I know, what’s your biggest regret?”
Sandrine closed her eyes. She could come up with a number of responses, all true, but none that could come close to her biggest repentance. As much as she wanted to dodge the real answer, she had to start to change. Her life had been miserable for so many years. Maybe this was her chance for absolution. She turned to Laney, beautiful Laney. “Hesitation.”
Sandrine knew the answer was ambiguous and that she needed to elaborate. She had opened a door that she didn’t want to close. And it seemed Laney sensed her unease, because she took her hand and tenderly kissed her knuckles.
“Three years ago, I was with another detective at the house of two suspects.” Sandrine was uncertain whether she could even recount the events that she had refused to talk about after the investigation ended. “We had a search warrant and rang the doorbell. We heard some scuffling on the other side of the door, and in a flash, shots were fired and the bullets came through the door. Tom and I jumped away, each in a different direction, and somehow avoided getting hit.
“We both fired a few rounds at the house to hold them off. In the midst of it, he yelled, ‘Come on, we have to get out of here,’ but I argued that we had to stand our ground and call for backup. I also yelled back that they would shoot us in the open space we had to run through to get back to the car. He said he would cover me while I ran, and I remember shaking my head. Then he said, ‘Come on, trust me.’ He thought I would take off running at that moment, but I hesitated.” Sandrine’s throat tightened and she began to cry. Laney took her hand, rubbing it gently, but she could barely feel the motion through her shame.
“He came up from his crouch and when I saw that, I began to run. But I was a second too late. They shot him before he could cover me.”
Laney’s eyes were open wide but, thankfully, she didn’t interrupt. Sandrine wasn’t sure she could continue her painful confession if she had to pause again.
“He went down and I began shooting into the house while I made my way over to him. He had been shot in the shoulder so I grabbed his other arm and dragged him to the side of the house and radioed for help. It wasn’t good cover. They could have shot from the side window at any moment, but that was the only place I could get him to fast. I called for backup and we sat there for maybe five minutes. Nothing came from the house but silence. When SWAT arrived they were able to pull the ARV, that’s their armored rescue vehicle, up to us and get us in. They eventually raided the house and apprehended the suspects. Tom was in the emergency room for four hours and I stayed right outside until he was moved to a room.”
Sandrine looked deeply into Laney’s eyes, wondering if she could understand the gravity of the potentially deadly mistake she had made. But all she saw was loving concern.
“I had to see him. To apologize to him.”
“You saved his life, Sandrine,” she said softly.
“I almost got him killed.”
“Even if you had run a second sooner, they still could have shot him.”
The police department’s Internal Affairs investigation reached the same conclusion. She had been cleared of any wrongdoing, and Tom had failed to see any foul-up on her part and had even thanked her for saving him, but she knew in her heart that her moment of distrust had spilled blood.
“My biggest regret was hesitating. But trust. That’s the real problem. And that’s my fear. As soon as he said ‘Trust me,’ I froze.” She wanted to tell Laney more about her mother and her nightmares but she was suddenly exhausted. As her tears spilled freely, she also couldn’t tell Laney that the incident had destroyed her professional self-confidence for the next year.
Laney wrapped her arms tight around Sandrine. A lawn mower began to sound in the distance, and a basketball bounced a couple of houses away.
Laney kissed her forehead. “I want to get to know you so much more.”
Sandrine struggled to suppress the feeling that she didn’t deserve happiness for her awful deeds. But if her father could love her unconditionally, others might do so, too. She had to believe in that possibility with all her heart. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Yes. I’d like that.” She smiled, feeling a little less lost. “As a matter of fact, I really want to get to know you better as well so I won’t think of you as a longtime fantasy, but a wonderful reality.”
Laney sat up and reached into her pocket. Sandrine rolled onto her side, watching her. After pulling something out she lay back down on her side, facing Sandrine.
“See this?” Laney showed her the keychain that held her keys. On it was an old quarter with a hole drilled through it. “This was the first payment I ever received at the bank. When I was about eight, I went to the bank every day and cleaned up the teller areas, stacked withdrawal and deposit slips, replaced dried-out pens, things like that. My father paid me twenty-five cents an hour. It m
eant a lot to me to work for my father. I always dreamed of having a career there when I grew up.” She looked down at the coin. “Anyway, my father helped me drill the hole and I wore this quarter on a chain around my neck for years. I feel proud every time I look at it because from that first day, I wanted to help make the bank the best in the world. I dreamt of running the bank one day.”
“That’s wonderful,” Sandrine said, watching Laney finger the coin lovingly.
Laney took it off the ring and handed it to her. “My dream came true. I am working in my family’s business, and I’m very proud of that accomplishment. Now I’d like to give this to you.”
Sandrine shook her head. “No, I couldn’t accept it.”
“Please do. It’s for you to keep. That way, I’ll become more than just a dream to you.”
Sandrine closed her hand over the quarter, touched deeply. “I’ll always protect this.”
“I know you will.” Laney kissed her sweetly.
*
Laney had been missing so much work, coming in late or being exhausted while she was there, that she went straight from Sandrine’s house to the bank to catch up. Since it was already late Saturday afternoon, the place was empty, so she could focus on her paperwork and do the weekly reports. More than that, she wanted some quiet time to reflect on her morning with Sandrine.
She hadn’t expected all that happened. She had decided to stop by because she had been thinking about Sandrine so much. She wanted to say hello and talk for a while—just be around her. She wanted to be close to her and kiss her but was also willing to go wherever Sandrine wanted to take her. And where they went was lovely. The morning had turned out better than she could have imagined. Feeling Sandrine’s body and the way it responded to her had been mind-blowing. But when Sandrine had shared, with such candor, the incident with her police partner, Laney had been so moved that she wanted to protect Sandrine from all the world’s evils.
To have both a powerful physical desire and an intense emotional affection for her was sublime. And to have the desire and affection returned was astounding. Everyone else fell away in her mind, especially Theresa, who gave Laney only mechanical sex.
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