Magic and Mayhem: A Collection of 21 Fantasy Novels

by Jasmine Walt

  I turned to the stairs when JoAnn moaned. Jeni put her arm around her, trying to comfort her, while Mom - on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum - looked way too excited.

  "Shit!" I grabbed the doorknob and slowly opened the door.

  Resi was lying across Zaire, her lips dripping blood. Zaire, her mouth as bloody as Resi's, was fighting her tooth and nail to get away.

  "What the hell did you do?" I jumped for the bed.

  "We wanted to share this moment alone. Bad idea?" Resi gritted her teeth.

  She had handcuffs wrapped around a large cherry wood column in the center of the headboard, one cuff attached to Zaire's wrist. She was trying frantically to capture Zaire's free arm for the other side of the cuff.

  I pulled at Zaire's hand, which held a fist full of Resi's hair in an immortal grip.

  Zaire hissed and yanked hard. Resi turned and glared at me. With a rumble in her chest, Zaire dug her fingers in deeper, lifted Resi's head, and spit at her.

  Resi cocked one eyebrow and threw her a look that I wanted to turn away from.

  "What the hell were you thinking?" I jerked Zaire's hand out of Resi's tangled hair, only to have her grab mine. I let out a screech as she yanked me around in front of her face.

  "Just hold her for Christ sake. We can argue later, damn it!" Resi spat.

  7

  I puffed a stray hair out of my eyes and checked the handcuffs. They were secure. "Watch her, I'm going to go get blood and tell the others Zaire's a vampire."

  I opened the bedroom door and looked right into my mother's anxious face.

  "Did you just say Zaire's undead?" she asked, leaning around me.

  I grabbed her arm and pulled her little butt right back up the stairs, shoving her at Jeni. "Resi did Zaire and she's a bit wild. But we have her attached to the bed with some handcuffs. Now I need blood. Can one of you get me a few bags?"

  JoAnn did an about face and headed for the refrigerator.

  Zaire's obscenities hit the hall like a tidal wave. "Bitch, get these mother-fuckin' cuffs off me or I'll kill you a second time! I want some goddamn blood. Now!"

  "Be right there, Zaire!" my mother hollered, yanking her arm free from Jeni’s grasp and hobbling toward the stairs. I grabbed the back of her spandex as she sped by. I didn't expect her to rubber-band her way back to me. We both rolled down the stairs, hitting the bottom with a thump.

  Jeni stared down at us with an amused look.

  JoAnn rounded the corner with two bags of blood and I pulled them out of her hand. "Keep her out here," I ordered as I stepped over my mother.

  "Damn it, I'm willing and able!" Mom grabbed my leg and I bounced down the stairs. "You don't need the blood-bags, I tell ya!"

  I gave her a set of nasty eyebrows, picked up the bags of blood and pushed myself off the wall.

  The minute I entered the bedroom, Zaire's head jerked toward the bags in my hands. She let out a blood-curdling war-whoop and yanked hard on the cuffs, putting her feet and chest into it. Resi slid off her and onto the floor beside the bed.

  Zaire growled and immediately yanked at the cuffs again. I heard a splintering crunch as she tore the post from the bed, followed by shattered glass as it flew through the window on the other side of the room.

  Running footsteps pounded down the stairs.

  "Don't any of you come in here!" I dropped the bags of blood, slammed the door shut, locked it, then leapt at the bed.

  Unfortunately, Resi was flying in the same direction. Our heads banged together in a loud pop that had me seeing stars.

  Zaire grabbed my shirt with both hands and tossed me like rag doll. I flew across the room, slammed into the closet with a loud bang, taking the metal doors with me.

  "Open the goddamn door, Susan," the eighty-two-year-old-pain-in-my-ass yelled as she hammered the door, my head pounding with each bang.

  Zaire reacted to my mother's voice with a violent shriek, her head jerking toward the door.

  "Mom and I can handle this!" Resi screamed, trying to get control of Zaire.

  Zaire tossed Resi into the wall by the bed. Broken plaster sent intricate tributaries all the way to the ceiling as she slid to the floor. Resi’s fangs slipped from her gums and she hissed. With lightning speed, she flew toward the bed.

  The best catfight I'd ever seen ensued: hair pulling, nails scraping, hands slapping, teeth biting. It went on for several minutes before I scrambled out of the closet and jumped on the bed.

  "We need to get blood into her before she kills someone that isn't already dead." I looked at the two bags on the floor as I struggled to get on top of Zaire.

  "Well you should have thought about that when you were down there sitting right in front of them, for Christ sake!" Resi snapped at me from behind her hair. I glared back, pulling Zaire's teeth from my cheek.

  Banging fists jolted the bedroom door.

  "Nanna, back away from the door!" Jeni yelled.

  The banging stopped.

  Resi curled her lips at me, inhaling through her teeth. "She can't kill us Mom! Pick up the goddamned blood!"

  The very angry, very new immortal, began bucking her up, down, and sideways. Resi hung on to Zaire's tank top, riding her like a bronco, one arm grabbing for air, knees clamped at Zaire's hips.

  "Shit." I looked at my younger daughter with rage. "We need help!"

  Zaire bit my shoulder and I heard my clavicle crunch. My fangs slid from my gums and I sank them into her arm, shaking it like a dog with a play toy. She jerked her arm free, my teeth zinging from the assault.

  I reached for one of the bags with my foot and managed to pull it a bit closer, but it was slick and my toes couldn't get a grip.

  "I can't reach the blood, damn it," I grunted.

  Zaire tossed me sideways as she tried to get out from under both of us. Resi was still covering her hips.

  "JoAnn, I need your help in here!" I yelled at the closed door.

  "Oh, that's a good choice," Resi said sarcastically.

  I heard the scraping of metal, saw the knob turning and the door opened. Jeni had the key, tossing it in the air and catching it in her hand. JoAnn was the furthest from the door. Mom wiggled her fingers at me from behind Jeni.

  Zaire bucked and growled. Resi and I were splayed across her body, blood seeping on the white sheets from all of us.

  "I can't reach the bag of blood!" I glared at all three of them. They looked like the rest of the insensible furniture in the room.

  Jeni finally stepped forward and picked up a bag of blood. She tossed it toward me with a scowl. It hit Zaire in the head, sending her into another fit of rage. Resi went flying five feet in the air, landing against the dresser in a back-crunching slam. The mirror broke, sending glass shards over all of us.

  Jeni and JoAnn screeched. I slid to the floor.

  My mother let out a war-whooping scream, headed for the bed in a hobbled run and jumped over me onto Zaire's face. Zaire yanked at my mother's hair with a fierce roar. Mom's saggy arms fought Zaire like a little hellion. I got up and threw myself across Zaire's stomach.

  "Nanna! Get off of her!" Jeni grabbed my mother's foot, trying to pull her from the pile of writhing bodies. "Are you nuts? She'll kill you!"

  "Jennifer, you are not helping!" Mom kicked at Jeni's hand with her free foot. "Let me go, damn it! I know what I'm doing!"

  "Resi, get your undead ass over here and help Nanna," Jeni screamed, my mother now fighting both Jeni and Zaire for all she was worth.

  I looked at my sister plastered against the wall on the opposite side of the bedroom door. "You could help, JoAnn!" I hissed. She pushed back against the wall, shaking her head in a stupor.

  "Nanna, let go!" Jeni tugged on one of my mother's feet, the other pumping as if she were riding a bike.

  I grunted and scooted down Zaire's body, trying to keep her legs and stomach still while my mother struggled with her upper half. Resi jumped in a flying leap toward the pile of flailing limbs and landed on top of me, pushin
g the air out of my lungs.

  "Goddamn you, Resi," I grunted, sucking in some air as I wiggled out from under her, up Zaire's body and toward my mother. I was just about to help Jeni when Zaire stopped struggling.

  I let out a long breath of relief, thinking she'd finally passed out.

  Zaire made a muffled growl under my mother.

  "Ouch! Ooh, she bit me!" my mother said in an excited voice.

  Zaire sucked noisily.

  Jeni stood stock still, hands on hips, lips in a tight line between her nose and chin.

  "Oh, no! She's making Mom a Vampire! I can't watch this!" JoAnn slid down the wall and buried her face in her knees.

  Resi and I froze, glaring at each other, both looking like Buffy on a bad hair day.

  "What a cluster-flock," Jeni said, surveying the damage.

  "Sooomme-wheeere oo-ver the raaain-bow..." Nanna crooned, sounding like an old tired woman for the last time.

  "Okay, so I suppose Nanna has to drink from Zaire?" Jeni asked, her hands on her hips. "That should be interesting."

  "Son-of-a-bitch!" Zaire spat. "She friggin bit me! One of you get her goddamned fangs out of my arm!"

  "Or not," Jeni said.

  "She has fangs already?" I pouted.

  8

  Dorius lounged in the Micro Motel on Highway 441 in Leesburg. It was Sunday evening and the day was just about to wink out behind the parking lot. His eyes danced around the asphyxiating room, stopping on the woman sleeping at his side.

  He'd spent most of the day waiting for an update from Paul, dozing on and off until the maid showed up and he decided to amend her title to room service. He always mixed feeding with sex and she delivered a luscious Latin apéritif. Her craving for sexual pleasure was almost as tantalizing as her blood.

  Dorius' chemistry didn't allow him to drink the processed blood that his company, BAMVC, sent out daily. He and the nine other Seraphs were allowed to hunt, but according to the almighty rules, not allowed to kill their mortal victims. Unfortunately, when a Seraph feeds, the blood lust is almost overpowering, making it hard not to kill the donor. Learning control took a lot of concentration. Having sex with the donor helped.

  It would be much easier if he could sip blood from a wineglass like his brother Marcus, basking in pretense. After fifteen hundred years of immortality, hunting Rogues and having to drink from humans, Dorius found it hard to pretend.

  He reached over and patted the ass of the naked maid. She yawned, stretched her long slender body and rolled over, smiling up at him. Her fingers trailed the fine line of black hair from his chest to the thick nest of curls cradling his manhood. She grinned at him, licking her pale lips.

  "You wouldn't want to play with that, sugar. It turns into a big, ugly monster at night."

  "Mmmm…yes…I see." The woman's mouth joined her hand, and she began to pleasure him again.

  Dorius laid back and closed his eyes. His fangs slid from his gums as his hand played over the softness of her hair. He pushed his thoughts into her mind, It's time for you to leave now, love. Be a good girl and get dressed.

  The woman pulled her mouth from his swollen shaft, her tongue teasing as she stared up at Dorius' unmoving lips. She shook her head, got up with jerky movements, dressed and walked away from the bed like a marionette. She wouldn't remember him the minute the door closed behind her.

  His cell phone vibrated on the dresser as the door shut.

  Dorius jumped up, taking long strides toward the phone. The mirror over the dresser caught his naked frame. He stopped to admire himself as he flipped open the phone, hit the speaker button and grinned at his reflection. Long fangs glistened in the lamplight as he tossed his hair over his shoulder for a better view of his chest.

  His eyes jerked to the phone when he heard the collected voice of his older brother, Marcus. "Dorius, have you cleared up the rogue issue? I assume they are all in custody and you will be bringing them in for judgment when you return?"

  "No, we have… a situation here. Not one I can't handle. Don't worry, I don't intend on missing Antoinette's wedding." Dorius rubbed his chest as he watched the muscles expand over his rib cage.

  "Good. Because you're the best man, remember?"

  "How could I forget?" Dorius smiled into the mirror. "Antoinette wanted me to do the honors instead of you, didn't she? And we both know why, don't we?"

  "Don't forget Christopher is ring bearer." Marcus said, ignoring his brother's remark. "Make sure you have a talk with him. We don't want his bad attitude ruining our sister's day."

  Dorius took in a deep breath. The mental picture of him dressed in his new black leather tux as he waltzed Antoinette down the aisle fell in a swirl down the gutter in his mind. "Christopher's… missing."

  "Damn it, the boy's your responsibility. You didn't let him join in the hunt did you?"

  Dorius' chest rumbled. "No, I left him with a friend… who's now dead. Christopher was gone when I got back but the wolf is on it and we'll find him tonight."

  "Dorius, you have a habit of forgetting obligations in favor of your self-centered agendas. I expected you to keep your eyes on him, not one of your little tarts. Find him and bring him back in one piece. Do you understand me?"

  "Yesss and I would suggest you remember who you're talking to. I handle this side of the business at BAMVC. You handle yours. Do you understand me?" Dorius ground his teeth and broke the connection, glaring at the cell phone.

  Who let the dogs out.. Who.. Who…

  Dorius hit the answer button. "What's the status, wolf?"

  "I just watched the cops pull the body from the lake," Paul said. "It's the same woman as the picture on the driver's license. They should be clearing out soon. There's still a faint scent of Christopher here. I'll phase and find him."

  "Exxxxcellent…"

  Monday morning, all six of us were sitting at the picnic table in the dining room.

  Jeni had her hand wrapped firmly around a machete.

  JoAnn held a Bic lighter in one hand, thumb positioned and ready, my blowtorch in the other. Four tent stakes sat on the table in front of her.

  We sat across from them; four brand new immortals with no more bags of blood.

  "Ok, so let's not panic," I said, while mentally chastising myself for not hiding the blowtorch. "We do have a hundred acres with plenty of wildlife, and there are still a few glasses of blood left in a pitcher in the fridge from the deer I bled last night."

  "Then why do you all keep drooling over our necks?" JoAnn spat, holding up the purple lighter, her fingers shaking on the trigger of the blowtorch.

  "None of you will be sucking on either of us." Jeni fingered the machete.

  Zaire growled.

  Resi let out a nervous giggle.

  Totally unaware of the fight brewing, Mom sat with her bare feet tucked up under her, wearing one of Resi's short skirts. A hot pink tube top hugged her perky new chest. She played with her new blonde curls, gazing at herself in the magnifying mirror in front of her. "Your father was never good in bed, ya know? It was always wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and then I had to douche."

  I ignored her, focusing on Zaire. She looked about ready to pounce.

  "I'm so ready to get me some nookie." Mom just wouldn't shut up.

  Zaire licked her lips.

  "Nanna, sweetie, will you get your face out of the mirror and listen to me?" Jeni's eyes flashed to Mom before jerking back to Zaire.

  Zaire's chest rumbled.

  "Resi, I think you should get Zaire a glass of blood," I suggested.

  "I don't want any more friggin' deer blood." Zaire's fangs dropped. "JoAnn, you ready?"

  "You come near me and I'll use this!" JoAnn had a death-grip on the blowtorch. She flicked the Bic and a long, blue blaze shot six inches into the air, igniting her bangs.

  Resi reached over the table and snatched the blowtorch. JoAnn started screeching, dropped the lighter, wobbled around and then began to slap her forehead.

  "Ummm, smell that f
lame-broiled-flesh? It's bitchen," Zaire hissed.

  Jeni grabbed a lap blanket off the recliner and threw it over JoAnn's head, tossing quick glances at Zaire. "I won't go down without a fight." She swung the machete in a daring arc, the point coming dangerously close to Resi's throat.

  JoAnn slid the blanket down off her face. The stench of sizzling hair, smashed against a pink forehead, permeated the air.

  I started laughing.

  "We need to set some new ground rules." Jeni was still holding the machete in front of her in an 'en-guard' position.

  "Now I have to cut my bangs," JoAnn whined.

  "No. You don't," Zaire informed her.

  "I like the way my eyes sparkle," Mom said.

  "Nanna, sweetie, did you not see your daughter's hair flaming?" Jeni asked.

  "She's an idiot." Mom leaned into the mirror and ran a finger over her new fangs. "Let me bite you Jo. Then your hair will grow back."

  JoAnn backed slowly over to the couch.

  Nonchalantly, I walked to the refrigerator and pulled out the jug of blood. "Have we figured out if we can go out in the sun?" I asked, hoping to end the stand-off. I poured four glasses and passed them around, starting with Zaire. "I mean, none of us have gone out during the day yet. I know you think we can, Zaire, but I'm not convinced."

  "I'm damn sick-and-tired of goin' over this. I say we toss your ass out there and chalk that one off our list." Zaire grabbed the glass and scowled at me before she chugged it.

  Jeni tapped the machete against her hand, eyeing Zaire. "I say we toss your ass out there, Zaire."

  Zaire pounded the empty glass on the table and locked eyes with Jeni.

  Mom broke their concentration. "Damn, I like the way my tits reach out for a hand." She adjusted her tube-top over her breasts and pushed her glass of blood toward Zaire.

  Zaire growled.

  "Oh for Christ's sake. Do I have to do everything?" Resi set her drained glass on the table and headed toward the front door.

  "Oh, this is gonna be good!" Mom jumped up. "Do we have any aloe?"

  "I do." JoAnn headed for the downstairs bathroom. "And I can use it on my forehead too."