by Jasmine Walt
I point at the door behind her. “Yeah, you need to get the hel… You need to leave, girl.”
She shakes her head and creeps toward me on tip toes. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”
I hold up both hands to stop her. “Look, you don’t need to understand. You just gotta go.”
“Please.” She brings her hands together in front of her face like she’s in prayer. “It’s an honor for me to make this sacrifice for you.”
Something about her words makes. Me. Snap.
I start laughing. Not regular laughing. Crazy, maniacal laughter. Whatever expression my face wears with this laugh must make Ana uncomfortable. She backs away until she’s pressed tightly against the door.
If I could stand, I would. But the laughing hurts enough on its own.
“You’re only twenty,” I sputter once my laughter fizzles out. “Do you even know what the hell you volunteered for?”
She nods her head with enthusiasm. “Yes, my sacrifice will mean that you’ll be strong enough to get the cure. To put the world back right again.” She smiles, flashing the wires on her teeth at me. I’ve seen grown women with braces, but again, it makes her look much too young.
“It’s an honor to go out in service of a hero,” she says.
I scoff. That’s one word I’ve never been called.
Bastard, asshole, killer, sure. Hero? Never.
“I’m no hero.” Again, I point at the door behind her. “Please, go.”
She doesn’t budge. “But, you are.” She smiles again, this time it’s softer. “You’re a siren. You came here and saved us. You’ll continue on and save the world.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What do you like to do, Ana?”
She presses her lips together. “What?”
“Before all this.” I lift my brow higher. “What did you like to do?”
“Um.” She shrugs. “I’d take care of my baby brother… And I’d write.”
I nod. “Did you love it? The writing?”
She smiles once more, but this time she sports a glint in her eyes. It’s a nice picture. I know that glint. As a Muse, I often fuel that glint.
“Here’s how this is actually going to go down. You’re going to go on… write some awesome shit…” I manage a pained smile for her. “And I’m going to get my ass out of this bed and save the world.”
She breaks out into a fourth smile. The one I’ll remember her for. Then she rushes forward and throws her arms around my neck. I try not to wince at the pain. After a few seconds, I pat her on the back.
“Alright, girl, gon’ and get out of here.”
She stands up, sniffles, and wipes a tear from her cheek. “You sure you’re going to be alright?”
I nod. “I’ll be just fine.”
She leans over and kisses my cheek, then turns on her heels and leaves. As soon as she’s gone, I close my eyes.
The pain from the wee ling venom is twisting my insides in pain. The sweats are coming back. I need a plan B. As I lay down, the door creaks open again. Soon, Kiwi is standing over me.
We stare at each other for several moments.
“You didn’t kill her.” Kiwi bites down on her lip.
The way she says it, with hushed surprise, pisses me off. I push the anger down. I’ve got bigger problems. “Yeah, she was a fucking kid.”
Kiwi nods, then sits on the edge of my bed. “Well, what are you going to do?”
I shrug. “Gloat? I told you guys this was a bad idea.”
She glares at me. “Well, you weren’t supposed to get bitten.”
I laugh. It comes out coarse and tired. “Sorry for not sticking to the plan.”
She falls into silence and I’m happy to join her there. I start to drift off when she says, “Can you use me?”
My eyes shoot open. Shaking my head, I say, “Nah, it works best with humans. I’ve done it a few times to other descendants… It never ends well.”
“Well, you have to do something. Why don’t you just… Just have your pick of the town? Plenty of others here. I’m sure there’s an asshole that wouldn’t weigh on your conscious.”
I laugh. Then I close my eyes. I won’t kill anyone this time, but there is something I can do. Something obvious.
It’s not a perfect plan, but it will do.
“What are you smiling about?” Kiwi says.
I glance at her and try to make my expression neutral.
“Go get me Juliet,” I say in a soft voice.
Her eyes narrow. “For what?”
“Just—” I wave her off. “—go get her. We need to have a little talk.”
22
Juliet comes in and gives me as much of a glare as she’s capable of. Then, she flips her hair and crosses her arms over her chest.
I actually manage a smile. Classic Juliet.
“Pike,” she says and she inches toward me. “We don’t have time for this. I need you to do what you need to do. Can you do that for me?”
I narrow my eyes, shake my head. “No, I can’t.”
“What?”
I shrug. “I’m not going to kill any of these people.”
Juliet sighs and shakes her head. “Bad time to grow a conscience.”
“Maybe.” I lean forward as much as I can. I grind my teeth at the pain. “But we came here to save these people, and you sent in a little girl for me to kill.”
She scoffs. “She volunteered.”
“She has her whole life in front of her.”
Juliet looks down at me. With a slight smile, she nods. “I guess you’ve forgotten about Sadie.”
I match her smug little smile with one of my own.
“No, I remember her.” I lean forward just a bit more. “And, do you remember me?”
She starts to open her mouth when I whistle. Her eyes go wide, and she crashes to her knees. Already feeling stronger, I sit all the way up and lean over her.
“What are you doing?” She gasps.
I wink at her and whistle again. She collapses onto her face. Siphoning off her makes me strong enough to stand. The burning in my blood, in my throat, is almost gone. I reach over and grab her by the neck, forcing her to stand up with me.
Turning her around, I look down into her face.
Her expression hasn’t changed.
“Tsk, tsk.” That won’t do.
I whistle a third time. A long, sensual tune. The ice blue of her eyes go white as I ride my siren high.
Her mouth opens wide, but she can’t speak. And something dances in her eyes. Something different. Something that feels like fear.
I smile wide, then drop her.
“I’m tired, Juliet. Of being your bitch. Of being Compound Six’s bitch.” I toss her onto the bed and start to pace the room. “I come out here and put my black ass on the line. You put Sadie’s life on the line. We lose Tripp, and now…” I realize I’m yelling, and I spin around to take in Juliet.
She is gasping for air, clawing at her own throat.
“And now, you ask me to kill a fucking child.” I place my hand beside my head, then descend on her. “Consider my god damned limit reached, bitch. If you ask me if I can do anything one more time, I will fucking kill you.”
With that, I sit down, let out a final whistle, then loosen my control on her.
Her remaining link to me will keep her alive. Just barely.
And not for long.
Even when I’m strong enough to stand and go outside, we don’t set out. We probably should, but darkness has cast itself all over the ground, and it’s just not smart to move at night.
Not with monsters everywhere.
Fires burn all over the place. A main fire rushes toward the sky from the middle of the town, and smaller fires burn here and there, giving off some nasty stench.
Wee ling bodies being burned.
Little fuckers.
I take a seat around the main fire beside Kiwi, who presses herself in close to me and whispers, “You look better.”
I
grin. “You flirting with me, girl?”
She ignores my charm and glances around at all the faces around the fire. I notice they’re all shooting looks our way. Fascinated looks. Curious looks. Awed looks.
“No one here is dead,” Kiwi says to me softly.
I nod. “No one.”
She’s quiet for a little while, but I can feel her gaze on me. Feel her question burning a hole in my side. I don’t give her the obvious answer she’s fishing for. Might be dangerous; the woman can shoot lasers from her eyes.
Finally, Kiwi clears her throat. “Where is Juliet?”
I glance at her. “Um, she told me she needed to rest.”
Kiwi’s eyes narrow. Even when she’s glaring at me, I find her so damn fun to look at. More fun than any woman I’ve ever met.
That feeling of discomfort creeps along my skin.
“Is she dead?”
I roll my eyes. “Why are you asking me some shit you know the answer to?”
She hisses at me, and I jump. She hasn’t done that in a while.
“Just answer me!” Her voice is a little too loud.
The buzzing of conversation that was going on around us ceases. All eyes are on us for a few seconds. When the last pair of eyes glance away, I look at Kiwi and sigh.
“She’s not dead. Which you know. Because we still need her, and I’m pretty sure you would have tried to kill me if I killed her.”
She stares at me for several seconds. Finally, she nods and sweeps her gaze toward the fire.
“Yeah,” she says. “Did you release her?”
I shake my head even though she’s no longer looking at me. “No, if I did that she’d only have a few hours.” I cross my arms in front of me and enjoy the fire spitting its heat toward my face. “I only did a partial feed. Neither of us are one hundred percent, but it’ll get the job done.”
She doesn’t say anything, but I can feel her. Something is making her anxious. I place a hand on her shoulder, and she turns her head toward me.
“Hey, no worries, girl. We’re still gonna get this shit done.”
She nods. “I know, but you’ll…”
I feel another wave of anxiety leak from her. I frown, trying to guess what’s causing it. Then, the obvious hits me.
The thing she won’t say.
That I’ll die if I don’t do a regular feed.
I drop my hand and turn my attention back to the fire. We sit in silence until the woman with the kind face comes and offers us both plates.
“It’s eggplant,” she says as I reach for the plate.
I glance down at the mass of purple on my plate and nod. “Smells good…”
She splays her fingers across her chest. “Rosemary, like the herb.” With a smile, she reaches for my hand. I take one away from the plate to shake hers.
“My favorite herb,” I say with a wink.
She blushes and nods, then scurries off, almost tripping on her own feet.
Beside me, Kiwi snorts. “You’re such a flirt.”
“Nope, just smart.”
“Since when?”
“Ha!” I toss a wink at her. “Longer than you’ve been funny.” I take a bite out of my eggplant and close my eyes. It’s rubbery, but one of the best things I’ve tasted in a hot minute. As soon as I swallow, I say, “My momma always taught me to compliment a woman that brings me food. Otherwise, she might put some shit in it one day.”
Kiwi actually laughs. My eyes pop open. Pretty sure it’s the first time I’ve heard that kind of sound come out of her face.
“Well.” She takes a small bite out of her own eggplant. “Your mother sounds like she’s a smart woman.”
My face tightens. I try to smile. “Yeah, she was.”
Kiwi looks toward me. I don’t know this because I’m not looking at her. She just has that kind of stare you can feel.
“Was?”
I nod tightly.
“What happened to her?”
I take another bite to keep my mouth full. She seems to take the hint and peers back out at the fire.
“Wow, look at this place,” she says. “As close to normal as I’ve been in a long time.”
I glance around at all the people. Elderly faces. White faces. Black faces. Yellow faces. All laughing like the shit isn’t raining down around them. Embracing each other. Resting their heads on the shoulders of those next to them.
It all does look pretty damn normal.
Something claws at my gut. It makes me feel good, well, better than I have in a while, to be here. But I still don’t feel a part of it. I feel on the outside of it.
I always feel on the outside of it.
I finish up my food and stand up. Casting my gaze down at Kiwi, I say, “I’m going to check on Juliet.”
She nods.
“Don’t kill her,” she calls out to me as I walk away.
That brings a light smile to my lips. I wave at a group of people as I pass and make my way back to the cabin Wisteria Haven’s residents have let us borrow. I open the door and my heart almost collapses in my rib cage.
Juliet is standing up, glaring at me. Well, not glaring. Giving me stoic Juliet face.
I wasn’t expecting her to be standing for a while.
“What are you…”
Before I can finish asking my question, Juliet holds up her arm. The one connected to her comm link with Compound Six. I narrow my eyes and shake my head in confusion.
“You remember that chip that was placed in your head when you signed on for this mission?”
Shit. This isn’t going to go well.
I nod slowly.
“Well, it wasn’t just to keep tabs on you. It was in case you got out of line.” She flips her hair. “And I’m afraid you’ve gotten out of line, Pike.”
I pucker my lips to whistle.
But I’m not fast enough.
Juliet slams a button on her watch, and a red hot pain slices up my spine. My head jerks back, and I let out a scream. Pain beats into me. Pain so intense it feels like I’ve been under its grip for a lifetime. Then, just as quickly as it came on, it stops.
I stumble backward, crashing into the door.
I look in Juliet’s direction, but I barely see her.
I barely see anything.
And I’m hungry. My insides twist with it. Everything else has gone out of my head. With a growl, I turn toward the door and stomp through it, aching to kill.
23
When I step back into the night, everything is different. I can barely see any of it, but I can feel it, pecking at my veins. The woman with the kind face, I can’t remember her name now, passes me with a huge grin. Something on my face gives me away for what I truly am and the smile dissolves from her face.
She thought me a hero.
Now she’s backing away from me, clutching her scarf closer to her body, and scurrying off.
I smile.
I’ve never been a fan of wearing masks. Let them all see me.
I stalk toward the fire. After a quick glance I don’t see Ana. Taking in a deep breath, I close my eyes and feel for her. It’s a matter of seconds.
Now, she’s mine.
A hand grips my arm. I open my eyes and dart my gaze down at Kiwi.
“Hey, you okay?” Her eyebrows raise. “You don’t look like yourself.”
I rip my arm away from her. “Go to bed, little girl.”
Her eyes open as wide as small planets. “Fuck off, Pike.”
I laugh as she walks away. “Yeah, fuck me, indeed.”
I turn left and trudge toward the cottage. Ana’s cottage. I clomp up the steps and stand before the door. Reaching out, I touch it and draw in a deep breath.
It’s like white folk smelling their wine before they indulge. Makes it taste all the sweeter. And she does smell so sweet.
She smells of creativity. Of innocence. Of playfulness and fearlessness. Some of my favorite things to eat. Unable to hold off any longer, I push the door open.
The ro
om is dimly lit with an oil lamp. Shadows dance off the walls. She’s seated at a small desk in the corner. She turns to me and smiles.
For about half a second.
Then she leaps up. Her chair clatters to the floor. I smile. “Relax, it’s just me.”
She backs herself up against her desk. Several books and pens spill to the floor. I move forward and lean over to pick them all up.
“Here,” I say, handing them to her with a smile.
She shakes her head. I can smell the fear wafting off her. My mouth waters.
“You look different,” she says.
I nod. “I feel different.”
“Wha…what do you want?”
My smile widens. I think about that. Not about what I want. That’s clear. But, I do wonder if I should make her feel better about what’s going to happen.
It’s a matter of seconds before I decide against it. She did, after all, volunteer for this a few hours ago. I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around her neck.
Then, I whistle.
Her eyes glaze over in ecstasy, in all the worldly goods a human girl could possibly want. I’ve given her a small slice of heaven, hand crafted just for her.
In return, she’s given me her life.
It doesn’t take long. I’m that hungry. When I’m done, she hangs, a limp dish rag in my arms. Without thought, I snap her head to the left and listen to the pop of her neck. Then, I let her fall to the floor.
And just like that, everything goes back to normal. Colors sharpen. Sounds reach my ears. I feel myself again. I stare down at Ana’s limp body.
At her dead body.
My eyes widen so hard I feel like they’ll pop out of my head.
“No,” I say, backing away from her.
Everything comes rushing back. Juliet. The button. The pain. The hunger. The monster. This.
This…
This horrible thing I’ve just done.
I crash to my knees. I didn’t want to kill Ana. Why did I do it? “I didn’t mean to kill her.”
“No, no no.” I start to rock myself like a self- soothing child. “No.”
I cover my face. My mouth rips open into a silent scream.
Tears roll down my face in huge globs. I don’t even feel the siren high. I feel like an endless pit of this horrible thing I’ve done.