“What about our slave, our two wagons, and our stock?”
“Well . . . I reckon you’d bring ’em with ya.” There was a new note of eagerness in his voice.
“That’s so kind of you, Mr. Hollis!” Her voice was heavy with sarcasm, her face red with anger. The farmer smiled victoriously. He’d heard her words but not the meaning behind them. However, the smile left his face when Berry let loose with a torrent of angry words. “You lily-livered, belly-crawlin’ worm! My pa ain’t cold yet ’n’ you come here offerin’ to take us in! You saw a chance to get your hands on two wagons, two mules, an ox, and three sets of hands to work for ya while you ride, nice ’n’ easy, on Pa’s mare!” Her nostrils flared and angry lights flashed in her green eyes. She continued through tight lips, “You worked one woman to death a-havin’ your kids and a-plowin’ your fields. Ya ain’t no man to stay by a woman! Behind ’er is where you’d stand!” Berry had to stop and catch her breath.
“Now . . . see here . . .”
“You see here, ya vulture! Get the hell outta my camp!” She was so angry she was almost sick. “I ain’t takin’ no man such as the likes of you. You come ’round here again, ya struttin’ rooster, ’n’ I’ll . . . get my knife ’n’ make a hen outta you!”
The man’s mouth hung open. He stood in shock until the wagonmaster nudged him, then he turned on his heel and scampered away.
“Ya ain’t oughtta talked like that,” Mr. Benson said curtly as if he were talking to an unruly child. “There ain’t no other man on this train without a woman.”
Berry’s eyes swung to him. “I don’t give a . . . damn! I’ll not take a scrawny, grabby little weasel like him! How could you think I would? It woulda been just dandy for him. He’d been set up good with me ’n’ Rachel takin’ care of his younguns and Israel to do his work. What woulda been in it for us? Rachel and me aren’t goin’ to jump out of the fryin’ pan and into the fire!”
“Wal, what’re ya goin’ to do then?” He jerked the words out impatiently. “We can’t wait on ya. It’s gettin’ on, ’n’ crops has gotta be put in.”
Berry took a deep breath to calm herself. “We don’t know yet if we have land to go to. We haven’t had time to talk.”
The wagonmaster took his hat off and wiped his brow with his sleeve. “Women can’t take up a tract o’ land,” he said with heavy disgust in his voice.
“Why not?”
“Wal, ’cause . . .”
“I’ll go to a land man ’n’ find out.”
“We’re leavin’ in a hour’s time, miss,” he said sternly.
“Then go! We can’t tag along if we don’t know where we’re goin’,” she said stubbornly.
Indecision was written on the man’s face. He rubbed his whiskers while he pondered. When he spoke, it was as if a great burden had been placed on his shoulders. “I reckon I c’n take ya in. It’ll be a bunch, what with my woman’s ma ’n’ sister, ’n’ our younguns.” He scratched his head with work-worn, knurled fingers. “I just can’t bring myself ta leave ya behind.”
Berry’s mind was made up in a flash. “We’re not goin’, Mr. Benson. We’re figurin’ on stayin’ here, gettin’ us a place ’n’ startin’ us a business.”
“It ain’t fittin’!” he stammered. “Your pa’d . . .”
“You don’t know what my pa would think fittin’. He liked his drink. He never did a day’s work if he could get me ’n’ Rachel to do it. Him bein’ dead don’t change that!”
“By the Lord Henry, gal!”
“Goodbye, Mr. Benson. Thanks for helpin’ to bury Pa.”
“A hour, miss,” he said sternly. “If’n ya want to come, pull in behind.” He stalked off.
Berry watched him leave. Law! What had she done? She’d thrown his help back in his face. Well, it couldn’t be helped now. She wouldn’t take that Hollis for her man and they wouldn’t follow along behind Benson and his family. She stepped up on the box and climbed into the wagon. Rachel lay on the pallet, her eyes open, staring. Berry unbuttoned her good dress and pulled it off over her head. She folded it carefully and put it in the trunk.
“Did ya ever think it’d come to this, Rachel?” she asked tiredly. “Pa’s gone. I didn’t think I felt sad, but I guess I do, in a way. I just wish he’d been a better man.”
Rachel lay on her side, her arm folded beneath her head. She had been unusually quiet since learning that Asa was dead. “Asa should’ve stayed in Ohio. He didn’t last very long out here where men are meaner ’n’ wilder than him. I wonder who killed him.”
“Somebody that wanted his money. He had money from the farm. If he was carryin’ it, it’s gone now.” Berry slipped her everyday brown linsey dress over her head and tied her apron in place. “Did you hear what I told Mr. Benson?”
Rachel nodded. “And what you told Mr. Hollis, too.” She smiled, showing small, perfect teeth. The smile took years from her face.
“That mule’s ass! Just the thought of havin’ that short-brained lout touchin’ me gives me the shivers!” Berry poked stray hair up into her braid with angry, short jabs of her fingers. “He stood there, eyes bulgin’ and his mouth hangin’ open like a fish about to take bait, all the time a-thinkin’ he’d get his hands on Israel and these wagons.”
“That’s not all he was wantin’ to get his hands on.” Rachel laughed softly, then her face sobered. “For the first time in our lives we don’t have somebody tellin’ us what to do. I’ve been thinkin’ about it since we heard about Asa.” She pushed herself up from the pallet and painfully stretched her legs out in front of her. “Where’s the guns, Berry? We’ve got a musket and Asa had a rifle and two more muskets. I’ll clean ’em and load ’em. If any of that river trash comes around here with notions on their mind, we’ll be waitin’ for them.”
Berry watched her while she talked. The woebegone look was gone from her face and her voice held a positive ring. “With three muskets and a rifle, we’d have four shots. It’d be enough to cause ’em to think a minute.”
Rachel got to her feet. “Help me down, honey. Then you go through Asa’s things and find the papers on Israel. We can’t let those be stole away from us, or somebody’d come in ’n’ take him away from us.”
“That’s right! I hadn’t thought of that.” Berry got out of the wagon, then guided Rachel’s foot to the box so she could get down. There was a world of difference between the Rachel of today and the Rachel who had cowered behind her yesterday. Instead of feeling resentment, Berry felt a surge of pity for the man who had so wasted his life and so dominated them that they were actually happier now that he was gone.
Berry and Rachel stood by their wagon and watched the train of settlers from Ohio move past them and down the trail to Saint Louis, where they would spread out and head for their new homes. The women called out to them and waved. Mr. Hollis drove by them without a glance in their direction. Mr. Benson paused. Berry shook her head. She could see his lips move as he swore. She couldn’t curb an insolent grin. He cracked the whip over the backs of his mules and didn’t look back.
When the dust had cleared, theirs were the only two wagons left in the long, flat meadow. Berry’s throat clogged with wonder. So much had happened. She and Rachel were alone in a hard, unwelcome wilderness. Whatever was to happen to them now, there was no turning back.
Berry found herself thinking about Simon and gave herself a mental shake. She had to work to keep her thoughts from straying to him. Somehow she had expected him to come when he heard her pa was dead. If he’d been serious about courting her he’d have come. He knew the train was moving out today. But maybe he thought Asa would stay here and start a tavern. In a secret little compartment of her mind she admitted to herself that Simon was the reason she hadn’t searched Asa’s trunk for a land map. If she’d found one and the land was near Mr. Benson’s land, they’d not have had an excuse to stay behind.
The best thing about their new situation, she decided, was the change in Rachel. Just twenty-four hour
s ago she had been a quiet, brooding woman whose spirit appeared completely broken. Now it seemed as if the dark depression that had gripped her had been washed away. She spoke in a gentle but positive way, and occasionally she laughed. Her eyes had lost their dull, passive look and were now bright with interest and excitement.
“Berry, are you sorry we didn’t go with them?”
“No!” Berry brought her attention back to the present. “They didn’t really care about us. They cared about our wagons ’n’ that good plow tied to the side. And . . . the stock. They only saw us ’n’ Israel as hands to work for them, not as people who had dreams ’n’ wanted to be happy.”
“They’re gone. Let’s forget them and plan on what we’re goin’ to do.” Rachel sat down on the box at the end of the wagon. “Get Israel. We need to know if we can depend on him or if he’ll run off the first chance he gets now that there’s not a man to watch him.”
“Do you think Fain and Simon will come to see about us?”
“I don’t know, honey. We can’t depend on it. They may have gone upriver by now.” Rachel didn’t want Berry to know that she too had nurtured that hope. “I know that musket is heavy to carry around, but keep it with you. Now if you’ll get Israel we can find out if he’s stickin’ with us. Although I doubt he’d tell us if he wasn’t. I saw him walkin’ out to where he tethered the mules.”
Berry returned with the slave. She took the musket from the belt of her apron and sat down. The heavy gun rubbed against her breast and she wondered how Simon and Fain could move about so easily with guns tucked in their belts. “Sit down, Israel. I’ll break my neck lookin’ up at ya.”
The black man sank to the ground at their feet.
“Do you know how to shoot a gun?” Berry asked.
“No, ma’am. Ah never . . .”
“Can ya load one?”
“Yass’m.”
“That’ll help. I know you’re good at bashin’ in heads.” Berry smiled into the big man’s eyes and was rewarded with an awareness in his and then a broad smile. “Are you goin’ to stay with us or run off the first chance ya get?” The question took the smile off his face.
“Naw, missy . . .”
“I didn’t think you would, but I had to ask. From now on we’ve got to look out for each other. Do ya understand? You’ll eat the same food we eat, you’ll sleep in the wagon when it rains ’n’ other times if ya want to. Take what clothes Pa had that ya can wear, and Israel . . . you’ll never feel the whip on your back again.”
“Lawsey me!”
He looked at her in wonder, a slow, warm smile spreading across his face.
“Rachel has your papers. If you stay ’n’ help us now, someday you’ll be free.”
“Lawsey me, missy. I dunno free!” The broad shoulders sagged and the Negro hung his head.
“We won’t think about it now. Bring the stock in close so some thief can’t make off with them. And gather in enough firewood to light up this camp tonight. I’m thinkin’ that river trash knows Pa’s gone ’n’ they’ll come callin’. We can’t depend on anyone to help us. We got to help ourselves.”
“Yass’m. Yass’m, ah do dat, ’n’ ah’ll fill up the barrel wid water, too. Yass’m.” He got to his feet. “Yass’m.” He bobbed his head up and down.
Berry looked directly into his eyes, something she’s always been told not to do. White folks were not to look into a slave’s eyes any more than they’d look into the eyes of a dog or a mule. “I knew I could depend on you.”
It seemed to Berry that Israel walked taller and prouder when he left them. She turned to see Rachel’s eyes following him. “I told you he wasn’t as dumb as he let on,” she bragged. “Treat a man like a dumb beast ’n’ he’ll act like one. Treat him human ’n’ he’ll act human.”
Rachel’s eyes were filled with love and admiration. “You know a lot of things you never told me before.”
Berry looked away, hugging her secret thoughts. I’ve not told you the most important of all: Simon kissed me ’n’ I’ll never be the same again. My eyes are lookin’ for him all the time. I want him to want me, not because I’m a woman and can ease the ache most men take a woman for. I want it to be like you said . . . him wanting to touch me, laugh with me, play with me. . . . Aloud she said brightly, “Well, that’s done. Let’s go see what Pa had in the trunk.”
Asa had filed on land! Berry found the contract and the crude map in the bottom of the trunk along with a small bag of coins. She and Rachel hugged each other.
“We’ll go there and homestead. We won’t say nothin’ about Pa bein’ killed. We’ll live in the wagons until we can get a cabin built. How many coins, Rachel?”
Rachel finished counting before she answered. “Not more than twenty.” Disappointed, she put the coins back in the bag.
“That’s not very many for all the supplies we’ll need. Maybe we can barter the mare,” Berry said hopefully. Then, “How’re we goin’ to find this place?” She unfolded the map and turned it sideways. “This must be the river.” Her finger traced a line. “This says Saint Louis and the marked-off spot is west and north of that. It’s not on a river and it don’t look like it’s on a creek. How’ll we find it?” she said again.
“We’ll have to ask someone. We should’ve looked for the map before Mr. Benson left.”
“I’m glad we didn’t. He’d’ve not wanted us to homestead. He said women couldn’t take up land.”
“It’ll be hard,” Rachel said with a sigh.
“Not any harder than what we’ve been used to,” Berry answered stubbornly. “Do you think Fain, or . . . Simon would take us there?”
“They might . . . if we ever see them again.”
As evening approached, Berry cast anxious eyes around the clearing. Israel had carried in enough dead wood to keep a fire going all night. The mules, the ox, and the sorrel mare were tethered behind the wagons. She and Rachel each carried one of the muskets. The other musket, the rifle, the powder, and shot were under a cloth near the cookfire.
Berry unwrapped the sweet Simon had given her and took a small bite. She wrapped the rest and put it back in her pocket. Her hand caressed the paper lovingly. She had been careful to take only a small nibble now and then, and to hold it in her mouth so the treat would last longer. All day she had tried to keep him out of her mind. Now, the sweet in her mouth reminded her of his.
“We’ll hitch up the team and go into town tomorrow,” Rachel said, breaking into her thoughts. “We’ll ask at one of the stores where we can find Fain or Mr. Witcher.”
They ate a hasty meal and put away the cook things. As darkness approached, both women began to doubt the wisdom of their actions, but neither voiced her anxiety to the other. Rachel’s face was drawn with worry. The ache in her back had intensified as the day wore on. She sank down on the box and leaned back against the wagon wheel. There was very little possibility of help coming from the half-breed scout or from Fain or Simon. If the men had heard of their plight and were concerned for them, they would have been here by now.
This place seems a million miles from the farm in Ohio, Rachel thought. There’s no law in this land. The decent people in the town have no reason to think about the happenings at the wagon grounds where settlers come and go with regularity.
Rachel was as sure as sin that before the night was over, Asa’s friends would pay them a visit. She’d seen the lust in Linc’s eyes when he looked at Berry. She tried to reason out the best thing to do. They had to separate, she decided. The more she thought about it, the more sure she was that it was the right thing to do. She told Berry her plan and Berry agreed.
“You get in the wagon and rest, Rachel. I’ll take that old, dark quilt ’n’ get out there in the dark so I can watch.”
“I thought you could get in the other wagon.”
“No. It’s best if they think we’re both in the same wagon like the other night. You take the rifle and one of the muskets. I’ll take the other two.” She helped Rachel i
nto the wagon and then brought the guns to her. “Doesn’t it seem strange that Pa would have three muskets?”
“He won ’em at cards, more’n likely.”
Berry selected a spot among some leafy brush that grew around a giant oak. She spread the quilt, sat down on the edge of it, and pulled the rest over her lap. From this point she could see both the front and the back of Rachel’s wagon and the stock tethered behind and to the side of it. She rested her back against the tree and took the sweet from her pocket. The treat was almost gone. She wanted to hold on to it a little longer, so she returned it to her pocket without taking a nibble.
Berry was tense and nervous and suddenly very tired. Her eyes searched the darkness for a sight of Israel. After he had brought the stock in and carried in a supply of fuel for the fire he had disappeared. As far as she knew, he hadn’t returned to get his supper. She was acutely disappointed in him. Somehow she had been sure he wouldn’t run off and leave them alone. She hoped Rachel hadn’t noticed his absence. There was no need for her to worry until they were sure he wasn’t coming back.
* * *
In all his life Israel had never felt important or needed until now. Suddenly he had been pushed into a new role—that of protector to the white women who had been kind to him, who had made his life bearable. He was ready to lay his life down for them, but what good would that do? His worthless life was nothing. He had to find someone to help them. His mind had worked at the problem all day. Who would listen to a slave? The thought came to him that another slave would listen. He had seen a black man standing beside a stone building when they had come through town. He would find him and ask him what to do.
When darkness settled, Israel slipped out of camp and ran through the woods toward the town. The thought of what the white men would do to the missy overcame the terror of being alone in the wilderness and the uncertainty of what he would do when he reached town. On the outskirts of the town he hunkered down to get his breath and try to figure out the best way to reach the building at the end of the street. There was no doubt in his mind that if he was caught out alone he’d be stolen away and resold in one of the towns down the river.
Dorothy Garlock - [Annie Lash 01] Page 8