by Fall, Lucy
I wanted to stay furious with him, but I was already softening, I resented my weakness to this man, what I was willing to put up with just to be with him, but I couldn’t deny the sincerity of his words. He might have been going about this all wrong, but like he said, he was trying. And for a man who’d spent the last year being tortured, maybe that had to be enough.
However, one thing was going to get resolved tonight.
“Why haven’t we had sex?” I crossed my arms protectively around myself. It was a question that plagued me all the time now. “I want an honest answer, Hunter and not this when you say I’m ready crap. I’m ready. I’ve been ready. Half the time you won’t even let me go down on you.”
He went stick straight, his jaw clenched tight, eyes locked on mine. He didn’t say a word for a long moment. His throat worked on a swallow. I worried he wasn’t going to answer my question, but finally he did. “You’re a virgin.”
“Yeah, so? So were you at one time.”
“It’s different.”
“Why? Because I’m a girl?”
He sucked his teeth. “Because I’m scared I’ll hurt you.”
“Hurt me? How could you hurt me?”
“Eliza, I’ve been treated worse than an animal for almost a year. I’ve done horrible things that have made me into an animal. When I go down on you, when I make you come, I’m in control. It makes me feel alive. But when you touch me, I feel that animal coming out and it terrifies me that I’ll be too rough, that I’ll lose control. If I hurt you, I’d never forgive myself.”
I strode up to him and took his face between my hands. “Not once have I ever been afraid of you, Hunter. Not in one of your rages, not when you’re smacking my ass, not when you’re being aggressive. I can handle it. I can handle that animal.”
He shook his head. “You don’t understand. I barely control myself after I get to a certain point.”
“That’s why you’ve moved away from me after I’ve gone down you, isn’t it?”
“I’m so overcome with lust, I want to fuck you so bad, and I’m terrified I’m going to go too fast.”
Why hadn’t he just told me this? Why did the man keep everything bottled inside him? He’d let this worry fester inside him until it was irrational. One day he was going to explode.
Rising on my tiptoes, I pressed my lips to his. He tried to pull away, and I could feel the fear already grip him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body into his.
We just had to get over this hurdle. If the only thing that was stopping him from fucking me was my virginity, then we were going to take care of that issue right away.
“My pussy is wet, Hunter. I’m ready for you.”
There was a long groan I took as defeat, as his mouth reclaimed mine. He didn’t kiss me rough and hard like he usually did. His tongue swiped gently, almost lovingly, against mine. He grabbed me by the back of the knees then hoisted me up his waist. His cock rubbed against my pussy, causing me to moan.
He walked with me to the edge of the bed and laid me down. Then he gazed down at me for a long time. There were so many different emotions in his expression, and I wished I could ease whatever war he had going on in his head. No matter what he built up in his mind, I knew Hunter would never hurt me.
Not in a million years.
It was the last thing I was afraid of. The fears that gripped me were about the other things I knew he might do—had done before and would probably do again.
Such as pretend he didn’t know me in public…
Wanting him to stop thinking, I shifted onto my knees in front of him then pulled the silky top over my head. My breasts bounced free, pebbling instantly in the cool air. All I was left in was the matching bikini panties.
That stricken look came over his face. When he stepped back, I locked my fingers around his forearm and drew him back. I would be his lifejacket, keep him afloat in this moment with me, and not drowning in the recesses of his mind.
I understood so much more about his odd behavior now. So many things made sense.
I took his hand and placed it on my breast. The warmth of his palm against my skin had me closing my eyes on a sigh. I loved being touched by him. Gently, roughly, possessively. Any way.
“Touch me,” I whispered, opening my eyes.
He brushed the backs of his fingers over the curve of my right breast. As he slowly circled the nipple with a knuckle, I noticed the slight tremor of his hand.
Watching this magnificent man struggle to keep his lust for me contained was almost my undoing, but I kept my own desires in check. Though I would be losing my virginity, this was really all for him.
A huge milestone forward.
Reading into his words, I didn’t think Hunter had ever truly trusted himself with me. He had so many barriers he kept erected around him all the time, a false identity he portrayed to everyone else. He knew how to be rough. Demanding. But he believed he’d forgotten how to be soft in his captivity.
He continued the feathered touches across my skin, never increasing the pressure. The gentle skating of his skin over mine had my breathing escalating within seconds. I slowly exhaled. I wouldn’t be able to take much more of this. As much as I wanted to go slow for him, things needed to pick up for me.
I took his hand again and placed it between my thighs and rubbed my wet panties against him. A feral noise vibrated from his throat, then he tried to yank his hand away. I held tight.
“No,” I said. “I want you there. I need you here.”
Lust flared deep in his eyes. Throat working on a swallow, he clenched his jaw, the muscle starting to jump in his cheek as he began to rub my pussy. I moaned, releasing his hand. Not wanting him to break his concentration, I ripped one side of my panties so that it fell open.
Something snapped inside him. He ripped the other side off and tossed the torn fabric onto the bed. There was that manic look in his eyes again, that frantic need as he stripped off his shirt and shoved off his pants. His cock strained proudly away from his body.
Wrapping an arm around my waist, he took me in an aggressive kiss, pushing me backwards into the middle of the bed as he climbed onto the mattress. I wrapped my arms around him, holding on to him, as he ravished my mouth. Then his hand tangled in my hair and tugged my head back. He rained kisses over my neck.
Hunter went completely still against me then he jerked. Tremors shook his body.
“Jesus,” he ran both hands through his hair and I knew I was about to lose him, but I refused to allow it to happen.
Taking charge, I tugged him on top of me. He was rigid. Unyielding. I had to do something or he was going to be off me in seconds. I wrapped my legs around his waist, rubbing my wet center against the tip of his cock.
Squeezing his eyes closed, he lowered his head to my chest and groaned. “Eliza.”
It almost sounded like a plea. For me continue? Stop? There was no way in hell the latter was going to happen.
“I want you inside me, Hunter,” I whispered in his ear. “I need you inside me.”
He head snapped up, teeth clenched. His body quaked from fighting his lust.
“Protection,” he gritted out.
“I’m on the pill. No reason to stop. I want this.”
A defeated growl ripped past his lips as his cock probed my folds. He opened his eyes and looked at me. “If I hurt you, tell me.”
Then he was sinking in, inch by slow inch. As he stretched me, I felt a sharp sting. I’d underestimated how long and thick he was and how easy it would be for my inexperienced body to accept him. The deeper he went, the sharper the sting, and it caused me to cry out. Everything in him froze except for the violent shake of his body from holding himself back.
“I hurt you.” He started to pull out.
I grabbed his ass, keeping him in place. “I’m okay.”
“Eliza,” he grunted, lowering his head to my shoulder.
I twined my fingers in his hair. “Let it happen.”
He thr
ust the last couple of inches forward and gasped, squeezing my arms around me, and I was awed at how full he stretched me. How well he fit in me.
“You feel amazing inside me, Hunter.”
For a long moment, he stayed still, giving my body time to mold around him. Then he began a slow rhythm. I knew he was still holding back, knew he would not let go completely this first time. I didn’t want him holding back with me ever again, and I had to make sure that he understood how much I loved every second of his cock in me.
“Oh God,” I breathed. “That feels so good.”
And it did feel good—better than good. It felt like my entire body was filling with pleasure, filtering down through every cell in my body.
Hunter kissed me, deeply, slowly, thoroughly as cupped my breast in his palm, kneading the skin. As he kept to the leisurely pace, I gasped and groaned at ever thrust and caress. The tension eased from his body.
He ripped his mouth from mine, then sucked a nipple into his mouth. The unexpected electricity that shot straight to my clit from the suction of his mouth made me moan and thrust my hips up. I needed something more, but I wasn’t sure what. I clawed at his ass, pushing down as I rose my hips to meet him.
“Faster, Hunter,” I gasped. “Faster.”
His rhythm became faster as he reclaimed my lips with his. Lowering his hand to my knee, he tugged it up to his side. Though his pace was faster, his touch, his kisses were soft.
He’d never touched or kissed me this way. Like I was precious to him.
We were not fucking like I had always assumed we would do. We were making love and all Hunter’s feelings for me were clearly present in each touch, kiss and thrust.
I hugged him close and he buried his head into my neck. I concentrated on the amazing feeling of him being inside me. I had no idea that sex felt this wonderful, this right. But I knew it’d never feel like this with someone else. I’d never been with anyone because I was meant to do this with him, help him heal in a way through the beauty of making love, let him accept that his softer side had not been killed in that hole where they’d tried to kill his spirit.
My heart expanded with emotions. I loved this man.
The pressure in my lower body built with each thrust. His body started to stiffen and his thrusts became even faster. I fell first, moaning as I orgasmed and he followed quickly behind me.
Breathing choppy, he thrust three more times, and I could feel him spurting inside me, before finally collapsing on me. I ran my fingers up and down his spine, enjoying the weight of him pressing me deeper into the mattress.
He lifted his head and gazed down at me as he brushed my hair back. That softness I’d seen earlier today was back and my heart caught. I knew what it was. He couldn’t verbalize, he might not even know he felt it, or was possibly fighting it.
He loved me too.
Now I just had to wait for him to accept it—if he could accept it. He’d been through so much there was no telling how this would end.
But for now I would embrace what he was nonverbally telling me.
* * *
Soft fingers ran over my hip and up my waist arousing me from my sleep. Hunter was spooned behind me, nipped my shoulder. Giving a pleased sigh, I reached behind me and cupped the back of his head. We’d spend a lot of nights sleeping in the same bed, but it was different now, much more intimate.
“Do you remember that day in my kitchen?” he said as he kissed over my shoulder blade.
“Mmmhmm.” Vividly.
“How I wanted to fuck you from behind?”
My pussy began to throb as the image he’d demanded I imagine while he rubbed me off sprang instantly into my mind. Me on all fours, him pounding me. And I nestled my bottom closer to his cock. He pressed into my ass, grinding his hips. His hard cock slipped between my butt cheeks then down over my center.
I rolled over onto my back, loving the soreness of muscles that had never been worked out, reminding me of the way he’d loved me earlier. But he wasn’t going to make love to me now. Looking up in his face, raw lust darkened his expression. No, this man was finally going to fuck me.
He teased one of my nipples with his fingertips. “How I wanted to smack your ass as I fucked you?”
“Oh god, yes.” The nipple tightened and his soft touches sent electricity slicing down to my clit.
Lowering his head, he circled the nub with his tongue. I loved watching him tease my breast, loved watching do anything to me.
“I’m going to fuck you, Eliza. Hard. You ready for that?” He sucked the nipple deep in mouth and gasped.
“Fuck me, Hunter.”
“Gladly.”
He flipped me onto my stomach then kissed down my spine and up the slope of my ass. He shifted to his knees then parted my legs with his hand. Once he had me spread, he slipped behind me and tugged up my hips until I was on my knees. Instantly, I rose onto my elbows, as I’d imagined that day in the kitchen, but he pushed down on my shoulder.
“No. Ass only in the air.”
Lowering back down, my breathing started to quicken. Something about this position left feeling so open and exposed to him. It was like I was offering my pussy to him, begging for him to fill. And I had no control over how hard or fast he went. I had no way to reach him. I loved the submissive position. Loved the feeling of him dominating me like that.
I expected to feel his cock thrust deep into me. Instead his fingers ran over my anus to my center. He scooted closer to me and pumped his fingers. His palm slapped against my pussy, and I moaned.
“You like it rough, don’t you, Eliza?”
I did. Oh God, I did.
He continued beating my pussy. Seconds later, wetness gushed between my legs and the most amazing feeling swept over my entire body, making it tingle.
“Oh fuck, yes. That’s it, baby.”
Then he was thrusting deep inside me, pounding, hard and furious. I went to lift up on my elbows, but again he pushed me down so my cheek pressed against the quilt as he smacked my ass. The sharp pleasant sting made me gasp. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled my head back. I cried out, loving the yank at my scalp.
“You’re so fucking tight.”
He rode me hard, not holding back. Our skin smacked from the force of his thrusts. Another loud smack rent the air as his hand met my ass. The animal had been unleashed and I loved every second of it.
I couldn’t believe he’d been afraid to share this part of himself with me. It called to my own animal side, as I grit my teeth against the exquisite painful pleasure.
Then he was gone from behind me and I was flipped onto my back. My legs draped over his shoulders, he was back inside me within seconds. The new angle hit another area of my pussy that it hadn’t before, sending a new sensation through me.
“Oh God,” I cried out.
Unlike our first time together, he fucked me without restraint.
A few more strokes more and then we came together. Hunter clenched his teeth above me, grunting hard as I moaned my through my release. As both our orgasms eased, he shifted so he curled back behind me, his arm around my waist.
He kissed my shoulder, and smiled, lightly scratching his forearm. Just a few hours ago, I had been ready to walk away, but I was so glad I stayed.
Coming to New York had been the best thing we could’ve done for our relationship.
* * *
I woke up to Hunter buttoning his shirt. Glancing at the clock, I frowned. It was still a little too early for him to be getting ready for his meeting.
“Where are you going?” I asked groggily.
“I did a lot of thinking last night while you were asleep. And you’re right, my silence is only causing issues with Sophie. She isn’t taking the hint that I’m not interested, so I need to make it clear I’m not.”
Giddiness swelled in my chest. He was taking our relationship public. “You’re going to tell her about us?”
He froze buttoning the cuff of his shirt. “No. Sophie can’t k
now about us. She’s going to fuck it all up.”
Disappointment deflated my moment of happiness. “You’re overreacting, Hunter.”
“And you’re underreacting. You’re blinded by the ‘friendship’ the two of you have. Yeah, Sophie is great until she feels like she’s been betrayed. Then her claws show and she’s capable of anything.”
“There wouldn’t have been a betrayal if we’d been upfront from the beginning.”
Sighing, he closed his eyes. “I don’t want to rehash this topic, Eliza. I’ve given you my reasoning for wanting to keep our relationship a secret. Those reasons have not changed. I don’t want Sophie. I want you and I want you all to myself. Are we clear?”
I bit my lip, knowing I had agreed to his terms, but I still hated being kept a secret. “Yeah, we’re clear.”
“Good. I called her about thirty minutes ago and asked her to meet me at the café downstairs.”
“Just do it as nicely as possible.” I hated the idea of Sophie being hurt, especially when she wasn’t getting the full explanation as to why.
“I’ll do what I need to do to make it clear.” He leaned down and kissed me long and hard. “I’ll be back.”
After he left, I sat up, staring at the door. I knew I should stay right there and let him handle it, but I was so curious to know what was going to happen between him and Sophie. I threw the covers off me, yanked on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt then slipped out door.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Hunter. I did, and I believed he would tell Sophie he had no intentions of getting back together with her. But I couldn’t seem to sit and wait there, not knowing what was happening.
I had to see it for myself.
I rode down to the ground floor and hurried to the coffee shop. As I rounded a corner, Hunter came into view sitting at a round table by himself. I quickly backed up back around the corner, waiting.