Blow

by Fall, Lucy

  I hear Cole chuckle, and I open my eyes to find him watching me, a smirk on his face. “I’ll have our server pass your compliments to the chef.”

  I finish chewing and swallow, then take a sip of soda, mulling over our experience today. “So, is that how you felt when—” I pause and shake my head. No, that’s a super stupid question.

  “What? What were you going to ask?” Cole tilts his head.

  “It was dumb, sorry.” I wave my hand and dig into another bite. I don’t want to see his face get shadowed again, or feel him pull away from me like he did the last time we talked about his service.

  “No, it wasn’t quite like that,” Cole says in a gentle voice, clearly guessing at what I was going to ask. My cheeks burn. “The fear over there was almost overwhelming at times, though we all did our best to push that aside and focus on our jobs. But when we got through a dangerous situation and it all came out okay in the end, that’s when that high would kick in, like ‘I did it—I made it through something that would have broken most everyone else.’ At that point, I felt like I could do anything. Climb a mountain and jump off the top. Or eat an entire cow.” The last words are said in a teasing tone.

  “Sorry. I have foot-in-mouthitis,” I say. “It was an insensitive thing to ask you. Of course the situations aren’t the same at all. I just… I don’t live in a world where I experience adrenaline rushes like that. Probably a good thing.”

  Cole reaches over and strokes my finger, one long, leisurely touch that sets my skin alight in goosebumps. I swallow and try to pretend like I don’t want him to kiss my face off. “You don’t have to be afraid to ask me anything. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. No question is dumb, kitten.”

  How do you feel about me? The question is right on the end of my tongue, and I struggle to not ask. Despite the courage I bolstered on the zipline, I’m still afraid. I know I don’t want to just be friends with him. I’m attracted to him. And I’m feeling something else too, that I can’t quite define yet. This…sweet, painful punch in my heart that makes me unable to stop thinking about Cole.

  Since he’s moved back, I’ve seen him in a whole new light. And I’m developing feelings for him. And I’m scared to death that all he wants is sex, and I’ll look like a total idiot asking him to explore dating.

  Maybe I need to go back on the zipline and ask after rushing along one of the ropes, right when I’m feeling my most courageous.

  “I can see you thinking hard,” he murmurs, the corner of his mouth crooking into a curl.

  “I’m just remembering about how much fun I had,” I say, a partial lie, partial truth.

  We eat our burgers and fries mostly in silence, a companionable space that comes from knowing someone over half your life. The questions won’t stop battering my brain, though.

  What would it be like to date Cole? Would he be open to the idea, or does he just want a friends-with-benefits situation? How does he feel about me? When will I find my nerve to ask him?

  I peek up at him through my lashes, watch the way his finger strokes the lip of his glass. How his gaze darts around the room, always aware, alert for danger. He’s definitely changed from the quiet, shy boy he used to be.

  This Cole is all sexy predator. A hunter.

  And damn if I don’t want him to hunt me.

  Steel resolve fills me. I can be brave; I need to be, if I’m going to get what I want. I’m going to ask him what he wants, tomorrow, right after I sort this shit out with my sister. Before I start anything with him, I need to fix things with her first, so he and I can have a fresh start without that weighing on me.

  I’ll tell Christina that my feelings for Cole are real, though fledgling and new, that I don’t know what’s going on with him yet but I need to be open with her. Emme’s earlier advice to me helps the nervous edges of my heart feel a bit soothed. Christina loves me. She forgave me, after all, for hurting her so very badly before. I owe her the respect of being honest.

  I sip my Coke and sigh, pat my belly. “This was a perfect day,” I tell him.

  His eyes warm as he looks at me, and my heart flips. The look on his face isn’t lust or desire. There’s something deeper there. Our old, true friendship, yes. But also a resonance that makes my lungs tighten and my hands shake a little.

  Wow, I think he might have romantic feelings for me too. And I think he’s letting me see it.

  “I’m so glad we got to spend today together,” Cole replies. The gravelly rumble of his voice washes over me, makes my lower pelvis ache. The mental images start fast and hard, him on top of me, thrusting into me. My breathing gets faster.

  His gaze narrows as he studies me, and his pupils get bigger. The left side of his jaw ticks. He knows I’m thinking about him sexually. And God help me, I want him to know, even though I just told myself I wasn’t going to start anything more with him until after I resolved the situation with my sister.

  You’re going to be talking to her tomorrow, I will myself to remember, to repeat. I can wait another day to be with Cole.

  The waiter comes over and gives us our bill, then he darts off to take another table’s order. I dig in my purse to get out my card.

  “No way,” Cole says. “Put that back. Dinner’s on me.”

  “You paid for ziplining,” I protest. “Dinner’s on me.” I reach out to grab the paper, and he yanks it away from me, grinning.

  Our server returns, and I thrust my card at the man before Cole can say anything, sticking out my tongue.

  “Shoulda been faster,” I say with a laugh.

  He rolls his eyes. “You’re a stubborn snot, kitten. I gotta keep my eye on you.”

  We leave the burger joint and head back to my place. His hand reaches over and his fingers intertwine with mine. It’s a friendship gesture, I tell myself. That’s all. We’ve held hands hundreds of times over the years. Hugged and even given kisses on cheeks and foreheads and crowns.

  But never before did I feel like my heart might burst out of my chest at the touch of his fingers wrapped in mine. Never before did I want to believe that Cole is harboring feelings for me we’ve never talked about, ever.

  That he wants to have sex with me. To hold me. To make me his.

  I want him. I know that now, and I don’t want to fight it off anymore. I think I’m ready to risk it and see what can happen, if he feels the same way too.

  One more day, I repeat quietly in my head. The words are getting harder to focus on, though. Because I don’t want to wait. I want to feel him right now.

  As we turn onto my street, the sun is sliding down the horizon, casting oranges, pinks, purples across the sky and coating the tops of springtime leaves on trees in color. It’s lovely.

  We pull into my driveway. I have a small bungalow, but it’s all mine, and I love the space.

  Cole turns to me, fingers still holding mine. “I had a great time today. Thank you again. There isn’t anyone else I would have wanted to share that with.”

  My heart screams at me to lean forward and kiss him. I fight the urge back and stay in my seat. “Me too,” I let myself admit. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to have been my first time doing that.”

  His thumb strokes over my skin, and my skin tingles. My core tightens. I want him, I want him, and I can smell him and God his skin smells so good, like sweat and man and a little bit of his cologne still lingering on the edges. The urge to lean forward and breathe him in hits me so hard I find my body wavering toward him for a second.

  Shit.

  Cole’s eyes get hooded and his lips part. I can tell he’s thinking about me, and I find my core clenching tighter. “Is this the part where we say goodnight and I go home, kitten?” A challenge. I hear it in his voice. A challenge and an out at the same time. He’s putting this all on my lap.

  I should take the out. I spent the day with him, and we had a wonderful time together. That hum of sexual tension was there, of course, but we focused instead of being in each other’s company, and I loved it.


  Now…the air is still and quiet between us, and Cole’s looking at me, waiting for my answer. Tomorrow, I tell myself about fifty times in a rush. But I open my mouth and find myself saying, “Come inside.”

  Once we’re in, the clothes come flying off. The place is dark, us not even bothering to put on the lights. We strip and come together, our bodies hot, and I want him to touch me everywhere. I run my hands along his strong hips, caress the muscles of his thighs. God, he’s so damn sexy, it’s almost too much for me to handle.

  Cole’s hand reaches up and cups my breast, his thumb teasing the tip to a hard point. “I want you,” he whispers against my throat. His tongue slicks along the skin, along my collarbone, and I sigh and lean into him.

  I move one palm to cup his hard dick, and it jumps in response. “I want you too. Let’s go upstairs.”

  I grab our belongings, and we move up the narrow staircase, my heart throbbing, my legs shaky, him right behind me. When we reach the top, the stairs opening up to my dormer bedroom, his hand reaches out to stroke the wetness between my thighs, and I drop the clothes.

  He brings his hand to his mouth, licks the tip of his fingers. “I can’t get enough of your taste. I fantasize about it at night sometimes.”

  God, the things he says to me. They drive me wild. I can scarcely draw breath. No man has ever spoken like that to me before. Has ever just flat-out told me how much he wants me. It’s heady.

  I take his hand and lead him to the bed. His skin is burning to the touch, his grip tight. We fall on top of the covers together, and our legs intertwine as our mouths find each other’s.

  He grips the base of my skull and slants my head so he can kiss me deeper, and his tongue sweeps in my mouth, making me ache all over. I clutch his upper arms, unable to do more than hang on against the onslaught. Cole is thoroughly owning me, taking what he wants, and I don’t want to stop him. At all. The friction of his torso against my nipples makes them ache, and I moan into his mouth. I know it isn’t possible, but I need that mouth all over me at the same time.

  He rips away from my lips and then lunges for my breast, pulling the tip between his teeth and biting down just enough to send a small flash of pleasurable pain through me. Then his tongue laves over the tender nub, his other hand reaching between my thighs to unerringly find my clit and flick it.

  My pussy is pulsing so hard I squirm. Everything in my body is on fire, every nerve needing his touch. I stroke his hard cock again, savoring the feel of the flesh pulsing in my grip, and he groans against my breast.

  “Lauren,” he says on a low moan, capturing my mouth in another hard kiss. “You drive me insane.” His hands are coated with my cream, and he slides his fingers down into my pussy, thrusting deep.

  I jerk in reflex, arching, and cry out. Yes, God, yes, this is what I want. Almost…almost…

  The coveted tightness in my core starts to build, and I gasp, press my mouth to his throat, lick him, bite the skin there. We both keep moving our hands at a furious pace, masturbating each other, our breathing harsh, our bodies growing stiffer. I’m so freaking close to coming. Then he pulls his fingers out of me and slides them down more.

  I freeze. “What are you…” His finger swirls along my puckered hole, and my pulse jumps in my throat.

  When he looks up at me, I can see through the twilight sky spilling into the window above my bed that his dark eyes are molten. “Relax,” he tells me. Draws my other nipple into his mouth and sucks, licks. That devilish finger is pressing right at the back entrance.

  I close my eyes and give in to the feeling. Relax, as he commanded me to. His wet finger breaches the hole and it hurts a little at first, but after a minute or two of gentle teasing, I find myself ready for more.

  Cole reads me so well. Another finger slides inside my ass, strokes in and out, and a delicious sensation curls in my lower belly, throbs my clit. I arch to push my breast in his mouth more, my hand tight on his cock.

  “I’m…” I gasp, my fingers spasming around him as I get right there to the edge again.

  Cole withdraws the fingers from my ass then slams them in again. Again. It hurts and I love it, and I open my thighs wider to let him finger-fuck me there. “Come for me,” he says as his mouth works down my belly toward my clit. He gives one hard swipe of his tongue along the button.

  And that does it. I tense, on the edge for one perfect moment, knowing I’m about to fall harder than I ever have before and anticipating it more than anything in the world.

  Then the wave hits me and I scream, body tight and clenched, the orgasm in my ass, my pussy, my clit, my breasts, my lungs, my heart—every part of me on fire. My thighs shake as the surge flies over me, my skin tingling and hot, my breasts swollen.

  It takes a good long minute for my body to start unwinding, to soften and relax. He eases his fingers out of my ass, which reflexively spasms upon the withdrawal. I swallow at the sudden ache down there, settling in now, and give a soft sigh.

  Cole slides back up my side and presses a kiss to my damp brow. “That was beautiful. Fucking beautiful. I’m going to clean up for a sec and then I’ll be back. Don’t you fucking move.”

  Not sure I could. I give him a weak smile, and he hustles off to the en suite bathroom in my room. I hear the water running, then stop, and then he’s back at my side.

  “Do you have condoms?” he’s asking me, his mouth along the shell of my ear, the warmth of his body pouring against my arm, and I feel my pussy stir.

  I nod. “Bedside drawer.” Not that I’ve had much use for them before now, but I keep them updated regularly for situations that warrant it.

  Sounds like this is going to be one of those.

  While he shifts up to reach into my bedside drawer, I reach over and leisurely stroke his cock. It jumps in my hand, still hard, the steel beneath straining under the silky skin. I shift down and take it into my mouth, lick the fat head, tongue the vein running underneath.

  His fingers are gripping my hair, and suddenly he’s straddling my chest, pumping into my mouth. “God, you’re going to kill me,” he’s groaning. I suck him deeper, hollowing out my cheeks to draw him in, and I taste pre-come coating my tongue.

  Cole looks down at me, between his thighs, his eyes intense and filled with something I can’t identify. “Lauren, I…” He thins his lips then withdraws himself from my mouth. His face is so serious I can’t help but wonder if something is wrong. My heart lurches.

  “What is it?”

  Cole rolls on the condom, slides down my body, and, with a fluid movement of pushing my thighs up and settling himself between my legs, he enters me. I gasp, our breaths mingling, our mouths inches from each other.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he tells me in a strangely vulnerable voice, pulling out then thrusting again. My channel clenches involuntarily around him. He’s resting on his forearms above me, and I angle myself to take him deeper. The head of his dick is stroking my G-spot, building that familiar warmth in me again. I came so hard before that I didn’t think this was possible.

  I reach up with trembling fingers and cup his cheek, allow myself to really touch him. The high cheekbone, the dip underneath, the line of his jaw, his chin, his lower lip. Memorizing the way he feels to my fingers.

  Cole thrusts into me, our grunts pouring into each other’s mouths. This isn’t fucking. There’s some kind of line between us right now that is small, almost invisible, but connected to our chests and tugging us closer. I feel it, in the way we can’t stop staring at each other. Like we’re really seeing each other for the first time, despite our rich history.

  Cole is beautiful. And he’s sexy, yes, but despite his new looks and swagger, I still see the boy, the teen, the guy my heart has always been connected to. No one knows me the way he does. No one has been able to see me right to the bone, to the soul. And right now, he’s opened himself up and let me see him too.

  My eyes start to burn a little and I blink it back. But the emotion swelling in
my chest won’t be denied.

  Cole’s body tenses over mine as his orgasm builds. Watching the pleasure and arousal flicker across his face, the way he dips to kiss me, his fingers stroking my hair…it’s pushing my own orgasm too. He rocks his pelvis against mine, his cock rubbing my inner walls.

  “I want you to come,” I whisper. I touch his sweat-slicked back, reach down and grip his ass. “Please. I need it.”

  “Anything for you, kitten,” he replies, and my heart catches on the tenderness in his eyes, his voice. He thrusts harder, his muscles tight, and I grip his sides with my knees and will him to spill into me.

  My own second orgasm hits me out of nowhere, and I suck in a startled breath then moan low, shivering as my core explodes. I squeeze him so tight he can barely withdraw, and he yells, “Fuck, Lauren, yes!” and then stiffens over me. Our eyes are still locked on each other’s.

  It might sound corny, but in that moment, I really feel like we are one person, as deep inside each other as possible. That invisible string connecting us grows a little thicker.

  Cole exhales hard, then withdraws from inside me. I shiver at the sudden cool air hitting my bare skin. While he disposes of the condom, I tug the blanket down and hop under.

  Strangely, I’m more vulnerable now than I was when he was balls deep inside me. I feel like something changed between us while we had sex, and it’s hard to not want to run away, to give myself time to sort it out…and maybe protect my heart in the process. But I fight that urge. The bigger part of me wants to hold him in my arms and feel him fall asleep against me.

  Cole slides in beside me. We don’t say a word. Our bodies mold to each other’s, and our eyes drift closed, and I’m pulled into a heavy, satisfying sleep.

  * * *

  I blink the sleep from my eyes. Cole, still deep in slumber, has his arm draped possessively over me, the blanket pushed down to show his beautiful bare chest. Late morning sunlight is dappling across his skin, which glows with a nice tan. He’s fast asleep.