by Kirby Howell
I finally got there, and just as soon wished I hadn’t. Canned food was scattered on the floor around the feet of an unconscious boy, whose torso was bleeding badly. The sobbing woman knelt over him. A man with shaggy auburn hair, whose freckles showed even through the dirt on his face, stood over her trying to pull her away, while at the same time, keeping others back. I stared at the hurt boy on the floor. He was about my age and handsome, even though his face was a deathly shade of white against his brown hair. My heart sank into my stomach, and I dug my fingernails into my healing palms. As I watched, I couldn’t help but wonder if I might be witnessing the death of the boy I’d spent months dreaming about.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Everyone stand back.” A voice crashed against me like a cold ocean swell. That was the voice, his voice.
Everyone pushed back to make room for a boy carrying a stretcher. I stared at him as he prepared to move the injured boy onto the board. My first thought was simply that he was beautiful. He had short, blonde hair and a dirty, but perfectly sculpted face. It was his eyes, though, that captured and held my attention. They were so blue, like aqua crystals, and they had a luminance I’d never seen before, making his face seem to glow even though it was coated in a thin layer of dust and dirt. I was suddenly thankful I hadn’t known what he looked like that first night. I probably would have been too shy to even speak.
I noticed Lydia helping him and realized that of course they would know each other; they both had medical training. Seeing him work next to the elegant Lydia, I felt every speck of dirt clinging to me like a barnacle on a pier. All too soon, they had the boy secured on the stretcher and disappeared with him into the curtained area, which I realized was the medical area. I was surprised when I felt a moment of panic as he disappeared.
“Everyone! Hello... Let’s calm down folks.” The crowd turned toward Todd, who towered above everyone near the door. The room quieted except for the crying woman. Her sobs echoed around the supply room. A red haired man led her near the collapsed wall and found her a place to sit on a wooden crate, which seemed to help. She didn’t take her eyes off the curtain to the medical area, though.
Todd continued, “Let’s give our medical people a little time to work their magic. I know we’re all worried about Shad. I was told he was injured protecting the crawlspace from The Front’s scouts. We all owe him a debt of gratitude.” Todd paused and offered a smile to the woman, who was now trying to collect herself. He continued. “Recovered rations weren’t quite as plentiful as we’d hoped for, so we’re going to have to cut back again...”
The crowd began to grumble, but Todd’s booming voice drowned them out. “We’ll make it work. We always do. There’s going to have to be another supply run ahead of schedule, though. We’ll have to start sending two groups at a time from now on to cover more area, at least until we find a new place to live.”
That got even more grumbles and questions. Todd kept his voice level and reassuring. “We’re all doing the best we can. We’ll take this one step at a time. Having said that, if you’re not here to help with inventory, then I suggest you clear out.”
Slowly, people turned and started to file out. I heard a few mumbled comments about the supplies on the ground. One man was particularly excited to see a Snickers bar poking out of one of the bags, but most of the people wondered about Shad and just how close The Front had come to discovering us. They were already calling him a hero. I thought they were probably right.
I hung back as long as I could, hoping to get one more glimpse of the handsome blonde boy before I left, but it never came. I was ushered out of the room along with the rest of the crowd.
I walked quietly back to my room and sat in the darkness for a few minutes. Then I heard sniffling and peeked into the hall. There was a larger room adjacent to mine that I knew held three small mattresses like my own. I had only made my way to the edge of the doorway when she spotted me. It was the woman who was upset over the injured boy.
She quickly blotted her eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry! Did I wake you?” She was very pretty with her light blonde hair pulled back into a short ponytail. I guessed her to be in her late twenties. She seemed truly distressed by the idea that she might have been keeping me awake.
“No, no,” I reassured her. “I... just thought you might like some company?” It was lame, but it was all I could think to say in the moment. But to my surprise, she smiled gratefully at me.
“That would be nice, thank you. Please have a seat.” She gestured at the mattress next to her, and I sat down. “So you’re the new girl.”
I nodded and introduced myself. “I’m Connie,” she replied, tucking some blonde wisps behind her ears as she studied me. “Todd said you’ve been on your own since it happened.”
She looked so concerned, I felt the need to reassure her. “I was only alone for the first two and a half months, then I met Ben and Rissi. Ben’s my age and his sister, Rissi, is seven... well, almost eight,” I corrected, recalling her birthday was soon. Remembering that fact made me more anxious about getting a chance to talk to the boy from the alley. He might be able to help me find a way out of here.
“They were living in the office of the building I was living in. Ben was out looking for supplies when I discovered Rissi hiding in an air vent in the wall,” I chuckled at the memory. “You should have seen her stuffed in there with her fairy wings. I was so glad to find them.”
“Two and a half months,” she repeated. “You must have been so scared. How old are you?”
“Seventeen.” The number felt foreign on my tongue, as if my aging had ceased to exist along with the rest of society.
“Wow, seventeen. I remember seventeen. Seems like a long time ago.”
It struck me as odd that she made herself sound so old. “You’re not much older than me.”
That really brought her a smile. “Twenty-nine.” Her tears had stopped, and she brushed away the last of the moisture on her high cheekbone. “Would you believe I used to be a mother of three?” She raised her eyebrows and continued, “Three boys, all under the age of seven. I had one of those double strollers. It even had a cup holder for my Starbucks. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a caramel macchiato.” She chuckled and then sighed. “I miss my boys so much. Dallas, Kent and Critter.”
“Critter!” I exclaimed.
“Well, Christopher. Critter was his nickname. He loved bugs. He was always bringing something home in his pocket from the park.” She shuddered and laughed sadly.
“Wow, you must have been like supermom or something. I once volunteered in a daycare, and by the end of the day, I knew I’d never have more than one.” We shared a laugh together.
“I never thought I’d have so many, honestly. In my early twenties, a doctor told me and my husband, Ray, we’d never have children. Then, a couple years later, I was pregnant with twins!”
“Wow. That had to be a shock.”
“It was, and then two years later I was pregnant again.” She reflected a moment, no doubt remembering her family. Then her tone changed. “I lost them all on the second day of The Plague. I still don’t understand.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I remained silent, reminded of my own first month.
She continued, “Then I met Shad. He broke into my house looking for food and supplies. He was shocked to find someone else alive. I was shocked, too, so shocked I nearly gave him a concussion with one of Ray’s golf clubs. He’d lost his mom and four sisters. He never seemed to mind me playing mother to him. He’d been so used to living with women, I guess, with his mom and sisters. We lived for a little while with another group, but they were very disorganized. Then Todd found us, and we came here together shortly after that. I don’t know how I’d have gotten through without Shad.”
“So, are there a lot of groups out there like this one, then?” I had suspected there were others around who hadn’t joined The Front, but never had any real evidence.
“Oh, several. None as big as this, th
ough. At least, none I’m aware of. I know the people Shad and I were with were evenly split. Some of them were tired of hiding from The Front and were planning on joining up. The rest of us were holding out hope it wouldn’t come to that. And then we met Todd. Thank God. I think he might have saved mine and Shad’s lives when he came along.”
This time the pause was longer, but I let the silence linger, suspecting she hadn’t quite finished. Finally, she stared at her hands and said, “When I saw Shad lying there, covered in blood, next to death... it was like seeing my children dying all over again.”
“He’ll be okay. The doctors will take good care of him.”
Connie nodded. “Oh yes, Grey and Lydia are amazing.”
My heart skipped a beat. Was that his name? Grey? Something clicked into place. He’d given me his name all along. He hadn’t been referring to a gray metro line in his note. I suddenly felt silly for not realizing it sooner.
She smiled. “Him and his girlfriend have been so good to all of us.”
I felt like I’d just been punched in the gut. His girlfriend? Could she really mean Lydia? I thought back on the moment when I’d first met her, trying to picture her more clearly in my mind. She was a stunning girl. Black hair, at least two years older than myself, taller and by far more filled out. I cringed inwardly. There was no world in which I could compete with her.
I felt a pang of shame for allowing myself to dwell on my feelings for this mysterious boy. I had so many more important things to focus on, the main thing being to find a way out of this school basement. I had to get back to Ben and Rissi, no matter what. I took a deep breath and tried to put Grey out of my mind. It helped, but only a little.
“I wonder how much longer they’ll be?” Connie said with a sigh. All I could do was reach out and hold her hand. We sat in silence for a while.
Though she was anxious in waiting for news of Shad, I still felt maternal vibes flowing from her. I closed my eyes, and I could have sworn I smelled my mother’s flowery perfume.
I was broken out of my reverie when she said, “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve seen you before. You’re so familiar.”
I smiled. I used to get that a lot.
“Have you ever been to Bakersfield?” she asked.
“You’re probably thinking of my mother.” I smiled.
“Is she from Bakersfield?” she asked.
I laughed. My mother was such a city girl. The thought of her going anywhere with a population under a few million always tickled me.
“No. She was an actress.” Her eyes lit up, as most people’s did when they realized who I was. “You’re Adara O’Neal’s daughter!” I smiled, my mother’s name like a soft blanket to my ears. I thought how lucky I was to have other people remember my beloved mother’s legacy. Most weren’t nearly that lucky.
She continued, “I love her movies. She’s absolutely captivating. Her speech at the Oscars a few years ago, when she talked about you and her mother and you were both sitting there in the front row... I cried!” Connie’s blue eyes glistened with fresh tears, and she laughed, fanning them with her hand.
I smiled at the memory. I was twelve, and what stuck out the most about that night wasn’t my sparkly dress, or my mother’s award, but the Shirley Temples at the after party, and how the bartender had given me extra cherries.
I looked at Connie, still laughing at herself. Even through her worry and grief over Shad’s injuries, she was so full of joy. I saw it in her eyes. She reminded me of my mother, and I could see why Shad had taken to her. Suddenly, I started to feel her anxiety over him.
“If you wanted, I could stay here tonight. So you don’t have to be alone?” I said. A tear escaped between her fingertips and slid down her face. “I wouldn’t sleep in Shad’s bed, of course. He’ll need it when Grey is done with him, but maybe I could stay in the spare bed?” I hoped she’d pick up on my positive spin.
She nodded happily. “That would be nice. Maybe you can tell me what it was like to grow up with a movie star mother. I love to hear about that stuff... if you don’t mind, that is.”
I laughed and agreed. Connie and I talked for hours. With the absence of sunlight, it was difficult to get a good sense of the time of day. It felt early, but the hall lights were still dimmed to indicate nighttime by the time we both fell asleep.
The sound of the door opening woke me. I was curled into a fetal position on the mattress closest to Connie. When I finally gained enough consciousness to realize who our guest was, I was instantly mortified. It was Grey. And I was a mess.
“Good morning, Autumn. I’m glad to see you here,” he said very quietly, his crystal blue eyes watching me intently and a half-smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
His voice echoed in my ears and ran down my spine. It was even richer than I’d remembered. I loved the way it felt as it reverberated inside me. Then I realized I hadn’t answered him yet, and there was a pause that was now bordering on awkward.
“Hi,” I managed. “Grey, is it?”
He smiled warmly. “Yes. Grey Alexander.” He crept further into the room and knelt next to my mattress, glancing at Connie. “Have you been keeping Connie company all night?”
I nodded.
“That was very kind of you,” he said with a warm smile. “She and Shad are very close. I’m sure this has been hard for her.” He glanced at Connie’s sleeping form again, a worried expression on his face. While he was looking away, I let my eyes wander over him, memorizing details. His gray t-shirt and jeans were clean, and he’d washed his face, though I could still see traces of dirt on the back of his neck. My eyes fixed on his shoes: Jack Purcells, just like Sarah wore, except his were black. I already felt like I knew him better than anyone down here.
He looked back at me, and I whipped my head up, hoping he hadn’t caught me looking.
“Do you think she’d mind if I woke her up to tell her about Shad?”
My stomach, which was already in knots from talking to Grey, seemed to get even tighter, making me feel sick. “Did he make it?” I stumbled over the words, scared of the answer.
He smiled and said, “He did. He’ll make a full recovery over the next month. He was very lucky.” I felt my smile wobble. I was so relieved, and yet I felt again the weight of anxiety and the exhaustion that went with it. I didn’t want Grey to see me break, so I put my head in my hands. After all I’d learned about Shad the night before, I was so glad he’d made it, that Connie would have him back.
“Have I upset you?” He seemed confused at my reaction.
I couldn’t yet bring myself to look at him. I didn’t want him to see me blubbering like an idiot. My head was still in my hands, and I shook it from side to side, and managed to say, “No.” I felt his warm hand on my back, and tingles bloomed over my skin.
“Oh, God,” whispered a voice from behind me.
I looked up. Connie was awake and stared at us in terror. I realized how the situation must have looked to her: me in tears, Grey consoling me. She thought Shad was dead.
“Connie, no. Shad’s okay. He made it.” I smiled, and she quickly sat up. Shoving her blanket away, she got to her knees beside us and took Grey in a firm hug. She wept on his shoulder, holding him tightly. If he was uncomfortable by our emotional responses, he hid it well.
Grey patted Connie’s back and said, “He’s resting now, but you’re welcome to go sit with him until he wakes.”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll do that.” She wiped her eyes, composing herself and turned to me. “Autumn, that was a very selfless thing you did for me last night. Thank you so very much. Will I see you later?”
I smiled. “Of course. Go on.” She hugged us both again, and then Grey and I were alone. He lingered by the doorway, as if unsure to leave or not.
“How did you recognize me?” I blurted, in an attempt to stretch out our time together.
“Excuse me?” he said in his smooth, quiet voice.
“It was so dark when we first met. How did you k
now it was me when you saw me a few minutes ago?”
He raised his eyebrows and said, “It wasn’t dark in your apartment where I left you.”
Duh, I thought and chided myself for not realizing that simple fact. Though I still couldn’t help but wonder why he’d never returned for me.
Then as if he could read my thoughts, he said, “I’m sorry if you thought I forgot about coming to get you. I didn’t.” Grey searched my face with his clear, bright eyes.
I stopped breathing for a moment and then managed to say, “Why didn’t you come?”
He frowned and looked at the floor. “Well, I checked on you a few times, and you seemed to be just fine. That is, your building seemed secure,” he finished and scratched his forehead, temporarily hiding his face.
“You checked on me? A few times?” A flush crept up my cheeks. “You could have said hello, you know! If anything to prove to Ben and Rissi you weren’t a figment of my imagination!” The words gushed out of me, and I felt as though I’d been hit in the stomach. “One day, I actually thought I saw you standing in my kitchen.” I chanced a quick look at him to watch for any kind of reaction, but there was nothing. I wanted him to tell me he was there, and that I hadn’t been seeing things. As bad as the thought of him being there unannounced was, it was still better than thinking I was going crazy.
“I wanted to see you, but I was afraid you’d insist on coming with me. And you all were safer at The Water Tower than you are here. The Front didn’t know you were there. Was it just you three in hiding?”
“Yes. Me, a seventeen-year-old boy and his little sister. They’ve been great company, but...” I mumbled, “You still could have said hello.” I wondered what was worse? The fact that he’d checked on me without wanting me to see him? Or that he’d been so close so many times when just a peek of him would have sustained me for a month?
His eyebrows pinched together above his nose, and he perched himself on the empty mattress across from me. “I’m sorry.” He sounded truly apologetic, and I shifted uncomfortably under his steady gaze. A smile played on the corners of his mouth. “So, how did you know it was me?”