“I’m not glum. You said Ash doesn’t play for keeps, so why should I go out of my way to see him again?”
“Going to the caroling with him—I mean, with both of us—is hardly going out of your way to see him. It’s a simple casual outing. If you don’t care and he doesn’t care, what difference does it make?”
“What if he’s asking me out—I mean, what if he’s asking us out—in that way? What if he wants something more?”
“He doesn’t. Trust me. He wants something to do, and I do, too. Come on. We’re going. I’m making a command decision, and we’re not spending December 23rd sitting around here watching TV.”
Marlee couldn’t help but smile at him. “You’re really taking this dominant male business seriously, aren’t you? All right. We can go.”
“Just don’t jump Ash’s bones right there in Times Square, okay?”
At that moment, Colton’s phone beeped. He dug it out of his pocket and checked the screen. “Crap.”
“What’s wrong?”
He swung his legs over the couch. “Can the caroling. I gotta go.”
Marlee sat up. “You gotta go! Where?”
“I have to go down to the docks. The shipping crews didn’t get the memo about the new regulations. They’re up in arms, and the city won’t let them land their cargo if they don’t comply. I have to rush down there to sort it out. I’ll be back in a little while, and then I’ll take you out on the town. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
Marlee sat down again. “That’s okay. I didn’t want to go to the caroling anyway. Take all the time you want. I’ll have dinner on the table when you get back.”
He threw his coat around his shoulders and stuck on a hat. “Don’t go all Martha Stewart on me, or I won’t know what to think.”
He raced out of the apartment and left her alone. She finished arranging all the presents under the tree. She cleaned up the room and folded the blankets on the couch where she usually slept. She was just about to click on the TV to wait for him to come back when she had a brilliant idea. Now would be the perfect time to sneak out and buy him a present.
She snatched her jacket and boots and headed along the winding pathways to the front entrance garden. She laced up her boots and wrapped her scarf around her neck when the doorbell chimed.
She hadn’t heard that sound before. She didn’t recognize it, but it came from the direction of the front door, so she guessed that’s what it was. She opened it and frowned. There stood Ash, all wrapped up in his winter garb.
His face twisted into a grin. “Don’t look so happy to see me.”
“I’m happy to see you, but I was just going out. I can’t stick around to chat.”
“Good. Then you can come out to the caroling with me.”
She waved her hand and closed the door behind her. He followed her on the way to the elevator. “I don’t have time. I have to buy Colton a present before he gets back.”
Ash looked around. “Where is he?”
“He went to the docks to sort out some disagreement about the new regulations. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”
“That’s okay. I’ll come with you. I can help you decide what to get him.” He stepped into the elevator with her.
“That’s all right. I’d rather go alone.”
Ash faced her inside the car. “Are you trying to avoid me?”
Marlee’s shoulders slumped. “I’m not trying to avoid you. I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea. We had a nice time the other night. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“I’m not getting the wrong idea. I’m asking you to go and see the Christmas carols with me. What’s so complicated about that?”
“What comes after that? Are you going to ask me out to dinner again?”
“What if I did?”
She shook her head. “Don’t start that. You know this isn’t a good idea.”
“Come on, Marlee. Just come out and listen to the carols. Then we’ll pick up a present for Colton, and that will be the end of the story.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Do you promise?”
He held up his hand. “If that’s what you want, I swear, I won’t ask again.”
She brightened up. “All right. Just this once.”
The elevator wooshed open, and he escorted her out of the building. He didn’t have a limo waiting, thank the Lord. He called a cab like any regular Joe. Marlee got in, but she stiffened at the thought of what they did the last time they rode in a cab.
She didn’t want to admit it to herself, and she didn’t want to admit to Colton how she felt about her date with Ash for sure. He blew her out of the water with the best sex of her life. She didn’t want to see him for fear she would get caught caring about him when she didn’t want to.
She kept her eyes turned forward. Lights and decorations crowded every square inch of the city. People rushed here and there to buy last-minute presents. Ash stared straight ahead, too. Neither made any attempt to talk.
The cab skidded up to the curb, and Ash got out. He held the door open for Marlee. She stood on the sidewalk while he paid the fare. He rounded on her with his face set. “Are you ready to go?”
She nodded, and they set off down the street. Faint music wafted through the air. He kept a polite distance. He didn’t try to touch her or even hold her hand. You could cut the tension with a knife. What in the sam hill did she agree to this disaster for? She should have given him a definite no and gone out alone to hunt for Colton’s present. Now she was saddled with this elephant.
Hundreds of people crowded the streets long before they got anywhere near the carolers. Ash kept working his way farther and farther into the throng. Once, Marlee fell behind. He cast a glance over his shoulder to see if she was still there, but when he didn’t see her right behind him, he turned around and took her hand.
She didn’t balk. She let him guide her through the packed bodies. How he got through, she never understood. He wormed his way farther and farther forward until he got right in front of the stage.
The voices rose and fell in harmonic strains. They sent tingles down Marlee’s spine, and she started to relax into the moment. The glorious holiday cheer, the delirious happiness of Christmas mingled in the air. People rocked and swayed and sang along with the music until Marlee couldn’t help but join in.
She heard a deep male voice adding to the chorus, and she turned to see Ash singing, too. He smiled at her, and she squeezed his hand. She had him to thank for this moment. She regretting coming with him. She shouldn.’t have avoided him in the first place.
The longer the choir sang, the closer she felt to him. They could enjoy Christmas together. That didn’t mean they would ever take this thing any further. She would go home to California, and he would become a nice memory.
She hugged his arm. He shook her off to drape his arm over her shoulders. He held her close, and his voice vibrated through her. He was a nice guy, a hot guy, a smart and successful guy. She was glad she shared a night of passion with him. He knew how to do it right.
When the music ended, it took a long time to get out of the crowd. They stayed locked together while the people around them dispersed. When enough space opened up for them to walk away, Ash took her hand. “So where do you want to go first to look for Colton’s present?”
They strolled down the street. Marlee surveyed the windows. “I’m not sure. I don’t know what to buy him. I’m sure he has everything he wants.”
“That’s why you shouldn’t get him anything he could buy for himself.”
“That doesn’t leave much.”
“Well, we can rule out clothes, jewelry, watches, cars....”
Marlee snorted. “Like I could afford to buy him a car. Besides, where would he park it?”
“He wouldn’t. If he wants a car, he can get that for himself. Can you think of anything he liked when he was a kid?”
Marlee’s eyes popped open. “I know! I’ll buy him a kite. He used to love flyi
ng his kite. I’m sure he hasn’t flown one in years.”
Ash laughed. “I’m sure he hasn’t, and I’m sure he doesn’t own one now.”
Marlee set off. “That’s perfect. Thanks. I would never have thought of that on my own.”
“Good. I’m glad to help.”
Her face fell. “So where do we get one?”
“We can go to Toys R’ Us. They’ll have one.”
Once again, they set off, this time hand in hand. All the tension melted away.
“What are you giving Colton?” she asked.
“Nothing. Colton and I don’t give each other birthday or Christmas gifts. We never have.”
Marlee gasped. “Why not? I thought you two were best friends.”
“We are. We have been for years. I suppose that’s why we don’t give each other presents. We give each other the gift of our friendship. That’s enough.”
Marlee shook her head. “That’s too bad.”
“Not at all. It’s wonderful. Did he get mad at you for going out with me the other night?”
Marlee cast a glance at him, but she couldn’t divine anything from his expression. “No, he didn’t get mad. But he got more mad at me for trying to avoid you afterward.”
“So why did you?”
Marlee cringed. She should have known she couldn’t get out of discussing this with him. Well, the sooner she got her cards out on the table, the better off everybody would be. “He said you were a player, that you changed women faster than your underwear—all that sort of thing. That was just fine with me. We had a fling. The end.”
He stole a peek at her. “Is that what you think?”
“Isn’t that the way it is? I thought that’s what you wanted, and I’m the same way. You don’t want to get involved with anybody, and neither do I.”
“What makes you think I don’t want to get involved?”
Marlee yanked her hand out of his grasp. “If you want to get involved, that’s all the more reason I don’t want to be anywhere near you. We had a good time. That’s all. That’s all it’s ever going to be. We’re not getting involved.”
“Yeah. We had a nice time, so who says we can’t keep having a nice time?”
She threw up her hands. “Now you’re starting to sound like my mother. Colton said you were the most notorious bad boy on Broadway. I probably wouldn’t have had anything to do with you if I thought for two seconds you would turn this into some kind of relationship.”
“What’s wrong with a relationship?”
“Why do you keep asking those idiotic questions? I don’t want to get involved with you. I don’t want to get involved with anybody. I’m going home after New Years, and we’ll never see each other again. That’s what’s wrong with a relationship. If you want a relationship, why don’t you pick one of those women you change faster than your underwear? I’m sure one of them would love to bag you.”
He turned away and started walking. “I’m sure they would.”
She caught up with him. “Don’t get all down in the mouth about this. It was just sex. That’s all.”
“To you, it was just sex.”
“So what was it to you?”
He stopped walking to confront her. “Look, Marlee. No one has ever picked me up the way you did. No one has dragged me back to my house and fucked me silly the way you did. I was sure you had to have felt how I did that night about you. But you just dumped me in the morning. I...I don’t know what to think. What am I supposed to think?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing to all these women?”
He turned bright red. “I guess it has. I never really thought about it. Colton tried to tell me more than once that’s why they always got their feelings hurt when I didn’t want to continue anything with them.”
“Well, there you go. Now you know what it feels like. I never planned to get involved with you. I wanted to jump you, and I did. We had great sex, and now it’s over. Can you get that through your head?”
“I don’t see how I can. You’re the most perfect woman I can imagine. You’re smart and funny, and you’ve got a body to die for. If I were going to get involved with someone, it would be you.”
“No, it wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t get involved with you.”
He fixed his smoldering eyes on her face. Faster than lightning, he grabbed hold of her. His arms strapped around her, and he planted his lips on her mouth. In seconds, he was kissing her harder and deeper than anything she could remember in her life. His tongue slithered into her mouth and quickened her desire all over again.
He hooked one muscled hand under her thigh and pulled it against his waist. He shoved her back against the wall and jammed his hips between her legs. He pulverized her crotch with his hard-on while his tongue tickled her insides to dripping passion.
He moved so fast she couldn’t stop herself. Before she knew what she was doing, she responded to him. Her tongue met his, and her hips arched forward to meet him. She moaned into his mouth, and a squirt of hot juice saturated her panties.
That fast, he pulled away again. He locked his eyes on her panting face. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel something for me. You couldn’t kiss me like that if you did. You want this. You want this just as much as I do.”
Her leg dropped to the ground. She stepped back, but she couldn’t get away from the aching need between her legs. She wanted it, all right. She wanted it now, more than ever. She wiped the saliva from her mouth, but she couldn’t think of one intelligent thing to say. Her face burned with pent-up desire. Would he ever release it again? Why, oh why, didn’t she let herself receive it from him?
He straightened his jacket and took his place at her side. “Aren’t you even a little bit curious what it would be like if we took this a little bit further?”
She shook herself awake. She couldn’t let him get the better of her with one little kiss. “A little bit further? You don’t want to take it a little bit further. A little bit further would be more sex like we had the other night. You don’t want that. You want to get involved. You want a relationship. Admit it.”
He held up both hands. “All right. I’ll admit it. I do want all that. I want that and a lot more. I never felt this way about anybody. I want to keep on going with you and never stop.”
“Well, I don’t. I’m a free agent. I want to come and go as I please. I want to have a good time in New York and then go home to California where I belong. I thought you were a free agent, too. You’re supposed to be some sex king. You’re just nailing me and kissing me goodbye. You’re not marrying me.”
His face contorted in agony, and he spun away to hide from her. Marlee stared at his back disappearing into the sea of passers-by. She didn’t just see that twist of pain on his face when she said those words. She couldn’t.
He kept walking. He didn’t turn around. Holy God! It was true! She hurried after him. She caught up enough to walk at his side, and when she glanced at his face, she saw his features set in a firm mask of determination.
She murmured low. She didn’t want to hear those words coming out of her mouth again. “You don’t want to marry me, do you?”
He didn’t even look at her. He clenched his jaw.
Now she was certain. “You want to marry me.”
Marlee’s mind whirled. What in the name of heaven was she going to do now? She couldn’t marry Ash. She couldn’t even think of him that way. She stopped dead in her tracks and let him walk away. That was the kindest thing she could do. Let him walk on out of her life. Let him nurse his broken heart and never see him again.
Chapter 8
Marlee waited until Ash vanished altogether into the crowd. She let out a shaky breath. She had to get out of here before he came back. She asked directions to Toys R’ Us and bought the best kite she could afford. It was a high-speed racing kite with two handles for turning it in the air. It flashed bright red and blue in the package. Colton would love it.
She paused near the front door. She scanne
d the sidewalk outside, but when she saw no sign of Ash in either direction, she hustled out and hailed a cab. She hurried back to Colton’s apartment and wrapped the kite as fast as she could. She hid it near the back behind the other presents where he wouldn’t see it until Christmas morning.
She got settled into the couch to wait for Colton to come back. To hell with Ash! She would stay indoors for the rest of her vacation if it meant not seeing him again. If he were going to pull something like this, she would sacrifice anything to avoid getting mixed up with him.
Colton took a lot longer getting back than she expected. She made dinner and put it out on the table in the kitchen, but he still didn’t come. She went back to his living room and watched the news on TV. He didn’t get back until dark.
She heard his footsteps ringing down the hall. He blew into the living room and flopped onto the couch. He tossed his phone on the coffee table and propped up his feet. “Jesus! What a cluster fuck! You wouldn’t believe the state of things down at the docks.”
Marlee smiled. “Did you get it all worked out? Is everyone playing nice for Christmas now?”
He rolled his eyes. “They better, ‘cuz it costs them $10,000 every time I have to drag my tired ass down there to wag my finger in their faces. You wouldn’t think grown men could act so much like spoiled children.”
Marlee switched off the TV. “Well, it’s over now. Now you can join me for dinner because I’m starving.”
“Not so fast, you,” he called out. “I’ve got something to say to you.”
“Can’t it wait?”
“No, it can’t. I finished at the docks around four. I’ve been talking to Ash in the park ever since.”
Marlee froze. “What about?”
“About you, of course. After I left the docks, I got a text from him asking me to meet him at Strawberry Fields. He always goes there when he has some serious thinking to do.”
“So what does this have to do with me?”
“What did you do to him? He’s a mess. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“I didn’t do anything to him. I just fucked him. That’s all I did.”
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