“Only the strongest, the ones who may have actually been able to protect themselves and others, were brought here. Yet those who needed the protection, who needed someone who could help them and watch over them, are turned away again and again, left to fend for themselves in a world of chaos. How is that something to honor?” I was disappointed that this world was not any better than what I had grown up in, that those who needed help were still left to suffer.
“What if someone would have started fighting earlier? What if you would have continued to train everyone, no matter who they were, so that they stood some kind of chance?” Tears tracked down my cheeks; stress, anger, and despair combined to overload my hold on my emotions. “Maybe that’s why my mom ran. She wasn’t a Guardian. Just a woman trying to find a way to take care of her baby, and all of you left her to fend for herself.” I pushed from my seat, wiping frantically at the tears. “Maybe I don’t want to be part of this world after all.” I tore toward my bedroom, the solitude and Opals’ purrs a lure I couldn’t resist.
23
I traced the faint veins on Opal’s wings, enjoying the way she purred and chirped at the attention. My tears had long since dried up, only the tightened skin from the salt on my cheeks a reminder of what had been shed. I regretted my tirade I had aimed at the four of them, the disgust with which I had studied them, but I wasn’t yet steady enough to apologize. I hoped that the emotions were simply lingering due to the battle and my body continuing to heal itself, though I doubted it. I had always had a strong sense of right and wrong; my mother accused me more than once of thinking only in black and white and not understanding that there were obstacles in life that were grey instead.
A faint knock sounded, and Reed poked his head in, offering me a hesitant smile. “May I join you?” I nodded, despite Opal’s hiss of irritation. Reed perched himself a safe distance away, far from the reach of Opal’s sharp claws and teeth.
“I’m sorry.” I glanced up at Reed, pretending not to notice the blush that was infusing my embarrassed cheeks. “I know that none of those decisions were any of yours. It’s not like the human world is any better. I just…” I trailed off with a shrug, trying to find the right way to express the thoughts in my head, the heaviness that filled my chest. “I think we all hope that there’s someone out there getting things right, a world that’s completely fair to all. Where there’s right and wrong and the right choice is always made.”
“I used to believe in that myself.” Reed’s admission was a shock. “Before I joined the Guardians, all I had were tales, fables. You never knew when someone may be taken to join their ranks. I believed it to be a society of the strongest and purest of folk, who would make a difference in the world.”
His smile was crooked and wry when he shook his head, as if considering himself a fool. “My family had been killed, you see. Taken by the elves when I was still very young. I grew up on the streets of the witches’ territory, learning whatever I could get my hands on. I found comfort in books; the worlds they created, the truths that they told. It wasn’t until years later I discovered I had distant family amongst the humans. I do visit them occasionally, to keep that bond and escape the Hold if things get overwhelming.”
It was hard to see a homeless, orphan boy in the strong, intelligent man that sat before me. “I’m sorry.” The platitude was so often said, but I meant every word of it. At least I had had my mother and a roof of some type over my head.
“I learned a lot in that time. When I was ten, the Guardian’s found me, brought me here. I was in awe. I didn’t believe myself to be of any great power.” He leaned forward, tapping his fingers together as he thought. “This may just be my justification for this life.” Reed’s voice was contemplative, as though he’d considered these words several times before saying them, maybe even repeated them to himself, over and over again.
“I wondered, as time progressed, if perhaps the strength the Guardians had seen in me, my worth allowing me to gain entry to this Hold, was not my physical strength. I have learned to wield a weapon, to use my magic as a weapon in and of itself, but at that time I had nothing but potential. What I did have was a desperate desire for acceptance, for a home, and for knowledge. I trained every moment of the day, studying and practicing until I fell asleep on my feet. Maybe what they needed wasn’t someone who could wield a weapon, but who could — and would — learn to.”
“Maybe,” I conceded. “I’m not sure it’s that much better, to be used as a weapon and locked away.”
“Maybe not,” Reed agreed. “It doesn’t mean we can’t change it. You’ve already changed things, croí beag.”
Reed froze for a moment, studying my face to see if I was angry. “It’s a nickname,” he explained. “It translates to something like the little student. I can stop if you’d like.”
“I don’t mind.” I snorted a bit. “Not like I haven’t nicknamed all of you, I can’t exactly pull the double standard and say you can’t nickname me.”
Reed blinked. “Really?” He cocked his head as if considering it. “What do you call me?”
I winced. “Frost.”
“Frost?” He appeared as confused by my term as I had been by his.
“Like Jack Frost? Frosty the Snowman?” I wasn’t sure how much he had been exposed to human entertainment on his visits to the other realm. “You made it snow for me,” I offered with a shrug, trying to explain my choice.
His lips quirked. “Well, that’s definitely a memory I don’t mind you linking with me.” His voice dropped, going husky as his gaze moved to my lips. I licked my suddenly dry lips, and his green eyes flashed. “I’d like to repeat that experiment again. You can’t really learn something until you’ve experienced it several times.” Humor crept into his tone as he stepped up toward me, reaching as if to cradle my hips. I scrambled away from his reach with a chuckle.
“We need to talk about that,” I reminded him. “We’re supposed to be training, not kissing.” I meant to sound convincing, but I couldn’t pull my own gaze from his mouth, remembering the taste of him. His lips twitched, and I knew he had caught my stare and figured out exactly what I was thinking about.
“Oh, I think there can be a lot of training.” Reed’s huskily amused statement had my own lips twitching.
“Ha.” My stomach tightened with lust as I imagined all of the things he could teach me with that mouth. My daydream about it had been more than enough to drive me a little crazy, and I could use a little distraction from this new life… I let the wish peter out, pushing it aside with realism. “There’s four of us and so much to do.”
“I could think of plenty for the four of us to do together.” Reed stroked a finger over his lips, my gaze catching on them as he traced back and forth. “I’m sure they’d enjoy the taste of you as much as I did. All that soft skin…” I could feel heat infusing my skin, my breathing coming heavier as I let myself be drawn into the fantasy he was creating. “I know the taste of your mouth. I’ve thought about it for days.”
He stepped closer, stroking his hand down my face. “I’ve wondered how you’d taste if I put my mouth here.” He drew his fingers down my throat, trailing and tracing the same path his mouth had taken in my fantasy, making me whimper. “How you’d feel pressed against me, or underneath me. How you’d feel pressed between us, all those soft curves.” His fingers feathered over the upper curve of my breast, his lips barely teasing mine, the lightest of caresses to match his words.
“Oh, screw it,” I muttered, throwing myself into his arms.
I clamped my mouth over his, letting his sweetness sink into me. I’d deal with the fallout later. For now, I was going to take what he so willingly offered. His lips were eager under mine, nipping my bottom lip so that I gasped, allowing him entry to slide his tongue over my own.
He pulled me flush against him and my hands gripped the collar of his shirt, as I tugged him even closer to me, enjoying the hard planes of his muscles pressed against me. He growled as my fingers dug
into his shoulder blades and slid underneath the material of his shirt to stroke heated skin.
His mouth left mine, gliding to my throat, nipping, licking, and sucking in a frenzy, as though he couldn’t taste enough of me. I groaned at the sensation, tilting my head back to give him better access. I writhed under his attention, enjoying the way he made me feel with every pass of his fingers and swipe of his tongue.
“You taste so damn good.” Reed’s words were soft, his mouth not stopping its path as he tugged at my shirt. I willingly released his shoulders, lifting my arms so that he could slide my shirt over my head. His hands quickly roved over me, palming and shaping my breasts with sure movements.
I didn’t bother with a response, merely easing my fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth back against my sensitive skin. He chuckled, resuming his path, his fingers teasing against my skin over and over again. Frantic to feel his skin against my own, I tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head to press him fully against me. At the press of his flesh against mine, we both moaned, the sensation nearly overwhelming. Reed’s head dipped lower, his warm mouth skimming over my breasts when I caught sight of the tattoo that marked the top of his shoulder blade.
“Wait.” The word was frantic enough to stop Reed in his tracks and he pulled away from me, instantly stopping the attention he had been lavishing on me. His eyes met my frantic ones as he tried to asses the situation to see what had me stopping so suddenly. “Your tattoo. You have a tattoo.”
Reed blinked, apparently trying to process what the small mark on his shoulder had to do with my sudden turn around. “Most of the witches wear them, they are marked when we choose our specialty. Mine is the symbol for water. Terran bears one as well with his symbol for earth.”
He cocked his head, studying me as I hurried to pull my shirt back on. It was far too distracting and disconcerting to speak with him about this while I stood half-naked in front of him. “Tori, you’re pale. Did I hurt you?” I could see the clear concern in his eyes. “I’m very sorry if I frightened you in some way. That was never my intention.”
“No, it wasn’t you, not really. Um…” I trailed off. “Look, can you maybe send River in here? I really need to talk to a female.”
His eyes widened and he slid his shirt quickly over his head, heading to the door. “Of course. If I can help in any way, I will.”
“It’s not you, Reed, I promise.” I tried to be encouraging and offer a smile, but I knew it fell flat. “I just, I need to talk to her about something.” My hands were shaking, and I tucked them behind myself to hide the motion.
Reed slipped from the room, his face a mask of confusion and despair, and I hoped I could make him believe me when I said it wasn’t one of his actions that had caused this. River was quick to enter, shutting the door quietly behind her as I flung myself towards her.
“Tori? Did he hurt you?” Anger grew in her voice, and she patted my back soothingly.
“Of course not!” Shock was clear in my words, and the pure horror in it soothed her as much as her presence helped to soothe me. “I don’t think Reed would ever be capable of hurting a woman, especially not like that.”
“Then what’s wrong? I know Onyx and Terran are busy interrogating Reed. You’ve got all of us in a panic. Are you hurting again?” We settled onto the bed, Opal climbing up my shirt to cling around my neck, nuzzling my cheek with her head. I had actually forgotten she had been in the room with us, and I had appreciated that she gave us some privacy, though things hadn’t turned out the way that I had planned.
“Reed has a tattoo,” I stated, wringing my hands in my lap in frustration.
River blinked, apparently as confused as Reed had been. “Yes.” She spoke slowly as she tried to process why that would have me in a fit. “Most witches do. It is a mark of honor to them when they have reached that point in their training.”
“He has a tattoo on his shoulder blade,” I reiterated.
River tilted her head, and I wondered if she was considering whether or not I had lost some of my sanity during the last battle. “Well, I am encouraged to know you didn’t simply see through his shirt and that you were enjoying your time in here.” The last was said with a sly smile, and I waved the teasing away with a brush of my hand.
“Yes, I had his shirt off,” I admitted.
“Was it as nice of a sight as I’d expect?” River asked with a longing sigh. I couldn’t help the laughter that fell from my lips, nor could I help the twinge of jealousy that tickled at me.
“Better,” I admitted. Reed’s skin had been fair, but it hadn’t detracted from the strong cords of muscle across his abdomen.
“Okay, so you liked how he looked with his shirt off, and you were apparently enjoying kissing him with how swollen your lips are,” River pointed out. “What made you run for me?” Her eyes widened a moment, heat suffusing her cheeks. “Have you not been with a male before?”
“God no!” I wasn’t sure whether I should laugh myself sick or recoil in horror at the idea of her giving me the sex talk. “I mean, I haven’t been with a ton of men, but I’m not a virgin.”
“Do you simply disapprove of tattoos?” She pulled her blonde hair over her shoulder, combing her fingers through it as she thought.
“It’s not that.” I focused on Opal, too embarrassed to look into River’s eyes while we talked. “Before everything happened with Birch I was... relaxing.” I chose my words carefully, emphasizing them with an eyebrow wiggle to try and make my point. From her chuckle, I knew she understood the direction of my thoughts. “I figured some harmless fantasy couldn’t hurt, so I was kind of thinking of Terran and Reed, and I saw him with that tattoo.”
River wrinkled her nose, trying to understand what I was saying. “You’re saying you knew he had a tattoo, that particular tattoo, before you’d even seen it?”
“Yes!” I nodded rapidly. “How could I possibly have known he had a tattoo before I’d seen it? It’s weird.” I rubbed the palms of my hands frantically against my thighs. “I know I haven’t seen him without his shirt before, yet I knew he had that water tattoo. How is that even possible?”
River shrugged. “My assumption would be it has to do with either your powers or the fact that they are your Guardians. I am merely a servant, Tori, you forget that.”
“You’re not a mere anything,” I stated emphatically. “You’re my friend, and far more powerful than you give yourself credit for.”
Her smile was sweet and she patted my hand. “Be that as it may, I am not privy to the secrets of the Guardians. I know it will be awkward, but if you want answers to this mystery, it’s them you need to speak to, not me.”
I dropped my head into my hands, ignoring Opal’s squeak of protest at the rapid motion. “So you’re saying I have to go tell three sexy men that I was fantasizing about having sex with them and somehow actually saw them naked? Oh joy, this will be fun.”
24
A fuming Onyx was pacing the living area when River and I made our entrance. Reed sat on the couch with his hands clenched together, his foot tapping in irritation, as Terran sat beside him, patting his back. All three froze when they saw us, and Reed paled.
“What is going on?” Onyx snarled. “You’ve got all of us worried sick. Reed thinks he hurt you.” Onyx’s hair was sticking up in spikes as if he’d been running his fingers through it.
“I think I’m going to give you some privacy for this.” River shot me an encouraging smile. “We’ll talk later, all right?” She squeezed my hand, ducking quietly out of the room.
“You can talk to us,” Terran urged. “We just want to make sure you’re taken care of.”
I sighed, heading over to a seat. I really wished I had a drink before doing this. “Like I told Reed, it wasn’t him.”
“He didn’t scare you?” Onyx asked skeptically.
I wasn’t sure whether to scowl at him for the callous way he asked or simply be glad he had cared enough to ask at all. “No.” I couldn’t meet his
eyes when I continued, choosing instead to focus on my hands as I drew small patterns on my thighs. “I was enjoying what we were doing.” I shot Reed a look and a smile. “He’s a good kisser.” Reed snorted, shaking his head, though I was glad to see some of the tension leave his body.
“Then what was wrong?” Terran asked, confused. “Reed would never force you. None of us would.”
“I knew he wouldn’t. It had nothing to do with that.” I wiggled in my seat, uncomfortable. “River said I had to talk to you about it. Um, I’m not really sure how to say this.”
“Just tell us,” Reed encouraged. “Even if it sounds odd or uncomfortable. You aren’t going to upset us.”
“You have a tattoo.” Silence hung heavily in the air as the three considered my words.
“Well, yes, Reed and I both have tattoos.” Terran’s words were confused. “They can’t hurt you.”
I scowled at that. “Of course they can’t they’re tattoos.”
“Please, Tori.” Surprisingly, the comment came from Onyx. I hadn’t even known he was able to say please, let alone saying it to me. “You’re stressing all of us out. If you’re not scared of us, if we’re not harming you in some way, just get it out so that we can figure things out and move on.”
“I knew he had it,” I blurted out. “I’d never actually seen it, but I knew he had it. I knew exactly what it looked like, where it was. There’s no way I should have known that.”
Onyx blinked in surprise. “So you accidentally saw —” I cut him off with a wave of my hand and an emphatic shake of my head.
“I’ve never been in any situation where I would have seen the back of his shoulder blade bare. You’ve all been with me since we met, you’d know if I had been.”
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