by Ashlee Price
It felt like the wind engulfed her. But it wasn’t a strong breeze. Instead, the strength of Tanner’s body wrapping around her stopped her trembling. He didn’t ask any questions. He didn’t say anything at all. He simply sat behind her, hugging her tight, letting her cry into him just as he’d done before. Just as he’d always do. Jenna couldn’t help but turn around, crying and mumbling into his shoulder.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Tanner. I don’t know what else to do. Everything is wrong. I don’t know how to help my dad. I can’t pick a grad school. And I miss my mother. God, I miss her so much.”
He wouldn’t console her and tell her everything was going to be alright. He simply rubbed her back and whispered to her, “I know.”
It took her a while, but Jenna finally allowed him to bring her inside the house. He made her some tea before sitting across from her at the table. Jenna could barely make eye contact. Her puffy red eyes and throbbing head were enough to keep her silent.
“Jenna,” Tanner said her name so softly.
“Tanner, I know I’ve been ignoring your calls, but that’s only because I didn’t know what this thing is between us,” she admitted. “Hannah told me I should just have fun and let that be it. I shouldn’t get too involved because you’re not ready and you’re not the most mature guy to be with right before I leave for grad school.”
“Wow,” he smirked, “I’m so glad she told you exactly what she thinks. But we’re different. This is us.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Tanner leaned across the table, close to her. “We’re familiar. Our love is familiar. Our memories, our fights, even our kisses.”
“Nope! Gotta stop you there, our kisses are not that familiar. They have certainly improved over the last five, six years?” she laughed.
“That smile is familiar,” he told her sweetly. “Even your tears are.”
“That shouldn’t be,” she sighed.
“Jenna, you’ve been through a lot. You’re allowed to be screwed up. Your dad’s allowed to be screwed up. The business is allowed to be screwed up, but you can’t let it screw up the rest of your life. And you definitely can’t let it screw up our relationship. We work because there’s nothing for you to explain. I know why you’re hurting. I know why you’re being so tough. I know why you’re so confused about us. Even though I’m not.”
“I don’t want to get hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you. Tanner, this is too heavy for me right now. I just got done dealing with my dad and Hannity earlier. I had a freaking breakdown on my front lawn. My neighbors probably think I’m crazy.”
“So what!” Tanner threw his hands up. “Do you understand that I’ve been dating someone who’s driven me absolutely insane, multiple times? We’ve had disastrous blowups, like the one you saw at The Wheel, and I still went back to that. You can’t care about what other people think. Be crazy and don’t keep it bottled up.”
She watched him get up from the table. “Wait a minute, where are you going? You came here just to catch me crying on my front lawn?”
“No, I came here because you were ignoring my calls. But it’s okay. We can always talk whenever you want. If you feel like we should keep things between us casual, that’s okay with me too. If you want us to be completely platonic, that’s not going to be easy, but I’ll do whatever you want. I just don’t want us to stop talking like we did before. I forgot how much I like you in my life. I’ve missed you, Jen.”
“I’ve missed you too, Tan,” she mocked. It was a subtle dig at his nickname for her, a nickname she hated. Jen was always short for Jennifer, and that just wasn’t her name.
“I remember,” he smiled, kissing her on the forehead before leaving her in the kitchen, alone with her thoughts and tears. It was a place she hated to be. Cornered with memories and regrets, clouded with decisions yet to be made, and still the sorrow surging through her wasn’t enough to silence her mind back to normalcy. She just wanted it all to be quiet… still.
The sound of the door opening jarred her awake. A crease ran across her face from where she’d fallen asleep on her arm. Her neck ached as she sat up from the kitchen table. Paul walked in with a concerned look on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Daddy,” she told him sleepily, “just a rough morning.”
“You mean day; it’s damn near nine o’clock,” he informed her. Running the back of his hand across her forehead, he let out an exhausted sigh. “You’re not really warm, but you look like crap. Maybe you should go lie down in your bed.”
“I will, Daddy.” She got up from the table, then paused. “But can I ask you something?”
“Anything, sweetie.”
She paused for a moment, hesitant to say anything. But she knew if she kept quiet, it would just nag at her. “How much money do you owe Mr. Hannity?”
“For goodness’ sake, Jenna. You’re as stubborn as a mule. Worse than a dog with a bone. Let me teach you something about life right now: Never ask how much something costs if you’re not ready to pay for it. I keep telling you to stop worrying, and just to prove it to you, plan yourself a birthday party.”
“What?”
“The bar will be done just in time for your 24th, and I want you to throw one of your parties. You won’t have to work it. Just pick a theme and have Hannah help me out planning and putting everything together. Don’t worry about the money. Don’t worry about Mr. Hannity. Do whatever you like. He’ll be out of our hair soon. I told you I’m taking care of it. I need you to trust me.” His eyes sunk and Jenna folded.
She didn’t argue. She didn’t fuss. She didn’t pester him with more questions. She let herself go to bed so that she could take in all that had transpired that day and let it go. It had been a tiresome rollercoaster ride for her emotions, but she was done with that ride. After plopping down onto her bed, she took only minutes to fall asleep again, picking up where she’d left off downstairs at the kitchen table.
Chapter 13
Jenna tried her best to get into party planning mode, but her mental implosion left her stumped for a few days. Talking to her dad seemed useless; he didn’t carry the same burden she’d put on herself. She considered it her duty to take care of them, to look after Paul especially, because her mother wasn’t there to do so. It was a revelation she’d come to after a few sessions in grief counseling that had been offered to her when she returned to school a few years back.
However, even the psychobabble didn’t alter how she felt. She couldn’t control it. She couldn’t lift the burden. But seeing Tanner’s face flashing across her cell phone screen did bring a smile to her lips. He’d stayed away, giving her the space she needed to be alone with her thoughts and feelings, and until now she’d let his calls go to voicemail, but today she decided to answer.
“Hey, Tanner.” She tried to make her voice as upbeat as possible.
His mood, on the other hand, was solemn. “Hey, just calling to check on you. I spoke to Mr. F the other day and all he would tell me was you were still sick. You told him what happened, right?”
“I tried, Tanner,” she said, dropping the facade of cheeriness. “I really tried, but the more I talked, the more he just said to get over it and not to worry about him.”
“I see the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree,” Tanner laughed.
“What?”
“That’s the same thing you were saying about him a couple weeks ago when he had his meltdown about you wanting to paint the bar.”
“I guess I was kind of a tool about that, huh?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “You were.”
“You’re not supposed to agree with that!” she chided.
“Right, because we’ve always had a relationship where we coddle each other’s opinions and self-esteem. At least you sound a lot better.”
“Yeah, and my body’s starting to catch up to that feeling too. It helps that my birthday is coming up. I’m pretty excited about that. I actually wanted to run some idea
s by you and see what you thought. Do you have some free time today?”
“I’ll have free time if you come over here,” he told her. “I’m in the house all day today. I only have these next few weeks to get ready. If you stop by later, I’ll take a break and we can talk about whatever you want.”
“So you want me to come over to your house?”
“Well, I could come over to yours, but again, your dad has this thing where he likes to threaten me. I want to believe he’s joking, but I don’t know. There’s not actually too much of a twinkle in his eye when he says he’s going to get his rifle.”
“In all of your years coming to my house, have you ever actually seen my dad’s gun?” she giggled.
“No! I haven’t! You mean he’s been lying to me this entire time?”
“No, it’s just in the gun cabinet in the basement,” she laughed hysterically.
He laughed right along with her. “Jen! I’m surprised at you. Trying to get me killed. How am I supposed to help old ladies cross the street and rescue kittens out of trees with a gunshot wound? But it’s good to hear you laugh, smile. I’m going to get to work. Come by later and we’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Jenna hung up the phone, letting herself fall back onto her bed. It was the first time in days she’d been in a good mood. Even Paul took notice as he walked by her bedroom.
“Is that a cheery disposition?” He peeked in on her room, looking around as if he was going to catch someone sneaking in, or out.
“It is, Daddy,” she smiled.
“It’s Tanner, isn’t it?” he questioned with the side of his mouth curled up in distaste. “Only a boy could be responsible for a smile like that.”
“Relax, Daddy, he’s not derailing my future, just checking on me to make sure I’m okay.”
“Yeah, Mrs. Owens next door said you were having a fit outside on the lawn and that he had to carry you in here. Is that what you were trying to tell me? Is that what this funk has been about these last few days?”
“Yeah, I guess the simplest way to say it is that I missed Mom and everything seemed to be collapsing. I didn’t have to say anything to Tanner. He knows me, us, it’s familiar. He doesn’t wish everything away like other people. He lets me cry it out and doesn’t try to make me feel better in a matter of minutes. He just gets it, Daddy.”
Paul huffed. “As much as I dislike the kid, I’m glad you have a friend, friends, who just get it. Make sure you call Hannah, too. She’s been stopping by to check on you.”
“Aww, Daddy, you should know better by now. You can always send Hannah straight up to me.”
“Well, I didn’t know what was wrong or if you were contagious or what! But good to know it was all in your head. Okay, I’m off to the bar. The guys should be finished putting in the new floors and staining them. Said they’d be dry by today.”
“Dad? The money—” She stopped herself. “Never mind. Have a good day today.”
Paul walked into the room and kissed her gently on the top of her head. “Thanks, sweetie. You have a good day too.”
Jenna smiled, knowing that her father was always going to be there for her. She called Hannah to give her an update. Hannah, as always, promised to be there if she needed her, and she threw in an offer to bring over some condoms in case Jenna decided to have sex with Tanner later that night.
Being that intimate with Tanner hadn’t crossed her mind until Hannah brought it up, but the more she reflected on times gone by, the less it seemed like a big deal. They should just do it and get it out of the way. Maybe they could go back to being friends once that sexual tension was released. It would be like popping the cork off a bottle of champagne… pressure gone.
By the time Jenna pulled herself out of bed to shower and get ready to see Tanner, it was later than she’d planned. A part of her hoped he wasn’t seriously waiting for her to get there before he took a break from studying. She grabbed some coffee for him, along with some of his favorite snacks, and headed over to his place.
His apartment was on top of an antique shop that always seemed to be closed. Tanner’s door was around the corner, on the side of the building. She made her way toward it—and got an unwelcome surprise.
It was Brandy, holding a large box in her arms. The soft blonde hair of Tanner’s ex-girlfriend sat atop her head in a perfect messy bun. She wore sweatpants and a simple pink tank top that accentuated her rosy cheeks and pouty lips. As much as Jenna hated to see Brandy standing there, she couldn’t deny her beauty. It was her personality that sucked.
“What are you doing here, Emma?” Brandy rolled her eyes.
“Not about to get into anything with you. And it’s Jenna, but you know that already,” she replied, readying herself to brush by her.
Brandy stepped directly in front of her. “Do you think it even matters? Why do I need to know your name? You’re nobody.”
“I’m a nobody with a name that your ex-boyfriend knows.”
“You’re a nobody who’s going to get her heart broken. Don’t believe him when he says he’s done with me.” She narrowed her gaze. “That’s what he always says before he comes begging for me to take him back.”
“Maybe to beg you to take him to bed. But the difference is I’m not trying to date Tanner. Despite what you, or anybody else, believes, we really are just friends. So get out of my way, before I move you out of it,” Jenna demanded forcefully.
Brandy stepped aside, but she couldn’t let Jenna have the last word. “You know he proposed to me, right? Twice! You can shout it to the rooftops that you two are just friends, but I know better. I know how much you’re into him, and moving in on my would-have-been fiancé is low. You’re just delaying the inevitable.”
“Your ‘would-have-been fiancé’ seems to be under the impression that you don’t actually care about him, and he really doesn’t appreciate hearing from the guys you bang on the side. And you’re trying to call me out for a low blow? At least if I did anything I shouldn’t have I did it to you. You did it to the man you’re claiming wanted to marry you. What kind of a woman does that make you?” Jenna walked away before she said anything else that might either prolong the conversation or start an all-out catfight.
Her stomach sank with every step she took towards Tanner’s apartment. She was growing angrier by the minute, and it didn’t help when she knocked on the door and Tanner opened it expecting his ex.
“Hey, Bran—”
“Yeah, not her,” Jenna snapped, shoving past him. “What the hell was she doing here, Tanner? And you were going to marry her?!?”
“Well, good evening,” he joked, “it’s nice to see you, Tanner. How’s studying going? Not so good? Why not? Well, it could be that my crazy ex-girlfriend just left after throwing the temper tantrum of all temper tantrums. She came to get her stuff out of here and wouldn’t leave until I let her, and her ex-Marine big brother, who’s also a member of the Philadelphia PD, come through here to take everything she wanted! Some of which was mine!”
“Sorry, but you should have known better.” She shoved her bag of snacks into his chest and placed his coffee on the table. “It’s been weeks since you guys broke up, and I told you before, but apparently I have to tell you again, that she’s not going to leave you alone if you keep putting up with her antics! She’s going to keep bullying her pretty little head into your life, which transfers to me somehow. She thinks I’m moving in on you, even though technically I would just be your rebound. You’re not the vulnerable one here, I am!”
Tanner was ignoring most of what Jenna was saying as he peered into the bag of snacks she’d brought. There were a bunch of the chocolate snack cakes she remembered he used to love, some chips, and a few different candy bars. All he did was smile. “You brought all of this for me?”
“Well, yeah,” she said, calming down. “You said you were studying, and after four years in college I know how that is! You need good snacks. It keeps you going.”
“Come her
e,” he motioned to her with his finger. As Jenna stepped closer, that finger slid under her chin, lifting her face up to his where he planted a kiss on her. It was slow and deliberate. Craning his neck down toward her, Tanner wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her body closer to him, angling her mouth for an even deeper kiss.
Jenna closed her eyes, letting herself get lost in their embrace. Her heart pounded against her chest as the thickness of his hands slid from around her waist to the front of her pants. She could feel him undoing the button before he slid his hand down into her panties. With a firm, insistent touch he rubbed the center between her thighs, causing her to moan as their mouths continued to lap over one another.
The tingling sensation traveled all over her body as he slipped her jeans down to the floor. He moved her back until she was forced to sit on top of his table. Spreading her legs, Tanner buried his face between her thighs, suckling, licking, and lapping at her center like a thirsty man in the desert. As he continued to kiss her softest place, he turned up the heat by sliding two fingers inside of her while his other hand moved up under her bra. Jenna sat back, trying her best not to squeeze his face, but the orgasms radiated through her body.
Every lick, every flick of his tongue touched a spot she hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. When Tanner finally came up for air, his face glistened with her juices. He wiped them away, then reached down to slather them onto his own member. She hadn’t realized he’d even dropped his pants, but there was no stopping things now. There weren’t any fire trucks loaded with firefighters coming to interrupt them. Her father and best friend weren’t in the next room on the other side of an unlocked door. There was just Jenna and Tanner in his living room, ready to do what they’d both been yearning for since the night they kissed.
Feeling him inside of her was different than Jenna expected. She gasped at the sheer girth of his manhood. Clenching around him, she couldn’t believe they’d been arguing mere moments ago and now she was having sex with the man she used to call the love of her life, on a dining room table in his apartment. It made her blush and hold onto him tighter, but the words ‘just have fun with him’ began to echo in her mind.