by C. C. Snow
He curled an arm around my waist and scooted me close. Snugging his lips against my ear, he whispered, “Baby, this is probably a terrible time and place to say this, but I can’t hold back any more.”
Butterflies took flight, their wings beating frenziedly at the inside of my belly, and my palms grew damp.
His finger nudged my face toward him until our gazes met. My breath stalled in my chest at his expression. I had seen this same look on Jake’s face when he gazed at Cora.
Oh. God. I felt like my bones were melting.
“Elle Lazzaro, I am crazy, head-over-heels, incurably in love with you,” he said, each word fervent, yet tender.
I felt a spinning sensation under my feet, as if I were falling from the sky without a parachute, and clutched my hands onto his biceps to anchor me.
The sound that came out of my mouth was unintelligible.
He pressed his thumb into my lower lip. “It’s okay, baby. I didn’t say it because I expected you to say anything in return.”
My vision grew cloudy as my eyes filled with tears. From the moment we met, I had been pushing this incredible man away and yet he still fought for me every step of the way. My heart gave a hard knock against my chest cavity and I took a shuddering breath. The outcome had been inevitable from the very beginning.
I experienced the sense of vertigo again, but this time I let myself fall because I trusted him to catch me.
“I love you too.” Saying those words was terrifying. And freeing. This was the second man I had said those words to, but he was the only one who counted. The first man had been a figment of my fantasies—a lie. But this man was as real as the earth beneath my feet and the blue sky in the heavens.
The smile that pulled at his lips was radiant. Eyes glowing, he kissed me softly and stood, pulling me with him.
“Wait, where are we going? There’s still a second set,” I asked, grabbing my coat.
“We’re going home. I want to hear you say those words as I make love to you over and over again,” he said in a sexy, low voice that rendered my legs useless and I had to lean on him as he guided me out of the concert hall.
And he made good on his promise.
Chapter 16
“He’s asleep?” Susan looked up at us as Cora and I entered the kitchen.
Troy told me his mom was in her late fifties, but Susan could pass for a woman a decade younger. She had flawless, pale skin and thick blonde hair. Her aquamarine eyes were still sparkling with vitality and energy.
Exhaling an exhausted breath, Cora nodded and carefully lowered herself into a chair.
Susan walked over to the table with a blue-and-white patterned teapot. Placing it in the middle of the table, she sat down. “Aiden is as stubborn as the boys were when they were young. Lord, I had such a hard time getting them to settle at bedtime. When it was only Jake, it was still manageable, but once Troy came along, it was a nightly ordeal. As soon as Geoffrey and I walked downstairs, I’d hear little feet running around.” She nodded at Cora’s round belly. “If this one is a boy, you’d better watch out.”
Cora groaned and rubbed the bump stretching her cable-knit sweater. “I told Jake I didn’t care if this was a boy or girl, but for the sake of my sanity…”
Pursing her lips, Susan stilled and said reflectively, “Although maybe a girl would be just as bad. Maybe all Westons carry the troublemaker gene.”
“Mom,” Cora complained playfully.
Chuckling, Susan started to pour the tea and glanced at me. “Elle, dear, what are you doing standing? Have a seat.” She waved to the chair adjacent from Cora and I sat down stiffly.
Troy had left with his brother and father to fix things on the farm before the winter storms hit, leaving me to hang out with his mother and Cora. I had never experienced this type of female bonding and didn’t know how to act. My mother and I had never had a real conversation with each other. My relationship with Gwen was, by necessity, kept a secret because of her mother and sisters’ disapproval. I had a few friends in college, but the friendships were casual at best. The easy, deeply affectionate interaction between Susan and Cora was foreign to me.
This was the second time I had been to see Troy’s parents. The first time was for Thanksgiving dinner. If I had my way, I would have put off meeting them indefinitely, but I couldn’t stand to disappoint him.
Susan had been thoughtful enough to include my roommate in the invitation and I was grateful for Ethan’s gift for gab because I had been positively petrified and could hardly squeak out a greeting. I kept waiting for them to notice how socially awkward I was, but Troy’s mom and his dad, Geoffrey, had been gracious and welcoming, never remarking on my reticence. Troy must have sensed my disquiet because he stayed by my side.
Slowly, over a boisterous dinner, I had relaxed enough to enjoy their banter. And when I watched Troy’s father steal his son’s pumpkin right off his plate, I couldn’t contain my laughter. Troy had turned to me and kissed me in front of everyone, making me turn tomato red. Dazed, I had picked up my fork and realized he had swiped my dessert off my plate while he had been distracting me. I glared at him and he had the gall to wink at me as he sunk his teeth into my piece of pie.
Sneaky bastard.
The sound of Susan’s chair scraping back brought my attention to her.
“You know what would be perfect with tea?” Susan grinned conspiratorially and stood. “Those delicious rocky road bars Elle made.”
“Uh…I think Troy took those with him,” I said with a smile, remembering how greedily he had stuffed them into a paper bag, declaring he would need snacks for the day.
Susan winked at me, walked to the microwave, and took out a plate stacked with three treats.
I looked at her in awe. “How did you…?” I had learned in a very short time that desserts did not last long in the presence of Weston men.
“When you have lived with them for as long as I have, you need to learn a few tricks or you’d always end up holding an empty plate.”
“I’m beginning to think Troy got his sneaky tricks from you and not from Dad,” Cora said teasingly and reached to take a bar.
For a while, we sat quietly, enjoying the sweet confections.
“That’s really delicious, Elle. Did you learn to bake from your mom?” Susan questioned.
I froze with the cup of tea halfway to my mouth and stared at her. How should I answer her? I hated lying, but I couldn’t tell her the truth either.
I took a slow sip of my tea, stalling for time. Without meeting her gaze, I set the cup carefully on the saucer. “No, my mom doesn’t really like to cook or bake. When I was younger, I had a friend whose family employed a personal chef. I used to spend a lot of time at their house and learned to cook and bake from Fernando.”
Everything was true except for one detail. It wasn’t a friend; it was my half-sister. Ignored by my father and his family, lonely and bored, I had wandered aimlessly around the house. Time and time again, I’d end up in the kitchen, watching in fascination as Fernando directed the staff to prepare the evening meal. Then one day, he abruptly asked me to help peel the potatoes. I suspected he pitied the way people looked right through me. Whatever his motives, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen until I left for college.
“Well, my husband is in sugar heaven. Between you and Cora, he’d never run out of treats.”
Cora patted her belly. “Well, Elle will have dessert duty for a while. I can’t bend to reach the oven anymore.”
I tilted my head in bemusement. “I can’t understand how they can gorge themselves on sweets and not gain a pound.”
Groaning, Cora nodded in agreement. “My brother is the same. Until a few years ago, he was skinny as a twig and ate twice as much as I did. It was only after high school that he bulked up, but it’s muscle, not fat,” she said with a sound of disgust.
“The first time Troy and I went to a steakhouse, he ate his rib-eye and finished my tenderloin when I couldn’t eat another bite. Th
en he ordered a mud-pie to top off the meal. When he caught me staring at him, he said that he ate a big lunch and wasn’t that hungry.”
The kitchen filled with our laughter and I felt suffused with an emotion I couldn’t identify. Talking with these women felt…nice.
“I’m glad Troy met you, Elle,” Susan said out of the blue.
I flushed as she reached over to squeeze my hand. “I’m glad I met him too,” I replied, feeling flustered by her comment.
“You’ve made my son so happy.”
“I can’t take the credit,” I protested softly. “He seems to be pretty happy guy in general.”
“Not like this,” Susan insisted.
“I agree with Mom,” Cora chimed in. “I’ve never seen Troy act like this with any of girlfriends.”
Unbidden, jealousy shot through me at the thought of all the other women he had dated.
Susan must have seen something in my expression because she patted my hand. “You have nothing to worry about, dear. I’ve never seen my son look at anyone the way he looks at you.”
My face got redder as I fiddled with my cup of tea.
Brows knitting, Susan popped the last bite of the rocky road bar into her mouth. “I’ve been so worried about him for the last couple of years—dating women who were clearly wrong for him.” Her forehead became smooth again as she smiled at me. “But you’ve changed all of that and I’m so thankful you’re in his life.”
I squirmed. If anyone should be grateful, it should be me. Troy had helped me overcome so many of my self-imposed blocks. “Susan…I…I really think you are giving me far too much credit.”
“Trust me, Elle. You didn’t know what my son was like before he met you.”
Cora nodded. “It’s true, Elle. Ever since that disaster with Veronika, Troy had changed.”
Ears perking up at the familiar name, I looked at Cora. “Veronika Howe?”
“So Troy told you about the lying bitch?” Susan asked, her serene tone at odds with her words.
Cora gasped and I gaped at Susan in shock. I would never have expected Troy’s dignified mom to swear.
Susan blue-green eyes sparkled with mirth over the rim of her porcelain cup and I could clearly see where Troy inherited his sense of humor. “What?” she asked innocently, making Cora and me snicker.
“Actually Troy started to tell me about her, but…” I cleared my throat. “We never got around to finishing the conversation. I just know they dated for a while.”
Her eyes hardening, Susan put her cup down with a little too much force, making her tea slosh over the edge. “She is a deceptive, avaricious, mercenary little—”
“Mom,” Cora interrupted with a shocked laugh before turning to me. “A year after Jake and I married, Troy met Veronika at a fundraiser. They started seeing each other after that. Three months later, he bumped into her at another charity event. Only this time, she was with her fiancé, John Howe.”
I inhaled a shocked breath and gripped the edge of the table, my knuckles turning white.
Susan continued the story. “My son always found it strange that she didn’t like to go out. And when they did, she didn’t like to stay in the city. He thought she was just eccentric. He never imagined it was because she didn’t want to bump into her fiancé and be caught.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered, feeling unease wash over me. “Why would she do that to Troy?” I asked and immediately felt like a fraud. I, more than anyone else, should understand moral ambiguity. Once you stepped over one line, it was easier to step over another one and yet another until you had reached a point of no return.
“My guess was she was after bigger fish. The Howes are affluent, but they might as well be paupers compared to the Westons. I am only grateful he found out before they went too far.” Susan shook her head slowly, her eyes sad. “Troy pretended the experience hadn’t affected him, but a mother can tell. It had hardened him, made him treat women differently.” She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, never disrespectfully. I raised my sons better than that, but Troy seemed determined to date women who were out to use his wealth and status to further their own ambition. It was as if he were deliberately choosing carbon copies of Veronika so that he would be justified in breaking up with them after a few months.”
That green-eyed monster gnawed at my insides. He must have loved her very much to be affected so deeply by her deception. Did he still feel something for the beautiful redhead?
Her eyes misting over, Susan smiled at me. “Until he met you. Now both of my sons are happy. Which is all a mother could ever wish for.” She took a shuddering breath and dabbed her eyes with the corner of her napkin. “Oh…now I’m all weepy.”
“Don’t cry, Mom, or you’re going to set me off,” Cora warned with a sniffle.
That made both of them laugh, but I could only manage a stiff smile. Something dark snaked into my belly.
My story was not the same as Veronika’s, but there were similarities.
Cheating.
Lying.
Sneaking around.
Troy said my past didn’t matter, but would he feel the same way if I told him what I had done? Would he think I was another Veronika, out to trap a rich man? After all, I had a track record. And as Evelyn had pointed out to me countless times, it was in my genes.
I placed my hands in my lap, my fingernails digging painfully into the fleshy part of my palm.
My heart thumping in dread, I considered the best course. If I told Troy everything, what would that do to our relationship? I couldn’t stand it if he viewed me with distrust—or worse, revulsion—but I also didn’t want to hide anything from him. A lifetime of subterfuge had left its scars.
My thoughts running in circles, I was quiet and listless for the rest of the visit. Troy kept shooting me inquiring looks throughout dinner, but I couldn’t shake myself out of my funk.
As soon as we got on the road, Troy reached over to take my hand in his. Now I knew he had gotten his calluses from helping his father with the farm. “Baby, is something wrong?”
I turned to look out the window, staring sightlessly into the darkness. “No. I’m just tired.”
He squeezed my hand. “Come on, baby. I know something is up. Talk to me.”
I rubbed my hand nervously on my jeans and cut him a look. “Your mom told me about Veronika.”
The corners of his mouth tightened as he glanced at me. The light of a passing car bounced off his face, highlighting his knife-like cheekbones and casting his eyes in deep shadow. “I wasn’t trying to keep her a secret from you, baby. Remember, I wanted to tell you that night at the gallery.”
“I know.” I looked out at the road ahead of us.
“Then I don’t understand.” He lifted his hand and rubbed the back of my neck.
I tried to relax into his touch, but my muscles refused to cooperate.
“Baby, look at me.”
At his soft command, I twisted toward him.
Keeping his hand steady on the steering wheel, he swung his gaze to me. “Veronika and I were over a long time ago. If you’re afraid I still harbor feelings for her, get that shit out of your head. She was dead to me the moment I realized she would cheat on her fiancé.”
“Maybe she didn’t mean to cheat,” I said in a quiet voice, knowing I wasn’t trying to justify his ex’s behavior, but my own. “Maybe she fell in love with you and was trying to figure a way to end her previous relationship.”
He made a scornful sound and flicked his eyes to the traffic. “Don’t attribute such noble motives to her. The only thing that woman loved was my bank account. And she had a choice. If she wanted to date me, she should have ended things with John, but instead she snuck around behind his back for months. If Jake hadn’t asked me to attend the charity dinner at the last minute, I’d probably never have found out about her lies.” His jaw was as hard as granite. “Cheaters cheat because they want to, not because circumstances force them to. They don’t have any scruples about hurting peo
ple because all they care about is themselves—their pleasure, their desires. They could make up any excuse they want in their heads, but there is no justification for infidelity in my book.”
I was grateful—so grateful—he couldn’t see me grow paler with every word out of his mouth. If he ever found out how I had been the other woman for a year...I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
He misread my silence and reached over to squeeze my knee. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to go on a rant about Veronika. She doesn’t deserve another thought from either of us. She’s in the past.” He nudged my chin with forefinger. “Okay?”
I had to ask. “Did you love her?”
“No,” he said and I relaxed at his immediate answer. Wrapping his fingers in my hair, Troy leaned over to give me a short, but intense kiss. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, baby.”
At his sweet words, I wanted to burst into tears.
The castle I had been building in my head suddenly turned into a house of cards. One little poke and it would come tumbling down.
As he started to take the route to his apartment, I touched his arm.
“Troy, I can’t stay over tonight.” I spent practically every weekend at his apartment, but I needed to be alone tonight. For the first time, I was glad my small bedroom could only accommodate a full-size bed, making it uncomfortable for Troy to sleep over.
He turned toward me with a frown. “Why?”
Because I needed time to think. Because I might blurt out something I would regret.
“Ethan and I need to go to West Town early to meet a friend,” I said, telling him a version of the truth. A tide of guilt washed over me for lying to him.
“We can pick up Ethan in the morning and I’ll take you guys.”
I closed my eyes, wanting to be held in his arms, but I shook my head. “No, you’re going to be exhausted from all the work you did today. You should sleep in. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done tomorrow.”
He grumbled, but took the exit to my apartment.
When he walked me to my door, I leaned into him and kissed him passionately, unable to dispel the sick feeling in my stomach that something bad was going to happen.