Madeline went on. “You have to wonder if Sherry’s family is cursed. She entered into a taboo relationship with Dave and had a miscarriage with her first child. Didn’t Joel’s wife go and do the exact same thing? What is going on with this family?”
“We’re not jinxed or cursed. We can’t blame any external sources for our mess. Joel and Sherry, you and Dad, and Tamara and I each had our hand in driving this family straight off a cliff. We’ve made choices and decisions that have landed us smack-dab in the middle of chaos. You’d think we’d have learned after you and Dad split.”
Don had to contain his admonishment so that he didn’t sound too confrontational, but it was difficult. He was fed up with the nonsense. “Instead of accepting reality and finding a way to work with Sherry as our stepmother, we treated her and Joel very badly. And after Sam and Andre died, you’d think we’d have figured out as a family how to come together. But no, that wasn’t enough of a lesson. We had to stick to our unforgiving, prideful ways and take our fighting to a grander level after Dad passed. When will it end?”
“I didn’t mean to get you so worked up. I agree that we’ve made some mistakes, but it’s easy for you to point fingers. There is no way you could have expected me to embrace my husband’s mistress after he left me for her.”
Don knew more than his mother realized. Madeline had put Dave out after she became aware of his indiscretion. He’d found out last year that his father didn’t want a divorce. Apparently, Dave had begged Madeline for forgiveness and for an opportunity to restore their family. Madeline wouldn’t hear of it. Her pride kept his father at a distance. When it was clear that Madeline wanted a divorce and a future without him, Dave Mitchell fostered a serious relationship with Sherry a year or two later. His mother had definitely been wronged with his father’s act of adultery, but Madeline had also contributed to the final breakup.
“Nobody is exonerated in this family, including you, Mother. I love you, but you’re not an innocent victim in the scenarios that have played out over the years.”
“Well, easy for you to say, young man. You’ve never been married, and you don’t have to worry about providing for your children and setting an example for them.”
“Maybe not, but we all have to get our priorities right.”
“Now, I can agree with you there.”
“Then you agree that we have to stop fighting over DMI? It’s ripping our family apart.”
“It’s worth fighting for.”
“Not to me. Not any longer. I’m done. If you ask me, maybe we should let DMI go bankrupt.”
“You’re out of your mind,” Madeline replied.
“Seriously, if DMI closes, then there’s nothing to fight over.”
“Well, I can tell you that won’t happen as long as I’m breathing. I’ve worked too hard to build this company. I’m not going to watch it collapse because you’re going through a sentimental patch.”
“Fine. It’s your company to do what you’d like with, only without me. This is it.”
“I get that you’re ready to go, and we’re working on a replacement,” she stated.
“Before, I told you I was leaving, but I never gave you a specific timeframe. I’ve been going back and forth about when to leave. Now I have a plan. I’m resigning in a few weeks, with or without a CEO replacement.”
“Calm down. You’re not going to walk out and leave us in the lurch.”
“Mother, please take me seriously. I mean it. My last day is coming fast. Mark it on your calendar. I have to get out of here. Unless God comes down from heaven and tells me differently, I will soon be out of here. So do whatever you want to confirm my replacement, but be clear. I’m not going to put my future on hold because you want me to follow your plan regardless of what I want. It won’t fly this time.”
“I’m sad that you and Tamara can abandon me so easily.”
Don wasn’t falling for her sad story. Madeline was a survivor. She’d shown resiliency through a multitude of disappointments and adversity. He wasn’t worried about her or DMI. His plan was set, and he was unwavering. He felt good now that he had abandoned his perpetual limbo status. Feelings for Naledi poked at his heart as he anticipated their upcoming reunion. Joy draped his soul.
“You’re my mother, and I love you whether I’m here or in South Africa.”
“Yeah, sure. I see where your heart is, and it sure isn’t here with me.”
“And that’s a good thing, since I’m thirty-five. It’s time to cut the umbilical cord and let me get on with my life. As far as DMI goes, you can either back Abigail or assume the CEO position yourself.”
Don didn’t typically speak so firmly to his mother, but his outlook wasn’t the same. He had realized that something had to change if they wanted a different outcome. He was ready to change, and he hoped his mother was too.
Chapter 34
Since she’d gotten the news last night, Tamara had debated back and forth about going to see Zarah. She wanted to pack up and get out of town immediately, but she didn’t want to leave while Zarah was in the hospital. She fought against the strong urge to bolt and decided to hang around for a few days.
Tossing caution aside, she headed to the hospital. She was on her way up to the maternity ward when it dawned on Tamara that her friend might have been moved to a different ward. Hopefully, the hospital hadn’t left Zarah in the maternity ward, where she would be surrounded by a bunch of giggly mothers cooing over their newborns. The image was uncomfortable even for Tamara. It would have to be unbearable for Zarah. So Tamara went to the nearest courtesy desk to find out where Zarah was.
“Can you please give me the room number for Zarah Mitchell?”
The elderly lady at the courtesy desk typed a few letters on the keyboard and then drew closer to the computer screen. She appeared to be struggling to see clearly.
“She might be in the maternity wing,” Tamara added in an effort to push the search along.
“Did you say Martin?” the lady asked.
Tamara frowned. “No. Mitchell,” Tamara replied and spelled the name.
She was becoming irritated when the elderly lady said, “Oh, I see it. Zebra Mitchell.”
Tamara didn’t bother correcting the lady. She got the number and saw that the room was located in a private wing of the hospital. Tamara’s legs couldn’t get her to the room fast enough. She wanted to see Zarah right away and offer some form of comfort. Suffering in silence after a trauma was quite familiar to Tamara. Being raped and miscarrying a baby weren’t the same, but despair looked alike. Tamara understood the shame and darkness Zarah might be experiencing. When she reached the private wing, Tamara rushed to Zarah’s room and ran into Joel, who was standing outside the room. She tensed.
“Oh, I didn’t know you’d be here,” she told him.
“Where else would I be?”
Tamara wasn’t up for fighting. Her goal was to see her friend and offer support. “I’m not here to cause trouble.”
“Good, because I’m not going to let you,” Joel said, staring at her. “Zarah couldn’t handle that. Me either.”
Tamara remained true to her word by not countering. “How is she doing?”
“As best as can be expected, I guess.” He hesitated. “You know she lost the baby?”
“Yes, and I’m sorry.”
“Thanks,” Joel said in a more cordial than usual tone. “She’ll be glad to see you. Just don’t bring up business.”
“Give me some credit,” Tamara replied.
She entered the room quietly. The shades were drawn, and it felt morbid. She began opening the shades, and Zarah blurted out, “No, please, no light.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, please. No light. I don’t want to see the day.”
Zarah’s grief was thick, and it was almost more than Tamara could handle without slipping into her own despair. She fought against the dark and all it represented, determined to be there for Zarah. It was difficult, and every second
was grueling, but she was determined to remain strong. Putting someone else’s needs above hers was new, and oddly, it gave her a sense of vitality. She mattered in someone else’s life, and it was gratifying. It was rough being in that room, but Tamara felt good. She eased into the darkness and met Zarah in the depths of her despair, feeling connected. Tamara hadn’t lost a child, but cruelty had stolen her innocence. She sat next to the bed and held Zarah’s hand, knowing how it felt to hurt deeply.
“I lost our baby.”
“Shh. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Tamara could hear Zarah whimpering, which prompted her own tears to flow too. She wasn’t sure if she was crying for Zarah or over her own deep-rooted wounds. Either way, this emotional cleansing was necessary. Tamara had been carrying a heavy load lately and needed to put it down. She quietly laid her head on the edge of Zarah’s bed and let their genuine friendship massage her soul. A dab of relief resulted.
Several hours passed before Tamara left. When she did, Zarah was left alone with Joel and her troubled thoughts. Losing the baby was unimaginable, and she was in agony. The threat of her marriage failing was equally as painful. She ached in her heart believing that Joel wasn’t going to stay without a baby to bond them together. She had nothing more to offer him. She wanted to cry but refused to fall apart in Joel’s presence. She took Tamara’s advice from last month to heart: Joel was attracted to a strong, independent woman and not to a weak, crying girl. Her mind wandered until Joel asked her a question.
“Can I get you anything?”
“Yes. Another baby,” was what she wanted to tell him. She resisted and instead decided to speak boldly. She shoved her emotions deep inside and said, “We have no baby.”
“I know,” he immediately answered and stroked her hand.
She withdrew her hand, not wanting to be coddled. She stood on her courage and took control of the conversation. Zarah had to get her concerns out in the open, because she might weaken later. “What will happen with our marriage? I didn’t give you a child.”
Joel winced. “We don’t have to deal with this. You need to rest. It’s been a rough day for you.”
She wouldn’t be discounted. Zarah felt that she deserved an answer and didn’t retreat from their awkward discussion. She’d rather get all her unpleasant news in the same day, instead of being bombarded day after day. She swallowed her pride and pressed for answers.
“I want to know if you will stay in the marriage without a baby.”
“I told you we don’t have to talk about this.”
“But we must,” she said, raising her voice, causing Joel to sit up in his seat. “I must know if I am to be your wife.”
“What’s the hurry? Why are you so determined to discuss this right now, when you clearly have not fully recovered from the miscarriage.”
“Because it is too much worry for me not to know.”
She felt there was no cause for Joel to stay in the marriage. He wasn’t happy with her, but given time and a family, Zarah believed Joel would have found contentment. She wrenched her hands and looked away from Joel. Her emotions were kicking and shoving their way to the surface. Loneliness crept in. There were no parents sitting by her side, no siblings, no baby, and no husband. The sheer burden of living alone was crippling. She wanted to die and would have prayed to the gods for a gentle passing, but Zarah didn’t want to dishonor her father’s name with such a selfish act. She’d hold on a while longer.
Joel patted her hand, and her gaze slowly returned to meet his. “Don’t you worry about anything, just rest.”
Just then Sherry walked into the room. She had been to the hospital earlier and had gone home for a short period. “I’m back,” Sherry said, approaching the bed and Zarah. “How’s our patient doing?” she said in such a pleasant voice that Zarah began to relax.
They spoke for a few minutes, and then the room quieted and the shades were drawn. Zarah slipped into a slumber.
“She’s finally resting,” Sherry whispered to Joel after they moved away from the bed. “That’s good. That’s what she needs most, rest for her body.”
Joel beckoned for his mother to follow him into the hallway, and she did. “What about her feelings for the baby?” he asked.
“That will come later,” Sherry said. “Trust me when I tell you that it will take time for her to recover. Really, you never recover, but she can learn to live with it, especially if the two of you work on getting pregnant again right away.”
Joel stared at his mother. They hadn’t gotten over this child. Who was talking about another one so soon? “I don’t think you can replace one baby with another.”
“No, you’re right. You can’t. But her pain can be lessened if she’s supported by a husband who loves her and wants to build a family with her.”
Joel couldn’t tell if his mother was fishing for an answer. If she was, he couldn’t give her one. Twenty-four hours ago he had been in line for the CEO position at DMI and had been committed to the loving husband and father role. Things had changed dramatically. He didn’t have a job prospect or a child on the way, factors that previously gave him a reason for staying in Detroit and in his awkward marriage. He was gravely disappointed about both unfortunate situations and wondered if this was a sign for him to return to Chicago and start over.
Joel leaned his head back against the wall and bent his leg backward, his foot pressing lightly against the wall. He wrestled with his marital situation. “Can you stay with Zarah? I want to go home and get cleaned up. I’ve been here all day.”
“Of course. Go. I’ll be here until you get back.”
“I’ll take only a few hours.” He hoped that was the case. There was no guarantee how long it would take for him to gain peace of mind amid his rapidly fluctuating set of circumstances.
“No rush. Take as long as you need. I’ll be here. We’ll be fine.”
Joel believed that his mother and Zarah would be fine. Would he be fine? That was the question.
Chapter 35
When the sunlight burst into his room, Joel was sprawled out on top of the bedcovers and fully dressed. He woke slowly and got up fifteen minutes later. Unfortunately, a night’s rest hadn’t brought him any clarity about his marriage. He wanted to erase yesterday and start over, since much of it was a blur. When he’d returned to the hospital last night to relieve his mother, Joel had stayed until Zarah was sound asleep around ten thirty. Afterwards he’d gone straight home and collapsed on the bed. He’d intended on getting to the hospital early this morning but the energy wasn’t there.
Joel tried to force himself to stand, without success. He wasn’t in the right mindset to sit in that hospital room with Zarah. She was bound to ask questions he couldn’t answer. Joel mulled over his predicament and came up with no answers. He sat on the edge of the bed and slumped over. He yearned for some good news and a break.
After several minutes, Joel glanced at his watch and jumped up. He darted into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He had fifty minutes to get dressed and drive to Greater Faith Chapel if he wanted to make the 11:00 a.m. service. Joel hurried, exhibiting more vigor for attending a church service than he could recall having in years. There was something drawing him to Greater Faith. He had prayed but hadn’t heard from God. He’d go the extra step and meet the Lord in His house. Confusion was debilitating, and he’d had enough. It was time to get clarity.
Fifteen minutes later Joel was straightening his tie as he fired up his Range Rover. He cruised to church, anxious to receive whatever God had for him. Joel was like a kid waking up to an array of gifts on Christmas morning. He could hardly wait to park and get inside the building. He had serious business to handle, and peace was calling his name. Joel wasn’t leaving Greater Faith until he got a breakthrough.
“Good morning,” a greeter said as Joel entered the vestibule. Joel had been to the church on several occasions alone, plus a few times with Abigail. Each visit had netted him valuable advice from
a very special person. Mother Emma Walker was a tiny woman who packed a wallop in terms of wisdom and encouragement. She often spoke in rhymes. Joel didn’t always understand her right away, but when he reflected on her message later, it made sense. Joel wasn’t ashamed to admit he was desperate for a word. He lingered in the lobby, secretly hoping she was at church and would run into him.
“Excuse me. Is Mother Walker here yet? I’d like to see her,” he asked the greeter.
“You mean Big Mama?”
“Right.” Joel remembered the name that most people affectionately called Mother Walker, but he felt awkward addressing her by a nickname when she was so much older.
“She’s around here somewhere. Service is starting in five minutes. If you’d like to go in, I’ll be sure to let Big Mama know you asked to see her.”
Joel had come to church with the intent of meeting the Lord and getting a revelation before the service ended. But Mother Walker was a strong backup, as Joel was convinced that the church mother had a direct line to God. Waiting to see her after church meant fidgeting through a two-hour service. He needed only ten minutes with her. Somebody had to find her.
“I’d prefer to see her now, if possible, unless she’s already gone inside.”
The greeter peered around the lobby. “Have you seen Big Mama?” he asked a fellow wearing a name badge.
“We just finished praying with the pastor in his office. She’s on her way out.”
Joel’s face lit up. He struggled to contain his excitement. In the blink of a moment, there she was, in the flesh. He froze, much like a groupie at a concert, until Mother Walker approached him.
“My, my, my,” she chanted. “Look what’s done blown our way.” She stretched her torso upward, and he got the hint and bent down and gave the church mother a hug. “It sho’ is good seeing you in church. Praise the Lord. He is worthy.”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.
“Sure you can. What’s on your mind?”
Joel took the mother’s hand and led her off to the side. The greeters cleared the lobby, as service was beginning.
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