She stared at me long and hard.
I fought the urge to chew on my lip. Something about the way she looked at me thickened the air and my breaths grew shallow. It had been a long time since Ella sized me up and to describe how it made me feel, as uncomfortable would be a gross understatement. Her piercing blue eyes generated a sense of painful distrust and curiosity.
She exhaled and the tension left her body. A strained but genuine smile arched across her face, “What would I do without you?”
I shrugged my shoulders and tried to smile, “find another gorgeous blond to steal your covers?”
“Oh, gorgeous is it?” Ella moved to me, slid her arm around my waist and pulled me in close, inches from kissing me. “I don’t know, maybe I’d find a gorgeous redhead instead.”
“As if,” I rolled my eyes and planted a kiss on her lips.
And then the moment was gone. As we pulled apart and faced the door the thick air swirled around us, and though the liquid in our armor kept us cool and refreshed, a sticky heat settled.
“You don’t have to do this,” Ella stared ahead unable to look me in the eye.
I took her hand in mine and squeezed. My heart demanded I support her but screamed for me to change directions all at once, as my mind continued to rationalize our impending action, “Neither do you.”
She squeezed my hand back once and then let go, “Yes I do.” She stepped through the door into the cool white hallway, with its blinding lights, and I followed. “I’m the Captain of the Queen’s Guard. It’s everything I’ve ever worked for, the culmination of my life.”
“You could be something else,” I followed and stared at my feet. My mind settled on the rhythmic beat of our heels on the hard black tile floor. “We could be something else.”
Ella sighed but pressed on, “What would you have me do?” she whispered as though the walls had ears. “Save the child? Throw away our lives? We’d never escape Serine’s wrath. We’d be dead in moments.” She shook her head and rested her hand on the sword hilt at her waist.
Dílseacht, it means loyalty.
“They’re right, it has to die,” Ella’s back straightened and she stuck her chest out, chin up, and shoulders back. “If word got out that a male child was not only born, but lived there’d be panic in the streets. I don’t know if the stories are true, but fear of men has been so ingrained in the thoughts of society fear would take over.” As she spoke the faint quiver in her voice faded, and was replaced by an iron resolve. “And the rebels at our borders would use it as a rallying cry, they’d scream that even the universe demands change.” She came to a halt and spun on her heels to face me. Her wet eyes burned with a fiery dedication. “We are Queen’s Guard, sworn to protect her grace, and the safety of this realm. This is our duty.”
Though the tears welled up in her eyes gave me a glimpse at the torture rack her soul was bound to, her voice sent a chill down my spine. Ella was gone, replaced by Captain Alessandra Celeste, and there would be no more room for dispute. I clapped my heels together, stood up straight, and pressed my right fist to my chest, “Yes Captain.”
“Good, let’s go.”
We made the rest of the trip in silence. At the end of the hall we boarded the security elevator and took it to the sixth floor, Science and Medicine. Silence the whole way.
Sylvia Myst stood sentry at the Science floor elevator. She too, had lost the pajamas and donned her uniform, but instead of a sword she held a short spear rested on the ground. The tip sparkled red with star stone, as did the black tower shield strapped across her back. We passed her without a word, but we exchanged a head nod. I believed not a soul in the castle had the stomach for what must be done.
At the door to the small room where our victim laid sleeping I came to a stop. My heart pounded against my breast bone and all the saliva had retreated from my mouth. “I’ll wait here,” I rasped.
“No,” Ella rested her forehead against the pure white door. Everything about our surroundings seemed pure and sterile. We’d passed room after room full of bright lights and polished silver tables, tools, and fixtures. “I want you in there,” Ella sighed and shook her head, which smeared the clean polished door with her sweat. “I need you with me.”
I placed my hand on her shoulder, a delicate gentle gesture to reassure her and give her the strength to carry on. If only I’d had someone to do the same for me. The black pit at the center of my stomach reared its ugly head and spat bile up my throat. Fate conspired to put me in that room one way or another. I’d never planned on witnessing the actual act but fate rarely gives a fuck what you planned. “I’ll do anything for you. You know that.”
She reached around and gripped the hand I’d placed on her shoulder. A quiver ran through her and danced up my arm, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
With that, Ella popped the latch and swung the door open. The room before us looked no different than the others we’d went past. The walls were a solid unwavering shade of the purest white, and a row of spotless silver tables bordered one whole wall. Above us was an observation room that was entirely empty. Apparently no one wanted to witness the death of a baby, go figure. Big talk, no walk. The big shots always leave the dirty work to those below them. In fact the only different thing about the room was the little bundle of joy lying in the center of one of those soulless silver tables wrapped in a white blanket. Before we even moved, it stretched its tiny arms and legs and yawned, eyes closed. It looked like every other baby I’d ever seen, except for the extra appendage between its legs. Every last ounce of air in my body evacuated the premises and left me clinging to the door frame. Even Ella was frozen in her tracks.
“Ella…”
She held up her hand to silence me but kept her eyes focused on the tiny helpless life before us, “We have… orders.” The tremble in her body made her voice come out in a low vibrato.
“We can’t…” my voice barely registered above a whisper and my eyes burned.
She stepped forward and drew her sword slowly, “We have to do what we have to do.”
I pulled myself away from the door and my feet carried me toward the table against my will. As I approached the baby my hands developed a mind of their own and they reached out and caressed his tiny hand. He could barely move and he was so wrinkly and adorable, already my chest felt warm and I hardly realized how hard my heart slammed into my chest, or how fast it did so. And then he grasped my pinky finger with his little hand. I could barely feel it but it was the most magical feeling I’d ever experienced.
“Linsey, step away.”
Fate. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I recall how the salt made them itch and burn. My hands trembled and I couldn’t pull my eyes away from him. He clung to my finger as if clinging to life itself. I heard her voice flow through the air. I remember how much I loved the sound of it, the way she’d whisper in my ear her naughty thoughts, or how she’d simply say, “I love you,” when times were hard. I could recall every time she’d soothed me with her words and every time she’d driven me into a battle rage during practice. There was no such thing as a time that I didn’t love the sound of her voice. Even then as my heart broke I loved the sound of her voice, full of tears and a shake that went to the very core of her. The dark pit in my stomach swirled and gurgled, it spat fire through my veins, not a passionate fire or a loving fire, not the kind of fire that sustained life, but the kind of fire that consumed, the fires of fate.
No other words came. The next sound I heard was the whoosh of her sword as it cut through the air.
Once again my hands reacted without my input. It was all a blur. Somehow I’d moved quick enough to draw my sword and catch hers inches from his small neck. I stared at the point where our swords crossed and swallowed deep gulps of air. My whole body shook and so did hers. Our swords trembled against each other and little sparks danced in the air. I tilted my head to look at her.
Tears ran down her face and he
r eyes were glazed over. Her soft round face was relaxed and her heavy breathing sounded relieved, but there was no smile. There was nothing in her eyes but sorrow.
CHAPTER FIVE
“Come with me,” I kept my sword up to hold Ella’s at bay.
She tried to smile but the quiver in her lips forbade it. The harsh white light glistened off the tears in her eyes. I could feel her weakness through the connection of our blades. Her heart wasn’t in it. “I can’t.”
Until that moment, fate had been a cruel and malicious entity of life altering fury, but as my heart sank I understood the dark pit in my stomach. There was no black sludge or slimy bile, nor was there an angry hand hell bent on squeezing the life from my body. The sad truth was that the dark pit was emptiness. I’d lost a part of myself. I gazed into Ella’s mesmerizing blue eyes. The part I lost, “Please…”
Ella’s sword lazed against my own. Even the tiny red sparks that danced in the air as star stone scraped against star stone looked dull and lifeless, “But I don’t think I can stop you either.”
I slid my free hand underneath the helpless child and eased him into my chest. The warmth of his body and the quiet pulse of his life force did nothing to slow the block of ice that formed around my heart, “Ella…” My frail voice, so soft, so desperate, begged, though I doubted she could hear me.
She dropped her sword and collapsed. The star stone blade skittered against the polished silver table and red sparks flew into the air. Ella caught herself on the table and held herself up with firmly planted hands, but her face was down and her long black hair concealed it. She cried, and I wondered if I’d ever see her eyes again, her soul. “Go Linsellya, go…”
And so I did, with the babe held tight to my chest and my sword in hand.
* * * * *
Sylvia Myst stood before me and my escape. I’d never intended to take the elevator out. I knew they’d cut the power and my flight would end. However, while Ella and I tended to the child Sylvia had taken up a post at the main doors of the Infirmary, which cut off the route to the stairs. When she first saw me she smiled, but that smile turned to cautious confusion within a beat of my broken racing heart.
Sadness, pure and simple, settled around me. I hugged the child as close to my breast as motherly possible and positioned my sword in the guard position in front of my face. Don’t do it, Syl, please just let me pass…
Sylvia’s movements were timid, but she pulled the tower shield from her back and let it fall into place on her left forearm and laid the shaft of her spear through the groove on its side.
Dammit
“Linsey? What are you doing?”
“I’m taking this child away from this madness.”
“But the Queen’s orders,” Sylvia shifted into a crouch and placed herself in the direct center of my path. “I don’t like it any more than anyone else, but it must be done. Leave the child and I swear, I will speak no word of this”
I looked down at the pudgy wrinkled face cuddled against my shoulder, somehow sound asleep and shook my head. It was right, I don’t know how or why I knew that, but at the deepest level of my being I knew it. I liked Sylvia, but she’d chosen the wrong side, “Sylvia Myst, move, or I will move you.”
Sylvia swallowed hard and sweat beaded her brow and her close cropped snow white hair shone with it as well, “They say you’re as good as Ella. Is Ella dead?”
Her words struck with more pain and force than any blow from her spear could ever manage, because in a way, the answer was yes. I pointed my sword at her and
lifted my chin. The Queen’s Guard was the most well trained fighting force in the Queendom, but they’d never been trained to kill one of their own. In most ways Sylvia was my equal, but I could sense the doubt in her. Ella had taught me long ago that your opponent’s fear was your sharpest weapon. As much as it pained me to do so, I knew letting her think I’d killed Ella, would guarantee my victory. Sylvia took one deep breath and charged me.
I’d not expected that. Generally when someone wields a shield their primary offense is a strong defense. I leaped back against the wall and deflected her first thrust, which she’d aimed directly at the child in my arms.
She threw a left cross with her shield as though it were a perfect extension of her arm.
I barely got my shoulder up in time to catch the brunt of the blow. The edge of the star stone shield easily ripped my tunic and the liquid tactical armor underneath. I fell into the wall and started rolling down the length of it.
Sylvia kept the pressure on. She’d thrust with her spear, spin into a backhand with the flat of her shield, and finish with a low spear sweep meant to immobilize me.
I rolled away from every blow as they tore the wall where I’d been to pieces. The child in my arms woke up in the midst of it all and wailed into my ear, but his cries served to spur me on. At the end of the hall I recovered enough to block the low sweep and drove my sword shoulder into Sylvia’s sternum.
She toppled back several steps, but managed to use her spear as a support and regained her balance far quicker than I’d hoped.
I seized the opening and put her on the defensive. With the child in my arms I had no other options available but to use a fencing approach, full of lunges, thrusts, and short slashes.
Sylvia was right at home on the defensive. She absorbed every thrust with her shield, parried every lunge with her spear, and either deflected or dodged every short slash with minimal effort. We circled each other, neither prepared to yield.
Dammit! My breath came in shallow controlled spurts, but the exertion of child protection and waging a full blown attack piled up quick. I backed away but kept my sword at the ready. Okay Linsey… what do you know?
Sylvia kept an even pace as she bobbed from one foot to the other and filled the entire hall, a tactic designed to prevent me from getting past her. Any doubt or confusion she’d begun with was absent from her face. The battle lust was upon her. She struck like a snake, quick and out of nowhere, with one long fully extended jab.
I danced to the side and avoided it. Okay, so she has no intention of letting me catch my breath, I didn’t figure she would. So think fast.
Another snake like strike nearly took my head off.
Range and defense, those are the names of her game.
And another snake strike rocketed in aimed at my right thigh.
I stepped back to avoid it, because if I’d sidestepped or tried to jump it, she’d have turned her spear into a hook and the battle would have ended. I rebounded off the wall behind me and glanced at the child in my arms to make sure he was still alive. Of course he was, I don’t know how I’d missed the crying, I must have been lost in battle lust as well. The baby is my weakness. As soon as I realized that, I knew how to win the fight.
Sylvia struck out again with a long fully extended jab.
This time I side stepped and rolled down the shaft of her spear. As I spun into her I lifted my sword for the strongest one armed slash I could muster.
She saw my plan two moves ahead and lifted her shield.
Sadly, I’d been playing three moves ahead. I kept spinning, but dropped to one knee, which brought me down to her waist level. When she’d brought her shield up to protect her face, she’d also blocked her line of sight. As I drew close to the floor I let the child slip from grasp as softly as I could and took my sword with both hands. A one handed slash would never have the control I needed to end the fight. She never saw it coming when my heavy slash caught her just above the hip. The star stone blade sliced through the tunic and liquid tactical armor as though it was paper, and I rose into the slash, well inside her shield. My sword followed my rise and I left a deep gash from her hip to her opposite shoulder blade. The fight was over.
She looked at me in disbelief, but there was admiration in her eyes as well. Her spear and shield fell to the floor and filled the hall with an ear wincing clatter. She followed her weapons to the floor.
I sheathed my sword and knelt beside her. She looked as though she slept on crimson sheets. My whole life revolved around training and perfecting my fighting skills, but until that moment I’d never taken a life. The dark pit in my stomach grew. I’d learned to live for the battle lust and thrive in its power and glory, but until then I’d never reached the pay off. The payoff sucked. There was no epic finale, no guttural death screech. Sylvia Myst, simply ceased being alive. I wiped my hand over her face to close her eyes. Goddess, accept your fallen daughter into your arms.
* * * * *
The sound of my heavy boots on the stairs and my ragged breathing filled the stairwell with a rhythmic beat, it was almost music. The child was once again sound asleep against my breast. I’d taken Sylvia’s tunic and made a makeshift pouch to carry him, so I could have the use of both of my hands, but I ran into no more trouble on the way out. I don’t know how you do it kid, must be nice to be so peaceful.
At the bottom I slammed my shoulder into the door and rushed into the frigid night air. On the surface the barrier does a poor job of keeping the sub-arctic weather at bay.
Have you ever been so cold that your limbs refuse to work? Imagine if that feeling of coldness happened instantly, and you’ll know how I felt as soon as I stepped through that door. Thankfully my adrenaline was still boiling in my blood, or I’m not sure I’d have made it. Escape, is the thought that had settled in the center of my mind. I didn’t know it at the time, but in the back of my mind a great dread was already building, the dread of making it to a point where I could stop and think.
Side Stories - The Linsey Ashguard Books: A Dystopian Sci-Fi Fantasy (War of the Tarot Extended Universe Book 1) Page 3