by Jenny Penn
To be worthy of her.
Angie’s own words echoed scathingly through her head as she remembered telling both brothers she was too good for them. She’d been half joking and half responding out of annoyance, but she wondered if her words hadn’t been truer than she’d wanted to admit.
The truth was that she did think a lot of herself, but she’d always considered herself confident, not vain. It was clear now, though, that had been a defense mechanism against all the teasing and patronizing responses people gave her simply because she was different. Angie believed in dreams.
Didn’t she?
That was a question that kept her occupied through most of the day as she went about her tasks with little thought for them. The only conclusion she could come to was that she wanted to believe in them. If she believed strongly enough, they would come true.
That thought had her glancing across her desk later that afternoon at where Lana sat, her hair pinned up and her features furled into a frown as she studied the schedule before her. Lana seemed to become aware of Angie’s scrutiny slowly. Her chin lifted reluctantly as her gaze shifted up to meet Angie’s. They held each other’s stare for a moment before Lana broke down and asked the obvious question.
“What? Do I have something on my face? Is my hair out of place? What?”
“Do you think I’m being stupid?”
“What?” Lana reeled backward as she shook her head. “No, and I have no idea what you are talking about…unless you’re talking about Brett and Mike, again.”
Angie sighed, her shoulders slumping with guilt as Lana rolled her eyes.
“I should have known.” Lana offered Angie a half-smile that was filled with pity. “Look, Angie, maybe you should stop trying to tie yourself up into knots and just accept that you were happier with them than you are without them.”
Angie blinked at that, wishing it were that easy. “Life isn’t that simple.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” Lana shrugged. “But you know what Patton has that I don’t? I mean besides Chase. She’s willing to fight for her happiness, and I never did. Now look at where we are.”
Angie wanted to tell her friend that she could fight now, that it wasn’t too late, but she couldn’t because if Lana tried she’d end up crushed. It was too late. Chase belonged to Patton.
“I’m wasting time, aren’t I?”
Lana nodded sadly. “And you’re letting life make the decision for you. Destiny has to be a choice, otherwise it’s a shackle.”
Hadn’t she thought the same thing just recently? Destiny had to be a choice and Angie was making hers. She was in love with Hailey’s brothers. That was what that. Angie simply decided to love them, but the truth was that if she wasn’t capable of loving them then she wouldn’t, but she did.
Who really cared how or why Angie had come to feel that way? It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she did love them. As for her feelings of superiority? She’d let that be their problem. Angie had no doubt that Brett and Mike would find a suitable way to dissuade her of that notion. More importantly, these past two weeks they’d already proven that they would be willing to try.
Maybe it was time to prove she was, too, and she knew just how to prove it.
* * * *
“Is everything ready?” Mike asked for like the millionth time, making Brett glower as he glared at his brother.
“Doesn’t it look ready?” Brett demanded to know. He was tired of saying yes. Even more tired of Mike’s fussiness, which seemed never ending.
“I don’t know,” Mike muttered as he glanced around. “Do you think it’s enough? Or maybe too much? What if all these candles start a fire? We don’t even technically own the property yet.”
“Would you stop!” Brett grabbed his head, trying to contain the pounding that was beating through his skull. This was all Mike’s fault. “All damn day. Good God, man, it’s been all damn day! Don’t you think blue would be better than red? Do they make blue flowers? I don’t know, maybe we should go with pink? Do you think crystals or glass? Balloons? Streamers? Blankets or quilts? Should we right her name in the sky? What about serenading her? Ahhh! I can’t take it!”
Brett bugged his eyes out with that last proclamation as he pinned his brother with a crazy stare that Mike met with a frown and a touch of annoyance sharpening his own tone.
“You don’t have to be all melodramatic about it. I just want everything to be perfect.”
“Why?” Brett shot back. “It’s not like Angie’s perfect.”
“I’m going to tell her you said that.”
“Go ahead, as long as that means we’re moving past the decorating stages.”
Because Brett was not a decorator, and no matter how much sparkle and bling Mike tried to drape the old barn in, it still smelled and looked very much like a ruin. It was not what he’d call romantic, but he didn’t doubt a woman would. They went in for effort, and the barn clearly looked as though it had taken a lot of effort.
“Fine,” Mike snapped. “Then the next stage would actually be going to get the damn woman.”
Yes, it would. After two weeks without Angie, Brett was damn anxious to see her once again. Anxious and not moving. Neither was Mike. Instead, they stood there staring at each other at the revelation that now was finally the moment of truth. They’d either succeed in wooing her or…
“What are we going to do if she says no?” Mike whispered, giving voice to the very fear that had lingered between them all week.
Brett had only one answer. “Then we ask her again…maybe in a hot air balloon with streamers hanging down.”
“We could send an elephant to pick her up and have her arrive like she was on her way to a wedding.” Mike perked up.
“You are not marching an elephant down my streets,” Alex broke in, startling both brothers with his sudden appearance. He was standing in the open barn door, glancing around with a funny look on his face. “This place looks like some three-year-old with a pink princess obsession went on a tear through here. I thought this was supposed to be some kind of gym.”
“It will be,” Brett assured the sheriff, though he didn’t seem to convince him.
“Yeah, right.” Alex smirked. “That’s why your business partner is named Kitty Anne.”
“Was there something you wanted?” Mike asked with clear exasperation. “Or are you just here to annoy us?”
“Well, actually, I do have a purpose.” Alex pinned Mike with a hard look as his smile faded away. “I’ve been informed by Heather that she was in possession of a flash drive that you and Patton are searching for. Though I’m not sure if I believe her. I mean, you teaming up with crazy—”
“It was a fake.” Mike cut off Alex’s wandering tale. “The Davis boys slipped Patton bad information just to mess with her.”
“Hmm.”
“What? Hmm?” Mike scowled. “Don’t you believe me?”
“Yeah, but that begs the question about where the drive is and who would have taken it,” Alex pointed out.
“I guess those are your problems, and as you can see, we have our own to attend to.” Brett nodded to the pink palace behind him. “You think Angie will like it?”
“I think it smells like shit in here.” Alex glanced around before shrugging. “But I’m not a woman. To them, it’s the thought that counts.”
That was pretty much Brett’s theory, too.
“Anyway, if that’s all you know about the drive, I’ll get out and leave you two to whatever this is.” Alex turned but paused to glance back and offer them one final bit of advice. “If you ever do get rid of the pink and actually turn this place into a gym, you should try to get a contract with the city council. I’ve been lobbying them for years to set up a gym for the deputies. I bet they’d pay for the membership if you cut them a deal.”
“Thanks, man.” Mike nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Both brothers watched the sheriff saunter off back to his patrol car. He pulled around in the big dirt yard
and out onto the highway with a final honk of his horn. Mike and Brett waved back and waited until the sound of Alex’s engine had faded into the darkening night.
“Well?” Mike looked over at Brett. “You figure out yet how we’re going to go get our girl?”
“Yep.” Brett smirked, enjoying what came next. “Let’s blow out the candles and get dressed because we’re about to infiltrate the Cattleman’s Club.”
* * * *
They needn’t have bothered with getting all dressed up and going through any effort to get past the club’s front gate and into the main lodge. Not only was there no real security, they weren’t barred from coming into the club in the first place.
Mike didn’t point out that fact to Brett, though. His brother seemed to enjoy pretending he was executing some kind of high-risk operation. The only risk here was that Angie would refuse to go with them, but Mike already had a surefire way to keep her from saying no. He was going to stick his tongue in her mouth. He figured, as long as he was kissing her, Angie couldn’t object, except to the kiss, which Mike was certain she wouldn’t do.
Of course that didn’t mean things were going to be easy because the hard part turned out to be finding Angie. According to Lana, she wasn’t working and hadn’t been seen in hours. With that news, and assuming she was out with Hailey or Patton or some other girlfriend, they’d retreated to her room to surprise Angie when she returned.
Only she didn’t return, and by midnight, Mike and Brett started to get alarmed. They started calling around and found out that nobody had seen Angie that day. Everybody was kind of annoyed that they’d waited until that late to call.
It felt like déjà vu, a test by fate that they dared not fail. Neither was in agreement on what to do. Brett kept trying to call her, but she wasn’t answering. So he decided to set up camp and flopped down on her bed to take a nap, leaving Mike to do whatever he wanted.
He wanted to start calling every hospital and police station around to assure nothing bad had happened to Angie, but he curbed that impulse, certain it was a leftover feeling of the panic that came from caring about another person. If he wanted to move past those frantic thoughts, then he’d just have to ignore them.
Mike would act sane, normal even. Maybe one day he would be both of those things again. Then he’d feel like himself again. It had been a long time since he’d felt like that. Years even. That revelation depressed the shit out of him.
By the time he’d made it back to town, he didn’t feel much like doing anything but settling down onto the couch and drinking himself into a stupor. That probably was, sadly, a normal thing to do, even if it probably wasn’t emotionally healthy.
Mike debated that silently as he turned into his neighborhood. He didn’t have an answer by the time he pulled into the drive, but he forgot the question at the sight of Angie's car parked in his space. Perking up at that sight, he wondered if maybe life hadn’t finally cut him a break as he blocked her in and hopped out of the cab. The answer to that question was yes.
That was clear the second he shoved into the kitchen and found the table set for a romantic, candlelit meal and a dinner that still smelled delicious hours later. That was when he realized that fate hadn’t really cut him a break. Nope. Instead, the truth was he’d screwed up again because, clearly, Angie had been planning a surprise that he and Brett had ruined once again.
Maybe that explained why she wasn’t waiting there with the plates and dishes. Mike didn’t find Angie in either bedroom but passed out on the couch in the living room. Curled up on her side, she looked like an angel in a lace dress that clung to her lush curves in a way that would tempt any man into sinful thoughts.
Only a man who loved her, though, would feel more guilt than lust as he knelt down beside her to take in the tired rings around her eyes. Apparently, Angie hadn’t been getting any more sleep than him these days. Maybe that was what they needed. A good night’s rest.
That thought brought a smile to Mike’s lips as he brushed a wayward strand of hair back from Angie’s pale cheek. She murmured, turning into the gentle caress as the thick forest of her lashes fluttered upward. She blinked sleepily up at him with a sweetness that made his heart clench.
“Mike?”
“Shh,” he whispered back as he shifted, allowing his arms to slide beneath her and roll her into his embrace. “Go back to sleep.”
“Mmm,” Angie moaned softly as he hoisted her up and began carrying her off to her bedroom. She burrowed her face deeper into his chest as she murmured tiredly. “I made dinner.”
“I know.” Mike kept his voice pitched low as he made his way through the dark house.
“It was good.”
“I’m sure it was.”
“It was supposed to be a surprise.” There was a slight hint of sadness mixed in with that wishful whisper.
“It was,” Mike assured her as he finally shouldered his way past her door and into her room.
“But I wanted to show you that I could do normal.” Angie sighed as Mike settled her down onto her bed. She breathed in deep and let out one final deep breath, along with a last mumbled confession. “I’m not crazy.”
Mike stood there staring down at Angie as she passed back out, amazed by her comment. Angie definitely was crazy. The right kind of crazy. The silly kind. The fun kind. The kind that made him smile and laugh.
So why wasn’t he happy?
Chapter 23
Thursday, July 16th
Angie woke up the next morning with a thick set of arms wrapped tightly around her. She was snuggled tight against a hard chest and knew instinctively it was Mike. Only he would tighten his hold and try to keep her close as she turned to face him.
His eyes were wide open with no hint of sleep lingering on his features. Angie stared up at him, admiring the sheer perfection of his face. There were nicks and scars, and his brows had a funny little curl to them that was all Mike, just like the frown that settled over them.
Brett and Mike might have been born a carbon copy of each other, but they’d grown into two distinct men. If it had been Brett holding her this close, Angie had no doubt she’d already be sweaty and moaning, but Mike just studied with an intensity that left her slightly unnerved.
“How long have you been awake?” Angie asked, her voice rough and raspy with the sleep still tugging at her senses.
“I never went to sleep,” Mike answered, his own whisper thick with a huskiness that was equal parts want and hardness.
“Oh.”
Angie wasn’t certain what to say about that, but she could sense that Mike had been doing more than simply holding her through the night. There was an intensity to his gaze that assured her deep thoughts were swirling within him, but she didn’t dare press, not wanting to force him to be anything other than what he was. Mike would share that with her when he was ready, not when she made him.
That was a lesson that had taken Angie years to learn and even longer to accept, but now she got it. She wanted to be loved unconditionally but had put conditions on her own affections. That hadn’t been right. That was what was really eating at her.
“You don’t have to marry me.”
With those six words, she gave Mike back his freedom, but he didn’t celebrate with a smile or even a look of relief. Instead, he offered her his own confession and about broke Angie’s heart with it.
“I’m not a good man, Angie.” Mike paused, adding a weight to his words that assured Angie he meant every single one. “I’ve done horrible things. Things that I can’t escape, that I can’t forget. They’ve eaten away at me, and as much as I want to be the man you fell in love with all those years ago, I don’t think I ever will be again.”
Angie felt the tears flood her eyes as she watched him struggle with those truths. It made her ache to watch him suffer so, especially because she knew she couldn’t simply take away the pain. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t be there for him to help carry it. Swallowing back the pity that she knew he’d never accep
t, Angie spoke up, offering him what she could.
“And I’m not the girl you left all those years ago. Nobody stays the same, but that doesn’t mean that our love doesn’t grow with us.” Reaching up to cup his cheek, Angie offered Mike a small smile as he turned into her touch, seeking what comfort she could offer.
“And did it?” Mike’s lashes lifted to reveal the hope that he dared to cling to as he gazed down at her. “Did it grow, Angie?”
“Stronger every day,” she assured him.
Angie caught a flash of relief in Mike’s gaze seconds before his lips settled over hers, breaking her mouth open so that his tongue could lay claim to her with a hunger that left Angie shaken. She could sense the frantic desperation in his kiss. There was no skill, no gentleness, no hesitation to the hands that began to tear the clothes clean from her body. The emotions pouring through him were too volatile to be tamed.
Angie didn’t even try. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Mike’s neck and clung to him, allowing him to take what he needed because it was what she wanted. She’d ached for him every day she’d been gone, dreamt of him every night. Not just him, but Angie didn’t have the time or the breath to question where Brett was.
Mike was on the move, his lips following the trail of his hands. He nibbled his way down Angie’s neck, scraping his teeth against her sensitive skin and making her shiver and arch up into the wet, suckling kisses he shifted to as he began to trace the flushed, swollen globes of her breasts. Around one, then the other, higher and higher, he treated her to a slow devouring that had her nipples straining and puckering with anticipation of the lips coming ever closer.
It felt as if her whole world was focused on the slow, sensual march of his mouth. Angie’s breath caught, her muscles tensed, and she quivered with expectation. Yet, she was still caught off guard by the sudden rush of lust that consumed her the second his lips finally broke over her tit.