by A L Miller
“So, Patrick. What exactly was it you wanted to talk about?”
He clears his throat, “I just really wanted to see you. You look good, you know. Are you doing good? This place seems to suit you.”
I take another sip of my tea. “Yeah, I’m doing good. I like it here and fit in better here. This place has really become my home over the years. Are you doing good?”
His smile falls. “No, I mean depends on what you mean by doing good. I got a great job, a great apartment and great friends and all that jazz but something is missing.”
“Well, sounds like you are doing good for yourself. Whatever it is you think you are missing, I doubt it’s here in this town.”
He glances at his coffee cup and then back at me. “That’s the thing, I think it is here. I think that thing missing is something I made the mistake of letting go years ago. I think the thing missing in my life is you.”
I suddenly see red, this guy can’t be serious. Something just isn’t adding up here. Why now? Am I really supposed to believe he grew into this different person? I could never trust him again and the feelings I once had for him left the moment he walked away from me because it was too hard for him. Being with me became too hard, and he couldn’t do it anymore. What if being with me becomes too hard again.
I reach for my tea and his hand lands on mine. “Please, Danny. Just hear me out okay.”
What else is there I need to hear? He has been speaking complete bullshit this whole time, and I am quite done with this conversation. His eyes move from me to something behind me, when I turn to look, I spot Cole standing behind me with a look of furry. Instead of saying anything, he turns around and storms out of the coffee shop making my heart jump into my throat when I realize Patrick’s hand is still on mine. Horror fills me on the thought of him mistaking this situation with Patrick for something more than it really was.
I yank my hand away before standing up. “Look Patrick, like I said before, I have moved on and so should you. You can’t just come here and wreck my life again. Don’t call or text me anymore. If you really do still care for me like you say you do, then just do me the favor of leaving me alone and move on.”
He opens his mouth to speak but then closes it again before nodding. I push my chair in and grab my coffee cup before heading out the door in hopes I can fix this thing with Cole. I have to fix it. I don’t have any feelings left for Patrick because they had all been for once person and one person only and that person now hates me.
Twenty
Cole
My head is battling with my heart, making all comprehension go out the window and it’s all because of him sitting right there in front of me with someone who isn’t me, blurring my vision from being able to see anything else. The light shines through the window behind him, creating a glowing hue against his creamy skin; skin I long to touch again. The stranger reaches for his hand making my blood run icy cold at the idea of anyone else touching him.
The stranger’s eyes meet mine, making Danny turn around to see who he’s staring at. Danny’s eyes grow wide at the sight of me, and I don’t even wait long enough for him to say anything before heading right out the door leading me back onto the street to where I parked my car next to his.
He rushes out the door shortly after I do. His eyes meet mine and the sadness there tugs at my heart before I remember what just happened between him and that guy in the coffee shop. He fidgets with his hands as he debates walking across the street to where I am. I make the decision easy for him by getting into my car and driving away, leaving him standing there alone. How dare he be with another guy after what happened between us last night? Here I am a complete and utter mess over everything and there he is holding hands with someone else.
How did he expect me to act? First, he lies to me about who he is causing an argument between us and then… then he goes on a date with some other guy the next morning. I know we never said we were exclusive, but we never mentioned seeing other people. That guy didn’t look like a stranger, not with the way he looked at Danny as if he was the most precious thing in the world. I pull into my usual parking space in front of my apartment complex. I hurry inside, hoping to avoid all my nosey neighbors today. I sink into the comfort of my couch cushions pressing my face into my hands.
I went into that coffee shop today hoping to run into him there after knocking on his door this morning and getting no response. I needed to see him, and now that I did, I wish I never had. I can’t erase the other guy from my mind. The way he smiled at Danny from across the way before reaching for his hand and the way Danny didn’t pull away. Did Danny smile back? Did his face light up the way it did when I was around? Did his cheeks grow pink the way they did every time I touched him or told him he was beautiful? I told myself I didn’t want to know the answer to these questions. That it was better I didn’t know and then my phone goes off from an incoming text message.
When Danny’s name appears on the screen, I almost don’t want to look at the whole message, but a part of me needs to know what his explanation will be. Deep down, I’m hoping there is an explanation for today.
Danny: Cole, what you saw today, it’s not what you thought. I know that’s a huge cliché, but I really mean it. Just let me come over and explain, please. Just let me come over and apologize… for everything.
Me: There really isn’t anything to explain. Whatever was happening between us is clearly over.
Danny: Cole, please. Just let me come over and explain. I much rather not explain over text messaging. It would be a lot easier to do in person.
Me: I’m not sure there is anything to explain. First, you lie to me about being the mystery guy at the New Year’s Eve party, and now you are holding hands with some guy the very next day after we almost… You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore.
Danny: I didn’t mean to lie to you Cole. I was just letting my insecurities get the best of me and I know that’s no excuse, but I promise that’s the truth and it wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Also, that guy at the coffee shop is nothing to me. He was once but hasn’t been for a long time. It’s just, I really like you.
I begin typing and then stop before setting my phone down on the nearby coffee table. I have nothing left to say to him, there is nothing left to be said. A knock comes to the door, and I just sit there staring at it. The knock comes again, and my feet slowly drag themselves to the front door before opening it to a distraught Danny. I want so badly to just close the door in his face, but something stops me. He had his beanie pulled down almost touching his eye. Those brown eyes I could just lose myself in forever. He forces a smile on his face, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“That was Patrick you saw, my ex-boyfriend. He has been trying to talk to me for a while and I finally agreed hoping it would get him to finally leave me alone and move on. I don’t want him anymore; I want only you and I promise that’s the truth.”
His eyes water and I want so badly to take him in my arms and comfort him, but I dig my feet in the ground to keep me from doing just that. “How do I know you are telling the truth? You lied to me before, who’s to say you aren’t lying about this too.”
He shakes his head. “I told you, I never meant to lie to you. I’ve never done anything like that before. I didn’t feel like that person at the party was the real me and I wanted you to know me for the real me. I should have told you the moment I knew. I just didn’t expect things to happen so fast between us.”
“That wasn’t something I normally do either, I didn’t expect to feel this way for someone so soon. But you still lied to me and seeing you this morning with that guy pretty much ripped my heart to pieces and made me believe that none of this between us was ever real.”
He shakes his head before reaching for my hand. “It was real, it is real. At least it’s real for me. I understand if you want nothing to do with me now, I just had to give you my side of the story first. I just wanted to let you know the truth.”
I let him grab
my hand and wrap my fingers around his while reaching up the swipe a tear from his eye with my free hand. I didn’t like being the one to make him cry. I pull him into my chest, and he buries his head against me. I’m not sure where to go from here, but I know I don’t want to let him go. I liked having him in my arms and once I remembered how right It felt to have him this close to me, I wanted to do everything I could to keep him there.
Twenty-One
Danny
I stood there, cuddling myself against his chest, worried about what would happen once we pulled apart. Wondering if when we did, Cole would want to continue to go our separate ways. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. I take in his smell and touch as if it will be the last time I can because it just might be. We break apart and his lips curve into a slight smile. “I want to forgive you Danny...”
I look at him with confusion. “But?”
“But you did lie to me so it will take a while to build that trust again. It will take some time for me to fully forgive you, but I want to try because I really like having you around. You must promise not to lie or hide anything from me again. Promise me right now that you aren’t hiding anything else.”
I place my hand on his face. “I promise, I’m not hiding anything else. I promise I won’t ever hide anything from you again and I’m really hoping we can move forward from this because I really like having you around too.”
He sighs. “Okay then, how about we get together this weekend? Give us some time to clear the air. Have that first date all over again; instead this time there won’t be any secrets.”
Even though I hate the idea of waiting a whole week to see him again, I agree. I turn to head to my apartment as he closes the door behind me. This is going to be one long week, but I was really looking forward to Friday.
Twenty-Two
Danny
Two Months Later
Tomorrow is Vivian’s birthday, so I’m making her favorite cupcakes with her favorite cream cheese frosting topped with rainbow sprinkles. We usually rented movies and stuffed our faces all night with cupcakes, topping them off with birthday shots every year. I ordered her gift off Amazon the other day and still needed to finish wrapping it. She had been over the last few days, so I had to put it on hold until now. I bought her a few books she mentioned she wanted and a few other small things I knew she would love. Melanie messaged me earlier asking if I wanted to go out with her tonight, but I told her I had plans to make cupcakes and then a date with a movie and chocolate afterward. I wasn’t sure if Cole was home yet. If he was, he was probably already passed out in his bed.
Cole worked all week long until seven, so we didn’t get to see each other much and I missed him. I was so happy it was Friday because that meant I got to spend the next two days with him. I intended on spending all tomorrow with Vivian since it was her birthday, but she said she had plans with the new guy she’s been seeing, so she asked for a raincheck which I gladly accepted. We were, however, still going to brunch together, and she asked to bring Cole along, which I also gladly accepted. Cole and I had been seeing each other for two months now and things had been going well between us, I was falling for him badly. Two months ago, I almost lost him over something stupid and I was never going to make that mistake again. I promised Cole I would never lie to him and I kept my promise.
We had our first date redo, which felt more like a third date before we went back to his place again and couldn’t keep our hands off one another. That time nothing was coming between us and stopping us from getting what we both have been craving since New Year’s Eve. We quickly stripped out of our clothes and before I knew it our naked bodies were plastered against one another on my bed writhing against one another. My fingers dug into sheets as he took me into his mouth, making my body crave more. He released me from his mouth with a plopping sound and started pressing kisses up my body before a familiar wrapper sound entered my ears. His lubed fingers slid inside me making me suppress a moan. I spent most of the night with him inside me, touching me and kissing me everywhere making me feel things I’ve never felt with anyone else.
The memories of that night put a smile on my face. It was the beginning of this amazing thing we have. I loved every minute in between, and I loved him. I hadn’t told him that yet though, and not sure when I would since I had no idea if he felt the same way. I pull my shirt off before slipping on a white apron. I much rather not get cake batter or icing on my clothes. I was a messy eater and an even messier cook.
I mix the cake batter until there are no more lumps before pouring it into the cupcake sleeves and placing them into the pan one at a time. I had already turned the oven before mixing the batter so that it would be ready for when it was time to place the cupcakes in there.
I lick the remaining vanilla batter off the spatula before tossing it in the sink with the mixing bowl and measuring cups. I dust the flour off my apron and wash the left-over batter off my hands before making my way over to the couch. I watch a few episodes for Charmed while I waited for the cupcakes to be done. The timer goes off midway through the second episode, and I pause the show to set the cupcakes out on the stove to cool down. It will be a while before I can frost the cupcakes, so I got back to watching a few more episodes until they are cool enough for me to do so.
Waiting for the cupcakes, eyes start to close and I almost fall completely asleep until the intro music comes on making eyes shoot open. I need to hurry and finish these cupcakes before I fall asleep. It was still early, and I didn’t think I was that tired, but clearly I was. I smeared the icing on the cupcakes while getting some on my hand. I lift my hand to my mouth licking the icing with my tongue. A knock comes to the door and I wipe my hands off on a nearby towel before walking over to answer it. Standing in front of me in a dress shirt, black slacks and loosened tie is an exhausted-looking Cole, still managing to have a gigantic smile on his face.
I lick my lips, tasting the sweetness of the left-over frosting still there and lift my eyebrows in curiosity, wondering why he is standing in front of my door. It’s not that I minded, it was just an odd time for him to stop by. He usually eats and heads to bed after work on weekdays lately. Sometimes he will even ask me to come over and sleep with him even though that doesn’t always work out the way we plan it to.
“Hey there, what are you doing here?”
His smile widens. “I just wanted to stop by and say hi, you got a little something right here,” he brushed his thumb across my mouth, making my cheeks grow hot.
“Oh, I’m frosting cupcakes for Vivian’s birthday and I must have missed some cream cheese from my mouth earlier. I gesture him inside, “Want to come in and help? Then you can taste test afterward.”
He licks his lips while his eyes never leave my mouth. “I’m totally down for a taste test.”
Before I realize what he is saying, he closes the distance between us, swiping his tongue across my mouth. I’m frozen solid, my body forgets how to move then quickly remembers when he presses his lips to mine and I part my lips and caress his tongue with my own. His hand slides under my apron, reminding me that I don’t have a shirt on. His hand slides up and down my abdomen as his other hand clasps my cheek, intensifying our kiss. We pull away from one another both panting and trying to remember how to breath. “Mmm, delicious. That’s what I call a successful taste test. By the way, you should wear that apron more often except next time lose the pants,” he says with a wink.
“I’m still not sure the icing is quite right, let me taste it again just to be sure.”
He presses his mouth against mine again with need and want. Suddenly making cupcakes was becoming my new favorite thing. I sink my body into his and his hand roams all over my body again. I can feel his erection pressing against mine causing me to moan into his mouth.
Twenty-Three
Cole
My mouth claims his as I begin licking and nipping softly at his lips, caressing his mouth with my own. He smells like coconut shampoo and cream cheese frosting ,and I w
ant to wrap myself up into his sent. He tasted even better than he smelled. “Cream cheese covered Danny, my new favorite thing.”
He laughs into my mouth before pulling away. “Stop, you’re distracting me when you’re supposed to be helping me. Are you going to help me frost these cupcakes or not? I glance over to the counter with nine bare cupcakes sitting next to a huge bowl of frosting. My lips turn into a pout. “Does she really need twelve cupcakes?”
He rolls his eyes. “They aren’t just for her and if you help me, we can finish quickly and have time for other things.” I nod and quickly walk toward the kitchen. He follows closely behind me while laughing at my sudden eagerness. I roll up my sleeves and wash my hands before picking up my first cupcake to frost it. My eyes are on him the whole time until he points at the cupcake that now has way too much frosting, spilling over the sides onto my fingers.
“Oops, I guess I got a bit carried away,” I say before bringing my frosting covered fingers to my mouth.
He looks at me in mock disappointment. “Honestly, I think you helping has actually slowed me down. I think I may have to fire you from frosting duty.”
I frown. “Well, I can’t help that my eyes were drawn to something more alluring than cupcakes.”
He snatches the cupcake from my hand. “I think I can still fix this one, lucky for you. Here, why don’t you start on this one and make sure you actually look at the cupcake this time as you frost it. Last time I checked, I’m not a cupcake.”
I smirk. “Oh, but I much rather eat icing off you.”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me send you back to your apartment,” he says with a smirk.
I gasp, “you wouldn’t dare.”
He points to the cupcake in my hand. “Get to frosting, and this time frost the cupcake and not your whole hand.”