Yours To Keep

by Shannon Stacey

  “Ha. Don’t flatter yourself, Kowalski. I’m only having sex with you so I can sleep in my own bed again.”

  The renewed color in her cheeks let him know she was full of crap. “So if I offered to do you right here on the kitchen floor, you’d say no?”

  “I’d have to say no just to prove my point now.”

  “Damn.”

  Emma sighed and pushed herself to her feet. “You know what? A Jasper burger sounds really good, actually. It seems like it’s been forever since I had one.”

  After she wiped down the baseboard and retrieved the bucket, he pushed the fridge back into place for her, then waited for her in the truck.

  She was distracted on the drive down, staring out her window and sighing a lot. Figuring she’d feel better after a burger and a beer, he let her stew in silence.

  Kevin’s bar was quiet and he was nowhere to be seen, much to Sean’s relief. He didn’t really want to get any crap for taking his fake fiancée out to lunch, though he hadn’t thought of that until after he suggested Jasper burgers.

  Paulie, the stacked redhead, was behind the bar but, other than a casual wave, she didn’t show much of an interest in them. Sean found a table in a dimly lit back corner and ordered a couple of beers and Jasper burgers for each of them.

  Once their waitress set their glasses down and went to place their food order, Emma seemed to relax a little, but her mouth was tight and she was tapping the toe of her sneaker against the table leg.

  “So what are you upset about today?” he asked when he got tired of the silence.

  “Nothing.”

  “You afraid Cat’s going to fall madly in love with Russell Walker and want her house back?”

  With the way her head jerked back and the expression on her face, he was afraid for a second the other patrons would think he’d slapped her. “You’re an asshole.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”

  “No doubt.”

  “If you just tell me what’s bugging you today, I won’t have to guess.”

  She looked for a second like she was going to lash out with something bitchy, but then her body slumped in the chair and she sighed. “I want Gram to be happy. I want that more than anything. But seeing her with Mr. Walker was…weird. And I always miss Gramps, but it just hit me especially hard, I guess, seeing her with somebody else.”

  Tears shimmered in her eyes and he reached across the table to hold her hand. “I think that’s pretty normal, Emma.”

  “And they’ve known each other forever. Just because she watched the fireworks with him doesn’t mean she’s going to run off and marry him. They’re friends.”

  “Have you asked her?”

  “No.”

  “You should talk to her.”

  She sighed and he knew there was more. “At the Fourth of July party, she told me she wants to give me the house as a wedding present.”

  “Isn’t that what you want?”

  “No,” she snapped, pulling her hand away. “I want her to sell it to me. I told you that.”

  “Okay.” He took a second to think about what to say next. In his experience, talking to a woman in this kind of mood was like sitting on a keg of gunpowder to smoke a cigarette. It was only a matter of time before your ass got burned. “Did you tell her that?”

  “Of course I did. But she said it doesn’t make any sense to put another mortgage on the house when it’s been free and clear so long. And she doesn’t need the money.”

  He was going to ask her what the problem was, then, because getting a house free wouldn’t bother most people. But he already knew. If at any time over the last two years Cat had offered to give her the house, she probably would have taken it. But the fact it was being offered as a gift for a nonexistent wedding was going to keep Emma up at night.

  “Can you tie it into the business somehow? You have your equipment and your office and shit there. Maybe tell her the bank thinks you should build credit by having a loan for a business location or something?” He didn’t know jack about such things.

  She shook her head. “Maybe if I was buying a nursery or something, but that’s pretty shaky.”

  That left him fresh out of ideas. “You’ve got a couple more weeks. Maybe you can talk her into selling it.”

  “And how am I supposed to convince her that going two hundred thousand dollars or so into debt makes more sense than accepting the house that’s been more or less mine now for two years anyway as a gift?”

  “I…don’t know.” He saw the waitress approaching with two plates. “But here come our burgers. That’ll help.”

  “Jasper burgers are good, but even they can’t help me out of this.”

  He grinned. “No, but they’ll make you feel better about being in it.”

  Jasper burgers were better than sex, Emma thought as the first bite made her taste buds stand up and happy dance. She had the same thought every time she ate at Jasper’s, but the last few times she hadn’t had sex recently enough to call it a fair comparison.

  Technically, nothing was better than sex with Sean, but the burger had the edge right now because it wasn’t complicated. It tasted amazing and it didn’t screw up her life beyond her having to make a half-ass promise to herself to eat more salads to make up for it.

  Sex with Sean was screwing up her life. As promised, the orgasms were very real and very numerous, but there should have been fine print. By accepting the orgasms, she’d also agreed to accept a level of intense intimacy she didn’t think either of them had expected.

  With mind-blowing sex came the tender touches. The way he’d capture her gaze with his and she couldn’t look away. And he was a talker, always murmuring to her about how good she felt and how he never wanted to stop. And there was the life-screwing-up part—she never wanted him to stop, either.

  “You’re thinking about my magic penis again, aren’t you?”

  She almost choked on a fry. “No, I am not. And stop saying that.”

  “You started it.” He leaned across the table. “And yes, you were. I see that flush at the hollow of your throat and the way you’re looking at me. You’re all hot and bothered, right here in the bar. I was right about you.”

  “I am not an exhibitionist,” she hissed.

  “Oh, shit.” She followed his gaze and saw that Kevin and Beth had just walked in and Kevin had spotted them. “Just be cool.”

  “Be cool?” She laughed. “We’re having lunch, not planning a bank robbery.”

  “I just mean…forget it.”

  “You don’t want your cousins to know we’re having sex,” she said flatly.

  “It complicates things.”

  He had that right. She was saved from further comment, however, by Kevin and Beth approaching the table. Kevin had Lily in his arms, but she clearly wanted down and they looked like a walking wrestling match.

  “Hey, guys,” Beth said, giving Emma a warm smile. “Couldn’t resist the siren call of the Jasper burgers? I ate so many of those while I was pregnant, Kevin said Lily’s first word would be moo. Thankfully, he was wrong.”

  “It was da-da,” Kevin informed them in an exaggerated stage whisper that made Beth roll her eyes. “I was going to call you later. Me and Joe and Evan and Terry are going four-wheeling Saturday. You guys want in?”

  “Hell yeah,” Sean said, but then he seemed to remember Emma was sitting across the table. “Maybe. If I can.”

  “I should ask Gram if she minds. But if she doesn’t, I’d love to go if Lisa will let me steal her machine again. I haven’t ridden since last summer.”

  “We’ll hook you up.” Lily was squirming like a fish out of water and Kevin was losing the battle. “She wants to see her Aunt Paulie. Call me and let me know. By Thursday night would be good so we can figure out which trailers we need to load up.”

  After they left, Emma returned to her Jasper burger consumption with gusto. She’d asked Lisa once to find out the recipe for their seasoning mix, but Kevin wouldn’t
give it up. Plus, as Lisa had pointed out, it wouldn’t do Emma any good to have it since she couldn’t cook worth a damn anyway.

  “So about what I said before,” Sean said after he’d wolfed down his food, “about not wanting them to know we’ve had sex. It’s not that I’m trying to hide it, I just…”

  “Don’t want them to know.”

  “Yeah.”

  “That makes sense.”

  His face brightened. “Really?”

  “No.”

  “Damn.” He’d finished his beer, so he took a swig off the glass of water she’d requested with her meal. “Under normal circumstances, I’d want everybody to know we’re sleeping together. Trust me. I’d put a sign on my front lawn.”

  “But these aren’t normal circumstances.”

  “Not even in the ballpark. I have this bet with my brothers I’d last the whole month and I don’t want to listen to them gloat.” Of course he had a bet with his brothers. Such a guy thing to do. “But it’s more about the women.”

  “The women?”

  “In my family, I mean. Aunt Mary, especially. They might start thinking it’s more than it is. Getting ideas about us, if you know what I mean.”

  Emma ate her last French fry and pushed her plate away. “So we have to pretend we’re madly in love and engaged…while pretending we’re not having sex.”

  “Told you it complicates things.”

  “I’m going to need a color-coded chart to keep track of who thinks what.”

  He grinned and pulled his Sharpie out of his pocket. “I could make sticky notes.”

  The man loved sticky notes. He stuck them on everything. A note on the front of the microwave complaining about the disappearance of the last bag of salt-and-vinegar chips. (Emma had discovered during a particularly rough self-pity party that any chips will do, even if they burn your tongue). A note on the back of the toilet lid telling her she used girly toilet paper, whatever that meant.

  He liked leaving them on the bathroom mirror, too. Stop cleaning my sneakers. I’m trying to break them in. Her personal favorite was if you buy that cheap beer because it’s on sale again, I’ll piss in your mulch pile. But sometimes they were sweet. Thank you for doing my laundry. And you make really good grilled cheese sandwiches. That one had almost made her cry.

  “Not to change the subject,” she said, intending to do just that, “but I’m going to bid a landscaping job tomorrow. The homeowner wants to extend the deck out and add some built-in seating. It’s a rush job because they’re spending the last week of July there and want it done. I thought maybe you could do up a bid for that and we could submit it as a package. You know, if you’re interested and think you can it done in time.”

  “Are you going to stand over my shoulder and double-check all my measurements and cuts?”

  She felt her face blush and rolled her eyes. “No. Pounding nails is your thing, not mine.”

  “Then I’m interested. We could make a good team, you and I.”

  The words pierced some part of her heart she didn’t want to think about, but she laughed. “Yeah. Just don’t tell anybody.”

  Watching Sean flip ham steaks on the grill through the window, Emma tore up lettuce for salads. Her grandmother was cutting the tomatoes, which was probably good since she shouldn’t use a knife and watch Sean cook at the same time.

  “Hey, Gram, would you mind if Sean and I disappeared for a few hours on Saturday?”

  “Of course not.”

  “A few of the Kowalskis are going four-wheeling and Kevin invited us to go. But if you want to spend the day with us, I can go—we can go—another time.”

  “I had plans of my own, actually.”

  Something in Gram’s voice drew her attention away from admiring the way Sean wielded a meat fork. “Oh really?”

  “Russell’s going to take me out for an early dinner and then we’re going dancing at the high school. They’re having a fundraiser for chem-free graduation.”

  “Oh.” Emma realized she was tearing the lettuce into confetti and dropped it into the bowl. “That sounds fun.”

  “Do I need to have the talk with you about how going on a date with Russell doesn’t change the fact I still love your grandfather very much and miss him every day?”

  “No.” She shook more lettuce out of the bag, just to give her hands something to do. “Maybe.”

  “It’s the truth. Nobody will ever replace John Shaw in my heart. But I’m lonely and it’s been a long time since I’ve had a warm body to rub my cold feet on under the covers.”

  Emma didn’t want to think about Gram under the covers with anybody, never mind Russell Walker. “Fourteen years.”

  It occurred to her after she said the words that just because it had been fourteen years since her grandfather died didn’t mean it had been fourteen years since her grandmother had rubbed her cold feet on a warm body under the covers. She propped her elbows on the counter and rested her chin on her hands, hoping she looked attentive but mostly wanting to hide the heat she could feel in her cheeks.

  “But it’s more than that,” Gram continued. “When I read something interesting in the paper, I don’t have anybody to share it with. And when I’m watching a murder mystery, I don’t have anybody to tell who I think dunnit.”

  It was on the tip of Emma’s tongue to tell Gram she should move back home and they could figure out the plot twists together, but she bit it back. Not only because Gram was happy in Florida, but because she knew it wouldn’t be the same. Gram didn’t just want somebody else to make conversation with. She wanted a companion to share her life with.

  “He seems like a nice man,” Emma said, which sounded lame, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “He is, and I enjoy his company.”

  “That’s good, Gram.” She meant it and she hoped Gram could see that she did.

  Sean walked in with the plate of ham steaks and then stopped, as if his man radar had just pinged on the level of feminine drama in the room. “Everything okay?”

  “Of course.” Gram dumped the diced tomatoes into the salad bowl. “Emma was just telling me you’re going four-wheeling Saturday.”

  “Only if you don’t mind,” he said, setting the plate on the table.

  “Of course not.”

  “Gram’s going dancing with Russell.”

  “Oh.” He searched Emma’s face for a moment, then turned to Gram. “He seems like a nice guy. Hope you have a good time.”

  “I haven’t been dancing in ages, but I’m sure I will. Let’s eat before the ham gets cold.”

  “Sean and I have to give an estimate on a job tomorrow, but then we can drive down to Concord and find you a dress, if you want.”

  Gram beamed. “I’d love that. I think the last time I bought a new dress, shoulder pads were still all the rage.”

  They all laughed, putting an end to any lingering tension in the room. And later, when Sean slipped between the sheets and asked her if she was really okay with her grandmother dating, she could honestly say she was.

  “I want her to be happy. If dancing with Russell makes her happy, she should go for it.”

  He stretched out against her body. “I agree. Know what would make me happy?”

  “If I buy a more manly brand of toilet paper?”

  “No. Well, yes. But we can talk about that when we’re not naked.”

  She draped her arm over his shoulders and ran her fingertips over the sweet spot at the back of his neck. “What should we talk about while we’re naked?”

  He groaned and rolled onto his back, but he took her with him so she was straddling his hips. “Let’s talk about how you look working in the sun, with your skin all shiny and a smear of dirt on your nose.”

  “Does me being all grubby and sweaty turn you on?”

  “Watching you work turns me on. You work hard and you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty. I like that in a woman.”

  “Flattery will get you—” she swiveled her
hips, brushing over his erection and making him suck in a sharp breath, “—everywhere.”

  He reached up and cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples. “Don’t wanna be anywhere but here.”

  The man knew all the right words. He definitely had all the right moves. And he was a quick learner, so he already knew all the right ways to touch her to drive her out of her mind. He had a way of looking at her with those intense blue eyes that made her feel like he’d been waiting his entire life just to make love to her.

  And, as long as she wasn’t stupid enough to imagine she could see forever in those eyes, she’d take it.

  He ran one fingertip down her forehead to the bridge of her nose. “You’re frowning. What are you thinking about?”

  She shoved the word forever out of her mind and ran her hands over his rippled abdomen. “I was wondering why you’re not inside me yet.”

  “Because you’re frowning at me. Gives me confidence issues.”

  Reaching between their bodies, she stroked the hard length of him. “Confidence is never an issue for you.”

  He grinned and flipped her onto her back. “I’m confident I can have you whimpering my name into your pillow in five minutes or less.”

  “I don’t know,” she said as his hand brushed over her stomach and kept going south. “I’m not an easy woman to please.”

  His mouth followed the trail his hand had marked against her skin. “I never could resist a challenge.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Saturday turned into an awesome day for riding. Warm enough for T-shirts, Emma thought, but not too hot under the helmet and goggles.

  At the last minute Joe had bailed. Brianna had been fussy with a low-grade fever all night and he knew better than to abandon Keri, so it was Emma and Sean, along with Kevin, Evan and Terry.

  She started up the ATV Kevin had borrowed from Lisa for her and backed it off the trailer, leaving it to warm up while she put on her helmet and adjusted her goggles. Sean was riding Mike’s four-wheeler and he parked beside her to do the same.

  “You think you can keep up?” she asked, tightening the strap under her helmet.