by Jessica
“No, no.” Josh shook his head. “Snacker didn’t steal my recipes. After Digger died, Snacker asked me to help him with the menu. I gave him a ton of help, so of course the menu had my mark on it. I don’t mind if I give my permission, so it’s not like he was being sneaky or anything. Besides, after the opening, Snacker told me that he couldn’t handle being the executive chef there. He’s going to step down as soon as they find a replacement. He’s not ready, and he knows it. He never wanted that job, Chloe.”
“Good. What about Digger’s girlfriend, Ellie? After all, Digger betrayed her with her best friend. She did seem totally devoted to him.”
“Hmm.” Josh rolled off me and propped himself up on his elbow while he traced a finger over my stomach. “That’s actually a possibility.”
“I was the one who had to tell Ellie about Digger’s death, and she took it really hard. She was genuinely upset and heartbroken. She asked me to call Georgie. Ellie was obviously on good terms with her friend then. Or she was pretending to be. I know that she went through Digger’s e-mail after he died, but she could have done the same thing before his death and found out that he was cheating on her with Georgie. I think she took Digger’s laptop from his apartment after the fire,” I said, remembering the clean, soot- free outline that I’d seen on the desk. “When she told me that she hadn’t been there, she lied.”
“She’s a better suspect than Snacker, that’s for sure. Listen, Chloe,” Josh said, turning my face to his. “I have to talk to you about Kyle. I don’t know how involved you are with him, but—”
“I’m not involved with him at all, Josh. Not like that. I’m just his cookbook assistant.”
“Really? That’s a relief. I thought you two were . . .”
“I guess that’s what I wanted you to think.” I was not about to confess that I had, in fact, made an idiotic play for Kyle and been rebuffed. “It’s just that after you left, well, I was pissed. Actually, I’m still pissed. This,” I said, waving a finger between us, “is the result of temporary insanity.”
“Don’t say that. Please don’t say this is temporary.” Josh leaned down and kissed my stomach, and I let him work his way up to my lips.
“Last August you were only thinking about yourself and what you wanted. You didn’t stop and think about what leaving would mean for me. You left me, Josh. Don’t forget that.” I might have been talking tough, but I felt anything but.
“I left, yes, but I didn’t mean to leave you. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true. And I wasn’t thinking about myself. Okay, not just about myself. I really thought you’d want to come with me. The couple I work for put me up in this great guesthouse, I looked up a program where you could have kept going to school, and I just . . . I don’t know. I thought after the year we’d had that maybe it would be good to get away for a while. To go somewhere where we could just relax and enjoy each other. But you just said no so quickly . . . I screwed up, Chloe. I really screwed up.”
“It was escaping, Josh. That’s all it was. Going to Hawaii meant avoiding everything here instead of tackling problems head-on. How were things supposed to become normal if we ran off?”
“Babe, what’s wrong with escaping once in a while?”
It was true that Josh had had good reason to escape. Josh and I had been madly in love, so that part of my year had been great, but chaos had sullied much of our time together. Its principal source had been his work. As a chef, he’d worked hideously long hours in return for terrible pay and little appreciation. Most of all, he’d had all-around crummy bosses.
“I didn’t know that you’d looked into schools for me,” I said. “But you wanted me to just up and leave my life here! Leave Ade, Owen, and Patrick . . .” I trailed off. Adrianna had pointed out to me that, as much as they loved me, they could certainly function without me. “I mean, I have responsibilities here. I have school. I have . . . I have responsibilities. Big responsibilities. Of all sorts!”
Josh nodded. I could tell that he was trying not to smile. “I know. I didn’t mean for you to think that I don’t take your life seriously or that I don’t respect everything you have going on in Boston. You’ve worked really hard in school, and I’m proud of how much you’ve put into it. I was just hoping that you would’ve continued in Hawaii. You know, I found this great community center not too far from where I live. They have a program for underprivileged children, and I talked to the dean at the grad school nearby, and he said they’d consider letting students do internships there, and—”
“You talked to the dean?” I sat up in bed, totally surprised.
“Have you really not read any of my e- mails? Even the Facebook ones?”
“Well, no. I deleted all the ones you sent at first, and then after that, I blocked your address.” I hung my head, slightly embarrassed. “I guess I forgot about Facebook.”
“Go look. Right now.”
I leaned off the bed, pulled my laptop onto my lap, and checked my inbox. Oh my God! There were twenty-six messages, all from Josh. I started at the beginning and skimmed over the screen as my vision became blurry with tears. There were long e-mails in which Josh poured his heart out, begging me to forgive him for leaving and insisting that he still loved me. I tapped through message after message as Josh stroked my back and rubbed his cheek against my arm. What if I had read these messages earlier? Would things have changed? No, I told myself. Last summer, I wasn’t ready to up and leave. And who knew if I would ever be ready. I had worked so hard to build an independent life for myself, and I wasn’t about to chuck it for some guy. But Josh wasn’t just any guy. I promised myself that I’d read Josh’s letters more thoroughly later, but there was a limit to how much I could absorb right now.
“Seems like you made a lot of friends in Hawaii,” I said as I pulled up the gaggle of girls on the screen. “Lots of very sexy, scantily clad friends.”
“That,” he said pointing to one of the girls, “is my friend Fritz’s fiancée, and that’s her cousin, who is married.” Josh shut off the computer and took my hands in his. “Since the day I met you, I have not even glanced at another woman. Not one. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t love anyone else. Only you. Do you believe that?”
I wanted to believe him, but what was the point? He would go back to Hawaii soon, and I’d still be in Boston.
“I’m starving,” I announced.
Josh laughed. “Of course you are. Some things never change.”
“And some things do,” I said pointedly.
“Let’s get some food in you and see how you feel after that. You want to walk down to Pino’s?”
I couldn’t say no to the best, gooiest pizza in the world.
“Sure.”
After all, I’d worked up quite an appetite. . . .
TWENTY
WHILE we got dressed, Josh brought up Kyle again. “Aside from wanting to see you tonight, I did want to warn you about Kyle. I’m glad you’re not dating him, but I don’t think you should be working with him, either.”
“Why not?” I yanked a sweatshirt over my head and slipped back into my sweatpants. “What exactly is your problem with him?”
“You told me you were working on a cookbook, but I didn’t realize it was with Kyle until I saw you with him at the Penthouse. Digger and I went to culinary school with him.”
“Owen just told me that this afternoon. I don’t know why Kyle never mentioned that he’d trained as a chef, though.” I grabbed my winter boots and ski jacket, and took my keys off the desk. “You ready?”
Josh nodded. “I’ll tell you why Kyle never told you. He dropped out of the program.”
“He did?” We went out the back door. It was dark now. I held the railing as I walked down the stairs.
“Yeah, and Digger and I are probably to blame for that. Kyle just couldn’t cook. He was awful. He couldn’t tell good food from bad. He dropped stuff all the time, never cleaned his workstation, burned things more times than I could count—he was just incompetent
in every aspect.” Josh put his arm around my shoulder as we walked, and I unconsciously leaned into him. It was bitterly cold out. “He basically was lazy and a big baby. He couldn’t take the competitive environment at school. He hated the rough atmosphere and the constant pranks and jokes we all used to pull. Honestly, that made us ride him even harder, and we called him on all of his screwups. Look, it wasn’t nice of us, but we were young, and he was such an easy target.”
“So you were a bully?”
“I guess so,” Josh admitted. “And I did try to smooth things over with him, but he didn’t want anything to do with me. Honestly, all he did was complain and try to get us to cover up his mistakes or outright do his work for him. He was a pill. And he was always going out with these glamorous, attractive women. He thought he was so cool because he dated girls who looked like beauty-pageant queens. We teased him about that, too. Don’t think for a second that you’re going to get any credit for this cookbook. He’s going to say that he did all the work. That is, if he doesn’t ruin it completely.”
“You sound like Kyle’s father. You know who that is, right? Hank Boucher.”
“I know. His whack job of a father is the other reason he quit school. Just before Hank was coming to visit Kyle at school, Digger and I teased him to pieces about what we were going to do when his father the famous chef got there. That we’d make sure Hank knew how terrible his son was doing as a culinary student and all that. I know, I know,” Josh said when I glared at him, “it was wrong, and we were obnoxious punks back then. But Kyle wanted a free pass in life because of who his father was, and the whole time he couldn’t so much as boil water without setting fire to the entire stove top! Kyle was so bullshit with us and so scared of his father finding out what a dink he was that he up and dropped out of school just before his father arrived. Kyle didn’t like me much, obviously, but he really loathed Digger, because Digger was the one who instigated the majority of the teasing. Kyle totally wanted to kill him most of the time.”
I stopped in my tracks, yanking Josh backward. “Oh my God.”
“What?”
“Digger was killed just before Kyle and Hank were supposed to meet him at his apartment for a tasting. I don’t think it was a coincidence.” I looked right at Josh. “I think Kyle never wanted Hank and Digger to meet.”
“Oh God.” Josh dropped his head and put his hands on his hips. “You could be right. Kyle might have killed Digger. Damn it! But we don’t have any proof. We have nothing.”
“And Kyle called me before you showed up tonight to see if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I never want to see him again! And when I said I was busy, he asked if Adrianna and Owen might want to go. Thank God Ade is out with Patrick tonight, and Owen’s at home job hunting. I’m not letting anyone I know anywhere near Kyle again. Ever!”
“Chloe, Adrianna is exactly Kyle’s type. She should be careful,” he warned. “Back when we were in school, he tried to compensate for his total incompetence in school by showing off his gorgeous women and bragging about them every chance he got. Maybe he’s changed, but I doubt it.”
“Kyle told me that his father has been married to one trophy wife after another. Like father, like son, I guess.” I looped my arm through Josh’s and continued walking. “You know, Kyle did invite Adrianna along with us to dinner quite a bit. But I just thought . . . Oh, it’s stupid, but I thought that he was a nice guy who wanted to get to know my friends. He seemed to feel bad that she and Owen have been struggling so much, and he liked to treat her to dinner. But this whole time he’s been interested in her?”
“He can be smooth when he wants to,” Josh said. “There’s got to be a way to link Kyle to the fire at Digger’s apartment, but I can’t think on an empty stomach. Let’s get some dinner, and we’ll figure something out.”
“Why don’t we swing by Owen and Ade’s and see if Owen wants to come out with us. I know he’s supposed to be on the computer all night, but I think we should tell him what we know about Kyle as soon as possible.”
“Good idea.”
We walked silently for a few minutes. When we got close to Adrianna and Owen’s apartment, I couldn’t help sniffing. “Ugh! Owen must be grilling again. Only that nut would stand outside in this cold just to burn chicken.”
“I don’t think that smell is from a grill.” Josh walked quickly now, pulling me forward. “Come on.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I hurried alongside him. Looking up at the three-story building, I saw nothing alarming. Still, there was no denying that the burning smell was growing stronger. I immediately flashed back to my malodorous trek through Digger’s apartment. The one odd thing about the building was the absence of lighted windows. The windows on the first two floors were understandably dark since the owners, who lived there, were away, but Ade and Owen’s third- floor apartment was dark, too. Owen was supposed to be at home conducting an online job search, so there should have been lights on, I reasoned; Owen wasn’t the kind of person who huddles over a computer in a darkened room. “This way,” I said to Josh as I started across the lawn toward the back of the building, where I expected to look up and see Owen hovering over a smoldering grill on the wooden fire escape—in other words, taking advantage of Ade’s absence to do exactly what she’d told him not to do. As for the stench, he’d probably run out of lighter fluid and was burning random items in an attempt to ignite the charcoal.
But I was wrong.
“Jesus Christ!” said Josh, panicked.
I looked up to the top of the fire escape. Like the windows visible from the front of the building, those at the back of the building were dark, but light from the house next door showed heavy smoke billowing from inside Ade and Owen’s apartment. Owen was nowhere in sight. “Owen!” I screamed. “Owen!”
Josh rushed forward and started to climb the fire escape. “Call nine-one-one!” he yelled.
I fumbled in my pocket for my cell as I ran to the front of the house, where the streetlights would let me see the buttons on the phone. Once I reached the sidewalk, I dialed 911 and, pressing the cell to my ear, ran up the front steps in the hope that Ade or Owen had for some reason left the door unlocked. No such luck. I had a key to their apartment, but it was on its own key ring at my condo. Why hadn’t I just attached it to my key ring? Owen had probably passed out from smoke inhalation and couldn’t hear Josh’s and my screams. I frantically shouted Ade and Owen’s address into the phone and, instead of listening to what the operator said, felt compelled to keep repeating the address at top volume, as if loudly reiterating the information would somehow speed the arrival of fire trucks. Too frightened to listen, I barely heard what the operator said but was left with the impression that help was, or would be, on the way. After again trying the front door and even banging on it and kicking it, I returned to the sidewalk just as Josh came around to the front of the building.
He shook his head. “I almost got up there, but there’s too much smoke.” He reeked of it. He had his jacket slung over one arm. I knew without asking that he’d taken it off and used it to cover his nose and mouth in an effort to penetrate the smoke. “You tried the front door?”
I nodded and shoved my key ring at him. “Run to my place and get their key. It’s on top of the TV. Go!”
Josh took off running while I continued screaming for Owen.
Suddenly there was someone standing next to me. “I had no idea you were so desperate to see me, Chloe.”
“Owen!” I cried and threw my arms around him. He was perfectly safe and not lying on his apartment floor dying! “Thank God!”
“What’s all the fuss? And what the hell is that nasty smell?”
“Your apartment is on fire! Thank God you’re safe! I thought you were up there. Josh tried to get in the back way, but he couldn’t. I’m just glad no one is home.” I let out a massive sigh of relief.
Owen’s face grew rigid. “Ade and Patrick are in there!” He flew to the front door and patted down his pockets.
“I don’t have my key! I don’t have my key!” He jerked the doorknob back and forth and kicked the door repeatedly, but the old, heavy door didn’t budge. “Adrianna!” he started screaming. “Her group got cancelled. She’s probably in bed sleeping. Oh God!”
“Josh is getting my key right now. I called nine-one-one.” I felt sick and panicked. My best friend and my godson were trapped inside, burning to death! As Owen continued to pound on the door, I looked around frantically. I couldn’t just stand here and wait for the fire trucks. I had to do something! There were no ladders lying around, but maybe someone had left a garden hose out back. By this time of year, hoses should’ve been put away for the winter, but I was still going to look. I flew into the backyard again and, in the light from the next house, searched the foundation for a water spigot. I found it. But there was no hose. Shit! Shit! I glanced up to the third floor and choked on a sob. The smoke was getting heavier.
Without thinking, I ran to the fire escape and started up the stairs, tripping several times. My legs were shaking so violently that I could barely put one foot in front of the other without catching the toe of my boot on a stair. “Adrianna!” I cried out through my tears. Pausing on the second-floor landing, I called her name more forcibly. I had to make her hear me! I had to! I caught sight of the first visible flame as it shot from the living room window. “No!” I screamed. “No! Adrianna! Adrianna!”
Like my condo building, this house was wooden—a tinderbox. That first flame would spread in no time. I cursed the wooden fire escape, which was as vulnerable to fire as the building itself. I’d have to descend almost immediately. Still, I continued screaming for my friend and praying that Josh would return or that the fire trucks would arrive. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes since I’d called, but it felt like an eternity.
Owen’s small grilling area above me was rapidly disintegrating as the fire began to grow. When a burning piece of wood dropped next to me, I kicked it off the landing, threw my arms over my head, and screamed with everything that I had in me. “Adrianna!”