by Nicole James
“You don’t know?”
Joker shook his head.
“We raided Black Jack’s place, mostly to save Blood’s ass. Undertaker knew he was goin’ there to have it out with his old man.”
“Yeah, I know that part.”
“Black Jack had Holly. He’d found out she meant something to Blood cause of Cat, her bein’ her sister and all. Way I heard it, Death Heads took her originally, something to do with some drug dealer who owed ‘em money. I never got the full scoop, but they were tryin’ to get an in with Black Jack’s New Orleans business and they gave her to him, I guess as a gift or maybe a gesture of good will for shootin’ Blood, not knowin’ he was Black Jack’s son. Anyway, we busted in the place, the dude escapes, his men are all scattering, the place starts on fire, but somehow Undertaker knew Holly was there, so we start searchin’ the place while Blood takes off chasin’ after his ol’ man.
“Undertaker found her chained to a bed in one of the rooms and got her free; they escaped crawlin’ down the balcony before the whole place went up in flames. Anyway, who knows what shit she went through bein’ held first by the Death Heads, then Black Jack’s bunch. After that, she latched onto Undertaker. Pretty strange, but she felt something for him, and he really watched out for her.”
Joker nodded. That part of the story he knew. The other… Christ, that was a revelation. She’d been through hell. He’d had no idea, probably because Undertaker had forbidden anyone to speak of it after it was over. He didn’t want her upset, and now Joker could see why.
Fuck.
He thought back on some of the things he’d said to her. Damn, he wished he’d known all this before. Maybe he’d have treated her with a little more care.
“Now you’re all caught the fuck up. Can we go home? It’s colder than brass balls out here tonight.”
Chapter Nine
Holly crawled out of bed the next morning and shuffled to the kitchen in just a sleep shirt and panties, her hair a mess. Pulling a coffee mug down from the cabinet, she was grateful for the Keurig coffeemaker that Cat had gifted her with, since she didn’t have to wait for a pot to brew. She just popped in the pod and pushed a button.
As a stream of steaming coffee filled her mug, her cell phone rang. Undertaker.
She put it to her ear. “Hello.”
“Mornin’. You up?”
“Yes, just getting my first cup of coffee.”
“You have classes today?”
“A ten o’clock, why?”
“You got room in your day, have Joker bring you by the clubhouse after class.” Oh, God. Had he told Undertaker about last night?
“Was there a particular reason?”
“No, babe. Just hadn’t laid eyes on you in weeks. Wanted to make sure you’re okay. See you this afternoon. I gotta go.” With that he disconnected.
She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it, then pressed it to her chin as she thought. Maybe today would be the perfect day to talk to Undertaker about Joker, but first she had to make sure she wasn’t going to walk into the clubhouse and be blindsided.
She sent Joker a text.
Undertaker wants you to bring me
to the clubhouse after class today.
Did you tell him about last night?
A second later her phone dinged with a response.
Nope.
A man of many words. When he said no more, she bit her lip, wondering if he’d lie to her. Then she blew out a breath, tossed her phone, and went to get ready for class.
***
The sun was high in the sky that afternoon as Holly clung to Joker. Gravel crunched under the tires as he rolled into the stockade gates of the clubhouse compound. There were about a dozen bikes parked out front. She recognized Undertaker’s right away. To her it would always be the prettiest of the bikes. She smiled. He’d hate if he knew she thought his bike was pretty. She was sure he considered it badass.
Joker pulled in a turn, preparing to back in a spot, and jerked his head for her to hop off. She did and he backed between Undertaker’s bike and Blood’s and dropped his kickstand, climbing off.
She unbuckled the strap of her helmet and hung it on his handlebar, glancing again at Undertaker’s bike. Maybe if she played her cards right, he’d be the one taking her home. She moved past Joker, heading for the door, but he grabbed her arm.
“I didn’t tell him, Holly. I promise. But if he asks, I will. I gotta. He’s my president, and I won’t lie to him. Not ever.”
She nodded and he let her go. With her hand on the door, she turned back. “I won’t lie to him either, so maybe you should be the one worried.”
“Don’t go getting any brilliant ideas; you’ve already used up your quota for the year.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m just getting started.” She moved inside. The place was mostly empty, except for a few guys at the bar and a few playing pool.
Mooch, So-Cal, and Blood were at the bar.
“Office,” Mooch said, jerking his chin toward the stairs, letting her know to go on up.
“How’re you doin’, girl?” Blood asked.
“I’m fine. You treatin’ my sister right?”
He smiled. “Always.”
She nodded and moved to the stairs.
Joker didn’t follow. Instead he moved to take a seat at the bar, but his eyes tracked her up the stairs.
When she got to the top, she walked down the long hall toward Undertaker’s office at the end. She paused at the open doorway of the room she’d stayed in when she was here. It was deserted now, the bed made. She glanced around, remembering how it had been her safe haven at a time when she’d needed it. Now it just looked like a small room, but it had been so much more.
She moved down the hall and tapped on the closed door to his office.
“Come in,” she heard his deep voice say. That voice made her feel safe, too.
She turned the knob and pushed inside.
He sat on the front edge of his big desk, his legs spread, and AJ, his wife, cuddled between them. His arms were around her waist.
She couldn’t miss the look of happiness on both their faces. It stung a little, but she was glad he was happy, even if it wasn’t with her.
“Holly, come on in.”
“Hello, Holly. How are you?” AJ asked.
Holly gave her a small smile. “I’m fine, Dr. Carter.”
“Please, call me AJ, honey. We’re all family now.”
The woman would always be Dr. Carter to her. Holly had heard they’d gotten married a couple of weeks ago, just the two of them in a private courthouse ceremony. “Yes, I hear congratulations are in order.”
“Thank you.” AJ turned a bright smile on Undertaker, then turned back to her. “Well, I’ll let you two talk.”
“Stay, please,” Holly insisted.
AJ’s eyes moved between them. “Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
Holly came forward, and Undertaker gave her a hug. “Good to see you, sweetheart.”
“You too.”
“Take a seat.”
She sat gingerly on the chair, wondering if this was just going to be small talk and chitchat or if they were going to spring something on her.
“How are classes going?” AJ asked with a smile.
“Good, I guess. I’m thinking of changing my major.”
“Oh?”
She nodded. “If I do, I’ll have to change schools, but most of what I’m taking now are general education courses and should transfer over.”
Undertaker frowned. “Why would you have to change schools?”
“I’m thinking of getting into Interior Design, and they don’t offer anything like that at UNO.”
“Interior Design,” AJ repeated. “That sounds fascinating. I’ve always struggled with decorating. Usually I just replicate something I find in a magazine.”
“This a done deal?” Undertaker asked.
She shrugged. “Just something I’ve been tossing around.”
&nb
sp; He nodded. “How’s everything else going? My boy taking care of you?”
She toyed with the hem of her shirt. “Well…”
Undertaker tensed, folding his arms. “What?”
“It’s just I really don’t think I need him following me around and telling me what I can and can’t do. It’s… ridiculous.”
“What has he told you that you couldn’t do?”
“Um…well, for example, I was out at a coffee shop one night a couple of weeks ago, and he thought I should have cleared it with him first. It’s like he expects me to get his permission. That’s crazy.”
AJ exchanged a look with Undertaker.
“You don’t agree with him, do you?” Holly asked in astonishment.
“The boy’s there for your safety, Holly. In order to provide that, he needs to know where you are, don’t you agree?”
“I don’t agree with any of this.”
“Babe, you were the one who was scared to death to leave my clubhouse.”
“I know. I know, but… things are different now. I’ve got roommates, and, well, truth be told, he’s driving me crazy.”
“How’s that?” Undertaker asked, his voice a bit gruff.
“I just… we just don’t get along, that’s all. He treats me like a child, and I’m not a child. Can’t you call him off or reel him in or something? I just don’t think I can stand it another day.”
She jumped to her feet, not sure where the agitation was coming from. It wasn’t easy being back at the clubhouse, and it wasn’t easy seeing Undertaker so happy with AJ, and it wasn’t easy knowing he’d never be the one to give her a ride home again. Not now, not ever. And somehow it all had her feeling sad, but she couldn’t let them see that, so she turned it into anger at Joker instead.
She’d been keeping up a front with Joker, and she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to do it. She hadn’t wanted him to see her fear at moving out. He’d think it childish. So she’d brazened along, play-acting at being some hard-ass chick that she wasn’t. In fact, she was far from it—so far it was actually comical. And now she felt trapped into the role. She was backed into a corner, and she’d done it to herself, and eventually Joker was going to call her bluff.
“Holly, please, sit down,” AJ said softly. “We can talk this through. I’m sure if—”
There was a tap at the door.
“Yeah?” Undertaker shouted out. Holly had expected him to order them to go the fuck away, but perhaps he was glad for the interruption, glad to not have to deal with her and her hysterics.
The door opened and Joker—of all people—stuck his head in.
“Joker. Come in. We were just discussing you.”
Holly sat back down slowly and turned stricken eyes on him. She was practically on the verge of tears, and he had to be here? Damn the man.
“Just wondered if you planned to spend some time with Holly. If you don’t need me for the next few hours, I’ll take off.”
“Seems we’ve all got something to figure out.”
Joker’s alert eyes bore into hers. Good. Let the man squirm for a change.
She lifted her chin and looked away.
“You and Holly been havin’ some problems?” Undertaker asked him.
“We’ve had to get some things ironed out, but I think we’re on the same page now.”
Undertaker looked to her, giving her a chance to talk. “Holly?”
“I’ve already told you my concerns.” She stood. “Do what you want.”
With that she marched out of the office. She was sure Undertaker would call her back—after all, no one walked out on him—but as she went through the door, she saw out of the corner of her eye, AJ’s hand on his arm as she shook her head.
She closed the door behind her, not sure why she felt like bursting into tears. The feeling overwhelmed her, but she’d be damned if she’d let any of them or the men downstairs see her do it. She dashed into her old room, closed the door, and fell on the bed.
***
“What the fuck was that about?” Undertaker’s sharp question was aimed at Joker.
He shrugged. “I’ve been trying to figure the girl out for weeks. Might have helped if I’d had a little more information goin’ in. So-Cal finally filled me in on some of it last night.”
Undertaker inhaled deeply. “That’s her private business, to share or not, as she chooses. So-Cal shoulda kept his mouth shut.”
“Why? Seems everyone knows but me, and I’m the one who’s gotta deal with her.”
Undertaker looked to his wife. “AJ?”
“I think the two of them have more to ‘iron out’ as he said, but they need to work it out between them. I do think she’s still in a fragile state, and as much as she’s trying to bluster her way through it, I think she still needs looking out for. Right now she could be influenced by the wrong people—pushed one way or another as easy as the wind blows. I think it’d be best if there was someone there to make sure she doesn’t make a bad decision that could send her spiraling out of control.”
Joker’s brows shot up. “That’s a hell of a lot to dump on my shoulders. Makin’ me responsible for how the rest of her fuckin’ life turns out.”
“Joker!” Undertaker snapped. “You don’t talk that way to my ol’ lady. Apologize before I shove my fist down your throat.”
He ran both his hands down his face. “Sorry. I was outta line. But you see how hard this is? We get on each other’s nerves.”
“Apology accepted, and you’re right, this is difficult for both of you, but whether she knows it or not, she does need you. She needs someone who isn’t going to let her pull crap and think she can get away with it. From what I’ve seen, I think you’re the perfect guy for the job.”
Joker raised a brow at Undertaker.
Undertaker grinned and shook his head. “Boy, you best go after her. Maybe cut her a little slack, let the leash out a little bit.”
“Derek!” AJ turned a stunned face to him, her hands on her hips.
“What? Babe, it’s an expression.”
She turned back to Joker. “For her to act like an adult, you have to treat her like one. Try to remember that.”
“Yes, ma’am.” His eyes cut to his president. “We done?”
Undertaker lifted his chin. “Get out of here.”
***
After the door closed, Undertaker slumped back on the edge of the desk. “What the hell was that about? What’s with the anger?”
“First off, let’s face it, she’s mad at the world right now and with good reason. She’ll work thru the anger eventually.”
“What’s her problem with Joker?”
She smiled, stepping into his arms again and settling her palms on his chest. “One, he’s not you. And two, he doesn’t cater to her.”
“Should I pull him off her?”
AJ considered it. “I don’t think so. Like I told him, she really does need him, no matter how much she protests.”
He ran his hands over her ass. “I’m glad one of us is sure about this.”
“It’ll all work out. Just give it time, sweetheart.”
“You say so.” He dropped his head and kissed her. “I ever tell you how sturdy this desktop is?”
She giggled. “I think you’ve actually shown me a time or two.”
“How ‘bout we make it three?” He twisted, picking her up and laying her out on top as she squealed. Then he leaned over her to kiss her again. “Have I told you I loved you today?”
She giggled, and lied. “Nope.”
“I love you, lady. More everyday.” He ran his hand over her little baby bump. “And I’ll love this little princess, too.”
“Shut up and kiss me.” Smiling, she pulled his head down, and for once, he didn’t argue.
***
Joker didn’t see Holly at the bar. A quick scan of the room proved she wasn’t at the pool tables. He checked outside—nothing. He checked in the kitchen with Mama Ray, but she hadn’t seen her
either.
His eyes hit the stairs, and he knew exactly where she’d gone. He climbed them two at a time and moved down the hall to the room she used to stay in. The door was closed. He tapped on it. Silence, so he turned the knob and stuck his head inside.
She was asleep across the mattress. He slipped inside, closing the door quietly, and approached the bed. Tear tracks stained her cheeks, her eyes red and puffy.
He reached out and shook her shoulder gently. “Hol.”
She startled awake, jumping at his touch.
“Sorry, babe. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
She rubbed her eyes, glancing around. “How long was I asleep?”
“Not long.”
“Were you waiting to take me back?”
“Actually, I wanted to talk.”
“About what?”
“You, me, us.”
“There is no us.”
He walked to the window, put his hands on the frame, and glanced at the sky.
“I didn’t tell him, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Her soft voice drew his head around, and his arms dropped to his side.
“It wasn’t.”
“What then?”
“I didn’t know, Holly. I didn’t know what happened to you. I still don’t. Not all of it. I was out of state when that shit went down with Black Jack.”
She ran her palms over her thighs. “Oh.”
“Last night I asked So-Cal to fill me in.”
She sucked her lips into her mouth, and then asked, “What did he tell you?”
“He told me about the Death Heads taking you and turning you over to Black Jack. How Undertaker found you the night Black Jack’s compound burned to the ground.”
She crossed her arms defensively, rubbing her upper arms.
“I knew you had feelings for Undertaker. I guess I never really understood why before.”
“That’s over.”
He nodded. “I just wanted to tell you, some of the things I said, well, I didn’t say them knowin’ all that, and I wouldn’t have said them if I’d known. You understand?”
“Sure.”
“I wouldn’t have done that, babe. I wouldn’t have ever made you feel bad about something like that—something that wasn’t your fault or your doing. I’m sorry, I’m probably not sayin’ this right. I just wanted you to know—”