She looks around her wall and bites her lip, then rushes over to a table and unearths a folder. “In here are the names and locations for each of the coordinators at the other villages.”
I should be saying something, but my brain is temporarily disconnected from my mouth.
She stares at my face like an inspector. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I focus on Ana’s face. The way her dark hair curls around the smooth line of her jaw. The little lines between her eyebrows that match Daniel’s when he gets upset. One hundred forty-two. Not a handful or even a dozen. One hundred forty-two villages just like this one filled with people who live by their own decisions and never worry about how some Machine will judge them. One hundred forty-two perfect examples of everything that is wrong with everything I’ve ever known. One hundred forty-two Cardinal lies I accepted, just like everyone else.
Light hands rest on my shoulders. “You’re looking a little shell shocked. I may have even worn myself out with all that.” Ana sinks into the chair next to me and rests her head back over the edge.
“I just thought.” I take a deep breath and stare at the world laid out in front of me pinned to the walls. “In a hundred years, I never would have imagined all of this. I’m not even sure what to say.”
Ana sits up and surveys the room. “Yeah, sorry. I guess this is a bit overwhelming. After I escaped, I was so afraid by the time I found people out here, they could have told me they were advanced life forms from outer space and I would have been okay with that.”
“And the Cardinal? He has to know you exist.”
“Oh he knows.” A wicked smile turns up the edges of Ana’s lips. “He just doesn’t know exactly where we are. There are thousands of abandoned cities throughout the country. Plus, some villages have several locations that they rotate through to keep the Cardinal off their trail. We stay away from the Territories and he tends to leave us alone. Every couple of years or so he sends some guards out to look for us. None have ever gotten close enough to be an issue.”
“And if they did?”
Ana stands up taller and looks me dead in the eyes. “This isn’t a game of hide-and-go-seek. The Cardinal would not hesitate to destroy us and take down every Freemen village he could get his hands on. Out here, we do what we have to in order to survive.”
I should be upset. In not so many words, she just admitted that the village is willing to kill in order to keep their secret safe. Even just thinking about taking someone’s life would be enough for the Machine to grant a one-way ticket to the PIT. But I’m not upset. I’m grateful I can sleep tonight feeling safe. I’m a monster and couldn’t possibly care any less.
“So what do you think?”
I look around the room, taking my time to really see it. Paper everywhere and maps that should be a foreign language, but actually might make sense to me. There’s a beauty in the chaos. Like the huge puzzles my grandmother used to work on at the kitchen table. I would sit on her lap and watch as she seemed to always know which of the identical pieces went into the right space.
Ana bounces on her toes, clutching her hands in front of her like a child waiting for their teacher’s approval.
I clutch at the knotted necklace that’s been with me since the beginning of this crazy journey. “It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Tell me everything.”
Ana’s eyes light up like fireworks on the Cardinal’s birthday. “The village map is only the beginning.” Her hands rub together as if we’re about to be co-conspirators in a nefarious scheme. “Let me tell you about the Pony Express.”
* * *
I stagger into the medical building and give Doc a nod on my way to our upstairs room. I can’t wave with the huge stack of blankets and new clothes piled in my arms. Ana was able to switch around some of our trades so we could all have more than one spare set of clothes. She insisted it was no big deal, but after only a week of helping her in the PE, I know just how much a single change can impact as many as a half-dozen other routes. I’m guessing by her request for a pre-lunch nap, she pulled more than one all-nighter to make it happen.
The door at the top of the stairs is closed, so I have to set everything down to open it. At this time of day, everyone else will be out working or getting ready for lunch. I reach for the doorknob, but freeze as shouting pours through the thin wooden door.
“What has gotten into you? You’ve changed completely.” Daniel’s voice is unmistakable, even with the muffled shouting.
“Well, you haven’t changed at all,” Patrice yells back at him. “Back at home, you were perfect little Daniel. The doting son that did whatever Dad told you. You do the same thing out here except Rebecca is the one calling the shots.”
Great. Patrice still hates me just as much as ever.
“Leave Rebecca out of it. This is between you and me and your bad attitude.”
“Are you kidding me? You think you’re so in love you can’t even see what’s going on?”
“Then explain it to me.”
“She makes all the decisions around here and you just run around trying like crazy to make her happy.”
“Of course, I want her to be happy.” There’s a pause, and I can picture Daniel rubbing his hands over his face the way he does when he’s too frustrated to speak. “I love Rebecca. She’s my wife.”
“And I’m your sister. That used to mean something.”
This isn’t a conversation I should hear, but I can’t leave. I need Patrice to stop hating me, and maybe this will clue me in on how to make that happen.
“Cardinal on a cracker, Patrice. We got out of the PIT and found a safe place to live. While the rest of us work to make this place a home, you sit up here pouting, and I haven’t said a single word about it. What more do you want from me?”
The springs of a bed creak. “I want you to figure out a way to let me go home.”
“That’s not going to happen.” Daniel’s voice is loud enough now that even Doc can probably hear it.
“And whose fault is that?” Patrice’s voice lifts up to near hysterical levels. “Rebecca. The perfect one who can do no wrong.”
“You have no idea what Rebecca has done.”
“I know it was her genius idea to hack the ceremony feed, and that means it’s her fault I’m stuck out here.”
“Everyone we ever met back in the Territories was willing to sacrifice the world if it meant getting ahead, but Rebecca is willing to sacrifice herself for the world. If you’d stop living in a world of self-pity and hate, you’d see that.”
“And maybe if you stopped staring at Rebecca like she hung the moon, you’d see that I’m here, too.”
Footsteps pound across the room and the door jerks open before I can move. Patrice stares at me through the doorway.
“Patrice, I—”
“Save it for someone who cares what you have to say.” Patrice pushes past me on the stairs and stomps down through Doc’s lobby and out the door.
Daniel replaces her in the doorway, his mouth droopy with defeat. Who knows how long they’ve been up here arguing.
“Here, let me get these.” He reaches down and easily grabs the stack of blankets and clothes. Back in the room he dumps them in a very non-Daniel manner on an empty bed.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Not much to say.” He clomps over to our pushed together beds and collapses across the width of them face down. “She’s right. I did everything my father told me to do. Including keeping quiet about the information I found about who really gets sent to the PIT.”
I sink to the mattress next to him. “So what? I did everything my mother told me.”
“This is different.” He sits up, but doesn’t look at me. “My father was grooming me to replace him on the Cardinal’s council someday. I didn’t just follow his instructions. I was a Cardinal fanatic. I memorized everything he said and took every word of it to heart. Every morning, I would recite bits of his speeches to myself in the mirror. The
re wasn’t an ounce of doubt in my mind that the Cardinal was responsible for every ounce of happiness in my life.”
“He fooled everyone.” I grab his hand and run my fingers over the hard calluses on his palm. “Myself included.”
“But am I doing it again? We get here and I never once stopped to question any of it. Liam asks me for something and I work to make it happen. You have to know that I’d move mountains to make you happy.”
“And you call me out on my crazy whenever I go over the deep-end.”
“But I—”
“No.” I shush him with my hand. “Patrice is wrong on this one. You don’t follow me blindly. You support me and love me and challenge me to be better. You were the one that showed me I’m more than a series of disappointments to my mother.”
I slide off the bed and kneel in front of Daniel, grabbing his face with both hands so he’s forced to look me in the eye.
“We were all different people before the Rejection. You are not that person who parroted the words of the Cardinal. I don’t know that Daniel. The Daniel I know is careful with his words so he doesn’t cause hurt in others, but isn’t afraid to speak up when he knows he’s right. My Daniel didn’t hide away with knowledge that could make a difference. You stood in front of the camera when you didn’t have to.”
Daniel pulls me up until I’m sitting in his lap, his strong arms wrapped around me.
“We are all different people now. Patrice included. We had the PIT, and as awful as it was, it forced me to see the world for more than the fake piece of perfection the Cardinal is trying to hold on to. Patrice will have her moment of realization, too. It just might take longer because she isn’t starving or fighting off attackers. And that’s a good thing.
“You were patient with me when I kept insisting I could be happy living a lie as Eric’s pretend wife. You need to be patient with Patrice, too. She’ll come around.”
Daniel kisses my forehead. “When did you get so wise?”
“Probably around the same time I admitted to being in love with you.”
“Very wise indeed.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
“Now, there’s a demand I’ll follow blindly any day.”
Eighteen
“Perfect.” I add Constance’s order for the schoolhouse into my Noteboard. “Let me know if you need any other supplies for the summer apprenticeships.”
Constance picks Nellie up and swings her onto her hip like she’s been taking care of children her whole life. “That should do it. Do we need anything else, Nellie?” Constance tickles her belly and the miniature Ana lets out a stream of infectious giggles.
“Okay, I’ll see you at dinner.” I push out of the schoolhouse, still laughing. Outside, the spring sun warms my face. It won’t be too much longer before summer arrives. Hard to believe we’ve been here three weeks already.
Strong arms snake around my waist. “Just the lady I wanted to see.” Daniel nuzzles against my ear before spinning me around to face him. “I have a present for you.”
“Well, I can’t say no to that.”
Daniel pulls a Noteboard out of his bag, a huge grin on his face.
“Not to sound ungrateful, but I already have one of these.” I shake my own Noteboard just for emphasis.
“Oh no, you don’t have this,” he says, pushing the power button. “And trust me when I say you’ll definitely want it.”
The screen lights up, but doesn’t have the normal menu screen I’m accustomed to seeing at boot up. Instead, the screen has several boxes with the names of Territory cities, all of them in fairly close proximity to Allmore. Daniel smiles at me again before tapping one of the boxes.
The screen flashes a few times before a live news broadcast pops onto the screen. I reach for the power button to cut off the signal, but Daniel pulls the Noteboard out of reach. “Daniel, you have to turn it off. The Cardinal could pick up on our signal and track us down.”
“No, he can’t.” He pulls the screen back down to where I can see it. “I was able to disable the outgoing signal. Well, I couldn’t disable it completely, but it’s so scrambled they’ll never be able to track it. But now we can pick up the news broadcast.”
He taps a button on the side and the nasally voice of the host pulses from the Noteboard. “I figured you and Ana could use it to keep track of planned guard movements in order to keep your riders out of trouble.”
“This is amazing.” I lift up on my tip toes to reward him with a kiss. “Why don’t you come back to the Pony Express office with me so you can show Ana?”
“I’d love to, but I need to take one of these treasures over to Liam, and then Thomas wants me to come have a look at the wiring for the house they’re working on. I’ll see you at dinner.” Daniel leans down to return my kiss and then runs off into the spring sunshine.
* * *
“Hey, lady. Back so soon?” Ana nods up at me from her spot on the floor, surrounded by half a dozen piles of paper. “Thanks for going out for me. I just don’t have the energy today. This cold is kicking my butt and I’m not sleeping well at all.”
“No problem, you rest up all you need to get back to one hundred percent.” I pull my Noteboard out and hand it over. “Here are the lists from Frank and Greg. Constance will let me know if she needs anything else soon.”
Ana takes a look and then hands it back to me. “Perfect. Before you add those to the trade route, can you show me what you did with the southwest run? These routes are completely different than what we’ve been doing.”
I sit down on the floor where she’s comparing the trade route I drew up with the old route. “We don’t have to change it, but if we go through Willow Creek instead of Canyon Vista we can shave two days off the travel time. Then instead of getting cornmeal from Canyon Vista, we can get it from Independence when we do our biannual stop for vanilla. Carol said the cornmeal will keep fine if we get a six month supply all at once.”
Ana stares at the map for another second then claps her hands, a huge smile on her face. “How’d you do that? We’ve been running this old route for at least six years and this never even crossed my mind.”
“I don’t know, but all of this,” I wave my hands at the stacks of maps and trade lists, “just makes sense. It’s like how Daniel can pick up a new piece of technology and figure out how it works and ten ways to make it better without even trying. He’s tried to show me how the Noteboards work and none of it ever sank in.” I twist the leather bracelet around my wrist like it can keep me from jinxing myself. “Everything about this room feels right to me.”
Ana smiles at me with watery eyes that may or may not be from the spring cold she can’t seem to shake. “Having you here feels right to me, too.”
A knock at the door interrupts our conversation.
“Hello?”
“Come in.” Ana’s voice comes out thin and weak.
Patrice inches into the room, a Noteboard pressed to her chest. Her eyes widen as she takes it in and we all wait in silence for several minutes while she gets her first look at the PE office.
“What can we help you with, Patrice?” I don’t mean to be curt, but I don’t have time to hear a list of items Patrice thinks she can’t live without.
“No need to be snippy, Rebecca.” Patrice hands the Noteboard over while her eyes continue to sweep the room. “I’m here for Doc.”
“Ah, see I told you eventually you’d get bored and want a job.” Ana is beaming despite the flush of her face.
“It’s not a job.” Patrice finally stops her investigation and faces us. “I was just there and he asked me to bring this over for him.”
“Just there, huh? So this has nothing to do with spending weeks as an anti-social hermit without anyone to talk to except during meals.” Ana coughs, but it comes out more like a laugh. “You aren’t even in the least bit bored?”
“I haven’t been a hermit. Eric’s been letting me hang out—”
Patrice stops cold, her brown ey
es as wide as saucers and her mouth drawn up in an O. So miss-priss hasn’t been holed up alone all day. She’s been slipping downstairs to spend the day with Eric. Interesting.
“I have to go.” She uncrosses her arms and holds out a hand. “If you have the list, I’ll need the Noteboard back.”
“Sure thing.” I hold it out and she snatches it from my hand. “But wait just a second and I have something else for you.” I grab the Noteboard Daniel just gave me and hand it to Patrice. “While you’re lounging around in bed, not being bored, you can use this to keep an eye on the news stations. Let us know if there is any discussion of guard movement or anything weather related that might impact trade routes.”
“What is this?” Ana stands to check out the Noteboard over Patrice’s shoulder.
“Daniel managed to scramble the outgoing signal so we can spy on the Cardinal. Or at least, what the Cardinal puts on the airwaves.”
Patrice taps the screen a few times. “So, to be clear, you’re saying it can be my job to sit in our room all day and watch the newsfeed?”
“Unless, of course, you found something else to do. I’m sure Elizabeth would love a hand taking care of the herd.” I clap my hands as if I’ve just thought of the best idea ever. “Or you could go apprentice under Daniel! I’m sure he’d absolutely love to teach you everything he knows.”
“I don’t think so.” She stacks the Noteboards on top of each other and heads toward the door, her eyes already glued to the screen.
“Don’t forget to take Doc’s Noteboard back,” Ana calls to her as she leaves.
Rite of Revelation (Acceptance Book 2) Page 11