Nothing But a Star

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Nothing But a Star Page 14

by Jeremy Reed

with guided clusters, depleted uranium,

  and a chemical equator—

  the northern hemisphere 120 parts

  per billion more polluted than the south.

  The best investment’s always poetry;

  there’s never any peak to fall,

  no estimable catastrophic crash.

  September light’s like 80 carat gold,

  that pure it turns to gold dust in my hand

  and lazes there, a virtual UV sheath

  like dipping my fingers into gold paint.

  The planet rests at tipping point,

  its bankers in dispersal to rocky cities

  (Beijing, Dubai, St Petersburg),

  the sun today a universal gift

  cocktailed with stardust, a bright energy

  that bumps up orange, purple, blue,

  a natural high to the morning glories

  effortlessly opening with soundless lift.

  Addicted

  I’m a benzo addict.

  I pop disc-shaped blue pills

  from a blister pack.

  Diazepam 10 mgs,

  white if they’re Indian.

  I get what I can.

  they taste like the Moon,

  moondust on the tongue

  filtering my chemistry

  doing my brain

  like things that get wiped

  in the pouring rain.

  They don’t do me right

  but I need their dull glow

  binding to receptor sites

  sublingual for fast

  like a NASA route

  into the galaxy.

  I buy from a man

  who’s straight, but he’s dodgy,

  in the back of the bar.

  Valium’s like spot gold:

  its shares on the increase,

  a chemical star

  that’s rare, on prescription,

  as Martian graffiti.

  I can’t get clean

  I lick traces off my hands,

  a powdery sparkle

  of synthesised sand.

  I want a blue pill

  to cushion my end

  metabolised like a planet,

  to go out that way

  habituated hazy

  as a foggy blue October day.

  Never Too Busy to be Beautiful

  Rain east of me: a steamy greenhouse surge

  of liberating energies,

  5 minutes of sensational dazzle,

  the sky like purple mascara, the heat

  underwritten like summer pop

  into the city’s reconstructed energies,

  I mean those three tomato-red crane arms

  positioned so coitally

  over Central St Giles, I’ll never see

  their placement twice the same, with three red lights

  alert under churned up indigo skies,

  a transient on-site geometry

  my Lumix saves for digital rehab,

  Centre Point—26.08.09,

  a little slice of psychogeography

  in the accelerated hissy year

  I’ll remember for how your tan

  went up a tone like cappuccino froth

  powdered with chocolate: your skin wore the light

  as something coloured in, all those photons

  directed from big dusty rocks in space

  to upgrade an orchid-ivory nape.

  The rain gives up: Renzo Piano’s smart site

  clears into focus, I move on again,

  the city breaking up like a signal,

  the sky slashed coffee and turquoise, the bits

  reintegrated into rainy local shape.

  Pulling the Cork

  A slow dig, a ritual spiral,

  a DNA helical twist

  of metal punched into the cork—

  Peter’s corkscrew’s flaked ketchup red

  and oxidised from kitchen jabs,

  with rusty arms

  like bits of scaffolding

  slung over grungy tangy docks.

  I get in fast with a Macon Village,

  slow with a resistant obsidian Merlot,

  the route in an instinctual thing

  like keyhole surgery,

  the skewed, the fissured, the rammed

  that Peter leaves me, coax

  to a popped conclusion, a pop

  that’s incisively ejaculative

  and sounds to Peter filtered up a floor

  like a red carp breaking surface

  on a still pond. Red, white or pink

  the way out’s always different

  in the gradations of the pull

  that’s moist or dry, the nose sticky

  with a concentrated bullet of fruit.

  The act’s surreal like bottle dentistry

  performed under the street in Holland Park,

  the glasses upstairs ready for the pour,

  clean as I can make it, a red swirl

  travelling a fast pathway to the brain.

  J&B

  A J&B slug, no measures,

  the colour of an amber traffic light

  facing down on a rainy day,

  twists in the glass

  like spot gold shares

  brokered by my chemistry.

  Its personalities are malt and grain

  catching fire like sunlight

  bursting into rain.

  J&B’s my Sunday flavour,

  chemical comforter,

  booster, it frees up the day

  and puts an orange halo

  round the things I do

  like a beady rainbow

  on a matte grey afternoon,

  tangy Islay inflections

  of seaweed cooking in the malts

  as marine-themed undercurrents

  adding a deep sea feel

  each time I review the glass

  reflectively as drinkers do

  looking for a double

  a fidgety psycho

  in the tumbler’s bass notes

  rumbling at the bottom

  like sleepy thunder

  connecting with my poetry,

  coming up shine as whiskey

  polishes the line.

  Sweet Thing

  There’s one a day in every street

  the twinkling starburst catch-light in a look

  finding me out, hair corona

  shot through with peacock and hot pink,

  the shower starting synchronistically

  0.5 seconds after eye contact

  as incidental chemistry—

  the endless permutations of a type

  obsessing me, ambivalent event

  like sexuality, sweet thing

  I call it, rushed adrenalin, a high

  drenching my blood like a meteor surge

  that stays suspended in free fall

  all afternoon, and if we stop and meet

  it’s because like attracts, a lick of glam

  reciprocated in Soho

  or back of Bedfordbury, two of us

  finding each other in the millions

  and noting it like a colour

  mixed to the exact dangerous zone,

  a register that hooks, sweet thing

  letting me know that we’re never alone.

  Broken Hearted

  The pieces never fit again,

  a Jim Dine love heart’s red, or pink, or blue,

  less heart-shaped than imagined so,

  or my bits left over from you

  dispersed as a cellular galaxy,

  debris that hurts, as though the muscle’s shot,

  the hole’s that deep I feel the pain

  come up that palpably, it locks

  contracted like a fist

  and out again.

  Emotional debris: rejection’s

  a plane shot down by a shoulder-launched missile,

  the fuel tanks detonating ripping flame

  in orange streamers like an octopu
s.

  I go down with it: can’t get right all day

  for loss, or colour-code my mood

  a comfortable foggy aquamarine.

  You left taking so much of me

  I’m light as light arriving from a star

  so quietly it gets there without noise

  created in deep space. And you, you’re gone,

  taking our story like a library

  compactly fitted in your memory bank,

  dead information come alive some days

  to share obliquely with somebody else.

  There’s kindness in the world. This blond Thai boy

  offering me his green and white patterned shirt;

  but you, you’ve gone, leaving my heart broken

  like a bottle shattered against a wall,

  listening out nights to songs that never heal

  like Bob Dylan’s sweet-sad ‘We Had It All.’

  Global Spin

  I click on Lisa’s photo: back to me

  knee-high in Pacific thunder

  she’s out off the edge of the world,

  the wave hemming her breezy polka dots,

  her waist a bottle-neck size 8,

  the image colour-toned by the printer

  as aqua, inky blues, Lisa’s black hair

  shaped like a dense square-cut Cleopatra,

  the slide beneath her, swirly undertow

  that she’s resisting. If you walk too far

  you’ll always end up in a war

  is my assumption, but she’s just off-world,

  a stony whirling twenty metres out

  of U.S. beach, forested with seaweed—

  punky red and emerald spiking black,

  massive, uprooted, mineral deposit,

  her right hand extended towards the sun

  and somewhere out there waiting for our need,

  Earth No. 2, Saturn’s blue moon Titan,

  crunchy with great lakes of hydrocarbons,

  a rock shaped like an orbiting headphone,

  slugging it out in the black galaxy.

  Lisa seems off-limits, right on the edge

  like the damaged 21st century,

  the error in our genes repeated by

  the Earth, both cooking in a burnt-out spin.

  Lisa gestures to dramatic effect,

  she holds a flower, the inkjet kills the red,

  but like us all she’s looking up and out

  towards an exit, and she’s left her boots

  as black Converse post-human exhibits

  behind her on the beach to risk out there

  contact with currents, the ocean’s live pull

  on her skinny figure curved like the Earth,

  her feet gripping onto unstable things,

  her other hand snatching at windblown hair.

  Donald Fagen’s Top Ten

  (New Frontier)

  Coke lined in a sassy scarlet Buick:

  the song parties in a bomb-proof bunker

  halogen lights on fucking to Brubeck.

  (Morph the Cat)

  A shape-shifter: a cat that morphs like Aids,

  gets under New York’s skin, a pandemic

  that has people wake up with orange eyes.

  (IGY)

  What if poets were a charity

  instead of refugees: image-utopians

  following Fagen into the White House?

  (Trans-Island Skyway)

  Sat-nav in a car that’s an ergonomic biosphere,

  the crash victim’s an alien on the road,

  neural pathways programmed faster than light.

  (Walk Between the Raindrops)

  Thunder shatters the indigo Miami sky.

  Break-ups have pink linings under the black.

  The right kiss traps a raindrop between lips.

  (The Great Pagoda of Funn)

  Funn’s spelt like edgy gangsta lingo:

  two together, like watching a rainbow

  open expansive purple in a dream.

  (Teahouse on the Tracks)

  Signalling UFOs with a Bic lighter

  out on the porch, the ultimate getaway’s

  not with a boy, but an extra-terrestrial.

  (The Nightfly)

  The retro broadcasting WJAZ

  for consolation. Lost love’s like an empty fridge

  found in the middle of the Sahara.

  (Security Joan)

  He’s clean on the scan but misses his flight:

  Joan who delays him’s waiting in her car;

  the air smells of planes, damp and kerosene.

  (Tomorrow’s Girls)

  Girls on the beaches from another star:

  they’re moony ETs without DNA.

  He watches them with flames roofing his car.

  What John Ashbery Eats for Lunch

  Blackcurrant snapdragons seen through black shades

  in a scorched earth Hampstead garden.

  I got their palpable velvety lobes

  between finger and thumb like an earring,

  a fleshy alert to real time.

  I left them, debating internally

  what John Ashbery had for lunch

  (I’m told the subject isn’t poetry);

  Meze with a blond Pinot Grigio

  or something gastro Heston Blumenthal

  or a meshy spaghetti strung like thoughts?

  (3 lines to edit out): what sticks in consciousness

  is what the eye retrieves bad side of town,

  the singer fronting camp with his Varieté

  confessionals on stage, or your first book’s

  attempt to find a micro-niche

  to saturate. There’s more books than rain

  shaken out like a tambourine

  over the city’s mirrored towers. I move

  the poem west to Selfridges,

  write there, wondering this time if Ashbery’s

  in tea-mood like myself with dumpy skies

  blackening over Marble Arch, the build

  slow in its pile-up, charcoal to violet

  and loosening as the shower sparkles free.

  Mister Handsome

  The way you look: north face of the jacket

  accessorised by a red Soviet patch,

  south side a gunned on badge attack,

  an H&M original—

  a zippy architecture customised

  by you the detailist, black to the hip

  butch number, brushed cotton cheapie

  modified flying jacket, you Jamie

  wear as today’s ultimate hit,

  red slashed text-sloganed T-shirt winning through

  as taut reminder, the jacket complete,

  a modern statement as the time we fill

  talking together of how to get by

  theming a mood that’s irremediably blue

  blue blue.

  Just a Shot Away

  My raspberry pop-up toaster delivers

  its wholemeal page for berry jam

  at 8 a.m.

  like a nutritional bulletin.

  It’s space junk occupies my kitchen time

  not rain printing out Liberty patterns

  in atomised surges, the litter belt

  orbiting 135 miles up,

  satellite parts, ballistic bits

  bulleting at 17,000 mph,

  the mapping of intelligent debris

  into brain cells shaped out of oddities,

  an astronaut’s glove, rocket casings, bolts,

  a driven chain of man-made energies

  looped like a metallic stingray;

  they come up in my head off news

  of an orbital collision

  over whiteout Siberia, my toast

  bronze as a tide-washed beach, my tea

  twisting Formosa into puffy steam,

  the day linked to my protein synthesis

  and what I’ll do with my hissy spray cans

  gunning graffiti shapes on the one wall
/>
  I keep for throwing colours in my room,

  aqua, scarlet, hot pink, silver and blue

  scrambled vocabularies as poetry

  done at a run like the act’s criminal.

  Broadwick Street

  The Soho heartbeat—Soho stems from it—

  the John Snow pavement spill, a peacock lick

  of sky dissolving into grey

  like smudged eye shadow, Cowling & Wilcox,

  where I enthuse all afternoon

  over Pilot and Pentel pens

  (a Hi Tecpoint liquid ink rollerball

  V5 0.3mm line,

  my purchase) and the sky throws up

  big quantum changes in my life,

  a look, a recognition in myself

  of long-range correlations shining through

  like opening a chocolate box

  to snap on mint, only I’m shook about

  mid-street, and lipstick-red geraniums

  bleed on a residential floor,

  chessboard interior, ceiling like a cake.

  I hang on the corner of Marshall Street,

  deep city, and feed on my time

  and lack of it—Agent Provocateur,

  a pointer at the other end

  to confected fantasies: 3 p.m.,

  aqua light, my decisions made, I’ll do

  just what I want like taking a fast bend.

  Vauxhall Bridge

  The river’s grey brain-matter over green

  a tidal hypothalamus

  dumping on crunchy shingle, slowed-up drag

  under pixellating September drizzle.

  If I had a microphone

  I’d hear the river’s heartbeat, double bass

  descending to zero

  up Lambeth way. I’ve come from Bill’s,

  (Bill Franks) a personal hero,

  floored second floor at Peninsula Heights,

  you sight the river below like a pool

  green as a cat’s eye shot hazel.

  I do a valium to up the scene

  see green-grey as more optimal

  on benzo efficacy.

  A sighting cormorant monitors the beach—

  a T-bar head on a black umbrella,

  close up a sheeny bottle green–

  and repositions downriver in puddle slosh.

  I’ve left the arches for the Whitehall side,

  the oligarchs and czars who’ve rocked the world

 

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