Her eyes locked on his. “I love Ian so much, I don’t know what to do sometimes.”
“Yeah,” Brendan said quietly. “Same.”
Diana stared up at him. “I don’t want things to be different.”
“They already are, Di. It had to happen.”
“Exactly.” She rested her cheek against his chest. From the side, she saw herself in the mirror, in the embrace of a twin, making her head spin. “Everything’s changing. So much has happened, and it’s all so fast. It’s good, but— I’m completely overwhelmed.”
When she looked up, she met hazel eyes, as full of secrets as in the high school election photo on the wall.
“What do you want, Diana?” He pulled her head back, just a little, fingers twined in her hair.
Dear God, she’d expected Brendan to tell her how to handle last night. No, she’d hoped he would.
“I want things to stay the same for awhile,” she murmured. “I want to go back and take all the best pieces from the past and bring them into now. I want the rest to disappear. I want everything to be better than it used to be.”
“I want that too.” Brendan held her gaze. Diana tried to relax into his touch, to forget about sex for two damn seconds, to be close. “But it’s not possible.”
Brendan's voice was still soft, but oh Jesus, the bulge pressing into her stomach was so hard.
“Can we get Ian in here?” Her throat was dry. “Because the three of us need to talk.”
Through the bedroom door came the thuds of feet pounding up stairs. Voices carried down the hall, yelling and laughing — the twins’ friends. Diana sprang back as Brendan dropped his arms.
“Fuck,” he muttered. She could have sworn the other O’Brian brother stood a foot away from her, struggling for calm. She pulled damp hair off her neck, trying to breathe.
“Where’d B go?” someone hollered from the stairs.
“Betcha he’s in his room with a girl. Let’s break the door down.”
Lightning-quick, Brendan pitched the handcuffs into the closet, pulled the door shut, and dashed back to give Diana’s shoulder strap a firm tug upward. She hadn’t even noticed it slipping down.
“Make them leave,” she whispered. “Just get Ian.”
“No time.” Brendan swiped a hand over his hair. “It’ll be fine. We’ll talk later, I promise. Act normal.”
“How do I do that, again?”
Brendan just patted her on the back, in a way that lived somewhere between brotherly and very much not.
The doorknob rattled. More voices filled the hall, along with Ian’s laughter. An hour in the same place with no contact had driven her crazy. She needed to hold Ian’s hand, feel his arms around her, get her head on straight. She needed to go back to Brendan as big brother — nothing more, nothing less.
As the door flew open and people poured in, Diana went straight to Ian. She hoped the twins’ friends were too drunk to notice or care that she was the girl in Brendan’s bedroom. She caught Ian’s startled expression before she wrapped her arms around him like they'd been separated for a week. Standing on tiptoe, she gave him a good, long kiss. His shirt was still off. His bare back was sticky, sheened with sweat.
“Oh, so that’s how it is,” she heard Keith say.
Ian held her in the kiss a minute longer. When they separated, he glanced from her to Brendan, who was ushering everyone into the room with a big smile like he’d expected them to drop by.
“Everything okay?” he asked in a low tone. Diana nodded. Later, they’d talk. She wanted to believe Brendan so badly. Ian cupped her chin. Then a grin split his face. “Uh-huh,” he said to Keith. “That’s how it is.”
Brendan’s bedroom was suddenly very full, overflowing with the twins’ friends. And everyone was looking. At least a dozen pairs of eyes were focused on her and Ian, mid-passionate reunion.
“Sorry, who are you?” one of the girls asked.
“Yeah, who’s this, O’Brian?”
“I’m Diana Cooper. I live next door.” Diana tried a smile. Even if she didn’t know who the hell she was right now, one thing she could be sure of: she was herself.
“Hey, I remember her,” another girl exclaimed. “She was valedictorian this year. My little brother was in her class. I’m Taylor,” she added to Diana. “You’re going to Yale, right? What are you doing with this lowlife?” Taylor pointed to Ian.
“She’s my girlfriend.” The grin hadn’t left Ian’s face. One solid arm draped over her shoulder. Girlfriend. The word made Diana fizz with nervous excitement from head to toe.
“Seriously? Valedictorian, Ivy League chick, with someone who doesn’t know what school is? Is this a joke?”
“It’s one of O’Brian’s pranks, Tay.” The guy who was speaking hooted with laughter. “How much did he pay you to go along with it?” he asked Diana.
“Not enough,” she replied. The laughter made her breathe easier.
“You shit!” Taylor whacked Ian across the chest. “When were you going to tell us? B, did you know about this?”
Over by the closet, Brendan smiled easily. “Yeah, I knew. I’ve known for quite a while.”
A glance between the twins caught and held. Then another girl came up to Brendan. Putting her arm around him, long hair swaying, she whispered in his ear. Diana looked away before she pictured those glow-in-the-dark handcuffs on someone else’s wrists.
“I was going to tell you guys sometime.” Ian whistled innocently and squeezed Diana’s shoulders. “Maybe in six months. Diana spilled the beans.”
She smiled brightly. “I guess I couldn’t hold back anymore.”
“Six months?” the prank guy muttered under his breath. “O’Brian’s optimistic.”
“He looks really happy, Hunter,” Taylor whispered. “And she looks like she can keep him in line.”
“Yeah?” Hunter looked Diana over, obviously sizing her up.
“Guys, I can hear you,” Ian said. He looked like nothing could touch him. “So can Diana.”
She shrugged. “Hear what? I don’t hear anything. Except how much your friends love you and their high opinion of you.”
She was relieved to see smiles. People rearranged themselves, settling onto Brendan’s bed and and the floor. Introductions were made, and she tried to keep track of a dozen names.
Ian guided her to a spot on the bed. As they settled against Brendan’s pillows, he pulled her close, grinning at her like they hadn’t gone together to a dark and wild place the night before. Maybe it was gone from his system. He’d let out the beast, and now she was left holding it.
Brendan opened his closet — no sign of the handcuffs — and deftly moved out a whole row of trophies to reveal a gleaming collection of bottles. Diana blinked at the stash of alcohol. Brendan’s closet was as well-stocked as a liquor store, down to the mini-fridge in the corner and the stack of red plastic cups.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alyssa, the girl who’d whispered to Brendan, motion him away from the bottles. She put her hands on his broad shoulders and pushed him into the desk chair. He smiled tolerantly and sat down, letting her perch on his lap.
“So where’d your graduation speech come from?” Taylor asked. She leaned toward Diana. “I’m not kidding, it really spoke to me. I could tell you’d lived what you were talking about, the whole ‘try something that’s just not you,’ even though you looked like such a straight arrow.”
“Thanks.” Diana laughed and laced her fingers through Ian’s. She needed to be alone with him, she needed to be alone with him and Brendan, she needed to be alone with herself… “Honestly, Ian helped. I wrote it for him too.”
“You did?” Taylor looked from Diana to Ian with a knowing smile. “She did?”
“Brendan helped too,” Diana added quickly.
Brendan waved her away. “Nah. It was all Di and Ian.”
Diana eyed him as he absently rubbed Alyssa’s back. Brendan was drawing the same slow circles he’d drawn on her own back a
few minutes ago, with none of the urgency. She wondered if Alyssa meant anything to him, if any of the girls Brendan had been with meant anything. If his gut had ever twisted for someone, if his heart had ever ached for someone.
Hunter grinned at her. “So is O’Brian wearing you out? You know he has a rep with the ladies. And that rep includes walking funny the next day.”
Taylor gave his shoulder a shove. “You’re so nasty.”
Ian’s arm tightened around Diana, and he gave Hunter a clear look of warning. The protection was nice, but did she really need it?
Diana shrugged. “Who looks more tired? Him or me?”
“Him. Definitely him.” Hunter roared with laughter. “So what do you do when you’re not wearing O’Brian out, Yale girl?”
She wished she could think of something cool and flippant to say, but all that came out was the truth. “I work in a bio lab.”
“Doing what?” Everyone was looking at her now.
Diana pushed her hair behind her ears. “I run polymerase chain reactions. It’s a way to make copies of a piece of DNA. It’s really boring,” she added quickly. “I just put test tubes in a machine and watch it all day.”
For a minute there was dead silence. Then Taylor burst out laughing and grabbed Ian’s arm.
“How’d you get her?”
Ian shrugged. “She likes my pretty face.”
“You understand what I do,” Diana protested. “We were talking about it the other night.”
“O’Brian’s good at faking it.” Keith leaned over to pat her shoulder. Diana itched to swat his hand away.
“Which O’Brian do you mean?” she retorted. “‘Cause Ian doesn’t fake it.”
Low chuckles and oohs ran around the room. Amusement showed on some faces, confusion on others. Even with the alcohol-loaded closet, Diana had been wondering how many of the twins’ friends were in on the good twin-bad twin game. Now she had her answer: some, but not all. She caught Brendan’s raised eyebrows as he met her quick glance.
Keith held up his hands, abashed. At the same time, Ian’s pinch on her thigh made her twitch, while Brendan said affably, “Keith, come over here. We found some old yearbooks. You have to see this.”
Keith went. The conversation shifted.
“What?” Diana whispered to Ian. His hand still rested on her thigh.
“Sweetheart.” His low voice brushed her ear. “Take it easy.”
“Do you want your friends to think you’re dumb?” she whispered fiercely. Ian blinked. “Sorry. That came out so wrong.”
“I want to see you not get in a brawl with Keith. Dude would sustain serious damage if you really lost your temper.”
“Come on.” She breathed a little easier. “You don’t want to see that?”
“Never mind, I’d buy tickets. Front row.” He nuzzled her ear.
“You can have tickets for free. But I only want to brawl with you.” She squeezed his hand, grateful that Brendan had managed to distract everyone.
“That’s more like it. Now? My room?”
God. Her body buzzed. She wanted to. But the knowing smiles on some of the faces, watching her and Ian sidelong, kept her from dragging him across the hall, into the privacy of his bedroom, and begging him to fuck her senseless.
“Later,” she whispered. “Tonight.”
Ian gave her the crooked smile that made her insides turn over. “You’re the boss.”
“Me? Uh-uh. You are.”
“Not even close.”
Brendan had opened his laptop and turned on some music. It filled the bedroom, mellow enough to let everyone talk, but a definite presence. Pulsing, filling the space with steady guitar.
Fortunately, she and Ian weren’t the center of attention anymore. A handful of other people sprawled on the bed with them, trading gossip and talking about evening plans. Keith, Taylor, and Hunter were pawing through yearbooks and watching old videos on their phones, calling out high school memories as if they’d happened yesterday.
Brendan was completely focused on Alyssa, talking in low tones. His hand, toying with her long blonde hair, looked a lot less like just friends and a lot more like foreplay. Diana tried to ignore them, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that the girl on Brendan’s lap could be anyone.
“Diana?” A voice echoed down the hall — her mother’s. “Are you up here, honey? Dad and I are leaving—”
Brendan’s door, already open a crack, pushed open further. Mrs. Cooper stopped short, her eyes widening.
Diana froze. There was no disguising the way her bare leg draped over Ian’s as they lounged on Brendan’s bed, or how he was intimately playing with her fingers. There was no question which twin was entwined with her, shirtless, his hair messy, or which twin sat alert in his desk chair, fully dressed, his lap empty now.
Mrs. Cooper swiveled from Diana to Ian to Brendan, her mouth an O of shock. Brendan was already getting up. He must have reacted as soon as the door opened, because Alyssa stood to the side, giving Diana a sympathetic look.
“Mrs. Cooper,” he began smoothly, “I’m so glad you came in. Diana is—“
“—coming out to talk with you,” Diana said over him. “Privately, Mom? In the hall.”
A few snickers ran around the bedroom. She ignored them as she climbed off the bed. Ian got up too, and she shook her head slightly at him.
In the hall, her mother didn’t try to keep her voice down. “Diana Cooper, did I just see what I thought I saw?’
“Yes, Mom. You did.”
“Ian. You’re…with Ian.”
“Yes.”
Mrs. Cooper’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “When, exactly, were you planning to tell Dad and me?”
“Soon. Really soon.” Diana pushed her bangs back. “I’m sorry.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Like this — a few weeks. Before that — all our lives. I just didn’t know.”
Mrs. Cooper took a deep breath. “I’m trying to stay calm, Diana. I’m really trying to stay calm.”
“Mom, there’s nothing wrong.”
“Look. I know the twins are old friends,” her mother began carefully. “And it's wonderful that you reconnected with them...both. But getting involved with Ian— Honey, he has a history. Years and years of bad behavior. He’s not good for you. And God knows it's awkward when we're such close friends with his parents—”
“Mom, no. That’s not true. Ian's just...so good.” This wasn't easy. Her face was hot, and sweat pricked under her arms. She struggled to put everything she felt for Ian — the intensity, the need, the want, the rightness — into words. “He's incredibly loyal and caring and strong and he loves his family, and he's smart and hilarious and always wants to try new things, and I'm the happiest I've ever been with him, and I just...really...love him.”
“Love who?” Her father’s voice made her start. As she turned, it became obvious this wasn’t a cozy Cooper family moment.
Mrs. O’Brian hovered nearby, holding a bowl of fresh salad, looking hopeful. Mr. O’Brian stood behind her at the top of the stairs, a broad smile on his face. Blood rushed to her cheeks when she saw both twins outside Brendan’s open bedroom door. She hadn’t even heard them come out, and of course everyone inside the bedroom was craning their necks to watch. Ian was trying for a casual lean against the doorframe, but his neck was red. Brendan’s encouraging smile just made her own face hotter.
“That guy.” She pointed to Ian. Literary magazine editor-in-chief, winner of two national writing awards, more poems in her journal than she’d ever admit to writing, and language had failed her completely.
Silence reigned. Ian cleared his throat.
“Diana's great, Mrs. Cooper. Mr. Cooper.” He nodded to both her parents. “I’ve thought so for a long time.”
Suddenly, everything was happening at once. Mrs. O'Brian threw her arms around Diana, as misty-eyed as if she and Ian had just announced their engagement. Mr. O’Brian clapped Ian on the back, hi
s grin an echo of Brendan’s. Diana’s father asked, “How long, exactly, has this been going on?” And her mother tried to smile while casting some very misgiving looks at Ian. Her gaze turned pointedly to Diana, then Brendan. The message was clear: Are you sure you’ve got the right twin?
“Mrs. Cooper, I'm completely to blame.” Brendan spread his hands with a conciliatory smile. “I’m the one who set them up. I just thought they'd fit so well together.”
“Tone it down, Brendan,” Ian muttered out of the side of his mouth. Quiet enough for just Brendan and Diana to hear.
“Brendan?” Mrs. Cooper demanded. “You’re responsible for this? Diana, what is going on? Just a few weeks ago, Brendan was in your bed because you were having nightmares, which by the way, we still haven’t discussed, but only because it was Brendan—”
“Brendan was in her bed?” Her father’s jaw dropped.
Diana clamped her lips down on an unholy burst of laughter. The twins exchanged a swift glance. Mr. and Mrs. O’Brian traded matching glances that made it clear they knew exactly which twin had spent the night in her bed, and thank God they looked more amused than upset.
“It was a special situation, Mrs. Cooper.” Ian’s voice was as smooth now as when he’d impersonated his brother. His blush had faded. He dimpled at Diana’s mother, his handsome face all apologetic assurance. Diana unhooked her glasses to rub her eyes. Seeing Ian take on Brendan’s body language — it wasn’t the first time, but it still made her head spin. “Diana’s told me how much she appreciates that Brendan’s like a big brother.”
Mrs. Cooper blinked a few times. “Which is why I hope Brendan’s around to keep an eye on things.”
“Yes, Mom.” Diana crossed her arms primly. “Brendan chaperones all our dates. We drink milk and watch cartoons, just like old times. And then he puts us down for a nap.”
“Diana,” her father began warningly. Her mother looked stunned, like a different Diana had taken her daughter’s place. Ian coughed the fakest cough she'd ever heard into his hand, and Brendan's very broad smile told her he was hiding a burst of laughter. A few snickers floated from Brendan's bedroom. Mr. and Mrs. O'Brian just kept beaming.
“Sorry.” Getting mouthy with her parents wouldn't help her case that Ian was doing her a world of good. “Really, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. But I'm not sorry about Ian. Not at all.”
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