Brendan heaved a sigh. “Just be careful.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed his hand. The brief touch left her off-balance. Dammit, why? This needed to stop. She was with Ian, she wanted to be with Ian, and that was the whole story. Brendan equals brother.
As soon as Sonia reappeared, Brendan said goodbye. He gave Sonia a nod — clearly Brendan couldn’t be rude back, though she just gave him a bored look in return — and hurried out. One female head after another whipped toward him as he left the dining hall.
“Do you only hang out with people who look alike?” Sonia asked.
“Yep.” Shaking off thoughts of Brendan, Diana laughed. Sonia’s abruptness was beginning to feel less jarring. “If you don’t have a twin, I can’t spend time with you.”
“Good.” Sonia stood up with her tray. “I’ll leave you guys alone. I’ll be back around 3, 4 am. Just keep your shit out of my side of the room, okay?”
“Uh-uh. Sorry,” Diana giggled. The dining hall was noisy enough that she didn’t worry about being overheard. “We’re going to do it in your bed. I’m going to be the roommate from hell.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.”
“Really?” Diana stopped laughing. “You thought I was going to be the crazy one?”
“You are the crazy one.” Sonia squinted at her like the truth was obvious. When Diana appealed to Ian, he just nodded emphatically.
She shook her head. “I’ll try not to be too obnoxious.”
“Yeah, you can try.” Sonia left without saying goodbye.
Diana watched her go, then turned to Ian. He leaned back in his chair, a satisfied smile on his face.
“Told you so.”
“I saw what you did,” Diana whispered. “You completely won her over. I wouldn’t have. Even Brendan couldn’t.”
Ian shrugged. “Ninety-nine per cent of the time, Brendan’s better at that. But I know when someone has a chip on their shoulder and they’re trying to compensate.”
“Oh, really?” She tickled his side through his shirt. He kissed the top of her head.
“Know it better now that we’re together.”
Chapter Fifteen
As August turned into September, and October gave way to November, Diana did her best to balance trying everything at Yale and seeing Ian on weekends. Her world was wide open now, big and exciting. But tugs came in all directions from her social life, her boyfriend, and working to be the best in a school packed with bests.
She texted with Marissa and Janelle, which kept her feet on the ground. Her parents were glad she called them each week.
But with every conversation, the question hung in the air: Are you still dating Ian O’Brian?
Yes. She was very much dating Ian. Until Thanksgiving break, when he had to travel for basketball, they didn’t miss a weekend together. Diana had expected a two-and-a-half-hour bus ride to UConn every time she wanted to see her boyfriend, but Sonia stayed true to her word and said she didn’t mind when Ian came to visit.
Ian had been right. While “best friends” was a stretch, Sonia was an excellent roommate. She had her own habits — staying out till all hours doing who knows what, sleeping late — but she slept like a rock. She still changed clothes with zero modesty, and she was blunt and abrupt, but Diana always knew where she stood with her. It was refreshing.
Even more surprising, Sonia and Ian hit it off. The second weekend he visited, Sonia let out a surly grumble that might have passed for ‘hello.’ In response, Ian burped loudly in her direction. And instead of the volcano Diana expected, Sonia cackled with laughter. Ian was okay in her book after that.
It was nicer to visit the twins’ apartment, though. A double bed to share with Ian, a room to themselves all night long, flannel sheets that smelled like him. A kitchen where she baked cookies and teased him with the frilly apron she’d bought.
The twins’ roommates, Jeff and Steve, mocked Ian about being totally whipped, and whenever Diana went out with him on campus, there was a stir of whispers. Comments, too, about how Ian was drinking less and showing up more to class. He took her to her first frat party, where a drunken group wanted to know how Ian O’Brian had bagged a freshman girl at Yale and she was too tipsy to do more than giggle.
But her wild times with Ian didn’t happen in public. They happened in private: in his room, inside the Jeep when he picked her up from the bus station, in her dorm bed with one flickering candle and her record player turned low.
She’d brought her red dress to Yale, the one she’d worn to the club night with the twins. The dress that had amped her curves up and soaked in the scent of smoke and beer, only to end up on the floor of a strange girl’s bedroom. But it hung in her closet, unworn.
Brendan was friendly when he saw her, which wasn’t often. Mostly, he was out of the apartment when she and Ian were in it. When they did cross paths, he was rarely alone. He was with a pack of guys, or a girl, or a group of both.
One Saturday night before Thanksgiving, he did come home while she and Ian were curled up on the couch in front of a movie. He teased them about being an old married couple, down to the fleecy blanket they were snuggled under, but he sat next to Diana to watch the rest of the movie with them.
It was late. She’d had a long week. As the screen flickered, her head drooped between the twins, and her eyelids drifted closed.
The squeak of the front door woke her. One of the twins’ roommates was walking into the apartment — Jeff, jangling his car keys.
The twins were fast asleep, lounging on either side of her. Her head rested against Brendan’s solid shoulder, her legs were draped across Ian’s lap. The blanket had fallen to the floor, and her skirt was rumpled around her thighs. When Jeff met her eyes, he gave her a funny look.
Right. It would make more sense for Brendan to be sitting on the other side of Ian. She shrugged sleepily and smiled at Jeff. He shook his head, giving her one more glance between the twins, and went to his room.
There was absolutely nothing there with Brendan. Since Sonia had walked in on the three of them in August, neither twin had made any move to talk about what had happened in her bed. She didn’t bring it up, either.
Sometimes, though, she had to repeat “Brendan equals brother” to herself , ignoring the tingles in her body, when he pulled her in for a hug and kissed her on the cheek. And she definitely noticed all the cute guys at Yale. They were there. She saw them.
But Ian was the one whose eyes she wanted to look into, Ian was the one she wanted to fall asleep next to, Ian was the one she wanted to have soft conversations with in the middle of the night with the phone pressed against her ear.
The one she wrote love poems for — ripped from her new journal, folded into paper airplanes, and mailed to UConn.
After Sonia walked in on a private Skype session, she announced that if Diana wanted to have long-distance sexy times with Ian, she should just reserve the room and tell her in advance. Diana turned red, but she took her up on it. And honestly, putting on a show for Ian, slowly toying with her sexiest underwear while he growled dirty advice, was shockingly hot.
But afterwards, she always wanted Ian's arms around her. You didn't get that from a screen.
Chapter Sixteen
“I’m going to kill him.” Diana pitched her phone onto her bed and leaned back in her desk chair. Outside, early December night was falling over campus. Her literature homework was spread over the desk.
“Not Ian.” Sonia stretched lazily next to the closet. Weeks into the semester, it had become clear that Sonia was one of those people who never seemed to study but aced all their classes. Used to pushing herself, Diana couldn’t relate. It was unusual for Sonia to even be in their room right now.
“Yes, Ian. Do you have an objection? Because he deserves it. I was supposed to go see him this weekend—”
“And he canceled?”
“No,” Diana said grudgingly. “I canceled. I have too much work. I’m falling behind.”
Last weekend had been Thanksgiving. She hadn’t seen Ian then either, because he had to travel for basketball. Which meant a total of three weeks apart until they were together again. The ache of missing him filled her body, but papers and problem sets were piling up. Spending every weekend in his arms had been a beautiful distraction.
“Don’t sweat it.”
“I don’t know how to not sweat it. I don’t fall behind with schoolwork. That’s not who I am. I can let go to a certain point, but I have to do my best.”
“You need to dominate. I get it.”
“Stop,” Diana groaned. She closed her laptop and flopped across her desk.
“You want a blue ribbon?”
“I just want to make the most of being here. And I’m going to kill Ian, because when I told him I couldn’t come this weekend, he said he was sending me a package. So I go to the mailroom to pick it up today, I rip the box because I’m so excited, and the biggest, I mean fucking huge, vibrator falls out in front of everyone else getting their mail.” Her cheeks went hot, remembering. Sonia let out a peal of laughter. “Oh, and a note fell out too. It said, Now you can come this weekend. Tell me about it when you do. And when I informed him of my utter humiliation, he just texted back to ask if I’d used it yet.”
Sonia propped an ankle behind her head. “Kill his twin. Let Ian live.”
“What’s your problem with Brendan?” Diana flipped her pen between her fingers and reached for the giant mug of coffee on her desk. “You’ve only met him once.”
“Once was too much. Your boyfriend's one of the few decent guys I know, but his brother's the devil incarnate.”
Diana choked on her coffee. “Brendan's not the devil,” she coughed between giggles. “He's no angel either, but he's a good person.”
“I don't like people who everyone else likes. Or who want everyone to like them. Is it just me, or is he used to running his brother’s life?”
“It’s not just you.” Cautiously, Diana set her mug down, far away from her laptop. Her roommate’s powers of observation were uncanny. Neither she nor Ian had ever discussed his relationship with Brendan in front of Sonia. “They used to be attached at the hip. But not anymore.”
Sonia rattled the hangers in her closet. “Thank Jesus. I can’t imagine being so tied up with someone else. Now Ian’s free.”
Diana stacked her papers, re-ordering them. “I don’t think it works that way. No one’s ever totally free.”
Her wrists tingled, feeling the grip of Ian’s fingers. She’d asked him to hold her down again. Twice, since the first time in her dorm room.
The raw force of Ian pinning her to the bed got her so excited it took her breath away. The pounding of her heart filled her ears, her blood rushed, and desire saturated his handsome face. The reality of letting go so intimately with him, looking into his eyes, stripped down and helpless beneath him — God, it was huge.
But the third and last time, the sensations of spinning, falling, and hurtling through air had been so strong that they scared her.
She hadn’t welcomed the fall, the way she had in her bedroom after the boxing match, in her bed here when she first arrived at Yale, in her dream about overtaking the twins on her bike and them taking her over as smoke. No, she’d clenched up tight, everywhere.
Ian had taken one look at her face and let her wrists go. He’d been so nice about it, gentle as they finished making love. It was up to her to ask for it again if she wanted it. And she hadn’t asked for it.
But now, her body remembered the first time. A strong hand restrained her, then hard plastic. Her mind wrapped her boyfriend’s brother’s handcuffs around her wrists. Her curves arched up, inviting Ian to take her somewhere neither of them knew.
“Eh.” Sonia shrugged, breaking in on her thoughts. “I try to be free.”
Brendan’s amused voice brushed Diana’s ear. It’s nice to be with a special someone. But your options just aren’t the same.
“And Ian’s my baby,” Sonia went on. “I just want to put him in my pocket. No one fucks with his life.”
Diana snorted. Some girls might be put out if their roommate had an oddball friendship with their boyfriend. But she could trust Sonia to be completely transparent, and Ian to be completely uninterested.
“He’s older than you are.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Brendan has good intentions,” Diana protested. “He genuinely wants everyone to be happy. I trust him more than almost anyone else I know.”
Sonia gave her a funny look. “How well do you know your boyfriend's brother?”
“Oh...we all grew up together.” Diana turned to her laptop, her cheeks pink. “We know each other pretty well.”
Over the summer, she’d wondered if anyone would suspect the threesome. But her friends were too dazzled by the light of the O'Brians to really believe she was with Ian, let alone guess she'd slept with Brendan too.
Sonia was another story.
“Want to go out tonight?” Diana asked abruptly.
“Where?”
“To party. It’s Friday. I’m not going to mope around over missing Ian or sit with my lit paper tonight. I’ll bang it out tomorrow.”
Sonia gave her a disgusted look. “I don’t party.”
“You’re out ’til all hours.”
“Yeah, but I’m not drinking or shoving my tits into other drunks.” Sonia stalked around the room, rustling the hangers in the closets. “You’re the wild one.”
“I’m really not,” Diana began, but a flash of red from her closet caught her eye.
Yes. She was the wild one. She would be.
*
At eleven pm that night, Diana walked across campus, arm in arm with Kate and Eleanor from across the hall. The red dress clung to her frame. Her high heels clicked on the paved path. Underneath her knee-length coat, the wind blew up her skirt and stung her bare legs.
She’d knocked back a shot of tequila in Kate and Eleanor’s room, then chased it with a second one to keep it company. The alcohol flushed her body, warming her to take the chill off the whipping breeze.
“Where’s your boy?” Eleanor asked her.
“At school. I’ll see him next weekend.” She flipped her hair back.
Her curves were covered by her purple wool coat, but it nipped in at the waist and outlined her hourglass figure. As she looked up and out, stares caught on her face, the thrust of her breasts, the jut of her hips, the expanse of pale leg that was showing. Male stares, female stares.
Each pair of eyes were embers, coals that clung to her body and sparked flames to lick her skin. She was so used to going out with Ian, gazing at his face only, wrapping herself up in him. And that was how she wanted it, of course it was, but — she’d missed this. Strutting down the pavement in heels, attention rippling toward her, power rippling out from her. She’d tasted it so briefly after high school graduation. The gazes were like a drug, spiraling through her body and sharpening her senses.
“Let’s hit the frats,” she announced.
“Sig Nu is having a party. They’re this way.” Kate tugged at her arm.
As they walked up the stone steps, a guy waved them past the line. Diana stepped inside and the noise surrounded her.
Holy shit, there were guys everywhere. Someone was taking her purple coat and putting it behind a couch. Heads whipped toward her as the red dress was revealed. The bright fabric made a shocking contrast to her pale skin and dark hair, clinging to every exaggerated curve.
She pretended not to notice the lust that thickened the air as she laughed with her friends, but attention pulled in to her like iron filings to a magnet.
Drinks appeared, offered from all directions. She waved them away, pulled Kate and Eleanor to the bar, and ladled out three cups of punch. They clinked glasses and sipped. Bodies pressed in on every side.
The punch was as sweet and fruity as the drinks the twins had bought her when they took her out after graduation. This time, she tasted the alco
hol.
A guy was trying to talk to her. No, two — make that three guys. Music pounded through the room, lights were flashing, and she barely heard a word they were yelling.
One of them held out a hand. Why not? It was just dancing. Her friends were getting more drinks, striking up conversations. She grabbed the male hand stretching toward her — there was a name attached to the hand’s owner, but she hadn’t caught it in the noise — and let him lead her onto the dance floor.
Bass thumped through her body, the singer’s voice pulsed over her in waves, and the room rolled beneath her feet. The masculine body behind her, the hands on her hips, were all part of the atmosphere that fed her energy. The headiness of moving with a packed room of people, letting every worry and responsibility go — each sway of her hips intoxicated her.
The guy behind her was getting more aggressive, his hands roaming over her stomach. She wriggled free, shouted something over her shoulder, and threaded her way to the bar.
Punch, jello shots, mixed drinks — they all looked good, but she didn’t have time to waste sipping a drink. She needed to dance.
She remembered the twins tipping their heads back at the club, knocking back two shots each of clear brown liquid. She could guess what it was now. She knew how to have fun, and she wasn’t scared.
“Two shots of bourbon,” she commanded.
The blond guy who was tending bar looked her over. Then he grinned, upended a bottle, and handed her two tiny plastic cups. She downed the first one, gasped at the burn in her throat, and chased it with the second.
“More?” he offered.
“Later.” She raked her bangs back from her forehead. She was starting to sweat. Perspiration gathered on her skin and in the valley of her cleavage. Her legs longed to be back on the dance floor.
“Come back soon. I’ll take care of you as long as you want. This —” he banged the bottle of bourbon down on the bar — “has your name on it.”
The Girl in Between Page 23