by Blaine Hicks
Radley started his next spell while the ape was still watching the staff disappear with a look of surprise. When the ape’s attention returned to Radley, it saw him chanting. It knew what that meant and crouched, ready to dodge whatever new attack the incantation would conjure; but this spell was not something it could dodge. Radley completed the three second spellcast and a translucent barrier appeared between them. The sonic shield shimmered like motes of dust in sunlight. The ape didn’t understand what it was looking at, but it knew the shimmering light was in its way. It lunged forward and punched the shield hard with its good arm. This was a mistake. The impact triggered a feedback effect that rebounded the force of its strike. The ape was sent sprawling backwards.
Radley sighed in relief. He had never used the shield before and hadn’t been sure what it would actually do. If the fist had come through, he would be dead. It hadn’t. The ape lay against the bars of the cage and was slow to get to its feet. It looked haggard and bruised and despite being the bigger and stronger opponent, it was back on the defensive again. Radley watched it cautiously and the ape watched back with an eerie, malicious intelligence. Just as Radley began to hope for victory, the ape reached through the bars of the cage and snatched Settri’s bowie knife from a surprised goblin captain’s hand. Knobbs had been so consumed by the battle that he was pressed up against the cage bars with the knife still clutched in his hand. Radley barely registered the embarrassed look on the goblins face before focusing again on the ape.
The creature charged again, this time leading with the heavy bladed knife. As it connected with his sonic shield, lightning erupted from the point of impact in all directions. The bolts of power bathed the cage bars in current and electrocuted several goblins who stood to close. Once again, the ape was thrown back but this time, it stayed on its feet. The sonic shield around Radley shattered leaving the elemental mage standing defenseless again. He had no staff, no familiar, no armor, and only two spells remaining. Choosing one would mean victory and the other his death, but which spell was correct?
He braced his casting arm, unsure exactly how flame strike would manifest. If it was anything like his earth darts, he would need to prepare for recoil. He completed the incantation and fire poured from his outstretched hand like high pressure water from a fire hose. The fountain of flames engulfed the ape who scrambled to avoid the attack but was too slow.
After several long seconds of damage, Radley cut the flow of mana to the spell. He was nearly out of MPs but the fight was over and a series of notifications told Radley the creature was dead. Radley swayed slightly and stared down and the motionless creature. It had been just as likely to be his own corpse laying there now. There was something unsporting about killing it in this manner and he was angry things had turned out this way.
The rest of the world returned to Radley’s senses. The goblin king roared over the cacophony of goblins shouting and Radley finally saw the frenzy around him. The goblins were overcome with bloodlust. They screamed and snarled like feral beasts as they watched the violence inside the cage. Those closest to the cage shoved each other as they pressed towards the bars for a better view of the charred ape. Over the din, the goblin king continued to shout, “What a show!”
Radley was done with this circus. He was many things: desperate, defensive, and even a little cold hearted but he wasn’t a puppet and he wouldn’t play anymore. He glared at the king who was plainly visible above the crowd, perched on his throne. The great goblin was eating the wasp larva from Knobbs as if it was a bowl of popcorn for a movie. The king’s casual attitude pushed Radley over the edge. He raised his hand and, in protest, uttered the incantation for his final spell. A two-foot shard of razor-sharp ice was conjured in the air before his hand. It shot forward like crossbow bolt towards the half eaten white slug. It tore through the meal like it wasn’t even there and shattered against the back wall of the chamber. The troll guards immediately sprang into action encircling the king and aiming their weapons toward the cage, but they waited for a command to attack.
Radley was so tired from such a long day and done with the king’s games. Not only because of the battle and his low stamina but he was mentally tired from trying to adapt to this crazy world. He stepped forward to hold the bars of his cage for support. The goblin crowd in front of him coward at his fierce stare and backed away leaving an unobstructed view of the dais and the king. The wasp larva was gone. Radley thought it must have been vaporized until he looked back at the King. The great goblin was coated from head to toe in chunky flesh, entrails, and some type of slime. The wasp larva had exploded on impact like an overfilled water balloon. When Radley spoke, it was with confidence despite the weakness in his knees, “I’m done. I came here because I killed Settri. I’ve proven myself by presenting his knife and a second time by victory in battle. I am not your subject to command, but I have done all that is reasonable and more. I was told you honor your debts, is this not true?”
The room grew silent and the provocative question hung in the air like a live grenade. Even Radley held his breath. He honestly expected an outburst from the king or maybe even an execution order, but he was past caring. He was done with these goblins.
No outburst came. The king of the goblins just began to laugh, slowly at first then louder. The crowd began to laugh cautiously with him. The great goblin wiped the slime from his eyes so he could see, then licked it from his fingers with a moan of enjoyment. “Well I’ve neva’ tasted wasp larva prepared dat way before.” The goblin crowd began to laugh with more confidence and the guards relaxed and moved to stand beside the king again. The King’s she-goblins and several other attendants began to clean the flesh and slime off him. King Kem Toan soon shooed them away, content with the new addition to his already filthy robes.
“Very well Rad Fabulas.” The King said as if he was finally ready to believe the story. He looked pointedly at Knobbs who had returned to stand before the dais, “Let him out an’ heal dat arm.”
CH 35 To the victor goes the spoils
Knobbs did as the king commanded but wore an annoyed expression. The cage was opened, and Radley climbed out with a groan of exhaustion. This was quickly overshadowed by the relief of a healing spell cast by the surly goblin captain. Knobbs was apparently a cleric as well as an abrasive soldier.
The king raised a hand but waited until the chamber was quiet again, then continued speaking. “I bestow to you the title of Star-Slayer and will give you free boarding and passage in my domain while you stay here. Furthermore, the bounty of 10 platinum coins is yours...minus taxes and fees of course.”
“That’s very generous, your greatness” Radley cooed excitedly, trying to keep a straight face.
“I’m also willing to offer you a position in my guard, if you desire id...” The words were half statement but half a question and the king carefully eyed Radley for a reaction. The offer caught him off guard and he hesitated, trying to generate an appropriate response that wouldn’t land him back into trouble. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life serving this goblin king, but he didn’t know this world. It was depressing but this might be the best offer he was going to get.
“That too is very generous, your greatness” Radley finally said then added “but please allow me a short time to decide.”
The king looked disappointed but was mollified by Radley’s respectful tone. “Very well.” The king sat back and slouched against the throne. “Return tah me when ya have an answer.”
The tall goblin standing behind the throne moved forward and tossed a small coin purse toward Radley who grabbed it easily from the air. He wasted no time checking its contents. Inside rested four platinum coins; significantly less than the promised ten. Taxes and Fees, Radley thought silently. King Toan gave him a hard look warning him not to mention the deduction to anyone, so Radley kept the smile on his face and bowed again.
“Now be gone,” the goblin king said suddenly, as if his patience for the whole affair had ended.
&n
bsp; Radley did as he was told without another word, following Knobbs who pushed a path through the crowd towards the exit. The captain was apparently just as happy to leave as Radley.
Outside, a cool night breeze greeted them. Radley looked up into the clear sky and found it ablaze with billions of twinkling stars. He closed his eyes to enjoy the moment until a low maniacal chuckle broke free from the captain's chest. “You are a crazy snake, Rad Fabulas Star-Slayer.”
The new title made him sound like an exotic dancer, but Radley was pretty sure that wasn’t the reason for the captain’s laughter. Knobbs ignored his annoyance and laughed intentionally louder like he was trying to make a point. The eyes of the guards standing at attention flicked towards. Ruckus had been picking his nose but stopped when he heard the familiar laughter. He wiped the finger against the red stone wall and rushed over to meet them. “What happened in there, what happened?” the smaller goblin asked.
The taller goblin captain handed Radley back his bowie knife and walking stick. Radley had lost track of both during the commotion. Knobbs didn’t even look at Ruckus but answered, “This crazy snake balances his life on the edge of a precipice of destruction. I have never seen such foolishness. His performance before the Great King was terrifying and astounding. It was like watching a blind orc chase an oiled boar.”
Ruckus shuddered at the thought and hunched down lower than usual as if cowed by such an unbearable situation.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Radley insisted in his own defense.
“You must have some powerful luck on your side.” the goblin captain added, ignoring Radley’s weak argument.
“What does luck have to do with it?” Radley asked more confused than ever.
Knobbs almost dismissed the question but answered on a whim. “Luck is the only reason you could possibly be standing here snake. Do you think I have ever seen His Greatness hand out platinums to even a single goblin? Do you think he expected you to walk away from that fight?”
Radley agreed the chances were probably slim but now his interest was piqued so he pressed the point. “I understand, but my victory could just be due to my skill in battle.”
The goblin captain sneered in disgust. “You don’t think the King could read you? You don’t think he was sure you would fail before choosing the ape? The King is not often wrong, and only luck could swing the scale so dramatically.”
Radley opened his mouth, but no questions came out. His mind was racing. Was it possible the king could analyze others the way he could? Could he see more than just levels, health and a battle assessment? Finally, Radley settled on the simplest question he could ask. “What is luck?”
Knobbs didn’t look like he wanted to answer but he did after a long pause. “You are a moron, Star-slayer, but as you will soon receive the king’s mark, I am obligated to answer you…for now. Luck is an unquantifiable attribute. It adds diversity to each race, selecting those who become great and those who will fail to succeed. Every goblin you see in this great city has a luck score between 3-6. Goblins are not a lucky race. Naga are probably closer to 10 luck. Few mainline races would be higher; leprechauns or gnomes maybe. Luck is the one vital statistic you can’t change or improve. Investing attribute points doesn’t affect it. You are simply lucky, or you aren’t. In a game of cards anyone can draw four aces at random, but few people ever do. You, my dim-witted reptile, just drew five of them and you don’t even realize it.” Knobbs shook his head and spit on the ground. When he spoke again, it was to Ruckus and his tone was curt. “The king has offered him lodging. Take him to the Tepid Corpse. Set him up there. He’ll need a badge. Do it fast and report to me when it’s done.”
It was almost midnight according to the clock on Radley’s HUD and he couldn’t imagine that Ruckus was still on-duty. The small goblin didn't complain though and nodded eagerly back in agreement. Captain Knobbs turned and left without another word, briskly walking down the hill alone.
What a jerk, Radley thought as he watched him go.
***
Radley and Ruckus returned together down the stone path towards the streets of Red Thorn. If it was possible, Red Thorn was more crowded now than when Radley had first seen it. Ruckus went ahead of him to lead the way but moving was slow in any direction. Radley followed him easily. He had grown up in a world where every public service was overcapacity, but it didn't mean he liked crowds. Ruckus on the other hand seemed to finally relax, like this was where he felt most comfortable. The goblin wanted to be just another speck in a sea of green, brown, and tan.
Their destination was on the west side of the donut shaped settlement. While they walked, Ruckus gave Radley a basic tour which started with him describing several points of interest. As usual, Radley’s mind began to wander. He noticed that the streets of Red Thorn didn’t smell as bad as his borrowed cloak or the goblins in the platoon he had met in the forest. In fact, the urban center’s aroma was almost pleasant. Being always too inquisitive, Radley leaned over and tried to sniff a passing goblin. This turned out to be a pretty bad decision. Individually, the goblin’s aroma was putrid and the effort to smell it on purpose almost knocked Radley off his feet. He swooned and staggered into the goblins around him, knocking several over like bowling pins but he managed to keep from falling over himself. He steadied himself but his head swam from the toxic scent. Just one sniff had probably killed brain cells. The mystery was why the horrible scent didn’t carry more than a few inches. Standing up straight, Radley was only a head taller than most of the goblins but from this vantage point the air was much fresher.
Lieutenant Ruckus noticed him sniffing the crowd and his exaggerated reaction to whatever he had smelled. The lieutenant explained the reason before Radley even asked. “King Toan doesn’t like rivals...no, he doesn’t like them at all. Red Thorn has strong wards that destroys goblin odor except from the king himself...yes, he still smells very strong... Without scent, who can challenge Toan for the throne?”
Radley didn’t understand how a goblin’s scent could challenge the king, but it reminded him of what Cinderella had said when they had met; that his scent made him powerful. Radley hoped silently that rancid body odor was not an actual requirement of strength in this world. If it was, he would never be very strong. He refused to compete in the stink-olympics. At least the ban on stink in Red Thorn would keep him sane a little longer but he wisely promised himself to stop sniffing passing goblins. Ruckus was still talking about odor and how it was a key feature in Red Thorn’s laws. Radley started paying attention again and tried to move the conversation on to a more interesting topic. “You said odor was important under the law. “What other rules do goblins follow?”
“Red Thorn is a city of law, yes...a city of law.” Ruckus replied. They were pressed together by the crowd so even though it was loud, Radley could easily hear the goblin as they pushed their way along the street. “Four rules when broken earn death, the penalty is death. First! You must not compete with the king’s odor, never compete with it. Second! You must obey the commands of King Toan, oh yes, obey every command. Third! You must not kill inside the city unless it is the will of the king, you must never kill inside the walls. Fourth! You must never poop in the street, no no no, don't poop in the street.”
Radley was confused. It sounded like pooping on the street earned you an execution. He certainly agreed with that law, but the punishment seemed a little extreme. He nodded anyway. If those were the only unforgivable boundaries among goblin society, he could probably avoid death in Red Thorn.
“I’m glad you told me the rules,” Radley said, “because I almost just pooped back there while we were walking…” Radley was indicating in the direction they’d come from, so he didn’t see Ruckus leap towards him and slap a hand over his mouth. Before he could react from his shock, Ruckus hissed, “We do not say such things here, no, no, no, we do not say such things.” At the same time, a few goblins hobbling along beside them stopped their conversations and looked at Radley. Some even stopped
walking or stepped away. It was like Radley had been joking about how much fun bombs can be, while standing in the security line of an airport; nobody found it funny.
When Ruckus was sure Radley had gotten the message, he hurried them forward before anyone in the crowd could say anything, but the congenial mood of their tour was broken. Radley was quickly dropped off at an inn called the Tepid Corpse where he would apparently be given staying while in Red Thorn.
CH 36 The Tepid Corpse
The Inn actually looked more like a tavern, but it felt homey. The room's interior decor was dominated by a long bar that filled the length of an entire wall. A low fire kept the room warm and complimented the smell of mead with smoke. Benches lined two long tables that were strangely empty of any patrons.
Ruckus had a quick word with the innkeeper then told Radley he would be back later with the king’s badge. He told Radley not to leave before then or there might be trouble. Radley thanked the small goblin for his help. The pair awkwardly shook hands before Ruckus scurried out the door into the evening crowd.
The innkeeper was another small goblin, who stood behind the bar washing a pint glass with his spit and a rag so dirty that it wasn’t fit to polish shoes if Radley had a say in it. Radley sat down on a barstool in front of the innkeeper who didn’t immediately look up. The innkeeper looked really similar to Ruckus but had reddish skin instead of green and a longer than usual nose. Radley identified him:
Oak Barrel Goblin: Innkeeper
Jema Heartbreaker - 380 HP
Goblins are a common race of short, sentient, humanoids. They are cunning and can be reasoned with for the right price. Like many creatures of darkness, they are driven by a lust for wealth and riches. Oak Barrel Goblins own the trading routes that span the eastern isle. They are typically shrewd merchants. The Oak Barrel Goblin clan lives at the northern edge of Eventide Forest.