She froze to the spot and couldn’t seem to take another step forward. It didn’t matter, because Leo stood from the bench and approached her with an earnest expression and a slow stride. He removed his hat when he stopped in front of her and twisted it around in his hands.
Genny crossed her arms over her chest.
“I see you’re still upset with me.”
She raised her brows and waited for him to say more.
“I wanted to apologize, Genny. I wanted to make things better between us. There is no reason—”
“No reason,” she cut him off. “No reason for me to be angry? No reason for me to detest you as much as I do right now? You had every intention of ruining an innocent girl’s life. Someone in my care. Someone I care for.”
He grabbed her arm and hauled her off the path that wound around the gardens and behind a tall tangled mess of roses.
“You’ll have the whole household here in a minute if you don’t get control over your emotions.” Unlike her, he seemed rather calm.
“As if I care right now to control my emotions, Leo. You are lucky I’m doing no more than shout at you.”
He scratched his head with the back of his hand. “Have pity on me, Genny.”
She wanted to look away from him, walk away, but she knew he’d follow her until he’d said his piece.
He tossed his hat to the ground when she didn’t respond and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer. She turned away before his lips could press against her mouth. It didn’t stop him from kissing her elsewhere. The side of her face and neck were exposed to the touch of his whiskers and soft lips.
She closed her eyes for only a moment to enjoy the last touch she would allow herself to have from the man she loved. And despite their earlier “row,” as Charlotte put it, she did still love him and would for as long as she lived. It wasn’t an emotion easily forgotten or erased once you allowed yourself to embrace it.
She slid her hands up between them and shoved lightly at his chest. He let her go and took a step back.
“I cannot think with you here, Leo. I just want to clear my head of everything that has happened.” She looked to the ground so that the top edge of her bonnet covered her face from view and he couldn’t see her expression. “Please go … you have no reason to be here anymore.”
She let him take her hand. His hold was reverent, coaxing. “I’m sorry. I can say it a thousand times, Genny, and it’ll never be enough.”
“You’re right. It will never be enough.” She put her head back and looked at him, tears filling her eyes. She prayed they would not fall.
He took her head gently between his hands and his thumbs stroked over her temples. She didn’t have the will to push him away again. She was done fighting and arguing. What she would give to trade this in for a bad dream. But this wasn’t something she could wake up from. Leo had done the unthinkable.
“I made a promise not to walk away from you again, and I have every intention of keeping that vow.”
She shook her head; how wrong he was. “You also promised to never endanger my reputation.”
“And I haven’t.”
“You would have. And knowing now that you could have even contemplated such an act changes everything.”
He tilted her head back and kissed the side of her mouth before releasing her.
“I will leave only because you have asked me to. But when you are back in London, this issue between us will be resolved.”
“Maybe once you’re gone, you’ll realize that there is no resolution for the pain you have caused me. You have singlehandedly wrecked everything that was perfect between us.” She fisted the lapels of his jacket and emphasized her words with small shakes. “You and you alone are the cause of this. I was just the fool who fell for you…” She gave a defeated sob, but managed to keep her tears from falling. “Again.”
She let him go and stepped out of his reach.
* * *
Now was not the right time to persuade her of his good intentions. She needed time even though leaving her was the last thing he wanted to do. More than anything, he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss the wrongs away.
“I’m sorry, Genny. At least believe that.” He held out the chain and ring she’d discarded the previous night. “These belong to you, princess. At least take what is rightfully yours.”
With one final long look in his direction, she said, “Good-bye, Leo.” The regret in those words was unmistakable to him. Then she gave him her back and walked down the path to join her cousin.
He clamped the ring tightly in his fist. She hadn’t even looked at it.
He would fix the damage he’d done.
His first order of business when he returned to Town would be to see Tristan and make sure the man had found another amusement aside from Lady Charlotte.
And then he’d work up some much-needed courage to confront Jez.
* * *
As if the first time she’d asked him to leave wasn’t hard enough, now she had to ask him to leave again? Life was unfair and unmerciful.
“What has happened between you two?” Charlotte asked when she was back by her cousin’s side. Thank goodness most of her tears had dried up shortly after she left Leo.
“He wanted to tell me he was headed back to London.”
Their gait was unhurried as they walked down the stone path flanked with green and red hedges. The birds were chirping loudly around them, as though a storm wasn’t far off.
“Why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not.” The warm breeze had sweat beading on her brow, which Genny wiped away with her handkerchief. She quickened her stride, as though she’d be able to outrun the questions her cousin would soon ask.
“You’re treating me like a child!”
“Charlotte, you haven’t been a child for some time.” She stopped and turned to her cousin when they reached the neatly clipped grass lawn. “I daresay I’m not sure you were ever a child. But I’m telling you the truth. He leaves for London later today.”
Not only did Genny find it humiliating that Leo had duped her twice, she was still hurt by his actions and didn’t wish to discuss the details with Charlotte of all people. If she talked about it, she’d cry. And she did not want to return to the house with a tear-streaked face where everyone would be sure to ask what was wrong.
“What was it he tried to give you?”
Had her cousin seen the ring? Or was she just fishing for information so she could solve the puzzle herself?
“A trinket.”
“If you won’t talk about it now, I’ll pester you at the dinner table for more information on your friendship with Lord Barrington.”
Genny turned and glared at Charlotte. It felt good to replace her feelings of sadness with a slow simmering of rage. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Are you so sure?” Charlotte cocked her head to the side and gave her a challenging look.
“When I took this position, I thought I would actually make a difference in someone’s life. But you’ve been a trial that I could have done without. I take back what I said earlier, you do nothing but act like a child.”
Genny clapped her hand over her mouth. How could she have said anything so horrible as that? What was wrong with her?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She was saying a lot of things on the spur of the moment lately.
“Yes you did.” Hurt colored Charlotte’s voice. “But tell me you wouldn’t act the same way if you were told to marry a man you had no desire to marry.”
“We’ve been over this time and time again. You can make this difficult, or you can accept and embrace the new life you’ll have.”
Charlotte clasped her hands behind her back and continued down the lawn ahead of her. “I know you think me young and naïve.”
“I think you are a very intelligent young woman.” She followed her cousin, catching up to her at the edge of the stream. She rubbed her hand soothingly over her cousin�
��s arm when they stopped again under the shade of a tall elm. “I really didn’t mean what I said.”
“You needn’t take your words back.”
Genny sat down on the grass, uncaring if it soiled her white walking dress. “You guessed right earlier.”
“Are we referring to Lord Barrington?”
Her cousin sat next to her and leaned back on her elbows. Genny lay back with a sigh, stared up at the green canopy shading them from the sun, and folded her hands over her midsection.
If Genny explained how she and Lord Barrington could never marry, even if they wanted to, would Charlotte welcome her impending marriage?
“Lord Barrington and I had a disagreement.”
“On?”
“His reputation.”
“Why would you even discuss his reputation?”
“Because he thought to court me.” Genny rolled over onto her side, her head resting on her open palm as she assessed her cousin’s expression. “I already know your father won’t allow it.”
Charlotte gave her a questioning look. “You don’t know that.”
“Your father and Lord Barrington have very opposing views in political matters.”
“Why should that matter? The earl will make an excellent husband with his title and his wealth.”
“It matters to your father.” Genny plucked at the grass between them. She shouldn’t tell her cousin this, but really, what good would it do to hide the full truth from her when Charlotte would find out eventually anyway. “Your father told me to avoid Lord Barrington completely. He specifically said I could never be caught in the earl’s company again.”
Charlotte sat up, a scowl on her face. She was obviously displeased on Genny’s behalf. “Then why did he let us come to the Carleton house party? Surely he knows Lord Barrington is in attendance.”
“Because of the exclusivity of this party. To ignore or refuse the invitation would have been a slight toward the Carletons.”
“We were only invited because you know Lady Carleton.” Charlotte folded her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. She pressed the side of her face against her raised knees.
“I think she’s taken a great liking to you and Ariel.” Genny sat up and toed her slippers off. “Let us cool off before anyone can catch us being indiscreet.”
“An excellent idea.” Charlotte removed her shoes and rolled her stockings down. “Why would Papa refuse a courtship between Lord Barrington and you?”
“Quite frankly, they despise each other.”
“I don’t think Papa likes anyone. He’s getting grumpier as he ages. He’ll be an old curmudgeon soon and liable to beat anyone with his cane if they get too close.”
They both laughed at the image of Charlotte’s father doing just that.
“I don’t think anyone would believe Lord Barrington’s intentions were pure if he were to court me. So I kindly refused him.”
They waded into the cool water, holding their skirts above the stream. There was a cluster of large boulders three feet out from the shore that they could perch themselves against, so they headed toward them.
“He’s liable to settle down with a wife soon, considering his age,” Charlotte said.
“He’s not yet thirty. And unlike us mere women, men can sire children at any age.”
“True. But I still think you should ask Papa. Or maybe Lord Barrington can present his case? That would be utterly romantic.”
“Who would look after you if I am focused on a courtship?”
Charlotte shrugged her shoulders. “If I’m to wed as soon as the fall, Grandmamma can attend events with me.”
“I’m not sure your father would agree with this plan of yours.” Genny rested her head back on the rocks and let the sun heat her face.
“You will never know unless you ask.”
But she’d never ask. Barrington had proven no better than his reputation. Not that she would reveal that to her cousin. That was her secret to bear alone.
“Maybe I will ask your father after you are wed,” she said, lying easily. That should pacify her cousin and put off the conversation until a much later date. “Come on, we have to head back; we’ve been cooling in the water a good half hour.”
They gathered up their stockings, stuffing them in their pockets, and slipped back into their shoes.
“Don’t mention this conversation again. I don’t want anyone to know that Barrington and I might have been more than friends.”
“That you have so little faith in me goes to show you don’t know me well.” Charlotte looped her arm through Genny’s on the long walk back to the house. “Your secret is safe with me.”
She knew her secrets would be safe with her cousin, but she could never reveal the ugly truth about Barrington and Castleigh. Why should she crush her cousin’s heart? Charlotte would eventually figure out that both men were no longer interested in being a part of their lives.
When they reached the back entrance, Lady Hargrove informed them that Lord Barrington had urgent business to attend to in London and had left while they’d been on their walk.
Though she’d expected him to leave, the news still made her heart splinter right down the center. It was better this way, she argued to herself. It would be easier to forget him if he wasn’t constantly in her presence.
When they went to their own rooms to freshen up after their walk, Genny tossed her hat on her bed and slumped down on the chaise longue near the fireplace and stared at nothing. She wished she could take one day for herself before having to play the perfect chaperone in two hours’ time for luncheon. She’d have to settle for a short nap and hope that her emotions didn’t bombard her at an inconvenient time.
When she focused on the mantel clock, she saw a small blue box that hadn’t been there when she’d left. Genny tilted her head to the side, spying a folded piece of paper next to the box, which looked vaguely familiar.
She stood and grabbed both items from the mantel and sat back down on the chaise. She held the box in her hand, turning it over, recalling the first time she’d seen it back at her uncle’s house.
She set it next to her, not sure she should even open it, and peeled through the wax that sealed the letter.
Princess,
Before you toss away this letter or the present that I bought you all those weeks ago from the jeweler’s, please hear me out. I cannot walk away from us with my heart intact. I cannot leave you to a life of uncertainty even if it seems better to find your own way than to ever trust me again.
Everything between us these last two weeks has meant more to me than you can ever know. I love you. I have always loved you and I know that we can start over even if I’ve been the biggest ass there ever was.
Without you, my life is nothing. I need your smile, your laughter, your very presence. You alone make me a better man, and that is the only reason I confessed what needed to be said. I’m sorry I hurt you. That I broke your trust in me. But know that no matter how long it takes, I will win you back.
Always your
Leo
Genny had to wipe away more tears that spilled over her cheeks. She loved him, too, but that didn’t mean she could forgive him.
Lying back on the chaise, she fingered the chocolate-brown ribbon that sealed the box’s contents from sight. The brown matched Leo’s eyes exactly and the comparison had more tears gushing down her face. Handkerchief completely sodden, she gave up wiping the salty liquid and let them flow freely.
Accepting Leo’s gift meant accepting him back into her life. Should she send the box back to him by post? Or maybe it was better to open it and give the bauble to someone else? That would be a divine punishment, the only flaw being that he’d never know.
She slowly pulled the end of the satin ribbon, questioning her sanity until the whole thing unraveled at the center. It was too late to turn back now. She flipped the lid off, letting it tumble to the floor.
Her breath caught on seeing the beautiful piece insid
e. It wasn’t any of the hair combs she’d tried on for him. This one was far prettier than any of those.
White ivory, she guessed, as she lifted it from the box.
Little round carved balls lined the top. A flower bloomed below the top edge from the center and vines swirled in a delicate pattern through the rest of it. It was smaller than the palm of her hand and incredibly beautiful. Five tines about two and some inches long stretched out below. She ran her finger over the bottom edge then brought it close to inspect the detailed work of the decorative head.
She could never wear something so beautiful and obviously expensive without anyone asking her where she had obtained such a piece. She put it back in the box.
It seemed pointless to send it back to Leo. He had given it to her, knowing that she might refuse to ever see him again, so it was hers to do with as she pleased. Wrapping it back up, she pulled out her portmanteau from beneath the bed, and placed the box inside where no one would ever know about it.
Chapter 21
None other than the recently rusticating Lord B___is back in Town. With him comes a wave of speculation about his current attraction to a young lady. A reliable source has heard that he escaped from his holiday the moment he was caught in a compromising position with his young lady friend. Of course she’s been ruined for any others now that Lord B___ has taken advantage of her. Everyone wants to know if this is a new entertainment he’s partaking in. In time we will know the answer to this, for the season has yet to end and there are so many more spinsters for one such as him to weed out.
The Mayfair Chronicles, August 6, 1846
The unthinkable had happened, and it had necessitated Genny’s quick removal from the house party.
It had been two days ago now that she and Barrington had fought and she’d said good-bye to him one final time. It had been forty hours since Barrington had left the Carleton Estate. It had been a mere eight hours since Lord Ponsley had arrived after receiving a note that his daughter’s chaperone was an unseemly character indulging in a very public affair.
Wicked Nights With a Proper Lady Page 24